Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

These yearly threads don’t even cover a phenomenon that is even more weird (and weirdly dispiriting) to me, which is 10-40yo films rebooted as shows as the various streaming platforms desperately pan for content: exorcist, lethal weapon, rush hour, scream, get shorty... really feels like these things are selected by dartboard

― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, January 2, 2020 3:02 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I'd have to scan the last several years' lists to be certain but I think it's fair to say that I've enjoyed Cobra Kai more than 95% of the sequels/remakes/reboots released during the timeframe of its two seasons.

But yes, the trend is generally just as bad if not worse than its cinematic equivalent.

How does the new Ghostbusters movie look so unfun, even with Paul Rudd's involvement?? It's downright impressive

The new Mulan looks like it will have very little in common with the cartoon, stylistically

unlike the other cartoon remakes

you know what disappoints me about the Sonic movie is that the original game actually does have an environmentalist-themed plot which you'd think could be pretty relevant in 2020 but instead it's gonna be about a wisecrackin' blue alien with magic powers and in the end it'll be about the magic of friendship or some shit that completely ignores the fact that Sonic levels half a city in the film's climax

I like how off-the-wall some of these titles are if you don't know the original, e.g. Brahms: The Boy II, The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

― jmm, Thursday, January 2, 2020 10:34 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Brahms: The Boy II

I have no idea what this is, but I've decided it's a series of biopics that depicts the life story of the German composer with a Robert Caro like obsession with detail.

This is the thing I love about this yearly thread-- the ever-increasing spiral of inane & bizarre names for these half-baked film properties. The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard has a real "come the fuck on" quality to it.

What I'm dismayed about is the lack of shoehorning of the number 2 into any of these titles.

you missed Coming 2 America!

goddamn! so I did! horrible title, movie seems like an opportunity only for embarassment. Eddie was already a little long in the tooth the first time around.

The Ghostbusters trailer is so teal & orange that you'd think they were trying to bust the Miami Dolphins.

Bustin' makes me teal good.

You rule.

lmao

this thread finally got me to watch that trailer and wow what a product of cowardice and unearned nostalgia

but enough about jason reitman

Finally a Morbs biopic

I will see Fasts and the Furiouses 9 and 10 partly bc I love the series, and partly out of my deeply held hope that its all been leading up to them somehow going to space. they've raced cars on land, sea, and air, space is the only environment that remains unFurioused, it just makes sense

Given that Ghostbusters is one of my all-time favorites, you'd think that I might have at least one infinitesimally tiny wisp of interest in this new one, at least enough to check out the sequel. But, as it turns out...nope.

'enough to check out the trailer' rather

Genuinely looking forward to West Side Story

Having now seen the Dolittle trailer, I can't in good conscience vote for anything else.

Tentatively looking forward to Wonder Woman 1984 (Steve Trevor in a Members Only jacket?)

was it ever confirmed that there's a Russia/Cold War angle to that? cause if so I might have to change my vote

fingers crossed for a thatcher cameo, maybe an exchange of steely but loving nods

West Side Story is the one of these that I'll most likely end up seeing, though I don't have any real expectations for it.

Also, I can't guarantee I won't end up watching P.S. I Still Love you on Netflix, because there are far worse ways to fritter away two hours than looking at Noah Centineo.

xxpost Have been avoiding spoilers, so couldn't say. This past summer I was on a bus that went past the "reconstructed" Commander Salamander in Georgetown. That's how I found out they were shooting in and around DC.

Better a Thatcher cameo than a reenactment of Nancy Reagan going "Just say no."

ghostbusters for existing entirely to pander to the worst ppl on the internet

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, January 2, 2020 9:40 PM

Really? I'm pretty sure this one is going to piss them off too.

I saw most of the recent reboot on tv recently and it was only slightly better than the Starksy & Hutch reboot (not good at all). Either the ending is really brilliant or people couldn't bear admitting it wasn't good.

? I thought it was a big flop, quite aside from dumb culture war stuff

If Siskel & Ebert were still around, this would be every week's episode in 2020:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwSt66H-G04

Missing from the list: Downhill, a remake of Force Majeure starring Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY5SrKf_2ic

I hope Maverick dies in the first ten minutes of Top Gun and the rest is just Miles Teller trying to solve his murder

voted for fantasy island, because idk who is asking for it or what a good fantasy island movie could conceivably look like

Tattoo played by Cole Sprouse

I voted for Tom & Jerry. I haven't looked into it at all, but I assume it's shitty CGI and they probably make them talk and just, just Fuck off because the original cartoons are so perfect and filmed from an animal's/kid's eye view and such a dialectic between the tormented and the one who torments

Downhill, a remake of Force Majeure starring Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus

OK this is pissing me off so much right now. Fucking US remakes, fuuuuuuuck

Ugh. Saw that on the release schedule, but didn't bother to investigate what it is.

I wish I had picked this year to expand the poll to include series as well, if only so I could include Disney’s upcoming High School Musical: The Musical: The Series.

Such a depressingly dire pile of cinematic barf.

pls how do i vote for this?

Cinematic Barf 3 was the superior sequel

The new New Mutants trailer looks dope even though Roberto should be darker and Cecilia Reyes should be darker and not evil

I'd like New Mutants to be good as some of the casting is amazingly on-point but I don't have any reason to think it will be good.

I watched both Airplane! and Bill and Ted EA with my elementary-school + middle-school kids and they both died laughing. The jokes still hit (well, in Airplane! there are a lot of parodies of 70s stuff which are meaningless to kids but there are SO MANY jokes that the density of ones that hit still exceeds that of most contemporary comedies.)

I love the idea of revisiting Fantasy Island as horror and hope they do something interesting with it.

The trailer for the new Top Gun was so dire it made me wonder retrospectively whether it was a mistake to think of Tom Cruise as an actor who could carry an action movie.

He surely had the sway to jettison most of the tired baggage and turn this into a full-on McQuarrie 'not actually Mission: Impossible...but let's be honest, basically M:I in every way that counts' film. But instead he chose to give the director of Oblivion another shot.

There could be an entire season of On Cinema at the Cinema based on just this list. I can already hear Gregg Turkington lamenting the lack of Jack Nicholson in Impractical Jokers: The Movie.

The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard asks the question, 'Did you like The Hitman's Wife? Did you like The Bodyguard? Well, how about both of those worlds, on screen together.' And it really is the best of both worlds, although sadly they weren't able to get Whitney Houston to return to her role. This is the kind of cinematic mash-up I hope we see more of from Hollywood, and something film buffs have been clamoring for. Like many other Hobbit-heads, I know I'd like to see as many films as possible featuring my hero, Bilbo Baggins. So that's why I've started a petition for a crossover which is a remake of the first Christian Bale Batman movie, but better because it takes place in Middle Earth. Please go to the VFA website and add your signature to the growing list of people demanding Batman Baggins.

The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard is actually set in the same cinematic universe as The Wife, not to be a pedant about it

xp I give your post five bags of popcorn and a Whitney Houston cassette single.

The Hitman, The Thief, His Wife & Her Bodyguard

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/57/Hitman2_large.jpg/220px-Hitman2_large.jpg
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/Thief_1981.jpg
http://www.impawards.com/2018/posters/wife_ver6.jpg
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8f/The_Bodyguard_1992_Film_Poster.jpg/220px-The_Bodyguard_1992_Film_Poster.jpg

But which one of them eats a dead man's penis at the end, is the real question