Favorite lines from Seinfeld?

Jerry: Hey, Puddy's here
Elaine: My Puddy? But we broke up?
Jerry: And yet he continues to live

From The Little Jerry:

GEORGE (sadly): It's over, Jerry. She's gettin' out.
JERRY: Ah, I'm so sorry.
GEORGE: She's been locked up for two years. She's gonna want to make up for lost time. Dinners. Movies. <Rubs his forehead.> Talking...
JERRY: In other words, a normal relationship.
GEORGE: And that's no good. I've tried it straight, Jerry. We've all seen the results. For me, sick is the only way to go.
JERRY: Well, she'll still be an ex-con.
GEORGE: It's not the same.
JERRY: Hey, if you two are meant to be together...I'm sure the cops'll pick her up on something.

I just wrote this on the 'king of research' thread:

Hey here's the final question.

In the film 'City Slickers', there's a guy who looks like Newman (from Seinfeld)

What's the episode where he's in Seinfeld and light is made of his resemblance to Newman?

― ambience chaser (S-), Friday, 19 June 2009 14:46 (4 days ago) Permalink

"The Big Salad"

― Bianca Jagger (jaymc), Friday, 19 June 2009 14:54 (4 days ago)

and JAYMC IS WRONG!

Can anybody help me?

label maker?

a total guess btw, just because newman features in it as one of the other superbowl ticket holders.

nah, watched that recently also. Perhaps it never occurred? Is there any episode with a Newman lookalike?

i must admit, i've watched Seinfeld so many times and don't recall anything on this. There's bizarro jerry episode with the bizarro newman.

what's the guys name in city slicker anyway ?

also, there's the Bottle Deposit episode where Newman finds himself at the farm house. When he leaves the woman shouts out "i love you Norman"

wasn't there an animal called Norman in City Slickers

Yeah I know, reeeeach.

celebrate the Neumanium!

You can watch most of the show here: http://tv.blinkx.com/show/seinfeld/gJRwRbfED2DPE4RN and it is indeed a wild ride!

The one where Kramer is a communist Santa Claus is a very funny episode with a feel-good ending.

this is bizarro Newman: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0489052/

have no idea who from City Slickers looked like Newman...thought maybe one of the Ben & Jerry-type characters but neither of them were on Seinfeld.

Josh Mostel

it's like the hundredth time i've caught this episode (or parts of it) and it was the first time i noticed that during the final bit, when the bizarro men, kevin, gene, and feldman are having a group hug, kevin says "me so happy, me could cry." like bizarro superman!

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, December 23, 2005 12:51 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol i just came here to post "me so happy, me want to cry." that line always gets stuck in my head.

What's weird is that these lines, when I read them, all sound pretty funny, but when I actually watch the show I don't laugh.

Seinfeld lines/references that you didn't get as a kid but now understand. I watched the show from a young age and there are often some pretty highbrow/obscure references, but most of the ones I didn't get aren't so highbrow, but rather outdated/NY-based/Jewish stuff that was unknown to me growing up in Northern CA...

― DJ Mr. Face Stabba, M.D. (Whitey on the Moon), Thursday, May 14, 2009 5:19 PM (3 months ago)

In the episode where George doesn't want to give susan his atm code, first off I had never heard of BOSCO but they explained it. But more importantly, what kind of a bank card has words insted of a 4 digit pin?

*passwords that is

"The Rogue's Wallet. That's where he kept his card, his dirty little secret. Short, devious, balding. His name was Costanza. He killed my mother."

George, George, this is a little bit too much for me, escaped convicts, fugitive sex...I got a cockfight to focus on.

Just the way Robert Wagner says "Hey Kramer" when he passes him at Mickey's wedding (the anti-dentite episode). I have no idea why. If the laugh track's legitimate, it seems to have cracked up the audience, too.

"all i want is my seventy-five cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired."

one of my favourite observations from Seinfeld was his office colleagues greetings bit, and how after you've greeted the same person several times in one day you're eventually running out of ways of saying hello, so you end up greeting them with funny nicknames.

