since when did we start demanding coherent plots from movies is what I want to know
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:17 (fourteen years ago) link
since obama
― s1ocki, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:21 (fourteen years ago) link
"is roland emmerich into apocalypses?"
"was russ meyer a tit man?"
"does a george lucas shit in the woods?"
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:22 (fourteen years ago) link
s1ocki, I'm sure the Independence Day trailer makes it clear that the plot is "aliens are going to destroy the world" and the gist of Deep Impact's trailer is "meteor is going to destroy the world", whereas this is something like "tectonic plate movements, increased solar activity and approaching previously-undiscovered planets destroy the world".
It's like the set-up is the earth is facing catastrophe because of catastrophes.
― James Mitchell, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:27 (fourteen years ago) link
Is Roland Emmerich a genocidal fantasist? Seriously, how many millions (or billions) of people have died over the course of his filmography? Effing morbid!
He may very well be Morbs' favorite gay.
― bad crack (Eric H.), Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:38 (fourteen years ago) link
This movie looks so good! But I love apocalypse-pron.
― Dr. Johnson (askance johnson), Saturday, 20 June 2009 17:04 (fourteen years ago) link
looks crazy, can't wait
― caek, Saturday, 20 June 2009 18:45 (fourteen years ago) link
high qual (with redundant emmerich intro) here http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810045661/video/14045555
― caek, Saturday, 20 June 2009 18:46 (fourteen years ago) link
the ARG emails have started going to my spam folder btw
― do HOOS ever just steen into space and weep (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 28 August 2009 23:23 (fourteen years ago) link
ugh I hate that movies now openly cater to the tinfoil-hat crowd (this, Da Vinci Code, Knowing)
― Simon H., Saturday, 29 August 2009 00:04 (fourteen years ago) link
October 2, 2009From: Barbara Lewis-PennSubject: Vote for the Leader of the Post-2012 WorldA few weeks ago, the Institute for Human Continuity concluded the entry phase of our election for the leader of the Post-2012 World. Today, we are proud to introduce the 11 extraordinary individuals who are our candidates in the election. Watch my video to find out their names.Now, it's your turn to vote for which of these candidates you would like to become the Leader of the Post-2012 World. Take a look at their profiles at the IHC Election site and decide which candidate would make the best leader. To vote for your Candidate, please complete the form on their profile page. You will receive a confirmation email asking you to verify your information. In order to complete the process, please click on the link provided in the email to register your vote.The world will need a great leader in 2012 and beyond. The choice is in your hands: Which leader will it be?Yours truly,Barbara Lewis-PennChief Strategist/GovernmentThe Institute for Human Continuity(888) 363-2012
From: Barbara Lewis-Penn
Subject: Vote for the Leader of the Post-2012 World
A few weeks ago, the Institute for Human Continuity concluded the entry phase of our election for the leader of the Post-2012 World. Today, we are proud to introduce the 11 extraordinary individuals who are our candidates in the election. Watch my video to find out their names.
Now, it's your turn to vote for which of these candidates you would like to become the Leader of the Post-2012 World. Take a look at their profiles at the IHC Election site and decide which candidate would make the best leader. To vote for your Candidate, please complete the form on their profile page. You will receive a confirmation email asking you to verify your information. In order to complete the process, please click on the link provided in the email to register your vote.
The world will need a great leader in 2012 and beyond. The choice is in your hands: Which leader will it be?
Yours truly,
Barbara Lewis-PennChief Strategist/GovernmentThe Institute for Human Continuity(888) 363-2012
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 3 October 2009 02:06 (fourteen years ago) link
really just out of a sense of obligation now
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 3 October 2009 02:07 (fourteen years ago) link
name in the thread title and all
An early viewing
Sometimes you see a movie so bloated and silly (and so unaware of its own bloated silliness) that you don't even know where to begin. This is the problem that anyone attempting to review Roland Emmerich's nearly three-hour feel-good apocalyptic action thriller "2012" has to deal with.The premise is simple, and one that Emmerich has recycled time and time again: a low level scientist (Chiwetel Ejiofor, struggling desperately to maintain his dignity) discovers a cataclysmic scientific anomaly, one that could threaten the entire planet if someone doesn't listen to him. Thankfully, someone does — a slick, skeptical politician (Oliver Platt). Soon the two of them, along with the President (Danny Glover, who sounds more than ever like Admiral Akbar), begin a clandestine, worldwide initiative to save the human race. In a bizarre subplot, the President's daughter (Thandie Newton) leads a campaign to save the world's most precious works of art. This subplot is far too bizarre and interesting and is dropped almost immediately.Emmerich's love of a fractured, multi-character framework borrowed from the 1970's disaster movies means we've also got some "everyday" people to care about. This weight mainly falls on the shoulders of John Cusack, playing an author-cum-limo-driver who is separated from his wife (Amanda Peet) and working for a greasy Russian fat cat (Zlatko Buric). Additionally, Woody Harrelson plays an over-the-top underground radio personality consumed by conspiracy theories about the end of the world as related to the ancient Mayan prediction of global annihilation in 2012. Since this is a Hollywood movie, he's a paranoid schizophrenic who is - wait for it - actually right! There's also George Segal as a cruise ship lounge singer and a bunch of Tibetan monks.
