Awesome Audiophile Snake Oil

Enhancing Molecular Stability since 2019!

I've noticed one or two of my friends who 20 years ago would obsess about their perfect listening position at the tip of an equilateral triangle between their stereo speakers, but now enthuse about their v. expensive single Bluetooth speakers.

you haven't lived til you've heard the Beatles in mono..... on a single speaker, as God intended

mono on two speakers in bad for the molecules

is bad. very bad.

xxxp “Last” has been around for years, it’s pretty well established (I guess that doesn’t keep it from being “snake oil,” though). Think I owned some at one point.

I am a chemist, this is how I break it down to an extent

shouldn't say "molecular stability" as that refers to whether molecules break into smaller pieces or not. in general the stylus does not break molecules into smaller groups of atoms.

what a stylus does do is break molecules apart from each other. i.e. it wears down the groove by tearing off tiny pieces of vinyl. the proper term for molecules sticking to each other is cohesion, so when they say they're improving cohesiveness they're actually using the right term.

how do you keep the stylus from tearing off bits of vinyl? put a layer of something else on top of it to protect it. so my assumption is that the LAST record preservative is a thin lacquer that is applied over the grooves. so on the other hand, you're not really improving the cohesiveness of the molecules, you're just putting new molecules over the old molecules so the new molecules get worn off instead of the old one.

TLDR - it's just a thin lacquer that you apply over the surface of the record to protect the grooves.

personally I wouldn't lacquer my records unless they were super scratchy as applying lacquer will obviously leave a waxy residue on the grooves that will change the sound quality.

xpost

It would have to be awfully thin not to muffle the sound, wouldn't it? One could certainly make the argument that it did so. (I mean, we'd be talking about an incredibly fine degree of muffling, but we'd also be talking about audiophiles, who are basically dwelling in a world of fantasy regarding what the human ear can actually perceive, anyway.)

I've applied the lacquer to Dark Side of the Moon and now I'm listening to it 100 times in a row to bring it to it's *ideal* sound quality at which point I will store it away forever

yeah from what I've read on forums and so on people say it definitely changes the sound quality to a noticeable extent. a term I've heard a lot is "warmer" which i generally interpret to mean muffling the extreme high-end frequencies.

it could be less of a lacquer than a lubricant, creating an oily sheen that makes the needle glide over more

they make a lot of claims about it not being, but I'm guessing it's not what people would traditionally consider a lubricant so they're dissembling a little

I was digging in because when I read the description I was wondering if it was literal oil derived from reptiles but it looks like it may be similar to this product: https://www.solvay.com/en/brands/pfpe-functional-fluids

you're right of course that it is a lubricant - it microscopically fills in the surface of the grooves, reducing friction and allowing the stylus to travel across the surface more smoothly

the difference in terminology is that lubricants generally aren't finishes, ie they don't permanently adhere to the surface. like if you touch a greased pan, grease comes off on your hand.

of course there are plenty of exceptions to this terminology and lots of examples of permanent solid lubricants, like teflon film on cooking utensils.

so yeah you can either think of it as a rather thick and adhesive lubricant or a rather thin and non-adhesive lacquer, in the end it's the same thing

fair! thanks for the description, this is interesting stuff

definitely need a few gallons of this as the molecular cohesion of my records has really gone to shit over the last few years, can barely open the door of my record room, molecules all over the damn place

every time i come home from the record store with new molecules of music, my partner is always on my case like "but you never listen to the molecules you already have!"

that's when I reach for my atomizer

goddammit i knew i should've copyrighted my dumb idea for "record lotion"

lol

https://pitchfork.com/features/lists-and-guides/holiday-gift-ideas-for-the-vinyl-enthusiast-in-your-life/

these seem mostly... fine? I'd go for a record cleaning brush over a stylus brush, though

I have that Turntable Lab needle brush. It works! I also drop the needle onto a chunk of Magic Eraser after every few plays. But it's not "THIS WILL ADD LIFELIKE WARMTH TO THE SOUNDSTAGE THAT ONLY YOU CAN HEAR"; it's just cleaning/maintenance.

real heads know only steel wool can repel the negative ion buildup that takes the lustre off your upper mids

was mostly using this thread to take another shot at the constant unwavering stupidity that is pfork (totally NOT a lifestyle website, btw). the "Isonoe Isolation System" is peak snakeoil afaict. also the preamp thingie is questionable and slipmats are not needed unless yr qbert or roc raida (rip). $13 for a 45 adapter too? gtfoh.

stylus brushes are always a great idea, tho.

also good to see turntable lab is still around.

if you have a receiver that doesn't have a phono input and a turntable without a built-in amp, you definitely need a phono amp! I own an earlier model of the one they recommend and the local on-the-level audio shop I go to has been selling them for years. the snake oil version of the same device costs hundreds if not thousands.

right, that's my bad. i've had the same late 70s stereo for twenty years and take that for granted i guess.

the graphics in that list are maybe the worst thing thats ever been published in pitchfork

getting a Vincent phono pre was the best thing I've done in awhile, really fantastic, $300 so "cheap" (haha) for audiophiles, built like a tank

I have a pretty nice amp but it doesn't have a phono in

order of stuff I think matters from most to least:

speakers
amp
cartridge
turntable
DAC
CD player/disc spinner (currently using a $10 off Craigslist optical out into onboard DAC in my amp)
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
all the other bullshit accessories

what a weird, writing-free piece. The no-nonsense phono is the best thing about it (I use that one with my tiny class T speaker amp)... but do not buy one for your vinyl loving friend, unless they can't actually listen to vinyl and lack of a photo stage is the specific reason why.

I wouldn't be mad if someone got me some outer sleeves

also isolation is an issue if you, like, can't dance near the table. but that's when you make a little shelf on the wall

yeah, the plastic sleeves are good (and seem to keep my cat from attempting to claw records)

ha, they have the opposite effect on my cat - he loves to chew the plastic, i cant ever leave a record out

I dislike those sleeves for aesthetic reasons. Then I worry that I'm neglecting my LPs. But no, I can't bring myself to use them

sleeve city outer sleevs are my favorite but i have yet to find a satisfying solution for doubles/gatefolds

for every possible way to protect your possessions, there is a cat who has figured out how to counter it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5poEu9uBwyM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La3U41b0WSU

xpost to mh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7dcSr04G8s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tHOUV_bJn8

Kind of a bummer/guilt-trip final selection on that Pfork list.

No one said loving vinyl was easy. Between caring for old records and getting the best sound out of your gear, being a turntable devotee is as rewarding as it is intensive

*sigh* speak for yourself re this whole vinyl is hard nonsense

ok how do you pronounce ‘phono’?

does it rhyme with slo-mo or Bono?

(or Pono)

Pono

like phonograph

Thanks

I said it in conversation last night and realised that it’s a term I’ve never actually spoken aloud and someone said “is that how you say it?” and I freaked out

RIP Stereophile's Art Dudley

enjoyed his writing

https://www.stereophile.com/content/art-dudley-rest-peace

oh man I have read a lot of art dudley columns over the years... RIP Art.