The Masked Singer / The Voice 2020 UK

xxp The padding is pretty much par for the course on ITV1 reality shows - an hour and a half programme that could have been edited down to one hour.

Monster is an Olympic gold medalist - it'd be funny if it were tiny Mo Farah inside that huge costume. Fox looks like a Goldfrapp fever dream - the video intro clue about the East End was a bit obvious - Letitia Dean?

Tree is so Peter Crouch.

Tree obvs a footballer - I wonder how many times he hit the wood as a player? haha lol oh *gets coat* Pharaoh isn't Tony Blair. This show is a lot more fun than I thought it'd be - the low expectations for the celeb singers performances makes the occasionally bad singing more tolerable than on X Factor Celebs.

The previews/ads are trying to have it both ways..

"Oh is it Elton John? / Helen Mirren/ Idris Elba?"

These people are not on this show.

They'd want too much money, for a start.

Exactly.

I can confirm I am not a singing tree

— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) January 5, 2020

Fair enough

So, is anybody talking about The Voice now?

We have to trudge through several weeks of blind auditions to get to the weekend where they suddenly get rid of half of the singers. For the moment, no-one's stood out.

The Masked Singer: it looked like the panel were having to work hard to look enthused. It didn't feel exciting.

The Voice: Of the many singing shows, I quite like this: there's a warmth and a decency. No-one ever seems chosen for being comedy awful and there sometimes seems to be genuine regret (that no-one turned around). I know I'm not the target audience but the panel doesn't work for me. Olly Murs is worse than Ricky Wilson!

Ken acts almost like someone's writing his gags for him. Davina looks enthusiastic but we've seen her do that over the most woeful BB shit. Rita Ora's thinking the whole time that she'd rather be back on The Voice? Wossy is the only one who I can genuinely believe wants to be there, because right now his ITV1 chat show is doing well, so he doesn't really need to be taking an early Saturday evening gig. Whether or not any of the panel give a shit, I still think it's a good show - although as mentioned above the padding kills momentum.

Olly is way less annoying than I thought he'd be - he's still plenty annoying though. I always thought that Ricky was a bit crap as a mentor, no matter how sincere he might have been. will.i.am has dialled back the enforced wackiness over several series - at the start he was unbearable. He'll still take your favourite act and do a stupid collab in a moment though. Meghan it's too early to tell. If Tom Jones wasn't on this show I'd be much less interested in watching - the year he was absent and replaced with Paloma Faith (perhaps not surprisingly the last year it was on BBC before the move to ITV) would have been terrible if it hadn't been for Boy George.

Tom Jones is interesting because he's "properly famous" - the sort of famous that your family would want you to *choose him* even if your FAVOURITE POP STAR IN THE WORLD EVER! was Meghan. It adds interest. Ricky was entertaining because almost no-one was ever going to actively choose him. I could imagine that someone would think "There's no way will.i.am will be interested in me but Ricky might be my new best mate."

Like with Wossy, Tom doesn't need to do this, so I assume that his motivations are less driven by business (the vertical brand that is will.i.am) or a need to keep a career ticking over between albums (Meghan - first album in four years due this year / Olly - at his current rate his next album won't be out until the end of this year).

Gah I was so close to guessing that. The pronunciation of 'through' in the second song was winding me up. Think I wasn't expecting a 'professional' singer.
I can't really hear the vox clearly in the big songs, which may be intentional?

For all the panels talk last week about him being an athlete, I wasn't expecting it to be him.

Yeah I'd resigned myself to giving up as I don't know what any athletes sound like.
Also I've mixed up which character had which clues since last week.

They did TMS in Aus last year and it was excruciating - the singers were all C grade and when revealed, half the judges would be like "wait, who?". Which, if you have Lindsay Lohan as a judge is gonna happen regardless I suppose.

They were going out of their way to not say "Charlotte Church" this week.

xxp some of the clues seem to contradict clues from last week. Duck speaks Italian and Spanish now?

xp the UK version is about half professional singers, half celebs who can sing pretty well, and Pharoah. It was a surprise to hear his singing voice in juxtaposition to the costume. Good job he got voted off in the first week as that would have worn thin very quickly. This show would be worse than X Factor Celebs if none of them could sing.

