Is this the first year without a star war since these threads started? That’s normally my default pick, dunno what to plump for now. Maybe 2020 golden bear winner birds of prey
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:36 (four years ago) link
bill and ted could be fun, i think. i'd probably see the bob's burgers movie tho i'm not sure why it needs to exist.
saw trailers for ghostbusters and peter rabbit the other day and couldn't decide which i hated more, ghostbusters for existing entirely to pander to the worst ppl on the internet or peter rabbit for pissing so obnoxiously all over the legacy of beatrix potter.
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:40 (four years ago) link
Brahms: The Boy II
I have no idea what this is, but I've decided it's a series of biopics that depicts the life story of the German composer with a Robert Caro like obsession with detail. This is actually the fourth Brahms film after Brahms: The Ancestors, Brahms: The Parents and Brahms: The Boy I. The big thing this time is Brahms learning to play the piano. It's four hours long, of course. And the hands of Brahms is portrayed by Hyung-ki Joo, who really has remarkably small hands.
Oh, and I voted for Dolittle.
― Frederik B, Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:44 (four years ago) link
i can't help but imagine "wonder woman 1984" as either a bizarro mashup where wonder woman visits the world of orwell's 1984 or a lame reboot from the actual year 1984, like "GODZILLA 1985."
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:53 (four years ago) link
Halloween Kills is setting the stage for Halloween Fucks
― jmm, Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:57 (four years ago) link
fuck off
Bad Boys for LifeFantasy IslandThe Purge 5Sonic the HedgehogMulanThe King's ManThe Invisible ManGhostbusters: AfterlifeDolittleBirds of PreyBlack WidowPeter Rabbit 2: The RunawayWonder Woman 1984The EternalsMorbiusGodzilla vs. KongVenom 2Scoob!Tom and Jerry
what is this shit
Escape Room 2Brahms: The Boy IIThe Hitman's Wife's BodyguardImpractical Jokers: The MovieP.S. I Still Love YouTrolls World Tour
don't give a shit
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do ItMinions: The Rise of GruA Quiet Place: Part IIBob's Burgers: The MovieThe SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the RunWest Side StoryThe Croods 2
hyped
Bill & Ted Face the Music - pro: great premise, Reeves has waited for the script to be right and is having a really solid run of choices rn, Winter has waited for the script to be right and is returning to acting especially for it, Parisot seems to be an ideal director for the property and especially a return decades later, and Solomon's work on Mosaic was really impressive. con: Now You See Me 1 was v stupid moderately hyped
n/a
loosies
Coming 2 America - never dug the first one or made it all the way through, had kids in the playground act out "the royal penis is clean" scene enough times to outweigh the running time though. Murphy is talking like this deserves to be his followup to Dolemite Is though, so for his sake I hope it works
Top Gun: Maverick - won't give money to someone who uses slave labour, especially while they are shilling for the US military, but have become fascinated by McQuarrie's work as a commercial story technician so will watch this on a TV set sometime, or buy a ticket to an indie and slip into the Maverick theater on a late screening
Fast & Furious 9 - the last two of these (inc Hobbs & Shaw) were very not-good but Justin Lin is back back BACK!!! baby, so my heart swells with optimism
Candyman - saw the original for the first time last Halloween, Peele seems the ideal producer for a reboot
Halloween Kills - just saw the first Hallogreen at Christmas. it's a really well-conceived 40-year-later sequel to a horror classic, and the centering of trauma is an important subject for such a project to take on. I can't see that TWO more back-to-back sequels aren't going to undermine that entirely, but on the other hand nearly everything else he & McBride write is good and I'm happy for the Jamieleenaissance
The New Mutants - I hope this stays on these threads every year forever
No Time to Die - the last one was the worst Bond movie ever, including the TV Casino Royale and the Woody Allen one, and replacing a new director & screenwriter with the guys that have written most of the bad ones for the last 20 years can't be a good move. however, Craig hiring Waller-Bridge for rewrites hopefully mitigates this slightly, and I expect to be able to read relief on his face that he can bugger off and make more Benoit Blanc mysteries.
additionally, I just started reading Donald Westlake's hefty novelisation of a Bond script he was commissioned to do in the '90s but wasn't used, and it appears to be about a billionaire taking advantage of a British regime change to fuck over a citizenry's lives, and deliberately accelerating climate change on the east coast of Australia to catastrophically destructive levels, so wheeeee
― don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:28 (four years ago) link
least promising is probably Mulan, bcz the CGI remakes of their previous animated output is somehow the most craven & repugnant & regressive of all Disney's output, across their mega-IP portfolios. but I don't know anything about the previous Mulan so it's not really a degradation.
