Canceling Ellen and the NFL: QUEER FALL of 2019

hi patron!!!! good to have you back

i really don't know if i feel there is too big...

what a lovely guy i saw last night! we've been hanging out a lot-ish. he called out of the blue and had me over his apartment, where he made me a caeser salad with homemade croutons, fed me a lot of wine and dessert, and then blew me in the kitchen

https://media.giphy.com/media/jnDikQttGnBGNlXGzM/giphy.gif

Um ok I have a fuckbuddy now and I don’t know what to tell you, I was smiling and gasping the entire time and we’ve been texting each other all day like “wtf was that” and “when can I see you again” and I am looking forward to many sleepovers with the man

are you doing this on weekday nights? I get around a bit and can't think of fuckbuddies on Tuesday nights, say.

so nice congrats!!!!

I am on my way over to his place right now and I’ve been thinking of his redacted in my redacted for 36 hours straight and the best part of all of it is how Loving and Sweet he is this is some truly healing bullshit

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
SEXUAL HEALING BRO

I can’t say “best sex of my life” because that typically happens around the one year mark of a relationship for me but this is truly some insane thing that is happening, my body and mind feel transformed

my body feels transformed too but that's because of my bodywork practitioner Nicole

no but seriously i felt like a Victorian whore this weekend i must have had 4 people in and out of the apartment. i don't know if being single is the best thing that ever happened to me or i'm going to do early from some rare form of syphilis

you're in luck as there's only one form iirc but the butt shot's a bitch

um
i had that butt shot last year
and i honestly felt i was dying
i was in bed for 10 hours
and then i watched "it follows"

hahaha it most certainly does

I was lying in bed with my buddy a few days ago, he's a professional classical pianist, and we were talking about our favourite piano music. I told him how much I loved the Ives "Concord Sonata" and he said he'd never heard it, but he'd check it out.

A couple days later (yesterday), I had a bad fight with my ex-bf (I'm moving out today, the fight was resolved last night, all is well), but my buddy knew I was having a hard time. To cheer me up he sent me a video of him at the piano. He'd learned the third movement of "Concord" in the intervening 36 hours and played it perfectly and I watched the video and started sobbing in the street.

LIKE WHAT A FUCKING NICE THING TO DO

<3 <3 <3 that is so incredibly sweet

fgti now makes two posters in this thread to be fucking a professional classic pianist

I didn't feel particularly badly about my station in love life until now. Thanks, thread.

Just kidding tho. Honestly, I've never been hurt so consistently and reliably than by trained musicians. (No offense intended.)

PS J0rdy I saw you on grindr the other day cuteface xxxx

it helps that i see mine about 3x a year and we keep it kinky

In 2005, I was fucking a painter.

A house painter.

When I was a painter I painted you well
Too bad I have to die
You brought the essentials, perversion appeal
And many lovers at one time

PS J0rdy I saw you on grindr the other day cuteface xxxx

― surm, Tuesday, November 5, 2019 4:26 PM (ten minutes ago)bookmarkflaglink

omg wait what! i do not have grindr

is someone using my picture to catfish...

wait WAHT. it looked...so much like you
like i was sure

if you see it again screenshot and send it to me... now im really curious

i sure will

hi

i have a date tonight with a 26 year old named Jacob. i like him a lot, he's nice and sweet in that way you really don't find often. authentic, awkward. it's really lovely. only thing is the first time we hung out i had to ask him to use my mouthwash. if this is a perpetual problem i might have to duck out.

where do you find these men? (be as general in your answer as you like)

Acquaintances, always, me. Rebound and I are getting attached in an apprehensive but real way, the sex is yes actually “the best of my life” and he is expressing the same both verbally and with his body language, what narrative is contained in the next twenty pages?

personally i’m excited to find out

fgti this is a very exciting time in a friendship, i’m happy for you

My ex and I broke up for many reasons but chief amongst them was a perceived “lack of sexual chemistry” on his end; I was resentful and annoyed that a life together was being thrown over for something that could be, you know, worked on?

But after [redacted] and [redacted, redacted] the other night and I was left babbling and hallucinating? I started crying a little, like, wow, he was right. We really didn’t have that chemistry and I guess I’d forgotten was truly amazing sex could do to a man, you know?

i had a similar realization after my break up!

my ex and i opened our relationship upon my insistence bcuz the sex really wasn't working for me, and i ended up having far more satisfying sex with other guys. in turn, it did make the sex w/ my ex better but i chalked the years of often unsatisfying sex up to simply what happens between two ppl in a relationship. but my relationships since then have taught me that in fact my ex and i just didn't have sexual chemistry, and that it could only be worked on to a very small extent, and that i was much better off in a sexually satisfying relationship. and, on the other hand, my ex used to say that he just didn't have that much of a sex drive, but i think he probably realizes now he just didn't like having sex w/ me that much.

there is no better physical high that i've felt than in the moments after an incredible orgasm. it's real!

Yeah. I reacted badly, both internally and externally, to certain of his comments. I couldn’t understand why he felt more attracted to “sex with anons” than sex with me. (Granted, he extremely crossed the line several times, sexting my friends, hooking up with his exes, and other stuff I won’t get into.)

It was destroying me! And when all the onus for our lack of chemistry was dumped on me? It fucking SUCKED. I’m glad I’m gone.

But we’re getting along great now as friends since I moved out and I’m remembering great sex and having my mind blown on the reg and I hope my ex is too

The key is to realize early in a relationship the limits of your sexual adventurousness with your lover before the extracurricular experimentation reminds you that it's too late to save the friendship. I don't know any queer couples who learned this early enough to save a coupledom that was doomed next year or in five years. Obviously, the older you are, the more likely the compromises.

Well yeah, I agree. Extracurricular stuff has to be done as a way of strengthening an already-strong relationship, not as a bandaid for a weak relationship. In my past experience, this was the case. With this relationship, it was not, and I was internalizing a lot of his activities as being “me needing to step up my game”, which of course, only made our sexual relationship even weaker.

I can’t really overstate how damaging a lot of the stuff he said and did really were to me :( but I’m recovering quickly, only took a few good fucks for me to walk away from it, self-esteem restored

...

A Few Good Fucks

I am still sad abt it gotta admit.. this issue aside it was a terrific relationship. Hoping that all the best parts of the relationship continue in a friendship? hoping that’s the case

the detritus of an intense relationship takes a long time to settle. i'm still going through it and even though i feel better than i have in a long, long time, there are some things that are deeply registered from the way years played out with my ex that i'm not sure i'll ever get over. you take the good with the bad.

i had a similar realization after my break up!

― J0rdan S., Saturday, November 9, 2019 5:47 PM (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

same. hardcore. i never knew how much i needed sex.

same hardcore

and yes most folks i meet on grindr or scruff
it's been way too easy to do that living alone
i used to go out semi regularly to meet guys but...
i dunno

Bars

We were making up funny Joni song titles in the group chat and I've decided that it's very important that I write a song called "The Last Time I Saw Dick"

the last time i saw it was last night and let me tell you, it wasn't good

lol

surm, I congratulate for not stopping. I don't care enough about anything except George Eliot novels to want it every night.

listen, i'm not gonna let the fact that i have no abs stop me from getting my fill. but i will try to work on the abs this winter.

lol, i haven't had sex in so long all of this seems distant.

and of course now that my asshole is on my abdomen, it's not like i can just go out and fuck anyone. *sigh*

<3