Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Oh my boss goes hard out with this business and is v invested in it, she’s just not good at it

I know there are a myriad of reasons those businesses exist, especially ones that are very boutique and sell $$ over short periods to moneyed clients or are a hobby for a rich person, but my go-to thought is always money laundering

She could never work for anyone so she had to go into business for herself. She has a v scatterbrained approach to everything and constantly contradicts herself. The only reason she’s managed this long (apart from injecting more outside money into it every year) is bc we have little competition

I always think it's a money laundering front too. xpost

I always liked how Rice to Riches was set up to launder money and then it unexpectedly became a successful business. That was rice pudding was really good. I think there was a pizza place front in blyn too that unexpectedly became really popular too.

I did not know that about Rice to Riches.
Should've guessed something was dodgy; they serve COLD rice pudding.

I only like cold rice pudding!

cold rice pudding is extremely common ime

especially if not made at home, like nearly any Greek or Turkish or Lebanese takeaway place will have tubs of it in the drinks fridge to grab and go

I'm like 94% convinced that our CEO is some sort of warlock who feeds on the cognitive capacity of anyone who works for or with us. As if my dumb ass alone isn't evidence of that theory.

― i was so hungry that i ate a hole cake entirely to myself (Old Lunch)

on december 19, 2019, old lunch discovered the secret of capitalism

PLEASE stop your loud + impassioned discussion about the panoply of delicious foodstuffs on the McDonald's menu. PLEASE. Can you seriously not see my soul wrenching itself free from my body?

moving to a new even-more-open office next week— like i think we’re just sitting next to each other at tables or something

stoked for the intimacy

I hate it. I hate it so, so much. Like I don't care what point I am in the process, if I'm ever interviewing for a different job and discover that they've been infected with this open office insanity I am OUT.

And almost as if on cue, desk drumming begins from two rows behind me, with an unrestrained force + volume that might almost be comical under other circumstances.

How about instead of an open office we go for soundproofed cages. How about that.

don't move to the UK, pretty much all offices are open offices. I've never worked in one that wasn't. at my current job not even the CEO has their own office. they just sit at a bank of desks next to the one my team sits at

I'm sure there are more interactive work circumstances where such a layout is beneficial and makes sense but a workspace where people are largely just trying to concentrate on their own shit while contending with a smattering of hosebeasts with inadequate self-control is not among those circumstances.

I doubt it tbh. it's about cost-saving, not making work better. office space costs money

(Apologies, did not realize the antiquated slang term 'hosebeast' is apparently a gendered insult. Mine is an equal opportunity ire directed at anyone across the spectrum who logs into their work station and proceeds to behave as if they're at a foam party.)

Came in today to teach a 13 person class..five showed up. Seems six of the eight no-shows were pulled from the class (with nobody telling us), two that were terminated (with nobody telling us).

The only reason we had two classes today was because mine was supposed to have 13. We could have just folded this into one class.

So the class is now down to two people because they found out four of the six had already taken the class (how nobody figured this out before now is beyond me). Two is below the minimum requirements for a class.

The only reason I'm salty about it is it's 8 hours of talking, but if they'd told us in advance, we could have had one class and two of us could have shared it, giving me a break now and then.

Also who schedules training around New Years ffs

moving to a new even-more-open office next week — like i think we’re just sitting next to each other at tables or something

fucking loud in here, and not because anyone in particular is being loud, but just that there are so many people and so little to absorb the sound

at least there's free selzer on tap i guess

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FUCK OFF EPIC GAMES.

...sorry this was better for the missent email thread I guess lol

sending out emails with a Keep Calm and Carry On theme, what year is this?

where does neighboring co-worker refusing to use a mousepad rank on the list of crimes?

CLACK.... CLACK... CLAAAAACK

I don't think I've seen a mousepad in about 15 years, do they even exist any more??

