Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

not her finest work

when you give an artist bad and skimpy materials, you get substandard work

those last two sentences have an eerie cadence to them

At that moment an almost endless line of traffic streamed over the bridge.

there are things i just don't understand and the fascination with marilyn hagerty's writing is way at the top of the list

Inside Chik-fil-A there is a playground for little children.

A child comes from the country, begging admittance to the playground, but Chik-fil-A will not admit him.

Can he hope to enter at a later time? That is possible, says Chik-fil-A.

breast of chicken

xp lolllllll

amazing

wait j.d. i didn't even clock yours. we must be on to something.

Wish you would come back to Grand Forks!!!! We could name a windchill after you and warm you up at the Toasted Frog!

— Marilyn Hagerty (@MarilynHagerty) January 21, 2019

worth reposting

In the large, well-equipped kitchen Norene Kennedy leads the way also in turning out Sunday breakfast buffets available between 8 a.m. and 1 p.m. And there is a burger menu. On Mondays, there’s a spaghetti choice that runs from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. Or, as she says, “until it’s gone.”

Tuesdays bring Swiss steaks to the forefront. On Thursday, it’s taco salad.

The dining room is located beyond the lounge in the American Legion Club rooms. The pleasant large room has a variety of tables and windows along the south side. There is a window to the kitchen where patrons can pick up dinners when there are no servers on duty.

There is seating for diners at 17 tables in the large dining room along with space in the lounge area.

Patronage seems to stay steady during the winter, according to manager Rick Bartlette. He says those who go to lakes in summer seem to make up in winter for those who go south.

When she goes out, Chef Norene Kennedy says she looks for pasta. She likes to eat at Ruby Tuesday and the Olive Garden. She looks for steak at Texas Roadhouse.

In the back of her mind, she always is critiquing, studying.

The dining room is located beyond the lounge in the American Legion Club rooms.

just reading this sentence fills me with a mix of dread and ennui.

The pleasant large room has a variety of tables and windows along the south side.

there are exits to the west and north. a closed trapdoor leads down.

_

This might have been a beautiful Friday in April. Among other things, students at Central High School had their senior prom scheduled at the Alerus Center. And along with so many other events, it is postponed.

On the bright side, there was a new moon Thursday.

But now, most everything is on hold because of the catastrophe called coronavirus. Nobody even knew what coronavirus was when plans were made for this last weekend in April.

Maybe the birds knew. After all, the North Dakota Century Code says April 26 is designated as Bird Day in North Dakota. This year, that’s Sunday. It was so named to promote and encourage the conservation and enjoyment of one of nature’s most attractive features. And it was named to honor the birth and work of naturalist John James Audubon. The code says he made America’s birds known to the world through his drawings and vivid prose.

maybe the fucking birds knew

goddamn it marilyn you done it again

glad to find out the origin of the word "Sunday"

That single-sentence second graf.

Now I'm imagining her continuing said graf with "and a fire dance through the night"

Never before heard a new moon being called "the bright side."

Guess when you think about it, it's bright on the other side.

JOHN JAMES AUDUBON DID THE PAINTING OF THE OTTER IN A TRAP

Marilyn Hagerty, of the viral Olive Garden review, talked to me about covering the restaurant beat while Covid is raging through N. Dakota, where she lives https://t.co/k8qczfYLLI

— Pete Wells (@pete_wells) December 10, 2020

omigod

Ms. Hagerty’s two other weekly columns are not about food. She writes one in the form of a letter bringing some out-of-town friend up to speed on the latest goings-on in Grand Forks. The other she fills with odds and ends that happen to catch her eye.

“I just write about sort of half-crazy things,” she said. “Kind of like what you’d tell your friends but you wouldn’t put in the paper, but I do put it in the paper.”

For these pieces, the Herald pays her a freelance rate. Ms. Hagerty said jokingly that the paper probably doesn’t have the heart to fire her. Anyone in journalism, though, will suspect that her editors know the value of a reporter who files three times a week and never runs out of ideas.

“She’s not doing it for the money,” Mr. Hagerty, who writes obituaries for The Wall Street Journal, said of his mother. “She’s doing it to stay sane. She refuses to be an old person.”

Even in her self-imposed house arrest, Ms. Hagerty has not been at a loss for subjects. She has reported on the search for smaller Thanksgiving turkeys, the adaptations for pandemic safety made by the dining hall at the University of North Dakota, and the holiday rush at a 71-year-old candy shop whose chippers, chocolate-covered potato chips, may be Grand Forks’s second-greatest claim to gastronomic fame.

that's a hell of a follow up!

Chefs wearing tall red caps delight guests as they cook and serve up choices at large tables in Fuji restaurant on South Washington Street. The Japanese Seafood and Steakhouse draws groups – many with children.

And children who come in skeptically are soon delighted to watch the action. Often they are having a birthday party. From time to time you hear the Happy Birthday song from their tables.

