star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

I wonder if they'd have done this one the same way if McDiarmid had kicked it

ask the Ghosts of Peter Cushing and Carrie Fisher

exhuming someone to act as your Ultimate Baddie feels....different, somehow. But yeah you're probably right.

someone post spoilers. I'm unlikely to see this for several years, but want to know what happens

you can search for "star wars spoilers reddit", that's how I found 'em. ppl might not like just having them on here already in case they click on the wrong thread and find out Kylo Ren gets force-crucified by the ghost of Mace Windu

*SPOILER* Rey is half-Gungan

xp. thanks, I'm lazy

LOBOT becomes the new emperor, wild choice

OK, re-resolving to leave this thread alone

The really sad is I read these idiotic invented spoilers, and I'm guessing they're also references to last season of GoT?

Kylo Ren gets force-crucified by the ghost of Mace Windu

― Simon H., Wednesday, December 18, 2019 10:43 AM (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

put this vision on the big screen disney cowards

jedi instrumentality project when!!

As I said on the Grim Resignation thread I enjoyed this big, bloated finale. Felt the most like an old non-prequel Star Wars film to me out of the new three: weird races, weird places, silly names and epic Tolkein-y nonsense.
I'm cool with Chewie, 3PO and the remaining old characters given stuff to do as well.

sounds like there's plenty of palpy, which is good imo

I doubt I'll be watching this. Anyone cool die?

Lots of Pallpy. Even more stuff that never gets explained which is hilarous.

I doubt I'll be watching this. Anyone cool die?

― ☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, December 18, 2019 10:37 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

OBLIQUE BUT MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD

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the spoilers i read indicate that a major character (originating in this sequel trilogy) does die

snoke dies again

poopy palpy

So weird that they brought the Emperor back as a teenaged, incessantly-rapping version of himself called Palpy T. Even weirder how well it works!

Wellllll
My name is Palpy T and I'm here to say
I'll drop a Solo in your pit like my name was Weequay

I'm gettin' Palpy-tations

the dead speak!

Guys, lest we ever forget the magical moment when the world learned that Emperor Palpatine's long-hidden first name is

SHEEV

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/C5Wx5vT1npI/hqdefault.jpg

Sheev Mike

glad they finally worked an appearance from Darth Icky into the series given this was the last chance

You know Vader and Plagueis and Oppress
Sidious, Bane, Booger, Barf, Farts and Hopeless
But do you recall
A Darth even ickier than Maul?

Dammit, fucked up the meter of my stupid nerd joke song, shoot me now.

*blasts Sith lightning*

There were bits I liked in this but even with lowered expectations, it was a resounding meh. Better than TFA is a staggeringly low bar.

even the more positive takes I've seen generally allege that at least the first hour is a total mess (though a few say it recovers)

Also I saw this at the same cinema I watched TLJ, on the second opening night like I did for TLJ. Almost identical crowd - healthy proportion of dudes carrying lightsabers and wearing Vader helmets. The difference: loud applause for TLJ, dead silence this time around. Theatre full of SW nerds seemed genuinely confused.

I always thought the hate for TLJ among “fans” was overblown, this confirmed it for me.

Yeah, it's almost as if a certain kind of person cynically draped themselves in the finery of fandom as cover to express a certain kind of sentiment. No, I'm not a sewer-dwelling creep who helped drive Kelly Marie Tran off of twitter, I'm just an ardent faaaaaaan! It's just what we fans do.

this fuckin ruled

poe's "inspirational" half-time speech before the big assault the only serious misstep imo - stunk out the joint

for what it's worth I enjoyed this plenty, appreciated that TLJ hit a few unusually interesting notes but ultimately for Ep 9 of 9 I was happy enough to sit and have my star war feelings gently massaged for 2.5 hrs. watching it with kids definitely helps I think, they subject it to the level of critical scrutiny it deserves (ie not much). Daisy Ridley seemed to have remembered how to take this shit seriously (enough), wasn't really feeling her feeling it last time. new cast largely charming, old guys were fine. falcon return with "rag-tag fleet" pretty cool, "it's just... People" - very good! was pretty bored by the prospect of the emperor coming back but it worked fine I thought. Is this a baked-in problem with resurrected sf franchises, that they are unable to surpass the mythic potency of their original villains? Eg new doctor who still very reliant on daleks & other old monsters...

anyway I must write down my thoughts and ferlings now because I know I won't be able to remember a thing about it in one month's time.

even the more positive takes I've seen generally allege that at least the first hour is a total mess (though a few say it recovers)

I actually felt the opposite! The first half was great fun, second half was deflating.

Fuck it imma spoil away, there just didn’t feel like there was any stakes involved - I never felt for one moment like the heroes were ever going to be in real trouble or that Rey was going to go to the dark side or Kylo was going to die a villain. it was just so pleasantly safe.

Also, like Gwen Christie and Captain Phasma... I cant believe they cast an actress like Keri Russell and kept her under a helmet the entire time.

#justiceforgeneralhugs btw

yeah the first half of the final assault felt oddly underpowered and clunky

apart from that there were a zillion great moments

"friendship" theme firmly back in play

refreshing lack of suicides

extremely cool new ways for the force to work. lightsabre duel occurring in two different places simultaneously was amazing

CHEWIE GETS HIS MEDAL!! Right?? isn't that what that was??

girl on girl kissing after the victory! in your face fanbros!!

refreshing lack of suicides

One of the rebels (might even have been Poe, I can’t remember) making a snarky remark about Holdo’s heroic death in TLJ was unnecessarily petty though. I hated that too - the nagging feeling that this movie just wanted to shit on everything that was supposedly wrong with Ep 8.

girl on girl kissing after the victory! in your face fanbros!!

