Joe Biden, Senator from Citibank (oops, DELAWARE), to Run for President

he and mitch mcconnell are TIGHT

Yeah, Joe would be calling Mitch from the Oval Office about Mitch torpedoing every single bill that came from the House, and Mitch would always be telling him, "Gee, Joe, you know I hate to do this to you, but I have to. That's politics for you." And Joe would always be answering, " That's OK, Mitch. I understand. Do what you gotta. So, how's the wife?"

hey Mitch, some enviros are on my back because I don't care about getting rid of fracking because i'm going to be dead soon anyway. can you just shut the door on that whole deal so i can say i tried?

Gee, Joe, you know I hate to do this to you, but I have to. That's politics for you.

thanks Mitch. i tried to put both of my hands on their shoulders as i told them no, but it didn't work. i love you

how many times in the last month has biden publicly told someone to vote for another candidate

*puts hands on both of your shoulders*

look at my record

this is kind of weird but i thought of a good VR idea - find a POV picture of joe biden holding both of your shoulders and looking into your eyes while lying. that's the VR experience, but when you agree with what he says, the background slowly morphs into a ballroom. the more you agree with him, the more you find yourself slowly waltzing around a ballroom in 1972

everything is fine, and a one, two, three, everything's fine, and-a two, two, three, look at my ♩ ♪ recoooooord ♫ and-a three, two, three, ♫ loooooook into these biden eyeeeees ♫, last time-a four, two, three..

my eyes tunred "Poser (Karl" into "President Keyes" and i was like this is weird, these are really good Karl Malone posts

FALSE: there are only 3 good karl malone posts, and they all happened before 2013

hey he John Kerry's endorsement today!

I can't decide what that says about Warren. Or Kerry.

how many times in the last month has biden publicly told someone to vote for another candidate

― gbx, Friday, December 6, 2019 11:43 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Joe Biden otm

hey he John Kerry's endorsement today!

I can't decide what that says about Warren. Or Kerry.

― Joe Gargan (dandydonweiner), Friday, December 6, 2019 12:41 PM (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Bros before Massholes.

Biden’s strategy of telling people to fuck off seems like something that would have been a bigger deal before Trump

Examining the full exchange and especially what the old Iowa guy said, Biden's urge to slap the guy silly must have been overwhelming.

brave

https://66.media.tumblr.com/6a45e12b3174e8cdad7fdfaf26699138/ccb16e60a6642cfe-a7/s1280x1920/3175f8f9325b4768e5bf9ccba0404cc40f78b820.jpg

This guy isn't dead yet?

shh!

how would we tell?

Joe Biden, five years before invasion, said the Senate needed to “come to our milk” and make a decision on war with Iraq, and the only way of disarming the country is "taking Saddam down" https://t.co/LZBjtyHinr

— Ryan Grim (@ryangrim) January 7, 2020

"come to our milk"?

it's a leg-hair thing, you don't want to know

Here’s Joe Biden on the Senate Floor bragging about all the times he’s tried to cut Social Security. pic.twitter.com/t0RNDFFN9L

— Every Billionaire Is A Policy Failure (@DanRiffle) January 15, 2020

icymi

https://www.marijuanamoment.net/joe-biden-again-says-no-to-marijuana-legalization-without-more-studies/

uncanny

Biden-voice iPhone hack: type “Ok Mack” and then let the middle predictive text button do the rest pic.twitter.com/NGQnLWYq3k

— Colm Quinn (@colmfquinn) January 23, 2020

I just want a darraghmac voice hack. LADS

booga booga

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/biden-iran-mailer-fearmongering_n_5e273faac5b673621f7cfa3f

lol he can't even wait for the general election to roll this shit out

genuinely unsettling

Joe Biden's Instagram Stories are next level stuff. pic.twitter.com/JGbOYS4USp

— Florian 🥁 🕶️ (@BetaODork) January 25, 2020

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EPKs4K0UUAA2P_p?format=jpg&name=900x900

BREAKING: 30 @CCIAction and @IAStudentAction members are refusing to leave @JoeBiden’s statewide headquarters in Des Moines over his lies about #MedicareForAll and his ties to the insurance company CEOs who are funding his campaign. pic.twitter.com/95qJWFv3x6

— Iowa Citizens for Community Improvement Action (@CCIAction) January 27, 2020

yeah I think that's the same incident referred to by a Biden surrogate as "Sanders sending gypsies"

it's cool that sanders sent ian mackaye

and william burroughs!

man bun guy is a Pete mole

as far as local protesting goes, I could tell it was CCI and not the Catholic Worker movement people because no one had chained themselves to anything

do not piss off the catholic worker people, is what I'm saying

A man in Iowa asks Joe Biden to stop supporting the building of new pipelines. Joe Biden tells him to go vote for someone else and then starts accusing him of voting for Bernie Sanders. Actually, the man says, he's voting for Tom Steyer. Very awkward. pic.twitter.com/OOuGiypED8

— Zaid Jilani (@ZaidJilani) January 28, 2020

don't give up, Joe! make him vote for Bernie!

hmm I wonder if that man is who I think he is and he might be fucking with Joe

lol yeah
iirc I have voted for him

A man in Iowa asks Joe Biden to stop supporting the building of new pipelines. Joe Biden tells him to go vote for someone else and then starts accusing him of voting for Bernie Sanders. Actually, the man says, he's voting for Tom Steyer. Very awkward. pic.twitter.com/OOuGiypED8

— Zaid Jilani (@ZaidJilani) January 28, 2020

whoops meant to link this

Someone has informed me that the man in the Biden video above is Ed Fallon, a former long time Democratic state rep. in Iowa. Biden told a long-time Iowa politico on camera to vote for someone else and then grabbed him by his jacket.

— Zaid Jilani (@ZaidJilani) January 28, 2020

Goddamn it

in any case, it’s Ed Fallon, a local sometimes candidate

I have to admit I kinda love how Tom Steyer keeps getting involved in stuff like this.

Whats happened to this guy? Six months ago this showroom dummy was being wheeled around checked out and everyone hoping no one would notice, now he's ready to bump heads

On my flight into Des Moines tonight I was seated in front of a very drunk Biden staffer who proceeded to give her seat mate a hand job. I wish I was making this up.

— Krilldozer (@KrillTusk) January 31, 2020

that's the kind of job creation america needs

used to have to park in one of the lots overlooking the airport in order to get that kind of action

vote for yang - he understands how machines and AI are quickly overwhelming the human hand job industry

YEEEEEEEEEEAH

"Finally some effective voter outreach"

-Comfortably Smug

*biden campaign staff frantically making 'cut it out' hand gestures just off-camera*

What pic.twitter.com/9woh5et56C

— R A T M O D E (@lib_crusher) February 3, 2020