Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

https://i.imgur.com/BsNxbK8.jpg

Brad how is it that Airplane made you laugh, I tried to watch it around age 19 and we turned it off because it was so bad, should I try again now that I'm old (30)?

― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, January 2, 2020 12:44 PM (twenty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

idk it's possible we have different senses of humor. the recurring "looks like i picked the wrong day to stop [x]" joke is the peak of all comedy for me

When I saw it I was 15 and the film itself was 20 years old, I thought it was hilarious

The other Komedy Klassik that left me completely utterly cold as a teenager was Animal House, what a turd

Oh I’m with you there

The guitar smashing bit made me laugh, found the rest tedious as hell

Now all entertainment is owned by like 3 companies maybe we could have a moratorium on all sequels/remakes/franchises every other year.

I saw a comedy double bill of Airplane 2 the sequel/Monty Python Holy Grail in 1986. When I was laughing at stuff I kept catching this ugly glaring spectre just out of my line of sight - it wuz me!

Wouldn't have thought Airplane/Police Squad/Top Secret et al would have aged particularly badly as the comedy is daft/silly rather than timely

Hot Shots! > Top Gun

I have very little memory of what happens in Airplane from my attempt to watch it but I do remember when we turned it off during a flashback(?) to a dance sequence(?) in a tropical locale(?), possibly before any airplanes had taken off

my kids liked Airplane - they're still laughing at the "what's the vector victor"/"Roger Roger" exchanges

Sonic, probably. I don't care how much better they made him look, this is easy Razzie material. I'd much rather have a Mega Man movie.

Purge 5, because its politics are stupid and the movies are a damn drag

Mulan may be great

Keep wanting to revisit the Naked Guns and then remembering that one cast member whose presence is likely to make revisitation much less fun.

The Doolittle "What a Wonderful World" cover is hilarious because it understands 0% of what made the tune great

Purge 5, because its politics are stupid and the movies are a damn drag

The last one, the only one I've seen, was good!

looking forward to Mulan's working in of PRC talking points about Uighurs and Hong Kong

not that it'll be the worst, but I have no idea why they're bothering with another Green/McBride Halloween

The guitar smashing bit made me laugh, found the rest tedious as hell

― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, January 2, 2020 8:12 PM (seventeen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I don't remember much about Animal House, but Donald Sutherland sweater scene is all-time.

The third one was decent only because it embraced its stupidity up until the horrible ending.

The 2nd one was doodoo.

I stopped going

Xxxpost. To what film? Ill never tell

You mean Simpson xp? idk I can still watch lost highway (& nordberg(?) is p hilarious in the few scenes he’s in iirc)

God the Halloween reboot was so forgettable, it’s smash status is almost as baffling as it to me

the Mulan trailer played in front of Ip Man 4 and the title card blindsided me. So at least they're not Xeroxing the original for a change, I'll give 'em that.

Aw there's an Ip Man 4?

there is! (it's fine)

I have no clue what the Impractical Jokers movie is even gonna be but if it's like the Jackass movies in that it's just a bigger & more explicit version of the show then it'll probably be pretty funny

Airplane! is my favorite comedy film as well

this is honestly too hard

My favorite comedy film is probably "A Hard Day's Night" but "Airplane!" is in the pantheon for me.

I voted for The Conjuring 2: The Devil made Me Do It, in anticipation of it being 100% unwatchable, but among the big-studio huge-budget contenders I expect the Dr. Doolittle movie to be the most dreadful-per-dollar-spent.

I have very little memory of what happens in Airplane from my attempt to watch it but I do remember when we turned it off during a flashback(?) to a dance sequence(?) in a tropical locale(?), possibly before any airplanes had taken off

― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, January 2, 2020 1:27 PM (thirty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

silby! this is so goddamn early in the movie

It felt like years

not that it'll be the worst, but I have no idea why they're bothering with another Green/McBride Halloween

― Number None, Thursday, January 2, 2020 1:32 PM (twenty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

bc it made a ton of money

too bad as it's the worst possible use of both Green and McBride's time

These yearly threads don’t even cover a phenomenon that is even more weird (and weirdly dispiriting) to me, which is 10-40yo films rebooted as shows as the various streaming platforms desperately pan for content: exorcist, lethal weapon, rush hour, scream, get shorty... really feels like these things are selected by dartboard

i agree! the dgg halloween is a movie i like less the more i think about it. also the editing was godawful xp

Yeah - in my head I associate it with the it remake cause they were both instantly among the most successful horror films *ever* despite not being very good (and very similar faults: you can feel the 50 or so scripts badly stitched together over the years of development, way too long, whole characters just disappear from the film)

It's The Conjuring 3, keep up!

No Time to Die wins my award for 'title that sounds the most like one of the fake movies from Seinfeld.' Runners up: P.S. I Still Love You and Halloween Kills.