― don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:32 (four years ago) link
These yearly threads don’t even cover a phenomenon that is even more weird (and weirdly dispiriting) to me, which is 10-40yo films rebooted as shows as the various streaming platforms desperately pan for content: exorcist, lethal weapon, rush hour, scream, get shorty... really feels like these things are selected by dartboard
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, January 2, 2020 3:02 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
I'd have to scan the last several years' lists to be certain but I think it's fair to say that I've enjoyed Cobra Kai more than 95% of the sequels/remakes/reboots released during the timeframe of its two seasons.
But yes, the trend is generally just as bad if not worse than its cinematic equivalent.
― Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:32 (four years ago) link
How does the new Ghostbusters movie look so unfun, even with Paul Rudd's involvement?? It's downright impressive
― Vinnie, Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:34 (four years ago) link
The new Mulan looks like it will have very little in common with the cartoon, stylistically
― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:36 (four years ago) link
unlike the other cartoon remakes
― don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:16 (four years ago) link
you know what disappoints me about the Sonic movie is that the original game actually does have an environmentalist-themed plot which you'd think could be pretty relevant in 2020 but instead it's gonna be about a wisecrackin' blue alien with magic powers and in the end it'll be about the magic of friendship or some shit that completely ignores the fact that Sonic levels half a city in the film's climax
― frogbs, Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:23 (four years ago) link
I like how off-the-wall some of these titles are if you don't know the original, e.g. Brahms: The Boy II, The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard― jmm, Thursday, January 2, 2020 10:34 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― jmm, Thursday, January 2, 2020 10:34 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Brahms: The Boy III have no idea what this is, but I've decided it's a series of biopics that depicts the life story of the German composer with a Robert Caro like obsession with detail.
I have no idea what this is, but I've decided it's a series of biopics that depicts the life story of the German composer with a Robert Caro like obsession with detail.
This is the thing I love about this yearly thread-- the ever-increasing spiral of inane & bizarre names for these half-baked film properties. The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard has a real "come the fuck on" quality to it.
What I'm dismayed about is the lack of shoehorning of the number 2 into any of these titles.
― the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:36 (four years ago) link
you missed Coming 2 America!
― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:37 (four years ago) link
goddamn! so I did! horrible title, movie seems like an opportunity only for embarassment. Eddie was already a little long in the tooth the first time around.
― the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:54 (four years ago) link
The Ghostbusters trailer is so teal & orange that you'd think they were trying to bust the Miami Dolphins.
― ☮️ (peace, man), Friday, 3 January 2020 15:28 (four years ago) link
Bustin' makes me teal good.
― Pete Swine Cave (Eliza D.), Friday, 3 January 2020 15:46 (four years ago) link
You rule.
― ☮️ (peace, man), Friday, 3 January 2020 15:47 (four years ago) link
lmao
― american bradass (BradNelson), Friday, 3 January 2020 15:49 (four years ago) link
this thread finally got me to watch that trailer and wow what a product of cowardice and unearned nostalgia
but enough about jason reitman
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Friday, 3 January 2020 15:52 (four years ago) link
Finally a Morbs biopic
― Kebabs Windsor (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 January 2020 15:53 (four years ago) link
I will see Fasts and the Furiouses 9 and 10 partly bc I love the series, and partly out of my deeply held hope that its all been leading up to them somehow going to space. they've raced cars on land, sea, and air, space is the only environment that remains unFurioused, it just makes sense
― warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Friday, 3 January 2020 16:02 (four years ago) link
Given that Ghostbusters is one of my all-time favorites, you'd think that I might have at least one infinitesimally tiny wisp of interest in this new one, at least enough to check out the sequel. But, as it turns out...nope.
― Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Friday, 3 January 2020 16:03 (four years ago) link
'enough to check out the trailer' rather
― Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Friday, 3 January 2020 16:04 (four years ago) link
Genuinely looking forward to West Side Story
― Kebabs Windsor (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 January 2020 16:05 (four years ago) link
Having now seen the Dolittle trailer, I can't in good conscience vote for anything else.
― jmm, Friday, 3 January 2020 16:13 (four years ago) link
Tentatively looking forward to Wonder Woman 1984 (Steve Trevor in a Members Only jacket?)
― Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Friday, 3 January 2020 16:14 (four years ago) link
was it ever confirmed that there's a Russia/Cold War angle to that? cause if so I might have to change my vote
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Friday, 3 January 2020 16:17 (four years ago) link
fingers crossed for a thatcher cameo, maybe an exchange of steely but loving nods
― difficult listening hour, Friday, 3 January 2020 16:34 (four years ago) link
West Side Story is the one of these that I'll most likely end up seeing, though I don't have any real expectations for it.
Also, I can't guarantee I won't end up watching P.S. I Still Love you on Netflix, because there are far worse ways to fritter away two hours than looking at Noah Centineo.
― Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Friday, 3 January 2020 17:20 (four years ago) link
xxpost Have been avoiding spoilers, so couldn't say. This past summer I was on a bus that went past the "reconstructed" Commander Salamander in Georgetown. That's how I found out they were shooting in and around DC.
Better a Thatcher cameo than a reenactment of Nancy Reagan going "Just say no."
― Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Friday, 3 January 2020 17:21 (four years ago) link
ghostbusters for existing entirely to pander to the worst ppl on the internet
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, January 2, 2020 9:40 PM
Really? I'm pretty sure this one is going to piss them off too.
I saw most of the recent reboot on tv recently and it was only slightly better than the Starksy & Hutch reboot (not good at all). Either the ending is really brilliant or people couldn't bear admitting it wasn't good.
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Friday, 3 January 2020 19:29 (four years ago) link
? I thought it was a big flop, quite aside from dumb culture war stuff
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Friday, 3 January 2020 19:31 (four years ago) link
If Siskel & Ebert were still around, this would be every week's episode in 2020:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwSt66H-G04
― Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Saturday, 4 January 2020 17:45 (four years ago) link
Missing from the list: Downhill, a remake of Force Majeure starring Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus
― Andrew Farrell, Saturday, 4 January 2020 23:10 (four years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY5SrKf_2ic
― Andrew Farrell, Saturday, 4 January 2020 23:11 (four years ago) link
I hope Maverick dies in the first ten minutes of Top Gun and the rest is just Miles Teller trying to solve his murder
― papa stank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 4 January 2020 23:14 (four years ago) link
voted for fantasy island, because idk who is asking for it or what a good fantasy island movie could conceivably look like
― 525,600 gecs (voodoo chili), Saturday, 4 January 2020 23:23 (four years ago) link
Tattoo played by Cole Sprouse
― papa stank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 4 January 2020 23:28 (four years ago) link
I voted for Tom & Jerry. I haven't looked into it at all, but I assume it's shitty CGI and they probably make them talk and just, just Fuck off because the original cartoons are so perfect and filmed from an animal's/kid's eye view and such a dialectic between the tormented and the one who torments
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 4 January 2020 23:55 (four years ago) link
Downhill, a remake of Force Majeure starring Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus
OK this is pissing me off so much right now. Fucking US remakes, fuuuuuuuck
― Miami weisse (WmC), Sunday, 5 January 2020 00:17 (four years ago) link
Ugh. Saw that on the release schedule, but didn't bother to investigate what it is.
― Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Sunday, 5 January 2020 00:20 (four years ago) link
I wish I had picked this year to expand the poll to include series as well, if only so I could include Disney’s upcoming High School Musical: The Musical: The Series.
― Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Sunday, 5 January 2020 23:47 (four years ago) link
Such a depressingly dire pile of cinematic barf.
pls how do i vote for this?
― Ste, Monday, 6 January 2020 13:53 (four years ago) link
Cinematic Barf 3 was the superior sequel
― papa stank (Neanderthal), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:16 (four years ago) link
The new New Mutants trailer looks dope even though Roberto should be darker and Cecilia Reyes should be darker and not evil
― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:23 (four years ago) link
I'd like New Mutants to be good as some of the casting is amazingly on-point but I don't have any reason to think it will be good.
― Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:25 (four years ago) link
I watched both Airplane! and Bill and Ted EA with my elementary-school + middle-school kids and they both died laughing. The jokes still hit (well, in Airplane! there are a lot of parodies of 70s stuff which are meaningless to kids but there are SO MANY jokes that the density of ones that hit still exceeds that of most contemporary comedies.)
I love the idea of revisiting Fantasy Island as horror and hope they do something interesting with it.
The trailer for the new Top Gun was so dire it made me wonder retrospectively whether it was a mistake to think of Tom Cruise as an actor who could carry an action movie.
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:38 (four years ago) link
He surely had the sway to jettison most of the tired baggage and turn this into a full-on McQuarrie 'not actually Mission: Impossible...but let's be honest, basically M:I in every way that counts' film. But instead he chose to give the director of Oblivion another shot.
― Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:53 (four years ago) link