Just gave it two minutes out of idle curiosity because the costumes are lovely jesus christ I did not need to hear Teddy Sheringham sing

Apparently neither did the panel because he's been voted off.

I particularly like TMS because there's no pretence that they're going to find the next Little Mix or One Direction. Unlike The Voice, which is all serious and earnest about finding the next big star (which they never do), combined with this bland daytime TV aesthetic (especially the VT on the boat, and oh and that's not the first time Tom's worn a captain's hat)
https://igifineart.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/tj010.600x1000_q85.jpg

lol at the guy who was prepared to throw his band under the bus to get famous, but then none of the coaches turned around

TMS unmasking was a surprise tonight. She looked sad to be out this early, would have been a deserving series winner.

be even sadder when it turns out she's lost to Ed Balls or something

or cee lo

Would've thought the audience would be voting for who they most want to see unmasked rather than who 'deserves' to win

Don't think so, they have previously unmasked the ones who can't sing that well.

yes, although iirc one of the good ones was in the 'bottom two'.

Octopus?

Joel Dommett - because Rylan would rather present Ready Steady Cook.

I thought Jake Shears.

― kinder, Saturday, January 4, 2020 11:38 PM (four weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

cough cough

I said this from week 1!

Totally gutted I didn't get Duck. She's always been someone whose voice I've been fascinated with but never guessed. Kind of a mix between steely wee girly and gravelly older soul. I blame the waddly costume.

Surprised how much I'm enjoying this show! Except for Rita Ora

Like, I'm pleasantly surprised it's not all "someone from Made In Chelsea" - they're all well-established people in their fields/genres

Davina said that Duck was Skin a couple of weeks ago. Unicorn has been pegged as Jake Shears for a while now. I said upthread that I'd be surprised if it wasn't John Barrowman, but after a few weeks of performances I'd been moved over to the "It's Jake of course it is" side.
I get the feeling from Rita that she's trying not very hard to pretend that she's excited by this. Maybe because she's sitting between someone who makes a living out of looking at least semi-plausibly excited (Davina) and someone who makes a living out of appearing semi-interested (Wossy).

Meanwhile on The Voice, are the auditions where no-one presses their button more brutal than previous years? Or is it because there are more people auditioning this time, so they're not showing any of the crap or even mediocre acts?

xp it's unusual to see a celeb based reality show that isn't mainly people from reality shows - see the last few I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here's.

No-one guessed Jake Shears until a week or two ago so I'm claiming this one.

did Davina really guess Skin previously?

I think so.

I just skipped through to check - she basically says Mel C every time. No mention of Skin by any of them!

I wonder where I heard that Duck was Skin? Because apart from this thread and watching the show, I haven't been watching/reading anything else about TMS. Although I'm aware of Skin, mainly from Skunk Anansie, I never would have thought that she was Duck.

very odd to see skin in a small tent screaming about a baby drawing a swastika over furious punk rock then see her a quarter of a century later singing the song from titanic dressed as a giant duck, on ITV. Jake / unicorn was too obvious from the start, and his choice of song this time didn't work.

I love queen bee and hope to god she is Nicola Roberts and not someone shit. I will wager something she is not Ellie Goulding, sounds nothing like her. Think they got too close last week, so this time the clues were silly and their guesses ridiculous.

Worst one is fucking hedgehog, he may well be Michael Ball.

So basically Monster is cee-lo, and Octopus is probably Charlotte Church?

I don't understand how people are getting these so easily. They could be anyone on earth as far as I'm concerned. Although, not wanting to come over all Tuomas but I had never heard of Jake Shears before Saturday night.

I like this because they're mainly my-era people (I don't listen to much current stuff), and they've unmasked enough now for me to think I'll probably recognise them at least - whereas at the start as you say it could be literally anyone.

The Scissor Sisters were big in the early/mid 00s, I liked them a lot at the time. If anything the costume was too on the nose. He's the only one I've got so far.

