US Politics, November 2019: These people are truly sick.

I mean he was def hospitalized for chest pains. The routine physical thing is a crock.

There’s some hope here

Presidents who died of natural causes while in office: William Henry Harrison, Zachary Taylor, Warren Harding, FDR. We're due.

He was probably rushed to the hospital for "waist discomfort." Because he is fat.

Which is the president that had the incredible secret surgery on a boat?

Cleveland!

why would a boat need surgery??

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas

Why the elephant was fucking my wife

only kind of related, but here is how eisenhower quit smoking. apparently he thought addiction functioned like a curse--in order to free himself, he needed to pass the addiction to someone else.

I decided to make a game of the whole business and try to achieve a feeling of some superiority ... So I stuffed cigarettes in every pocket, put them around my office on the desk ... and made it a practice to offer a cigarette to anyone who came in ... while mentally reminding myself as I sat down, "I do not have to do what that poor fellow is doing."

Better health through passive aggression.

So if I were to employ the Eisenhower method, I could cure my bad back by taking a tire iron to some poor random asshole’s lumbar?!

So that's why Andy Dick tried to out the Hartman Hex on Jon Lovitz

you’d think the failed attempt on bernie’s life a little while back would have encouraged the deep state to crank the voltage in their heart attack gun the next time they used it, but i guess not

goddamn public sector inefficiency fucks it up YET AGAIN

BREAKING in #Qanon message groups…

"THE IMPEACHMENT IS A SHAM. THEY ARE IMPEACHING A DEAD MAN" pic.twitter.com/yExEp6CSu7

— Deep State LeGate ™ (@williamlegate) November 17, 2019

lmao

That is a conspiracy theory I can get behind.

this actor is pretty good. bananas and outrageous but still convincing.

I hope it is a plant to flush out the devotees who are eager to start an armed insurrection so they can be put on watch lists.

Oh, why not.

FAKE DEATH

Where's the death certificate?

good mourning!

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLddSkUxmPEC-kSY2USfFXiLAGH6blLWwZ

If he's not dead he should prove it by dying.

Trump has no public availability tomorrow either.

It’s almost like they’re hiding a medical emergency, or something. 🤫

— Angry Staffer (@AngrierWHStaff) November 18, 2019

what if someone punched all of his teeth out

thad!

Musta been some hot dog roller!

I am conflicted because I want him to die painfully, sure. But I want him to be humiliated first (electorally or otherwise). Having him die now lets him off too easy.

Plus the MAGA chuds will regard him as a martyr and do all kinds of Lost Cause "if only the democrat party and the media (but I repeat myself) hadn't hounded him, he would have achieved true greatness." Personally, I don't just want them to be disappointed, I want them to realize why and, preferably, to feel bad about it. I know it's a silly thing to want, but yeah: I want the chuds to realize that they have been wrong. And the enablers to regret their enabling.

Dead Trump would be great and all but it wouldn't scratch my itch to see him and his minions suffer and, ideally, regret their choices

^this

Over/under on number of terrifying gigantic Trump statues, modeled after the Ben Garrison Trump, will straddle red state freeways in 20 years?

I, too, want a pony and a million dollars for my birthday.

ymp otmfm

Trumpeters are never going to regret their choices; America is never going to get that closure no matter what.

The best we can hope for is they'll turn his back on him after he disappears from the public sphere, as they did with GWB. They had their authoritarian father/messiah figure for 4-5 years, and then they'll turn to the next useful idiot that speaks their language.

I feel like GWB was more a puppet of the GOP culture at the time, whereas Trump has remade the GOP in his own image, and they're only along for the ride because they're afraid of jumping out of the car at 90 mph

more failed attempts by Trump to win Congressional and Gubernatorial elections are needed for the GOP to say "Fuck it, we don't need this guy" and stop worrying about pissing him off.

Since there won't be another general election until November 2020, there aren't likely to be opportunities for the GOP to lose any congressional seats or governorships until then, at which time it makes more sense to work for turning Trump out of office than waiting for the GOP to turn on him.

precisely

really wanna know what goatse.cx type photograph Trump has of Lindsey Graham

you could ask them, but you may have to wait a while for an answer

it makes more sense to work for turning Trump out of office than waiting for the GOP to turn on him.

Always. I have a sneaking suspicion we're probably not going to like the guy they ultimately/eventually decide is a better bet than Trump

Really think that a widely disseminated 'Trump is Dead' conspiracy theory stands a good chance of stopping large numbers of chuds from voting for him.

trump is dead man miss him miss him

Isn't this the plot of the movie Dave

First lady not recognizing the switch definitely most plausible detail of that film

let's make it more a weekend at Bernie's amirite

Gonna go long on Weekend at Bernie's jokes

Really think that a widely disseminated 'Trump is Dead' conspiracy theory stands a good chance of stopping large numbers of chuds from voting for him.

― Camille Paglia is on my partner's NextDoor (Bananaman Begins),

The one thing this leaves out is the fact that the people who are likely to think he is dead will also simultaneously think he is alive, and have no contradiction or dissonance between these two thoughts. Contradictory 'underlying' truths can coexist where tangible truths cannot.

Yeah, maybe I should rephrase and say it's the *best* chance of getting some of his base to peel off. Like, I'm sure it'd be easy to get about two thirds of Trump's voters to believe that he's dead and being impersonated by a Soros-deep-state crisis actor, but most of that 40% would still vote for him anyway lol