Now all entertainment is owned by like 3 companies maybe we could have a moratorium on all sequels/remakes/franchises every other year.
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:18 (four years ago) link
I saw a comedy double bill of Airplane 2 the sequel/Monty Python Holy Grail in 1986. When I was laughing at stuff I kept catching this ugly glaring spectre just out of my line of sight - it wuz me!
― calzino, Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:19 (four years ago) link
Wouldn't have thought Airplane/Police Squad/Top Secret et al would have aged particularly badly as the comedy is daft/silly rather than timely
― groovypanda, Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:24 (four years ago) link
Hot Shots! > Top Gun
― Number None, Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:26 (four years ago) link
I have very little memory of what happens in Airplane from my attempt to watch it but I do remember when we turned it off during a flashback(?) to a dance sequence(?) in a tropical locale(?), possibly before any airplanes had taken off
― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:27 (four years ago) link
my kids liked Airplane - they're still laughing at the "what's the vector victor"/"Roger Roger" exchanges
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:27 (four years ago) link
Sonic, probably. I don't care how much better they made him look, this is easy Razzie material. I'd much rather have a Mega Man movie.
Purge 5, because its politics are stupid and the movies are a damn drag
― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:28 (four years ago) link
Mulan may be great
Keep wanting to revisit the Naked Guns and then remembering that one cast member whose presence is likely to make revisitation much less fun.
― Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:29 (four years ago) link
The Doolittle "What a Wonderful World" cover is hilarious because it understands 0% of what made the tune great
― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:30 (four years ago) link
The last one, the only one I've seen, was good!
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:31 (four years ago) link
looking forward to Mulan's working in of PRC talking points about Uighurs and Hong Kong
― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:31 (four years ago) link
not that it'll be the worst, but I have no idea why they're bothering with another Green/McBride Halloween
― Number None, Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:32 (four years ago) link
The guitar smashing bit made me laugh, found the rest tedious as hell
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, January 2, 2020 8:12 PM (seventeen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
I don't remember much about Animal House, but Donald Sutherland sweater scene is all-time.
― ☮️ (peace, man), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:32 (four years ago) link
The third one was decent only because it embraced its stupidity up until the horrible ending.
The 2nd one was doodoo.
I stopped going
― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:32 (four years ago) link
Xxxpost. To what film? Ill never tell
You mean Simpson xp? idk I can still watch lost highway (& nordberg(?) is p hilarious in the few scenes he’s in iirc)God the Halloween reboot was so forgettable, it’s smash status is almost as baffling as it to me
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:33 (four years ago) link
the Mulan trailer played in front of Ip Man 4 and the title card blindsided me. So at least they're not Xeroxing the original for a change, I'll give 'em that.
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:33 (four years ago) link
Aw there's an Ip Man 4?
― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:35 (four years ago) link
there is! (it's fine)
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:36 (four years ago) link
I have no clue what the Impractical Jokers movie is even gonna be but if it's like the Jackass movies in that it's just a bigger & more explicit version of the show then it'll probably be pretty funny
― frogbs, Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:38 (four years ago) link
Airplane! is my favorite comedy film as well
― ciderpress, Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:51 (four years ago) link
this is honestly too hard
― bidenfan69420 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:52 (four years ago) link
My favorite comedy film is probably "A Hard Day's Night" but "Airplane!" is in the pantheon for me.
― Pete Swine Cave (Eliza D.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:55 (four years ago) link
I voted for The Conjuring 2: The Devil made Me Do It, in anticipation of it being 100% unwatchable, but among the big-studio huge-budget contenders I expect the Dr. Doolittle movie to be the most dreadful-per-dollar-spent.
