Misdirected emails

I've recently had my "tyres" changed in Perth, apparently

yeah that's how we spell it because they are not things which make you sleepy

Perth Aus or Perth Sco?

Pollo Tropical
Citrus-Marinated Chicken

1 x 1/2 Fire Grilled Chicken - With 2 Sides (1 x $7.99) = $7.99
***EXTRA BURNT
1 x White Meat Only (Additional Charge)
(1 x $0.85) = $0.85
1 x French Fries
1 x French Fries

white meat, extra burnt!

Ok y'all, this one's a doozy.

MasterArchfiend replied to your comment on Love for Spinel:
You wrote:

Ah... where do I start on this beauty?! I was immediately drawn in by the promise of weight gain, and I can confidently assure you that I was not let down and my bean was most certainly flicked! This has to be the most intriguing story I've read in my many years. Through all of the essays and stories I've read from my students, I've never been quite as impressed as I am now. In this short but sweet message, I will let you know a few things I love about this Shakespearean level of literature.

First of all, I love how you meticulously built up to the climax. You went at a pace not quite slow enough to leave the reader yawning, but not quite fast enough to leave the reader confused and unsure of what was occurring. The story was timed at a perfect pace, and once things started getting good, things started getting GOOD!!! If you look back to paragraph 13 where the text exclaims, "Having not eaten before, she wasn't quite sure how to describe it. All she could say for certain was that she wanted more.", this is a clear example of foreshadowing. Spinel had just had her first morsel of food, and she wants MORE! She won't stop until she gets more! The reader knows that the rising action is now taking place, and they anxiously begin to edge their way to their seat in anticipation of what occurs next!

Secondly, the use of details and imagery was, with lack of a better word, extremely sexually arousing. I loved how you were able to gracefully describe the gradual growth of Spinel's belly. The idea of her slowly taking up more and more of Yellow's lap is so hot, and the idea of our precious little bean Spinel being filled to the brim with pastries... I'm honestly getting turned on writing this. I love the detail you added in about her clothes stretching out and ripping -- it just makes everything much more realistic (and sexy)! "Spinel spent more and more time resting on Yellow's lap instead of her bed while Blue and White took turns replenishing her tray while providing soothing rubs when she became too full." (paragraph 24.) The only complaint I have is that I wish you'd give more detail as to what Spinel's belly and folds felt like when the Diamonds were rubbing it! And this whole story wraps up in such an elegant way that I'm genuinely left begging for more! A sequel, perhaps?

Lastly, I love the way you wrapped this up. Yellow and Blue are obviously having doubts of their actions after they see how big Spinel has gotten, and they even consider amongst themselves to maybe lay off a bit on the snacks. However, White quickly dismissed whatever ideas they were conjuring up, leaving so much to the reader's imagination about what happened after this story ended. Did Spinel gain more and more girth until she finally popped? Did the Diamonds decide to stop feeding Spinel until she returned to her normal size? How many more belly rubs was she given? Was Spinel ever given new clothes or did she just sit there butt naked? It's all up to the reader to decide! "As they quietly thought about what they have done to their lover in the name of her happiness, the sound of heels brought their attention to White who held out a very large tray of pastries in one hand and one she had clearly been snacking on in the other. "I don't think we've gone far enough." (paragraph 28, a.k.a. the last paragraph.) My eager, horny mind is racing as to all the different things that could happen!

Furthermore, that was only a few things that I loved about this story! I would've written more, but I only have a 45-minute break before my next class of students come in! I'm debating showing them this to let them know how well imagery can work in your favor if used correctly. I implore you to write a second chapter! This was a ride from beginning to end, and I'm so so so excited for your upcoming stories!

Love from Wisconsin,
Mrs. Jordan M.

MasterArchfiend responded:

I want to apologize for not replying in a timely manner and thank you for the thorough compliment. I admit that I was not expecting something so in-depth, but I am pleased to find that you enjoyed it.

There is a sequel in the works and I will take this into account as I work on it.

As for sharing this work, I have no objections. It means more ideas and opinions to help me improve my writing.

With many thanks coincidentally also from Wisconsin,

Krys W. The one and only MasterArchfiend.

i think you need to make a trip to wisconsin

What a world

i think you need to make a trip to wisconsin

...

I think you need to legally change your name.

or start a new life in wisconsin!

I already did that, 35 years ago

start a newer, weirder one

Query: Good morning!

I'm working on a story for XXXX called, "Everything You Need To Know About Vaginal Taste."

I'm looking for sex educators, ob/gyn's, and vulva-owner experts who can speak to what changes the taste of the vagina, what tastes are normal/abnormal, and when a change in taste is cause for concern. Is that you? Wonderful! I'd love to interview you :). Please see my questions below.

