I SCORED A GOAL FFS

theyre the same boot

same size, same model, i measured the fuckin things toe to tip.

truly the game is played in our heads

so yesterday

we're 5-2 up, but one of our better players has done his back so we're 9 v 10. I'm having an unusually indifferent game in goal. itching for a go outfield but having to be restrained. pull off my best save in years and then don't come for the ensuing corner which gets bundled in from a yard. get chipped twice. I'm restless. suddenly its 5-5, a man down, and I've had enough. off come the gloves with a panto flourish. our captain and left-back is practically press-ganged into goal and I announce I will play down the left side which is poor code for up front. our midfielder who tbuf has done little all game whines that we're giving up the game (I was keeping like a fool, couldn't he see?) but he probably has a point

anyway, so my first two shots are duff but my third one, after a flowing team move down the right which I started, sails into the roof of the net, past the guy who's chipped me twice and whose turn it was to be in goal. and your hero is not done there - two minutes later I pull off a backheel assist for our striker to lash home the 7th and his 6th. oh yeah, he'd scored all 5 when I came outfield. didn't have a strike partner until then. I make some sort of aggressively wry rejoinder to the given up the game guy but I hardly have to really, the point has been made. it finishes 8-5

well that's that. you did hand in your notice and hung up yr boots straight after, right?

not hanging up anything. a glorious goalscoring career against a bunch of ageing music nerds awaits

fwiw I would now dispute the oft-repeated claim that 4-2 is the most embarrassing winning score

Wait you're not with the ageing music nerds? 'Backheel Assist' a Cardiacs deep cut, surely.

ageing music nerd on ageing music nerd action. every few months in regents park. always looking for new players. ability optional, attitude optional

timely revive

11 a side tonight for our lot, in five degree conditions

new boots clean?

had a horror show last thurs, confidence is low

back to the old identical pair it is then

i was shite all year in them, weve moved on and im not revisiting

lads it wasnt great it wasnt awful it got us out into a beautiful evening im giving it a C+

Won a frame 53-46 on a re-spotted black tonight ahhh yeah that’s the stuff

entirely approve of this flex

actually, as i have alluded elsewhere, we don't have any sports in our isolation chamber/flat except a carrom board so expect some I POCKETED THREE COINS IN A ROW action soon enough

Ha, yeah. Check mate in nine moves ffs!