Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

unless youll just be scottish right now?

I had a coworker who ended every sentence in his emails with multiple question marks no matter that he was saying. I guess he just didn't know punctuation was for, but it was all very confusing.

'it was all very confusing???' would have worked there

"timeline"

fuck yes

those screenshots of tumblr (i think?) that people share on social media, where you have the meme/joke at the top but beneath that there's someone saying OMG I'M SCREAMING or whatever

Fellow commuter: exits train onto elevated platform, begins walking down stairs, almost immediately pulls phone out and slows to hobbled zombie pace
Me: gently plucks phone from commuters hand, hurls it into the center of the sun

As i walked around the centre of London on my last trip I noticed taht people were walking in waves dictated by the people in front of them.
& the front of the wave tended to be somebody walking aloing paying more attention to their phone than waht was in front of them.

I tend to walk through crowds by trying to see where i can get through spaces and angling my way through them. Always tend to find people with more attention on their phones tahn tehir environment to be a pain and also families spreading out and dawdling so you get them walking in a group that can be 4 across plus and then a few deep. & its difficult to get in between members of whatever group.
Also found trolley cases to be a pain since tehy screw up rhythm and hard to see. & prams/pushchairs in busy spaces since they also tend to be going at different speeds to those surrounding them.

Could see why the centre of town at a buisy time would be a pickpocket's dream in the age of the personal communications device.
& did wonder if people might think I was one as i darted around crowds.

Also found trolley cases to be a pain since tehy screw up rhythm and hard to see.

h8 wheely suitcases

because you can't see them if you're looking around at eye level, and because people drag them around obliviously behind them

I have almost tripped over one many times after someone cuts across right in front of me with no attention to where the thing lurching around behind them is going (at least once someone literally rolled one right over my feet)

but tbh the thing I probably hate most, because I am a weird noise-hating weirdo, is the horrible rumbling noise they make on an uneven surface (ok that one's just me being weird)

because people drag them around obliviously behind them

I'm IA at people who tow rather than push grocery carts. Never tripped over or been hit by one, but people who do this don't seem to have the same level of control.

I hate wheely case noise too. One time I was stuck with my husband's wheely case, which on his previous use had gotten a strap stuck in one wheel, causing the wheel to not rotate and be simply dragged along (no he didn't notice) so about a quarter of the wheel was completely worn down to flat. The bomp-bomp-bomp-bomp sound of one irregularly shaped wheel combined with the normal rumble nearly destroyed me.

Advertising gimmicks promising "savings" against a non-existent baseline, like "Until May 30, save 15% on your renovation supplies" where I have no idea what they "normally" cost. Something about this deeply aggravates me and stresses me out.

the whole idea of "saving" on something you wouldn't otherwise buy

But even when I would buy it, it's like *goes to get oil change at new place* "Great news, we're running a promotion right now, it's $10 off the oil change through Memorial Day" where I have no idea if the actual price used to be $10 higher or it was just under some other "promotion"

They have this "PRICE LOCK" promotion at Sainsbury's, it seems to be "we promise we won't increase the price of some of our products within a period of a few months" which (outside of periods of hyperinflation) is no promise at all, surely? Who on Earth would be attracted by this non-offer?

Finally had a decent chunk of evening free, kids went to bed on time, sat down to watch Blade Runner 2049 again on Netflix only to find they took it off 3 months ago after having it for just 6 months.

automated phone systems that force me to speak rather than press numbers

"You've stated that you'd like to X, is that correct?"

yknow if i could just press 3 for pharmacy and so on we wouldn't have to deal with adding an extra step at every point to confirm that what i said is what i said

this spelling: 'tweek'

Home interior design before/after pictures where the "before" looks basically fine even if slightly dated and the "after" is just like a slightly more up-to-date (but bound to look dated in 5 years) version of the same thing

Those old fashioned twist ties, like on loaves of bread, and how sometimes you can't tell if you need to go clockwise or counter-clockwise to untie them; I will always twist in one direction then decide that was wrong, only to finally discover I was right the first time

old-school screensavers in which text/a graphic endlessly 'bounces' off the 'edges' of the screen

late pass but whole avocado toast beatlemania thing, like was it not acceptable or possible for these people to put avocado on bread before eh 2015?