― A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 2 January 2020 20:56 (four years ago) link
― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, January 2, 2020 1:27 PM (thirty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
silby! this is so goddamn early in the movie
― american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:00 (four years ago) link
It felt like years
― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:01 (four years ago) link
― Number None, Thursday, January 2, 2020 1:32 PM (twenty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
bc it made a ton of money
― american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:01 (four years ago) link
too bad as it's the worst possible use of both Green and McBride's time
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:02 (four years ago) link
These yearly threads don’t even cover a phenomenon that is even more weird (and weirdly dispiriting) to me, which is 10-40yo films rebooted as shows as the various streaming platforms desperately pan for content: exorcist, lethal weapon, rush hour, scream, get shorty... really feels like these things are selected by dartboard
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:02 (four years ago) link
i agree! the dgg halloween is a movie i like less the more i think about it. also the editing was godawful xp
― american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:03 (four years ago) link
Yeah - in my head I associate it with the it remake cause they were both instantly among the most successful horror films *ever* despite not being very good (and very similar faults: you can feel the 50 or so scripts badly stitched together over the years of development, way too long, whole characters just disappear from the film)
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:13 (four years ago) link
It's The Conjuring 3, keep up!
― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:21 (four years ago) link
No Time to Die wins my award for 'title that sounds the most like one of the fake movies from Seinfeld.' Runners up: P.S. I Still Love You and Halloween Kills.
― warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:24 (four years ago) link
Craig looks so fucking tired in the poster, like even more than usual
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:26 (four years ago) link
"I wish I had time to die"
― warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:27 (four years ago) link
Is this the first year without a star war since these threads started? That’s normally my default pick, dunno what to plump for now. Maybe 2020 golden bear winner birds of prey
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:36 (four years ago) link
bill and ted could be fun, i think. i'd probably see the bob's burgers movie tho i'm not sure why it needs to exist.
saw trailers for ghostbusters and peter rabbit the other day and couldn't decide which i hated more, ghostbusters for existing entirely to pander to the worst ppl on the internet or peter rabbit for pissing so obnoxiously all over the legacy of beatrix potter.
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:40 (four years ago) link
Brahms: The Boy II
I have no idea what this is, but I've decided it's a series of biopics that depicts the life story of the German composer with a Robert Caro like obsession with detail. This is actually the fourth Brahms film after Brahms: The Ancestors, Brahms: The Parents and Brahms: The Boy I. The big thing this time is Brahms learning to play the piano. It's four hours long, of course. And the hands of Brahms is portrayed by Hyung-ki Joo, who really has remarkably small hands.
Oh, and I voted for Dolittle.
― Frederik B, Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:44 (four years ago) link
i can't help but imagine "wonder woman 1984" as either a bizarro mashup where wonder woman visits the world of orwell's 1984 or a lame reboot from the actual year 1984, like "GODZILLA 1985."
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:53 (four years ago) link
Halloween Kills is setting the stage for Halloween Fucks
― jmm, Thursday, 2 January 2020 21:57 (four years ago) link
fuck off
Bad Boys for LifeFantasy IslandThe Purge 5Sonic the HedgehogMulanThe King's ManThe Invisible ManGhostbusters: AfterlifeDolittleBirds of PreyBlack WidowPeter Rabbit 2: The RunawayWonder Woman 1984The EternalsMorbiusGodzilla vs. KongVenom 2Scoob!Tom and Jerry
what is this shit
Escape Room 2Brahms: The Boy IIThe Hitman's Wife's BodyguardImpractical Jokers: The MovieP.S. I Still Love YouTrolls World Tour
don't give a shit
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do ItMinions: The Rise of GruA Quiet Place: Part IIBob's Burgers: The MovieThe SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the RunWest Side StoryThe Croods 2
hyped
Bill & Ted Face the Music - pro: great premise, Reeves has waited for the script to be right and is having a really solid run of choices rn, Winter has waited for the script to be right and is returning to acting especially for it, Parisot seems to be an ideal director for the property and especially a return decades later, and Solomon's work on Mosaic was really impressive. con: Now You See Me 1 was v stupid moderately hyped
n/a
loosies