Also apart from the non-singers, all the unmasked ones have been people with pretty distinctive voices which are proving to be really hard to place out of context (in fact even Patsy Palmer has probably one of the most-recognised non-singing voices in the UK, I would've thought). Kelis should've been more obvious. I'm expecting Cee-Lo to be Monster, but I don't think Charlotte Church is Octopus (did she ever actually do anything operatic? I thought she was a choir girl).
Darkness guy - they also had that big hit early/mid 00s and the Bells one seems to be accepted Christmas song canon now, although I mainly hear them regularly as the theme tune to Katie's Amazing Machines.
Fox I still don't know about. Someone Toyah Wilcox era?
Queen Bee I have been guessing Nicola Roberts for a few weeks due to the clues but - and I say this as somewhat of a fan - I don't think her voice is that polished and actually has a bit more character.
Octopus I'm kind of leaning towards someone European - before the operatics I thought maybe Lene from Aqua?
Hedgehog, I did think Michael Macintyre but don't think so now, or someone actory putting on an accent like Ralf Little? But yeah seems too stage-professional Michael Ball esque.

I'm trying really hard to stay away from any Twitter chat about this cos I want to guess for myself!

Rita Ora is mainly annoying me because she doesn't actually seem to know any singers' voices (although she got Kelis, so kudos). It's like "ooh the clue said 'fashion', it's Cara Delavingne", "oh they look athletic - Tom Daley". Lazy guesses.

I'm trying really hard to stay away from any Twitter chat about this cos I want to guess for myself

Probably a good idea. I looked at the twitter in the run-up to or just after some of the unmaskings and I was astonished by how many people were getting them right, even Darkness guy.

I watch it on itv+1 because my kids go to bed at 7.30 and have to completely avoid twitter because it will pop up in the trending topics straight away

Same here! Actually I record it and skip the ads/padding

Hope it's Dionne Warwick so Britishers can find out how she pronounces her name

Question: Will they eventually run out of slightly out-of-fashion celebrities? Like peak oil?

Like, how many Donny Osmonds and Biz Markies and Sarah Fucking Palins and George Santoses and Drew Careys are there? How many have NOT yet been on one or another of this general group of TV shows?

Are we headed toward a Trumpocalypse with Ivana vs. Donald Jr.?

Well, that was clearly contractual for one night only

Obviously the contract didn't include an agreement where Warwick dropped the choppy cadence for the unmasked performance of the song.

Like, we know who it is now, there's no need for her to continue disguising her voice like that.

Such a legend! amazing performance! but we're voting you off first, in favour of an egg...

my random guesses: Dippy Egg could be Jon Richardson. I always seem to guess Mel Gedroyc so I forget if she's actually been on it, but Rat sounds a bit like her.

Yeah, I'm convinced Rat is a comedian. I'm sticking with Maisie Adam for now.

Catching up with this now, either they rigged the audience vote or they actually preferred Rat to Weather, both options seem implausible tbh

Time to see who is voted off because the audience and panel liked their performance the least they're the second most expensive singer on this show after Dionne Warwick.

Joel Dommett is quite tall, so whoever Air Fryer is isn't short, but ffs Rita, it's not Ru Paul in that costume. He's six foot four.

Chicken Ceaser so obviously Brandon Flowers from The Killers that the panel have to earn their money by pretending it's just about anyone else.

I love it when I'm so catastophically and hilariously wrong.

Only solid guesses we came up with last night were Ana Matronic for Airfryer and Helen Skelton for Bubble Tea and Gabby Logan for one of the others (Owl?). Let's see how wrong we are.

From the singing voice alone I thought that Air Fryer was Tones and I, but the clue package doesn't support that. Although it didn't support Chicken Ceaser being who it turned out to be, either.

It's almost as if the clue packages are cynically designed to suggest to the audience that it's some hugely famous and expensive celebrity just to keep people watching.

it's pointless (ha) trying to make anything of the clue packages this early on. I'm glad they're so obscure, I like relying on the voice.
never would've guessed Chicken Caesar was him, had assumed he was a half- decent singer as he's had a Christmas album or something right?

thought Ruby Wax for Eiffel Tower in the first couple of seconds but sounded better than I would expect for her.

