BREAKING UP - this is the strangest breakup I ever had.

Mr. Clean Break, You should be careful not to put all of the work on her because - and I obviously don't know the situation so you can ignore me - it looks like just about all the solutions involve her doing something differently. Also, you really should have a big talk about the deeper problems you mentioned earlier. And - once again ignore me - maybe she felt unloved because you don't want to have kids with her? As though, if you really loved her, you would? I don't know. Things to (maybe) think about...

I only asked her to tell me when something's wrong instead of quietly simmering. That means, if I ask, "Is something wrong?" she can't respond with, "I'm fine" in a tone that means "fuck you." The rest is mutual "work". Neither of us has to do more than the other person.

My gf's 'silent treatment' is imperious but fair. If she doesn't want to talk about it, she tells me exactly that. When she does, we do. This works but it can be terrifying.