for lunch today i had half an avocado + bacon + homegrown tomatoes on homemade sourdough bread. the line between hipster and cliché dad has become paper thin.

that’s a B.A.T., my friend

i'm..... the BATman

whole avocado toast beatlemania thing

idk kinda rational

old-school screensavers in which text/a graphic endlessly 'bounces' off the 'edges' of the screen

mmm that's the stuff

yeah that’s a stone cold classic in the original spirit of IA (like the “where’s george” bills)

I'm envisioning a limited run of $1 bills where George is hidden somewhere else on the bill and you try to find him

https://64.media.tumblr.com/937d6e8e128a810b80986e27f913b51a/tumblr_ofavl0jW221v5qjl1o1_540.gifv

"hamberders" - like hamburgers isn't a stupid enough sounding word

new card readers in LIDL seem to need there to be contact rather than hovering over reader. Is taht a security measure or a step backwards.
Was surprised o find out taht it doesn't seem to read without actually touching card to screen. Have used these new readers twice so far, thought it might be coincidental first time but 2nd seems to confirm it.

JUst occured to me that contact might bypass anybody being able to read your card remotely but not sure how BS taht is. Just seems to be moving back into a stage i thought we had moved away from a few years ago.

readers only installed last week.

Wondering how much ambition or plain politicking ther eis in the idea that Ireland is going to be in a position to move from status 5 lockdown to status 3 at teh start of next month and down to 2 for 2 weeks around the 25th of next month.

T^hought these things were supposed to be dynamic to state of teh pandemic.

Also going back into status 5 without having done a stack of preparation that should have been underway since the start of teh last lockdown.
Not sure what to believe about statuses anymore but this just seems like it's not going to be doing what is needed, if it is already.

pornographies that feature massaging as a preamble to serious sexy business: jfc get your massage house in order! what you are presenting are very bad massages! very bad indeed! vaguely running your hands up and down someone's back for a quick minute is not a valid massage, and certainly no reason whatsoever for someone to get worked up in a hormonal sense so that sexy times ensue. not at all! what you are doing is an insult to the let's see if this goes somewhere community. i regret nothing; every massage that was just a massage i have delivered in good faith. on occasion there was a bonus. if not, i still upheld my end of the bargain.

but porn, you're supposed to deliver the rarely-attained promise. how am i supposed to be convinced of the validity of the boinking when the preliminaries are all perfunctorily managed? work that tissue deeply; i got some stress-related issues locked up tight in there. work those out and then you can work me out, capiche?

in conclusion and in summary, bad massage makes bad porn. i should not be so upset at this but look at the world we live in.

Pornographic films also show people who very bad at delivering pizza and fixing plumbing as well.

porn often has shockingly low artistic ambitions

oh, i know all that. that's why this is on the irrationally perturbed thread, not the valid reasons for getting huffy thread.

otoh, you wanted to be an actor, so dig in. i can give a half-decent massage and i don't even have an imdb profile. acting is reacting, and you're not even trying to achieve situational veracity. give your acting partner some semblance of a diegetic reality to respond to, fer cryinoutloud.

when book titles use 'biography' to mean 'a history of', e.g.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6e/London-the-biography.jpg

wtf is up with the vaporwave cover art

I read that and the metaphor (of the city embodied, the city as a person deserving of a biography) is there. But it seems a trifle grafted on. Perhaps as an afterthought, to justify "biography" (which sounds sexy) as opposed to "history" (which sounds dry). Maybe? I dunno.

That was the conceit imo, and agreed that it was halfarsed too

Was going to be a wise-ass and post a bio of this guy, but the author was already way ahead of me.

https://i.imgur.com/KO7j7RS.jpg

Dryer we bought has a default "energy saver" setting. It never gets anything dry on this setting, however it makes me feel guilty to turn it off.

it may not dry anything, but it tumbles your laundry into a state of exhausted submission

They should make a dryer that sighs when you disable energy saver

a disappointed sigh or a relieved sigh?

disappointed for sure

people who lean into a group photo unnecessarily

Dear whoever invented the type of lock system (that german lock manufacturer ABUS uses) that forces me to turn my key FIVE TIMES every time I open or close the back door to my house: fuck you.

Related: my front door has two separate locks that must be opened together. Infuriating when you are carrying shopping/work bags etc… check your privilege two handed lock designers