I still love it when someone in a ridiculous clumpy costume shuffles on and effortlessly belts out a total banger. If they shift it more in favour of the non-singers I'll be very annoyed!

also how many series on are we and they still try and guess clues that are merely puns on their costume eg Bubble Tea saying "pop", oooh maybe it's a pop singer

Good reveal last night - clues tenuous as can be, as always, but don't think anyone had spotted their identity.

yeah didn't guess that!

Last night's reveal was hilarious.

Yep, again I was nowhere near, was utterly convinced it was Helen Skelton.

Pretty sure Eiffel Tower is Tiffany, but everyone else is a mystery

Ahead of the weekend, I'm going for the following as ones I'm reasonably confident of:

Eiffel Tower is Tiffany
Bigfoot is Alex Brooker
Dippy Egg is Will Mellor

Could "Dippy Egg" be Ralf Little, as it's the sort of thing Jim Royle would have shouted at him? (I've not seen any of the shows so far)

Joel Dommett needs better gag writers. They can't even manage a decent egg pun, and most of ILX could do that in their sleep.

think you're right about Alex Brooker then!

Maypole I wondered if it was a Sugababe, then clocked the 'Sweet Melody' clue- I'm not sure which one though...

Dippy Egg I'm now wondering if it's David Tennant, purely because of the Scottish thing, ha

lots of the panel seem convinced that a person's actual name will be written down as a clue.

I've got to say that tonight's reveal of Lorraine Kelly as Owl was almost as good as last week's.

Called tonight's one on Twitter.

Before she opened her mouth on week one I'd called Maypole Kimberley Wyatt so I'm taking Melody (Thornton) as an indirect clue.

Still think Dippy Egg is Will Mellor, but also wondering if the 500 Miles thing is a clue to the Brian Potter/Andy Pipkin thing and pointing to someone involved in that which is giving me minor Paddy McGuinness vibes

Joel's suit looks like he's had an accident with a paint roller.

(apologies if that joke's already been made but I just switched on the TV)

were Maypole's group that famous over here? both a bit meh.
Air Fryer sounded like Dawn French's voice today and now I can't shake that image even though I know it isn't her, but my brain has latched onto it!

I try to avoid social media on this as i like guessing but I went on YouTube to rewatch a couple of songs and someone is insistently commenting on who they think Air Fryer is (not anyone I've ever heard of)

Bit annoying that Maypole is out as she's obviously the best singer left, still I wasn't aware of her before, only knew one of the Pussycat Dolls so guess that's been useful at least.

When they do the "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!" and there's a brief clip of Rita saying "I can't wait to find out who it is!" I feel a brief flush of disgust at myself for watching this show.

Bigfoot has to be stopped.

So obvious that Eiffel Tower was Tiffany and the judges had clearly decided they wouldn't name her, Jonathan Ross even going for Debbie Gibson smh.

I think stopping *spoiler person who we're all bored of now* is tricky because it's an audience vote and the new audience at each recording aren't tired of the schtick as it's new to them. I assume that's how the recording works? Also how did Lorraine not see any of her fellow contestants kicking around during recording, or we're meant to believe she didn't.

It's still a fun programme despite all its flaws and host and panellists though.

When Airfryer went out it was so obvious they had to tell Rita who it was and then feed her a line about how one of the clues worked into that person's identity so she could sound like she knew who it was.

Xpost they are all kept in isolation until showtime, at which point they are chaperoned amongst the other contestants

This is the first series where I haven't really cared much who anyone is. I think the previous ones there have all been ones I'm close to guessing or recognise the voice. It's less fun this time, and/ or there are more people I'm meh about.

fucks sake

I'm half watching the final while doing other things. I actually missed almost the first half an hour because I forgot it was on. I've never had much luck guessing who the singers are but it's not mattered to me really. I was enjoying the series but for some reason tonight I'm not entertained by a singing bigfoot or piranha.

Also it doesn't help that Joel is more annoying than usual.

xp Yeah me too. Though piranha is fine I guess. He's my son's favourite at least.

Probably a good move to cut out the "I can't wear this uniform / without some compromises" from Bigfoot's version of The One And Only.