1. I'd love to start by asking an expert speak to the fact that vaginal tastes vary and that there's no one "right" vaginal taste!
2. Anything you'd like to say to folks who are trying to "improve" the taste of their vaginas?
3. Is there anything you can do to change the tase? Does water or alcohol change the taste? How about fruits and veggies? Going vegan? Etc?
4. What do things like washes/douches/etc do to the taste? (Why can these things cause infection and therefore effect taste?)
5. What should folks actually do to was their vulvas? Can you wash the actual vagina?
6. Is vaginal taste every an indication it's time to see a doctor?
7. If you have a partner who doesn't like the way you taste and says that, what would your advise be?

Requirements:
sex educator, ob/gyn, vulva-owner expert

Hello from Chile! ☺️

Go Chiefs!!

Hi this G***** y*** I live in roger Arkansas 72758. We have that diseases here in Arkansas but they didn't close down the work place called poultry like all the factory for animal. Just like our work place already send 2 people that sick but they didn't close down our work place called Ozark mountain poultry.

https://i.imgur.com/PhN4iOK.png

https://i.imgur.com/KMn5Tub.png

https://i.imgur.com/37eUefq.png

https://i.imgur.com/Ki6SQYR.png

Swear to God, I'm going to buy one of these things for myself, then drive across country to Richmond, California. I'll catch Mr. Pleasant Plains walking down his driveway and then beat the ever-living shit out of him with his own wallet.

KNOW WHAT MY NAME IS? I'll ask. SAY IT! SAY MY NAME!

When you are hurt
Can be your advantage weapon
Give the enemy a fatal blow

... and p.plains saw that and went, "I'll take three!"

You're nearly there!

Your Pornhub account bigcummmmm90 has been created. We just need to verify your email address to complete signup.

https://i.imgur.com/TEkTJaK.gif

This guy buys the dumbest shit.

you'll be singing another tune when the cantaloupes come for you

Got a good one last night:
__________________________________

Hi [Pleasant Plains],

I have resubmitted the above referenced loan for CTC. The following conditions are provided:

Insurance
LQI credit report
AUS #4
Payoff statement for 1st lien with PNC Bank
HOA cert

Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you for your help!

Ginger

----------------------------------

Ginger –

Per my instructions…please do not email contract Underwriters directly….All communication must flow through my desk. I will update the RESUB.

Thanks.

PHil
__________________________________

This is a system generated message informing you that the above-named person is a Adult in Custody (AIC) at the Oregon Department of Corrections who seeks to add you to his/her contact list for exchanging electronic messages. There is no message from the AIC at this time.

You can ACCEPT this AIC's request or BLOCK this individual or all AICs from contacting you via electronic messaging at www.corrlinks.com. To register with CorrLinks you must enter the email address that received this notice along with the identification code below.

Identification Code: 2G56BL8R
This identification code will expire in 10 days.

By approving electronic correspondence with Oregon AICs, you consent to have the Oregon staff monitor the content of all electronic messages exchanged.

Once you have registered with CorrLinks and approved the AIC for correspondence, the AIC will be notified electronically.

I stopped getting the BMW loan payment emails cos Ms Fenton had paid off the car. Then I started getting dealership service reminders instead.

Sigh.

Another misdirected email - unbelievably bold takeout order from a Canadian premium casual restaurant pic.twitter.com/KCmrgaMS4F

— CHANTS (@ChantsWI) August 20, 2020

i guess if you're willing to pay fifty bucks for a bottle of goose they got you

Maybe that's a great deal in Canada?

Please pay your invoice
Colorado State Fire Fighters Foundation would like to remind you to pay invoice CC12486.
Amount due: $25.00 USD
Due date: July 27, 2020

If those are 750ml bottles, nah, it's a shit deal.

xp

Hello [my first name, not quite my last name] !



Orl4 K3lly is applying for a lease with our agency and we're writing you to ask that you confirm some details they have supplied to us

They have told us that you are their Friend and that you are willing to be a referee.

The applicant has agreed to our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Statement which provides consent for us to contact you, and for you to provide us with additional information if you so choose. An authorised copy of the Privacy Statement is attached to this email for your records.

Click Here to Provide Reference

Thank you for your time!

Kind Regards,

:Different

Powered by Tenapp

in fact a person with a different last name has also failed to pay her promised donation to the colorado state firefighters association. one day i need to have a fap with all these ppl of irish descent who keep putting my email into things.

Did you reccomend the person for the job? They're not great at email stuff, but I'd give them the benefit of the doubt.

you know what, dowd, dougherty, donohue, donnelly, doyle, whatever your name is...i was thinking about it but you have to click through to do it and probably set up an account and stuff so i just replied and told them wrong person

do a reffle

You’ve successfully created a New Yorker account. You now have limited reading access, and can save stories to revisit later.

