Worst TV adverts of the moment

tesco club card plus, revoiced Casablanca scene, low quality.

(then there's the idea of a *paid* loyalty card)

the important thing is that Giffgaff is stylishly incomprehensible garbage.

I use giffgaff and I think it's brilliant, almost perfect, but their marketing, the matey tone they use for voicemails, all terrible

I don't even know what it is.

giffgaff is gabbo

(Alexei Sayles had things to say about giffgaff, and the financial crisis, in his sandwich show thing the other day. It was a repeat but...)

That Dacia advert is back and the "Go Duster!" in completely the wrong place annoys me as much as ever.

pc world 'crimbo' adverts

... the ones with the long overdue reappearance of Advert Man, shaven and looking a little older?

OK, so the guy looks like your standard issue UK advertising bearded wanker but, Jesus, the accent, this is probably the worst American accent I have ever heard...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfhEaYUWFdE

... and this isn't a one off either, all of their adverts have this Dick Van Dyke In Reverse lead character.

Jesus if I hear one more advert using that "She did a bad bad thing" song aka the cuntiest record of all time I'm gonna write a hyperbolic sweary post on the Worst Adverts thread

I feel like there's a bumper crop of terrible adverts at the moment. Apparently there's different versions of this particular monstrosity, byut thankfully this is the only one I've seen.

📹

I wish Aldi would stop trying to make that fucking carrot happen

people love that fucking carrot unfortunately

who the fuck could love the fucking carrot and what kind of monster would rather have carrots than sprouts?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=multn2bwycM

I was gonna guess there was a dog's head in the box but not like that.

M&S Christmas food: because the gulags can't come quickly enough

I hope that little cunt shilling for the British Heart Foundation gets vascular dementia soon

Did somebody say just eat

Hell yes

And now it's stuck in my head, kill me please

Having said that I am considering ordering a kebab

Was bombarded with Postcode Lottery adverts when in England for a couple of days. Hoooooboy... They completely copied the aesthetics of this vile Dutch lottery, down to the logo and colours. And with the same fake plastic smiley celebs you want to punch in the face again and again. They've got it down to a tee. Depressing and disturbing. Another Dutch export success!

they're the worst and absolutely pitched at the poorest section of society, something feels very real and very fucked about the emotional impact of winning a five figure sum of money to people and on some level i can relate, i didn't even realise the cunts doing the advert were "celebs" until i looked them up

the cancer charity one is the worst tho, some 15 year old twat in specs and a lab coat so you're supposed to think he's a scientist

i hate advertising on some visceral dna puritan level tbf tho, also i'm a depressed moaning bore

I've said it before but I can never listen to Let Em In again and I liked that song a lot

I admit using 'celebs' rather freely there, but over here it's exactly the same: crestfallen soap opera 'stars' and strictly come dancing ppl etc. Fuck, I looked the UK one up and the wiki says even Attenbrough is an "ambassador", sad lol. I was taken aback seeing it on English telly because I naively thought this tragedy had been confined to this country. But of course the cunts exported this lottery that plays on FOMO and guilt, because it does so very well what you just said: wring out some more dough from the poorest, instilling them with the fear of their cunt neighbours winning a huge prize and them being left behind. It's criminal.

A Dutch add (viewer discretion is advised). Same aesthetics, same "celebs" you want to slice open. All I want for christmas is the bald fucker to be decapitated, plz Santa:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZZSGs5nWW0

oh shit i didn't realise it was an international property

the irony is that "postcode lottery" started life as a phrase describing something v negative

Above ad amazingly, defiantly doesn't even contain tears. It's in the fine print that if you win, they can waterboard and taser you till you cry and admit your darkest fears and secrets. Because some GRATITUDE hello people. xp

oh shit i didn't realise it was an international property

A fine Dutch invention :(

the irony is that "postcode lottery" started life as a phrase describing something v negative

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, November 19, 2019 8:29 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

Would campaign for that meaning to overtake the better known one here tbf

Dear Macmillan I bet you think you're so clever with your chirpy song about death which is fucking horrible you scumbags

it's Marie Curie I think, not Macmillan?

that's a double-edged one really. I could really do without the endless parade of funeral planning and life insurance for the over 50s ads, and this falls into that for me, but my wife doesn't mind this particular ad because she thinks people should be talking about death more. I doubt she'd feel the same way if it was Macmillan doing it though, because she hates Macmillan

i hate advertising on some visceral dna puritan level tbf tho, also i'm a depressed moaning bore

That makes two of us - at least.

Now I love red hair and I love redheads and, if I were to let my beard grow, you'd soon see I've got the gene myself - having said all that, any chance that advertising agencies can stop using redheads (women and children especially) in every second advert? It's the abject lack of imagination displayed by these advertising 'creatives' that irritates me rather than people with red hair fwiw.

i think you're right CP, i didn't bother to factcheck. otm about all the funeral plan ads but i find that Marie Curie thing particularly triggering even tho your wife is right, really.

That fucking screamy "I want my bang bang" song on the phone advert, now that's *really* triggering, but it triggers hatred

jfc at that Tesco Casablanca advert

i like the way they don't even try to sound like the actors

And I keep hearing it as ‘...that can’t stop talking about’, instead of ‘...you can’t stop talking about. It’s annoying, in a minor way.

Is there anything more let's nuke the planet from orbit than perfume ads?

I get great joy from the TV perfume ad that goes
"Shall I.... rephrase the question?"
"..... I'm not going to be the person I'm expected to be any more"

It is SOOOOOOOOO SHIT
and it's for a MEGA LUXURY BRAND
and it's DIRECTED BY SCORSESE

and it's like something Alan Partridge would come up with

I still don't like it when Natalie Portman glowers at me like it's my fault

Oh my god Scorsese directed that ad that rips off Mishima?

New andrex one with skincare vloggers can fuck off

Any advert with 'ordinary people' (actors) singing a famous song badly - because ordinary people (stupid plebs) can't sing.

Any advert with actors playing homeless people because real homeless aren't sympathetic enough

they keep showing THE SAME 'on the beach' advert twice in a single ad break. why?

I can't tell why the voiceover is a Lee Marvin impression.

I thought John Goodman, which makes about 3 things he is currently advertising

oh, it's Iggy Pop