the jeffrey epstein memorial poll and conspiracy-mongering thread

it would have been nice if he’d led with “for decades, i’ve been an active and enthusiastic participant in an international sex trafficking and child rape ring alongside some of the world’s richest and most powerful men, which is probably at least in part also operating as a blackmail operation for intelligences agencies in countries including the united states, united kingdom and israel

“also, jeffrey epstein was murdered”

they obv don't teach these posh kiddyfiddler gimps the art of plausible deniability these days.

just a bit of fun init

Shocking to see an otherwise merely useless pile of flesh tarnished with these accusations.

If some entitled shit who is considered important because he was born and for no other reason can do a thing like this, who can we even trust anymore?

30 seconds into this interview and it's even worse than in the clips. He looks terrified.

"I never have really partied" - this man is the anti-Andrew WK

yikes yikes yikes yikes at this

The bits he has obviously prepared for are somehow worse. Still not sure if the guilt or the idiocy is stronger here, but both are powerful forces.

“I do not regret being friends with a pedophile”

“I was not close friends with him... but I felt like I had to fly halfway across the world to break up with him.”

“I stayed at his house in NYC... because it was convenient.”

YOU ARE A LITERAL MILLIONAIRE

It’s very bleak to think that he’ll get away with this, just as with savile it’s been an open secret for years, comedians would allude to it. Fuck these parasites

"I don't know that nightclub. I didn't buy any drinks when I was there"

Is he going to bring out his diaries now like the rapist judge?

"I didn't sweat at the time"

THE SWEAT BIT

they’re not just parasites, they’re predators

Sorry, but this is brilliant, I have never seen anyone so guilty and so stupid

He can't even work out when to nod and when to shake his head

he has absolutely fucked it. comes across so guilty

I’m not watching it, I’m depressed enough already. He’ll convince the nation of his guilt and the royal family will be slightly less popular until the next time there’s a wedding or a baby

Enjoying the way his eyes dart from side to side for half a second when he gets a question he doesn't want to answer, like he's checking if there's a nearby window he can throw himself out of.

What the fuck has he been talking about the last five minutes?

UNBECOMING

(xxp) Yes, you literally couldn't pay me to watch this.

this is the only clip I require

Ladies and gentlemen, possibly the greatest 57 seconds of television ever recorded.#Newsnight #PrinceAndrew#NonceUponATime pic.twitter.com/vuuYpyXt9I

— Dr Beep Bloop Broop (@DrJamesMasonry) November 16, 2019

I did watch that clip yeah

well fuck i guess he’s in the clear lads

Military veterans treated like scum, u h8 to see it

Best TV of the year, no regrets. I'd like to see a sequel where he's taken away to jail at the end, but this is probably all we're getting.

Prince Andrew: “He has quite obviously conducted himself in a manner that was unbecoming...”

Maitlis: “Unbecoming? He was a sex offender”

The moment. pic.twitter.com/oYcZcZ5j1y#PrinceAndrew

— Richard Chambers (@newschambers) November 16, 2019

holy shit this guy

Wow. Just...wow. pic.twitter.com/3hhMm3lm6m

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) November 16, 2019

best evidence so far against Epstein conspiracy theorists is that he's even been allowed to give this horrifically inept an interview

Maybe this will make Elizabeth so mad she strokes out?

makes u wonder what other horrific shit the royals are frantically trying to hide if they’re willing to sacrifice andrew on a limited hangout like this

I actually felt it was a bit jarring when she called him "your royal highness" at the end, it felt like he had absolutely forfeited the right to be offered any kind of respect, of course this is England, so ha!

i mean since this is the conspiracy-mongering thread gotta wonder if/why his ma allowed him to slip this nonsense past the press-officer sub-editor flunkey

my theory: she's already concluded this particular failson is surplus to the firm's requirements (slow-burn revenge for it's a royal knockout)

― mark s, Saturday, August 24, 2019 4:46 PM (two months ago) bookmarkflaglink

also: you know who doesn't sweat?

https://c.tribune.com.pk/2011/03/Queen.jpg

can a tragic spontaneous implosion of andrew’s hyoid bone be far away

did wonder why he kept going on about having a 'thick skin'

In birds, and some reptiles, the body of the hyoid is greatly extended forward, creating a solid bony support for the tongue.

still, now that andrew’s definitively cleared his name, maybe princess eugenie’s anti-human-trafficking podcast, the much-anticipated début of which was delayed for... reasons, can finally see the light of day

Sorry, but this is brilliant, I have never seen anyone so guilty and so stupid

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, November 16, 2019 4:34 PM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

well said

This is the second time in my lifetime that the Royal Family have organised a car crash.

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) November 16, 2019

this is the most insane shit

Absolutely outstanding that Prince Andrew has managed to spin his decision to stay with a convicted nonce as him being “too honourable” pic.twitter.com/9tnrKyAIgL

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 16, 2019

absolutely astonishing that Prince Andrew openly admits he doesn’t regret being friends with a sex trafficker because that sex trafficker was “actually very useful” to him personally and professionally . he doesn’t even see anything wrong with that statesment pic.twitter.com/CeJV4DJysd

— anna leszkiewicz (@annaleszkie) November 17, 2019

I hope the Salisbury branch of Zizzis have some supportive words for anyone at Pizza Express Woking today.

Showing this to anyone who asks what British culture is pic.twitter.com/DgXLf3g1K2

— hussein kesvani (@HKesvani) November 16, 2019

lmao at distancing yourself from pizzagate-adjacent allegations with an alibi which focuses on... pizza

He's going to be trouble for his re-election, isn't he? Oh wait