Craig looks so fucking tired in the poster, like even more than usual

"I wish I had time to die"

Is this the first year without a star war since these threads started? That’s normally my default pick, dunno what to plump for now. Maybe 2020 golden bear winner birds of prey

bill and ted could be fun, i think. i'd probably see the bob's burgers movie tho i'm not sure why it needs to exist.

saw trailers for ghostbusters and peter rabbit the other day and couldn't decide which i hated more, ghostbusters for existing entirely to pander to the worst ppl on the internet or peter rabbit for pissing so obnoxiously all over the legacy of beatrix potter.

Brahms: The Boy II

I have no idea what this is, but I've decided it's a series of biopics that depicts the life story of the German composer with a Robert Caro like obsession with detail. This is actually the fourth Brahms film after Brahms: The Ancestors, Brahms: The Parents and Brahms: The Boy I. The big thing this time is Brahms learning to play the piano. It's four hours long, of course. And the hands of Brahms is portrayed by Hyung-ki Joo, who really has remarkably small hands.

Oh, and I voted for Dolittle.

i can't help but imagine "wonder woman 1984" as either a bizarro mashup where wonder woman visits the world of orwell's 1984 or a lame reboot from the actual year 1984, like "GODZILLA 1985."

Halloween Kills is setting the stage for Halloween Fucks

fuck off

Bad Boys for Life
Fantasy Island
The Purge 5
Sonic the Hedgehog
Mulan
The King's Man
The Invisible Man
Ghostbusters: Afterlife
Dolittle
Birds of Prey
Black Widow
Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway
Wonder Woman 1984
The Eternals
Morbius
Godzilla vs. Kong
Venom 2
Scoob!
Tom and Jerry

what is this shit

Escape Room 2
Brahms: The Boy II
The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard
Impractical Jokers: The Movie
P.S. I Still Love You
Trolls World Tour

don't give a shit

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
Minions: The Rise of Gru
A Quiet Place: Part II
Bob's Burgers: The Movie
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run
West Side Story
The Croods 2

hyped

Bill & Ted Face the Music
- pro: great premise, Reeves has waited for the script to be right and is having a really solid run of choices rn, Winter has waited for the script to be right and is returning to acting especially for it, Parisot seems to be an ideal director for the property and especially a return decades later, and Solomon's work on Mosaic was really impressive. con: Now You See Me 1 was v stupid

moderately hyped

n/a

loosies

Coming 2 America
- never dug the first one or made it all the way through, had kids in the playground act out "the royal penis is clean" scene enough times to outweigh the running time though. Murphy is talking like this deserves to be his followup to Dolemite Is though, so for his sake I hope it works

Top Gun: Maverick
- won't give money to someone who uses slave labour, especially while they are shilling for the US military, but have become fascinated by McQuarrie's work as a commercial story technician so will watch this on a TV set sometime, or buy a ticket to an indie and slip into the Maverick theater on a late screening

Fast & Furious 9
- the last two of these (inc Hobbs & Shaw) were very not-good but Justin Lin is back back BACK!!! baby, so my heart swells with optimism

Candyman
- saw the original for the first time last Halloween, Peele seems the ideal producer for a reboot

Halloween Kills
- just saw the first Hallogreen at Christmas. it's a really well-conceived 40-year-later sequel to a horror classic, and the centering of trauma is an important subject for such a project to take on. I can't see that TWO more back-to-back sequels aren't going to undermine that entirely, but on the other hand nearly everything else he & McBride write is good and I'm happy for the Jamieleenaissance

The New Mutants
- I hope this stays on these threads every year forever

No Time to Die
- the last one was the worst Bond movie ever, including the TV Casino Royale and the Woody Allen one, and replacing a new director & screenwriter with the guys that have written most of the bad ones for the last 20 years can't be a good move. however, Craig hiring Waller-Bridge for rewrites hopefully mitigates this slightly, and I expect to be able to read relief on his face that he can bugger off and make more Benoit Blanc mysteries.

additionally, I just started reading Donald Westlake's hefty novelisation of a Bond script he was commissioned to do in the '90s but wasn't used, and it appears to be about a billionaire taking advantage of a British regime change to fuck over a citizenry's lives, and deliberately accelerating climate change on the east coast of Australia to catastrophically destructive levels, so wheeeee

least promising is probably Mulan, bcz the CGI remakes of their previous animated output is somehow the most craven & repugnant & regressive of all Disney's output, across their mega-IP portfolios. but I don't know anything about the previous Mulan so it's not really a degradation.

These yearly threads don’t even cover a phenomenon that is even more weird (and weirdly dispiriting) to me, which is 10-40yo films rebooted as shows as the various streaming platforms desperately pan for content: exorcist, lethal weapon, rush hour, scream, get shorty... really feels like these things are selected by dartboard

― Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, January 2, 2020 3:02 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I'd have to scan the last several years' lists to be certain but I think it's fair to say that I've enjoyed Cobra Kai more than 95% of the sequels/remakes/reboots released during the timeframe of its two seasons.

But yes, the trend is generally just as bad if not worse than its cinematic equivalent.