The restaurant is large and orderly. There is an area with booths and tables for mid-day customers. There is a convenient long bar for meals and drinks in an adjacent area. And there are three large areas where chefs preside.

Angela Chen, manager, says holidays in summer are the busiest times at Fuji. King Crab is the most popular choice of six deep fried rolls. The crunchy roll is made of crab with white tuna and salmon, lightly fried.

I find her prose incredibly soothing, she is a master of her form.

I assume this is one of those ones where you're meant to read between the lines of her her not saying anything at all positive about the food

this is paid-review 101
if the restaurant food sucks you state true facts about the food’s contents, and restaurant surroundings, decor & staff and avoid making value judgements of any kind so as not to piss off the advertiser

From time to time you hear the Happy Birthday song from their tables.

yeah that was the one for me as well. absolutely cursed

Culinary Carver

Her (over)use of passive voice and linking verbs creates the lulling quality; it's as if the Olive Garden and its bread rolls have always existed and she just happened to stumble in.

from time to time you hear the happy birthday song from their tables.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fN-Xjpd-qE

Some will remember the pieces of halibut that were served downtown at the former Golden Hour between 1940 and 1977. The chef for more than 30 years was Catherine Oliver. And over the years, she has been remembered for her fish.

One recipe that remains came from Norma Dugas who was a cook at the Golden Hour in the 1960s. She worked he 10:30 a.m. to 8 p.m., shifts and remembered preparing tons of halibut. She said there were lots of parties in the evening and they would sometimes last until 1 or 2 a.m. She said Mrs. Oliver sometimes would buy two or three halibut at a time, and they weighed between 75 and 150 pounds.

“They were huge. They would cut the heads off and filet the fish down to the bones, cut the tail off and skin and cut the fish in small pieces."

The recipe for the fish says to dredge the fish pieces in a mixture of flour, salt, pepper, paprika and poultry seasoning. Then dip the floured fish in a thin batter made of a cup of flour, one and one-half with one half teaspoon baking powder, one half teaspoon each of salt and poultry seasoning. Then use enough water to make a thin batter. Deep fry the fish pieces in oil at 350 degrees until golden brown.

This recipe has been printed on occasion in the Herald in years past.

Some readers say the batter could be like that for pancakes. In her years of fixing pancakes at Lake of the Woods, Bernie Goodman of Grand Forks had the Golden Hour halibut in the back of her mind. After coating the fish in a bag of flour, salt and pepper, she would dip it alternately in a batter made of one egg, three-fourths cup of milk or beer, a cup of flour, 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder, one-half teaspoon of seasoned salt, two tablespoons corn meal and three tablespoons of oil.

She found the batter could be thick or thin. And she too would fry it in oil at 350 degrees.

Some will remember
The former Golden Hour.
And over the years,
she said Mrs. Oliver sometimes,
until golden brown.
could be like that,
She
found the batter could be
like that
she found the batter, she found the batter,
Some will remember, some will remember,
between 1940 and 1977.

Golly

Seriously, this tone would be fantastic for a horror novel.

Ten years!

Memories were flowing when entering the Olive Garden here in Grand Forks this month. The occasion was a family gathering – for lunch. There again we entered the spacious ranch house setting. One of three sections.

The menu at Olive Garden is tried and true. It is much the same today as it was 10 years ago. Lunch on weekdays us served between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. There’s the never ending soup, salad and breadsticks for $7.99.

There are other lunch favorites that draw groups of all ages in the middle of the day. Parking in the large, surrounding lot is never a problem.

Afternoon dessert
A steady stream of customers flows throughout the Olive Garden throughout the day. There are desserts popular in the afternoon including tiara misu and Sicilian cheesecake.

Mid-day through the evening customers come and go. Their favorites include chicken alfredo and chicken and shrimp carbonara.

Servers seem professional. Ethan Moore, who waited on our table, was pleasant and helpful.

The restaurant has seating for 298 and is one of the largest in this area. The seating is comfortable in three different sections. There are windows all around and overlooking the large, paved parking lot.

The restaurant is open at 11 a.m. with 10 p.m. closing on weekdays and 11 p.m. closing Friday and Saturday.

May she thrive forever.

Once again turning large, paved, surrounding parking lots into the stuff of Lynchian nightmares

She is much the same as she was 10 years ago

Memories were flowing when entering
the never ending
soup surrounding is never a problem.
Afternoon dessert
tiara misu and Sicilian cheesecake
come and go, chicken alfredo
and chicken and shrimp carbonara
seem professional.
Our table was pleasant and helpful.
seating for 298
comfortable in three different sections.
There are
windows all around and overlooking closing on
and closing.

Tiara misu aaaaaaaaaaah

tiara misu

lol xp

paved parking lot
paved parking lot
paved parking lot