star wars 9 grim resignation thread

Canby otm in those quotes, fair play to the lad

Having just recently rewatched these with my super-fan 7-yr old son, I can confidently rank them as follows:

New Hope >> Empire Strikes Back >>> Return of the Jedi >>>>>> Force Awakens >> Attack of the Clones > Phantom Menace >>> Revenge of the Sith

Still need to see Last Jedi.

xpost Tbf he might be right that the Empire has no plot.

it has a series of b-plots! the a-plot is unresolved, in that it is rebels fleeing from one base to another and they end up back en route (and presumably uninterrupted) in the last scene

an arc replicated by Last Jedi, in its middle-of-trilogy position

Im always surprised so many people rank ROTJ (which is very exciting & fun imo) so far below ANH, a film which which features multiple discussions of moisture farming.

you need to rewatch that one, apparently!

I appreciate the princess code-switching more with age. Imperial senate affectations when bargaining about diplomatic evidence right into “aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” when getting down and dirty

finales are always kind of a letdown because after years and years of looking like the protagonists have no way to win, they abruptly find a way to win and the chase is over.

plus fuck an Ewok

No thanks

oh relax they got their shots

Yub nub

o. nate’s ranking largely OTM!

the rumors are... Wicket is back, baby!

I think it’s probably just Warwick Davis in another role but... EWOKS ARE IN

o. nate's ratings are pretty close to mine, maybe switch Empire and Star Wars. I like The Force Awakens a lot more than most of you. I'm a sucker for the fan service and I thought the new characters had great energy and chemistry. I also really don't enjoy TLJ. Outside of the Rey/Luke/Kylo stuff, it's pretty terrible. ROTJ is hammy, but the appearance of badass Luke at Jabba's palace was exactly what I wanted to see as a kid. I have a lot of unearned affection for AOTC. It's fairly bad, but has lots of cool visuals and set pieces, and from the gladiator scene to the end it's one inventive battle after another. ROTS is truly the pits, easily my least favorite overall.

ESB >> ANH >> TLJ >> Rogue One >>> Force Awakens >>>>>>>>> Revenge of the Sith >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Attack of the Clones >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Caligula >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Phantom Menace

ROTS is truly the pits, easily my least favorite overall.

Yes! I feel so seen right now... LOL

just realized I left Return of the JEdi off completely. Uhhhh.....idk, below TFA and Sith?

who the fuck cares.

actually I am pretending I haven't seen it.

what is an Ewok

I'm not down on Jedi like some are. like ok the Ewoks suck but there is a fairly badass battle sequence in there. and the opening is...

wait, forgot, haven't seen it

I actually like TFA a lot myself... the first time seeing it, I came away mainly disappointed by all the slavish repetition of plot elements; but in my 2nd (and 3rd) viewings, I could appreciate it a lot more. I think it’s really “well-directed” movie, despite some flaws. The scene where Rylo confronts Han, as the other characters watch from the light streaming down behind them, is beautiful.

uh I guess the dude’s name is “Kylo,” lol

Rilo Kiley is the baddest bitch in SW

ROTJ has a bunch of good scenes, some even funny

The dumber Ewok content gets a balance with the entire “tell them you’re a god!” moment

canby in rare form there. 'as sexlessly pretty as the base of a porcelain lamp' indeed. just realised - is this what anthony lane keeps shooting for?

anthony lane keeps shooting for elastigirl iirc

maybe I just accepted everything bc I saw it as a kid, but tbh I never even really understood the Ewok hate. Like the main characters include yoda the magic elf and a giant talking dogman but ppl are like “no these ewoks are a step too far, do they think we’re idiots!?”

TBH, the Ewoks don't even factor into my general ROTJ disfavor. I just think it's pretty rickety overall, kind of a victim of sequel-itis. No one is going to take me at all seriously after I make this point (in the way that you all have previously) but the first two Police Academy movies are kinda fun and funny in a garbage-y sorta way and they have their own thing going on, and then the third is just this tired pile of bloat with recycled jokes from the earlier installments and half-drawn characters from the earlier installments (look, I'm not pretending it's high art) turning into full-blown caricatures who spout catchphrases instead of trading dialogue. That's what ROTJ feels like to me. Water treading.

the moment when ROTJ falls apart for me is when Luke and Vader just take a bit of a stroll and chat about the dark side, etc. Until that moment Vader had meant total danger, high alert, kill or be killed. It all dissipates.

My Dinner with Darth

That, but not the scene where he reaches out to Luke at the end of Empire?

Or when they tenderly hug after the space battle in ANH?

when he “reaches out” to Luke is probably the most blistering scene in the entire set of movies - Luke’s had his hand cut off, is rage-crying in shock and fear

i liked Star Wars a lot more before the internet.

The hippyish idea that being open to the darkside must mean being open to the light, that even this (amazingly well built-up) terrifying threat is open to change if approached correctly, is pretty crucial to the Trilogy imo - it's not a flaw.

struggling to think of anything i didn't like a lot more before the internet tbh

Without the internet, I might never have known that unqualified enjoyment of anything is bad + wrong.

this is why I'm not an old millenial -- I existed for quite a while before the internet but I didn't like any of it

reality is shit and cyberspace is god imo

mh irl

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fconsequenceofsound.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F12%2Flawnmower-man.jpeg%3Fquality%3D80&f=1&nofb=1

https://brightcove04pmdo-a.akamaihd.net/4221396001/4221396001_4833789140001_4833724315001-vs.jpg

Is that footage from the birth of BB8?

it would not at all surprise you to know that I taped The Lawnmower Man off tv and rewatched it a number of times

Even as a stupid young teen I regretted spending my $4 or whatever on that matinee

I would hazard a guess that it's one of those movies that is helped by commercial breaks

well this bodes well

Poor The Last Jedi pic.twitter.com/wWcUxNzIio

— 🎅, fka ☕️ (@coopercooperco) December 11, 2019

(quotes from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/11/movies/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-jj-abrams.html)

tru

beyond that, it’s insane that none of these folks ever acknowledge that Abrams was the one who handed Johnson an ep 8 with every character scattered to the winds and a Luke Skywalker who had retired in shame and fled into hiding https://t.co/3O8bDXyQZr

— David Sims (@davidlsims) December 11, 2019

was thinking the other day that almost everything i dislike about the last jedi is a result of the corner kasdan/abrams wrote things into for force awakens

still glad snoke is dead

I guess I'm gonna have to rewatch these things before seeing the new ones. I can maybe remember a half dozen elements from each that I can distinguish as belonging to that specific movie but otherwise both sequels kinda blur into one another in my mind. I have no recollection of how the last one ended aside from that lightsaber duel. I mean, I just sat here for a minute trying to remember which one Mads was in before realizing it was neither. Guess I also gotta turn in my fan club badge now, huh.

this all reinforces my longstanding sense that the RJ trilogy isn't really going to happen

Crazy idea, I know, but maybe they could try a few solo outings (not of the Han variety, natch) set in the SW universe to see if one in particular resonated with the public before going all-in on an entire trilogy.

Why would you make a Rian Johnson trilogy, when you have Benioff and Wise ready to recreate that Game of Thrones magic?