I keep hearing this is like 1.5 seconds and in the background

Loved the completely batshit quicksand > conveniently fall into cave they needed to be at >> giant hurt snake sequence. The movie is full of so much goofy "wait! what the ?" space opera shit I dig it even more as I think back.

^^^hi dere, I live in a conservative Muslim country and the gay scene was cut entirely and nothing was missed. Having actually well developed queer characters would just be way too much for this franchise.

xpost

Oscar Isaac has complained about their unwillingness to "go there" pretty openly.

Knights Of Ren... pop up for no conceivable reason and...do less than a few stormtroopers lol

“Loved the completely batshit quicksand > conveniently fall into cave they needed to be at >> giant hurt snake sequence. The movie is full of so much goofy "wait! what the ?" space opera shit I dig it even more as I think back.”

This scene was good though I agree. Loved that whole planet pretty much. And the water planet too.

Heard some folks groan loudly at the kiss. And I'm in Amsterdam!!

And I flashed back to seeing TLJ in Stamford, CT and some folks harrumphing at Finn and Rose's kiss then. People suck.

tbh it surprises me that fanboy nerd scum have difficulty appreciating images of girl-on-girl sexuality

I ended up watching Rise of Skywalker and re-watching the rest of the sequel trilogy because my kid got into it. TLJ was better than I remembered and ROS was really entertaining. All three of them are far from perfect, but I'm not going to spend my time searching for plot holes or anything.

searching!

searching!

my fuckin telly was swallowed by a fuckin plot hole when put this on

you know i couldn't hit it sideways

just like sister rey said

Can't believe that cavalry charge on the Star Destroyer worked. The ship could have just tipped over slightly and dumped them off!

simplest debunking, good one

finn was using the force to keep it level

you need balance in the force

It took me 5 nights to finish ep ix, but alas I am done with this garbage franchise for good. What a waste of fucking time.

Old news to everyone by now, but this was not good. Even my husband, by far the bigger SW fan of the two of us, confessed to being bored. Abrams directs the whole thing like its one of those garbage SCI-Fi channel movies, while Ford, Hamill, and Williams play their scenes like they're doing walk-ons on Carson's Tonight Show. I'm even kinda rethinking my (admittedly mild) affection for the previous two entries in this trilogy now.

I want that sweet red shirt/black cloak that Palpatine had, though

I watched this last night. It was bad. So many mythos gripes but my main one is the faceless hordes of Sith acolytes (theres only two siths at a time in the previous films) who are also the greatest star destroyer builders in the history of the galaxy

Jedi powers are so extensive in this trilogy.

there are two sith lords at at a time, there were often a shitload of acolytes in old star wars lore

pretty sure it's not a thing now, but there was originally a race of sith, like an entire planet of em

the thing that bugged me was that they decided instead of figuring out what the giant coliseum of sith would look like, they just put vague cloaks everywhere

Yeah I mean the ancient sith lore stuff is fine i guess but where did the emperor rustle up these multitudes? he didnt have any sith acolytes when he was emperor of the galaxy as far as we know

he had those three or four creepy silent dudes behind him in return of the jedi

Tag yourself I'm Janus Greejatus pic.twitter.com/unRVEefeoD

— Jeffrey Rowland (@wigu) December 28, 2018

posse photo

Always got strong Perry Farrell vibes from that guy on the right.

one of the funniest things about Star Wars lore is that costume and set designers would come up with all kinds of cool stuff, and at some point someone would want to make a trading card or short story about a background character

if George Lucas was around, they'd ask him. the answers would depend on how sleep-deprived he was

anything that's simple like "that's Bob, he drives a y-wing" would be when he was tired, but if he had a good night's rest, it'd be "yes that's Ookano Labooga, he carves flutes out of petrified Lotharian swampweasels"

I mean, I'd be petrified too!

https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/tmb-sq_character-fozzie-bear_launch_2dc6bf1d.jpeg

There are so many stupid plot holes and decisions in this entire trilogy, but I still think (with a few def plodding twists in each of the three) they are 10x more fun than anything in Eps I-III. That's really all I ask, a few moments where my inner 8 year-old absolutely geeks out on something like the shot of all those Sith Star Destroyers amassed. Does it become absolutely stupid if I stop to consider where these are all coming from, how they are staffed and built? Absolutely. But they look menacing and awesome.

Not going to really defend these movies, because I am well aware of the many flaws and don't begrudge others a bit for disliking them. Having been able to watch these with, and through the eyes of, my son probably makes me a lot kinder than I might otherwise have been.

I need to see this again. It was fun the first time, but seeing how hated it is makes me doubt my own senses.

it's big and dumb and doesn't do much with characters that should have had more going on

but, there are a lot of beautifully constructed scenes where people do odd things!

I don't recall anything beautiful in ix besides oscar isaac

https://media1.giphy.com/media/LHrY3Xv2fKaKQ/giphy.gif

watched this for first time. the ghost of luke is semi transparent, you can see the background through him. he crosses in front of rey and you can *still* see the background through him...