The New Yorker publishes as many as fifteen new stories every day on newyorker.com, and we don’t want you to miss a thing. Subscribe now for just $1 a week, and enjoy unlimited access to everything The New Yorker has to offer.

Can't make this up

First Name

Hatry

Last Name

Hroan

Postal Address

1 Kkk Calhoun, Georgia

Reference Number

0357.2830.Georgia

Eligibility Status

Pending Confirmation

Things people have tried to sign up for/recover passwords from/order using my email recently, a list:

UPS deliveries
Sam's Club
Instagram
Steam
Epic Games
EA Games
Congressman Hakeem's newsletter (whoever he is)

Hello Charles,

I would like to personally wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I would also like to invite you as well as your family and friends to our Year End Clearance Sale. We have great rebates as well as 0% on most remaining 2020 models. Please give me a call if I can be of further assistance now or in the Future.

Thank you
Ray Rendon
Future Ford of Clovis

A Future Sound of London tribute act?

Hello Thomas,

As Christmas draws near, we have a present for you. We’re making you a Platinum Sky VIP as you’ve been with us for over 9 years.

Being a Sky VIP doesn’t cost a penny and you’ll be able to enjoy some great rewards and experiences, all on us.

The ads for Sky VIP make it seem like you get to hang out with Idris Elba, I'd take it.

Thanks for ordering from
Popeyes®
1
Classic Chicken Sandwich
$3.99
1
14pc Wicked Shrimp Medium Combo
$7.50
1
Offer - Free 3pc Tenders Spicy w/ min. $10 Purchase
$0.00

Subtotal $11.49
Delivery Fee $0.00
Tax $1.09
Tip $0.00
Total $12.58
Paid with VISA ending in 2114

dude got it just to that minimum, respect

Attached please find updated quote to replace carpet and steps in your basement

For your convenience I’ve attached original receipts

Thanks

Scott

i don't even have an etc

Thank you for contacting us regarding our Bullmastiff Puppy "GUNNER". He is still available and ready to go as soon as possible. We are asking for $885USD for him.GUNNERhas great temperament and lovely personalities with impressive pedigree. All our puppies are 100% purebred.GUNNER comes up to date on shots from a licensed Veterinarian with a 1 year genetic health guarantee against all illnesses/diseases and full breeding rights. He is 10 weeks old presently. Parents are on site, Mom weighs 135.5lbs and Dad 125.5lbs so he is estimated to weigh between 120-150lbs when full grown. He is Hips, Eyes, and Heart certified. He is 100% domesticated and currently on potty training. Our puppies are home raised and will grow to have strong bonds with household members and other pets.

GUNNER is affectionate, intelligent, loyal, protective, calm and gentle. He is a good family dog as he loves children and never gets aggressive toward people he knows. He loves to be around his family and thrive on attention. Barks when necessary.

We do appreciate personal pickups. We can set up a date for you to visit our facility, look at the puppies and pick the puppy of your choice .if you are local but a $400 deposit per puppy is required prior to that; then we would fix a date for you to visit. He would be shipped via airplane using a professional pet shipping agency. We charge an additional $250 for shipping per puppy.

We are located in*PAYSON,ARIZONA* and if we are to ship we will be shipping from *ARIZONA* to your location. We ship all over the USA and Canada.

However, before we proceed further we will like to know your location(City/State) , we will also like to know a little about the family our baby will be going to. Could you please kindly tell us about your family and your environment and experience with puppies, have you ever owned a Pet?

puppy mill, curse them all ಠ_ಠ

sure would be a shame if someone signed them up for a crippling amount of spam

Hello parent or guardian
Your child (aged 13) is asking you to give them permission in Among Us.

Truly psychotic:

ORDER FOR PICKUP
Order ready at 1:22 PM, TODAY (SUNDAY, 9/26/2021)
Thank you for your purchase! Your order will be completed at the time specified. Join us next time at your favorite Chuck E. Cheese location for fun, games and food. Where A Kid Can Be A Kid®.

1 x Large Pizza (1 x $14.99) = $14.99
1 x Traditional crust
SUBTOTAL $14.99
TAX $1.13

TOTAL
$16.12

Thank you for ordering with us.

Note: Add no-re✧✧✧@chuckeche✧✧✧.c✧✧ to your safe-senders list so that you are sure to receive our messages.
For order issues, please contact CHUCK E. CHEESE #794 at (763) 494-5540.
Order placed at 1:07 PM

yeah who the hell does Chuck E for takeout!