Real England

i used to live in bedminster and the nearest pub had a sign in the door written in biro that said "locals only after 8pm". i wonder if any non-locals went in before 8pm.

I once went into a pub with a "customer notice Travellers will not be served here". When I asked the surly landlord if there was a payphone on the premises. He said its just around the corner but your not using it if you are from that bail hostel.

Beautiful tribute to our fallen soldiers 😢 pic.twitter.com/gpbZNPpMH5

— Mascots Minute Silence (@MascotSilence) November 9, 2019

Map issued to polish aircrew during WW2 to help them pronounce British town names. Thank you one and all. pic.twitter.com/4hxPkC3cFd

— tom newton (@tom_newton1234) November 10, 2019

omg

that is the best

Note the lack of R's

I'm Byleryky Dycky and I'm doing very well.

it's been disputed that it's a WWII map, it's in a book of Soviet-era maps and is said to be in case of a Soviet invasion of Britain

It is for Polish speakers though.

Saufend-on-Sji <<< going with the local pronunciation I see...

https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/23/man-threatened-burn-nightclub-didnt-sell-red-bull-11206056/

In mitigation, his defence barrister said Day couldn’t remember the incident.

I couldn't really help it, I was pissed out of my head

seven Coronas, wow Ollie Reed lives

https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/police-issue-update-latex-clad-3557776.amp?

pic.twitter.com/PzLr0kJwP3

— . (@twlldun) November 25, 2019

thx 4 new screen name suzy

listening to Cock Sparrer rn

<3 Cock Sparrer so much

It must have been a tight squeeze...https://t.co/S1o9S4LkHK

— StokeonTrentLive (@Sotlive) December 15, 2019

The school nativity 'angel' who gave the audience the middle finger - for twenty minuteshttps://t.co/OhTrmgS0Eg

— Manchester News MEN (@MENnewsdesk) December 16, 2019

top stuff

This is the thread where we judge other people's parenting

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/grave-of-the-last-sin-eater-richard-munslow

"The unenviable practice of sin-eating was usually undertaken by beggars and the poor, who would “pawn their souls”—or be paid to eat and drink over a corpse—to “take on” the sins of the suddenly deceased (who had been unable to confess their sins before death). In the Christian faith, it was thought this ritual ensured the recently departed an untroubled passage into Heaven."

this guy died in 1906 btw!

Oh right, I only know the word 'sin-eater' from a Guided By Voices song, I just assumed it was some gobbledygook Robert Pollard nonsense.

https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/18120387.mystery-piles-manure-appear-around-county-durham-villages/?ref=ebmpn

“Customers have been talking about it every day for the past few weeks – it’s affecting every road into the village. It’s clearly someone with a big trailer because there’s an awful lot of **** out there.”

From a cafe wall in Essex. pic.twitter.com/qrwCwePTWK

— Daniel Holland (@DannyDutch) January 10, 2020

probably a bit try-hard tbf, but it could be genuine.

i think that’s this guy


https://mobile.twitter.com/michael1979/timelines/621659536571650048

i thought it was a bit zany and lacking in real.. soz for posting it here.

(largely for recognition of "this is a definite type")

what is the name for this type of man??

English, Terry Pratchett fan, sardonic humour, left wing-ish, leather jackets, maybe long hair, maybe folk music, Bill Bailey, real ale, usually middle age+. Warhammer adjacent. Likes swords but doesn't necessarily own one?

— Imogen West-Knights (@ImogenWK) January 15, 2020

'steve' iirc

the Tweet gives the answer

Bank robber who wore pillow case with no eye holes arrested after fleeing 'very slowly' then stopping to pat a dog https://t.co/dGjrKxrS90

— The Independent (@Independent) January 18, 2020

ahem

Matthew Davies, 47, robbed a Bank of Scotland branch in Dunfermline, Scotland, armed with a meat cleaver last September.

Real Fife.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EO0qkTPWoAExzii?format=jpg&name=900x900

get brexit done

the multiple references there to slogans coined more than 70 years ago is definitely a healthy sign of a progressive nation well-equipped to deal with the challenges of the future

'street parties' is presumably a euphemism for getting glassed in a mass brawl outside a wetherspoons after nine hours of drinking on match day

hate how afternoon tea has been ruined by association, but I will still persist to take it

Can't stand tea myself but would fancy a special brew (in a bottle so I look less of a degenerate alcy).

With a selection of sandwiches and cakes? Might even work

London Bridge is one ugly as fuck station, can't think of anything worth celebrating about it.

or the bridge tbh

dogging in the drizzle
jellied eel ow's yer father
bung me a monkey
smash-and-grab little hitler

Think they mean the bridge itself, which is completely nondescript - weird not to go for Tower Bridge but I guess it doesn't have any nursery rhymes about it. I bet loads of parochial morons think Tower Bridge IS London Bridge tbh

fergie_london_bridge_(2006).flac

have-a-go hero, army this and army that

Raoul Moat, Nigel Farage, Bernard Manning, Enoch Powell, Jimmy Savile