Deicide sells one

I'm using a mousepad right now - its filthy

Someone was trimming their nails in a bathroom stall this morning. Whether fingers or toes, I couldn't say, but at this point I just assume whatever makes the least goddamn sense.

so ppl just scrape the mouse on their desks all day? what a world.

I actually use a little blackboard for a mousepad, and have a little tiny nail affixed to the bottom of my mouse. Works beautifully!

i have a mousepad with a picture of a puppy on it and i have a cordless mouse. much better mouse situation than in any of my previous jobs

These are only 8 euros!
https://www.seventhrecords.com/en/various-collectibles-37/magma-mouse-pad-1285.html

https://www.seventhrecords.com/en/upload/magma-rouge-noir-print-f54zty.jpg

sorry bit big there

I use the trackpad cos i have a lapper

Jesus Christ thats huge!

Thanks I use Extenz

lol, stop

Tho at first for some reason I thought it was the mark of the Empire from STar War

(Note: the following phenomenon mostly applies to outside parties rather than coworkers per se but, because these things often slip past coworkers unnoticed before they're routed to me, I am okay with implicating them.)

I never, ever thought I'd see the day that I'd encounter professional adults who lack awareness of the necessary components of a US postal address (i.e. those who fill out the address fields on a form and omit a street address, city, state, zip, or some combination of the above). Now I see that day on most days. And this post was, btw, prompted by encountering two instances of such within the past hour. Do these people receive mail ever? And if so, how?

super bizarre lol

These things come from enough different sources all across the country that I'm mostly convinced at this point that I'm just bearing witness to the degradation of the American mind in real time.

Okay, sorry, I was too hasty. Make that three instances.

Y'know, it's Friday, maybe I can just go for a drink or four and forget to come back.

If the zip's there you probably can leave out the city and state.

this is probably young people who genuinely aren't familiar with sending mail

maybe they aren't american?

Nah, these things are filled out or at least ostensibly vetted by professionals licensed and working in the US. Traumatic brain injury/liquefication is really the only acceptable explanation.

Can't bitch about my annoying co-worker on Facebook rn because of lol work filters but I finally acquired one a few months ago and boy howdy is she a one. Over ten years older than me yet has the mentality of a boy-crazy 15-year-old, total head in the clouds, monopolizes every conversation she's in, has little of consequence to discuss, etc. I'm the type of person who feels like the vast majority of people are intelligent in some way and have things to teach me, but the only thing this woman is teaching me is to value the other people in my life who ARE "intelligent in some way and have things to teach me". Also, she's bizarrely against progress, e.g. when I raved about the Impossible Whopper to my co-workers she immediately jumped in with, "I've got to have meat so I'm not getting anywhere near that!" Like, I'm an omnivore who couldn't give up my beef, poultry, and seafood, but holy fuck you (ESPECIALLY you, annoying co-worker) can lay off on the meat every now and again. Whew, feel better now having typed all that out.

Me: Dear person z who is assigned to manage outside party x, please add contact y in the system so that, in future, we are able to recognize that contact y is affiliated with outside party x. Here is the specific information identifying party x.'

(no response)

(new correspondence received from contact y)

Me: Dear person z, second request, see previous email below containing all the information you need.'

Person z: I am not assigned to party x.

Me: Hmmmm, interesting, the system shows that you actually had an on-site visit with party x two weeks ago.

Person z: Who even is party x, I don't see any information indicating who party x is, where am I, how do I make food go in tummy, so hungy.

Me: (copies and pastes information from initial request, highlights, blows up to 720pt flashing type, hits send, shoots self)

This is one of those things where I don't know if it's symptomatic of my particular workplace or if I've just worked here so long that I don't realize it's creeped into the culture-at-large, this thing where people will very confidently declare something that's just flat-out and demonstrably wrong without even bothering to spend .025 seconds beforehand to confirm before they make themselves look like utter dipshits. Or am I the dipshit for failing to realize that this (e.g. deflecting responsibility in hopes that people are so exasperated/exhausted that they eventually stop following up or badgering you) is just the new professionalism? That trying is just dumb and lame?