Coming 2 America - never dug the first one or made it all the way through, had kids in the playground act out "the royal penis is clean" scene enough times to outweigh the running time though. Murphy is talking like this deserves to be his followup to Dolemite Is though, so for his sake I hope it works
Top Gun: Maverick - won't give money to someone who uses slave labour, especially while they are shilling for the US military, but have become fascinated by McQuarrie's work as a commercial story technician so will watch this on a TV set sometime, or buy a ticket to an indie and slip into the Maverick theater on a late screening
Fast & Furious 9 - the last two of these (inc Hobbs & Shaw) were very not-good but Justin Lin is back back BACK!!! baby, so my heart swells with optimism
Candyman - saw the original for the first time last Halloween, Peele seems the ideal producer for a reboot
Halloween Kills - just saw the first Hallogreen at Christmas. it's a really well-conceived 40-year-later sequel to a horror classic, and the centering of trauma is an important subject for such a project to take on. I can't see that TWO more back-to-back sequels aren't going to undermine that entirely, but on the other hand nearly everything else he & McBride write is good and I'm happy for the Jamieleenaissance
The New Mutants - I hope this stays on these threads every year forever
No Time to Die - the last one was the worst Bond movie ever, including the TV Casino Royale and the Woody Allen one, and replacing a new director & screenwriter with the guys that have written most of the bad ones for the last 20 years can't be a good move. however, Craig hiring Waller-Bridge for rewrites hopefully mitigates this slightly, and I expect to be able to read relief on his face that he can bugger off and make more Benoit Blanc mysteries.
additionally, I just started reading Donald Westlake's hefty novelisation of a Bond script he was commissioned to do in the '90s but wasn't used, and it appears to be about a billionaire taking advantage of a British regime change to fuck over a citizenry's lives, and deliberately accelerating climate change on the east coast of Australia to catastrophically destructive levels, so wheeeee
― don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:28 (four years ago) link
least promising is probably Mulan, bcz the CGI remakes of their previous animated output is somehow the most craven & repugnant & regressive of all Disney's output, across their mega-IP portfolios. but I don't know anything about the previous Mulan so it's not really a degradation.
― don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:32 (four years ago) link
― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, January 2, 2020 3:02 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
I'd have to scan the last several years' lists to be certain but I think it's fair to say that I've enjoyed Cobra Kai more than 95% of the sequels/remakes/reboots released during the timeframe of its two seasons.
But yes, the trend is generally just as bad if not worse than its cinematic equivalent.
― Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:32 (four years ago) link
How does the new Ghostbusters movie look so unfun, even with Paul Rudd's involvement?? It's downright impressive
― Vinnie, Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:34 (four years ago) link
The new Mulan looks like it will have very little in common with the cartoon, stylistically
― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Thursday, 2 January 2020 22:36 (four years ago) link
unlike the other cartoon remakes
― don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:16 (four years ago) link
you know what disappoints me about the Sonic movie is that the original game actually does have an environmentalist-themed plot which you'd think could be pretty relevant in 2020 but instead it's gonna be about a wisecrackin' blue alien with magic powers and in the end it'll be about the magic of friendship or some shit that completely ignores the fact that Sonic levels half a city in the film's climax
― frogbs, Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:23 (four years ago) link
I like how off-the-wall some of these titles are if you don't know the original, e.g. Brahms: The Boy II, The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard― jmm, Thursday, January 2, 2020 10:34 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― jmm, Thursday, January 2, 2020 10:34 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Brahms: The Boy III have no idea what this is, but I've decided it's a series of biopics that depicts the life story of the German composer with a Robert Caro like obsession with detail.
I have no idea what this is, but I've decided it's a series of biopics that depicts the life story of the German composer with a Robert Caro like obsession with detail.
This is the thing I love about this yearly thread-- the ever-increasing spiral of inane & bizarre names for these half-baked film properties. The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard has a real "come the fuck on" quality to it.
What I'm dismayed about is the lack of shoehorning of the number 2 into any of these titles.
― the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:36 (four years ago) link
you missed Coming 2 America!
― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 2 January 2020 23:37 (four years ago) link