The premise is simple, and one that Emmerich has recycled time and time again: a low level scientist (Chiwetel Ejiofor, struggling desperately to maintain his dignity) discovers a cataclysmic scientific anomaly, one that could threaten the entire planet if someone doesn't listen to him. Thankfully, someone does — a slick, skeptical politician (Oliver Platt). Soon the two of them, along with the President (Danny Glover, who sounds more than ever like Admiral Akbar), begin a clandestine, worldwide initiative to save the human race. In a bizarre subplot, the President's daughter (Thandie Newton) leads a campaign to save the world's most precious works of art. This subplot is far too bizarre and interesting and is dropped almost immediately.
Emmerich's love of a fractured, multi-character framework borrowed from the 1970's disaster movies means we've also got some "everyday" people to care about. This weight mainly falls on the shoulders of John Cusack, playing an author-cum-limo-driver who is separated from his wife (Amanda Peet) and working for a greasy Russian fat cat (Zlatko Buric). Additionally, Woody Harrelson plays an over-the-top underground radio personality consumed by conspiracy theories about the end of the world as related to the ancient Mayan prediction of global annihilation in 2012. Since this is a Hollywood movie, he's a paranoid schizophrenic who is - wait for it - actually right! There's also George Segal as a cruise ship lounge singer and a bunch of Tibetan monks.
― Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 01:15 (fourteen years ago) link
There's also George Segal as a cruise ship lounge singer
this is the kind of writing i have spent my whole life aiming fo
― Nanobots: HOOSTEEND (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:02 (fourteen years ago) link
this is definitely a goofy movie.
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:02 (fourteen years ago) link
woody harrelson eats a lot of pickles in it.
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:03 (fourteen years ago) link
Roland Emmerich's house is kinda weird:
http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/08/07/garden/20080807-EMMERICH_index.html
― windy = white, carl = black (polyphonic), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:03 (fourteen years ago) link
why yes it is
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:05 (fourteen years ago) link
slocki, better or worse than
http://www.terraespiritual.locaweb.com.br/espiritismo/goofy_movie.jpg ?
― fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:05 (fourteen years ago) link
ok roland emmerich is officially my hero
― fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:09 (fourteen years ago) link
almost exactly what the dream home in my head has always looked like.
― fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:29 (fourteen years ago) link
You wanted a wax sculpture of the pope reading the obituary pages under your stairwell?
― windy = white, carl = black (polyphonic), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 07:12 (fourteen years ago) link
maybe not the pope
― fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 07:20 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm pretty jealous of his diorama of the kennedy assassination.
― windy = white, carl = black (polyphonic), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 07:20 (fourteen years ago) link
i'm jealous of it all.
i need to start directing dumbass blockbusters.
― fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 07:22 (fourteen years ago) link
Wow, that's some decorating scheme. What a nutter.
― krakow, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 08:33 (fourteen years ago) link
Is that a picture of hairy-chested Ahmadinejad on the bedroom table? That house is kinda awesome.
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 08:42 (fourteen years ago) link
Saw this on a bus today. Incoherent gibberish with about eighty false climaxes and twice as many manufactured crises. I'd say that's okay for a great stupid popcorn movie except that it's so damn LONG it loses even the charm of goofiness. Real dud. At least 10,000 BC had a character named "Dik-Dik."
― Doctor Casino, Sunday, 15 November 2009 18:20 (fourteen years ago) link
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Wednesday, November 11, 2009 1:02 AM
do they explain why they choose to fly the airplane through a bunch of near-misses with falling buildings instead of you know maybe flying up high above everything like planes are meant to do (basing this all on the ad which i've seen about 2,012 times by now)
― luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 18:30 (fourteen years ago) link
― windy = white, carl = black (polyphonic), Wednesday, November 11, 2009 1:03 AM
woooow
― luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 18:33 (fourteen years ago) link
do they explain why they chose john cusack?
― coz (webinar), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 18:39 (fourteen years ago) link
nic cage was busy?
― luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 18:41 (fourteen years ago) link
wtf @ his house! everytime you think it couldn't get any more insane, the next room proves you wrong.
― Roz, Tuesday, 17 November 2009 21:09 (fourteen years ago) link
"A taxidermy zebra faces the living room, which reflects his predilection for art with a political edge."
― Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats. (James Morrison), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 22:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Mr. Teall had originally planned to put a life-size waxwork statue of Mr. Emmerich under the stairs. After discussing news coverage of Pope John Paul II's death with Mr. Emmerich, though, he decided it would be much funnier to depict the pope reading his own obituaries.
i now want to see this movie
― a used up cumrag who now plays NFL for the Bengals (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link
well i enjoyed it. disaster effects never looked so good, cusack and harrelson work hard for the lols.