It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife, the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sunup. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted chambray nightshirts.

GEORGE: I know. I can tell. It's one of my powers. Why, did you ever fake?

ELAINE: Of course.

JERRY: Really?

GEORGE: You faked?

ELAINE: On occasion.

JERRY: And the guy never knows?

ELAINE: No.

JERRY: How can he not know that?

ELAINE: Because I was gooood.

JERRY: I guess after that many beers he's probably a little groggy anyway.

(Jerry and George laugh)

ELAINE: You didn't know.

^^^ last one is the single best line reading on the show

"The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony!"

Well let's start the insanity.

"Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI Long Distance service?"
"Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later."
"Uh, sorry, we're not allowed to do that."
"Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home."
"No."
"Well, now you know how I feel."

lol @ tmi long distance!

"I think that milk's gone bad"
"I don't care."

[Kramer and Jerry discussing whether their accountant is using drugs]

Jerry: Look, it doesn't necessarily mean anything yet, it just means he was sniffing.
Kramer: Well, what else? Was he nervous? Did he use a lot of slang? Did he use the word 'man'?
Jerry: No, he didn't use 'man'.
Kramer: I mean when he was leaving did he say "I'm splittin' "?
Jerry: No, but at one point he did use the bathroom.
Kramer [freaks out]: Whoh!

It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife, the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sunup. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted chambray nightshirts.

♥

George trying to be funny:
"Toasting makes me uncomfortable. But toast, I love. Never start the
day without a good piece of toast. In fact, let's toast to toast."

lol

"And it's called the World Wide Web, you can email anybody!"
"What are you a scientist?"

"so attractive one day, not attractive the next?"
"yeah, have you come across this?"
"I'm familiar with this syndrome. She's a two-face"
"Like the batman villain?"
"If that helps you"

"Stop crying and fight yer father"

Jerry: No, but at one point he did use the bathroom.
Kramer [freaks out]: Whoh!

newman: SOUTH AMERICA? what kind of snowblower'd you get us mixed up with?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz0jkktVfJ8

Man: Excuse me. Would you mind watching my bag for a minute?

George: Yeah. No problem.

Jerry: Let's go.

George: Woah, I gotta watch this guy's bag.

Jerry: For how long?

George: I'm sure he'll be back in a second.

Jerry: Come on.

George: Excuse me sir. Would you mind watching my bag for a minute?

Man 2: Why? So I can stand here like an idiot not knowing if you'll ever come back?

Jerry starts to leave.

George: Where are you going?

Jerry: I'm going to be this guy's friend.

ojo otm

starting at about 1:30 in, once jerry gets off the phone (it's the "he took it out" bit)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f57YDEsyNSc

"oh it be..." love that scene

tippytoe

I was handcuffed to the bed, in my underwear, where I remained... She certainly seemed interested in me and though she was attractive, she was also in fact, a Nazi... The water I had been swimming in was very cold, and when I dropped the towel there had been significant shrinkage... Her parents were looking at me. So there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole.

In closing, these stories have not been embellished because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man. Thank you.

Oh, also: my fiancée died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. Thanks again.

The whole scene with Jerry in the confession booth, which unfortunately i couldn't find full on YT sorry.
And the end part with George appearing through the curtain

"That what you had to tell me? Your father wears sneakers in the pool?"

xp - that's one of my favorite scenes, particularly the part with George where he says something like "I had a feeling you'd be here"

I always had a soft spot for "The Library", especially everything that Lt. Bookman says:

"Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again."

George just appears through the confession booth curtain and asks jerry a random question. It was a follow on gag from a previous scene in the same episode where George just randomly appears whilst Jerry is sat in the dentist chair.

personally I loved when the show started getting all weird and meta

The whole scene where George and Jerry "meet" each other after x number of years, so George can confirm that Jerry didn't get a head start in The
Big Race. Their whole exchange, from Jerry pretending not to recognize George, to their jabs at each other ("Boy, you really went bald there," "Do you do a lot of that 'Did you ever notice' stuff?") kills me.