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 00:06 (fourteen years ago) link
do they explain why they choose to fly the airplane through a bunch of near-misses with falling buildings instead of you know maybe flying up high above everything like planes are meant to do (basing this all on the ad which i've seen about 2,012 times by now)― luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 13:30 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 13:30 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
I think the idea is that the plane only just took off from a too-short runway (and maybe has some damage or something) and so hasn't gained the needed altitude yet. I don't know if this really makes sense w/r/t real life planes but it's how the movie thinks about it...
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 18 November 2009 00:58 (fourteen years ago) link
his entire house is trolling u
― itdn put butt in the display name (gbx), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:15 (fourteen years ago) link
xpost yuh that happened a couple of times in the movie iirc
― wilter, Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:16 (fourteen years ago) link
i enjoyed j cusack staying ahead of the supervolcano explosion in a camper van. that's the kind of suspension of disbelief a guy can really get behind.
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:23 (fourteen years ago) link
haha. kinda want to see it but 3 hours???
― luol deng (am0n), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:25 (fourteen years ago) link
thats just more apocalyptic value for your movie dollar
― SMH (ice cr?m), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:27 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah, tbh i was getting ready for it to end 2 hours in, but it just got incredibly crappy instead. still worth a look on the big screen though- i really can't remember disaster effects as good as this.
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:47 (fourteen years ago) link
this movie ends with a line about a girl not wearing pull-up diapers anymore. wow.
― bnw, Saturday, 5 December 2009 22:01 (fourteen years ago) link
it's incredible
― SKATAAAAAAAAAAA (cozwn), Saturday, 5 December 2009 22:05 (fourteen years ago) link
Couldn't even manage my way through a downloaded copy. zzzzzzz
― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 10 December 2009 05:22 (fourteen years ago) link
Awful writing, acting, quite good effects, but it just goes ON and ON and ONNNN
― Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats. (James Morrison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 06:59 (fourteen years ago) link
suppose I should go see this before it stops playing in theaters
― 囧 (dyao), Thursday, 10 December 2009 07:02 (fourteen years ago) link
After fifteen minutes or so I was cheering for the solar flares, tsunamis, and the earth's unstable core. Kill the humans! Kill all of them!
― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 10 December 2009 07:51 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah, with a cast like this (and a movie this boring), it's easy to root for the disaster over the survivors, since if the disaster wins, you'll be rid of John Cusack and the movie will be over.
― Doctor Casino, Thursday, 10 December 2009 08:44 (fourteen years ago) link
Rented this on Blu-ray and have to be honest... It's AWESOME. Loved the ships and several of the 'ride' scenes (no matter how ridiculous). Everything else was serviceable. Cusak looked constipated which was also entertaining.
― Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 20:58 (fourteen years ago) link
i enjoyed it. i just pretended that the director meant me to laugh through most of it. the last half hour just needed chopping tbh
― DarraghmacKwacz (darraghmac), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link
Haha I saw 5 minutes of this when I was in line at Best Buy the other day and thought it looked far worse than I could have even imagined. The CGI just looked laughable.
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 21:38 (fourteen years ago) link
this managed to be both terrible and weirdly dread inducing
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 11 October 2010 04:33 (thirteen years ago) link
i just pretended that the director meant me to laugh through most of it
We just watched this. I couldn't believe I *wasn't* meant to laugh all the way through it, tbh. As a spoof of all disaster movies ever, it was top notch.
― ailsa, Thursday, 23 December 2010 23:38 (thirteen years ago) link
i started watching this a while back but as soon as john cusack came onscreen i was just like 'fuck it, life's too short' and turned it off
― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMf0MTweXYc (Princess TamTam), Thursday, 23 December 2010 23:44 (thirteen years ago) link
he did nothing of the sort
etc
― No Wicked Heart Shall Prosper.rar (nakhchivan), Thursday, 23 December 2010 23:47 (thirteen years ago) link
Really so silly. I saw this, actually enjoyed it, and yet when i try and think back to the movie, it just seems like the entire 2 hours was slow motion shots of the bus driving off an endlessly collapsing cliff with explosions behind it.
― Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 24 December 2010 00:01 (thirteen years ago) link
Nah, that was pretty much it. Ooh, it also had a moment of dubious racism as well, when Thandie Newton and Chiwetel Ejiofor were queuing to get on the arks. Yer man from The West Wing was explaining that the guys to be saved had been chosen to be the best genetic material to repopulate the earth, accompanied by shots of cute photogenic passengers. Cut to two Arab sheikh chaps, penny drops "these people aren't good genetic material, they're just RICH!".
It really does help to think of it as a spoof. We nearly lost it when Cusack's hand appeared out of the crack at Yellowstone Airport and then he RAN AFTER THE PLANE AND CAUGHT UP WITH IT!
― ailsa, Friday, 24 December 2010 08:56 (thirteen years ago) link
this film in no way sucked
― mark s, Thursday, 21 May 2020 22:37 (three years ago) link
this sucked in no way film
― I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Thursday, 21 May 2020 22:45 (three years ago) link