Canceling Ellen and the NFL: QUEER FALL of 2019

the excitement of a new body and their new body language is palpable but not really enough to justify all the required work that’s involved

when I turned thirty, I thought this sentiment was a consequence; now I realize it's a state of mind. I still adore picking up guys at bars, but I also acknowledge that, for a guy who doesn't understand sports, the competitiveness is the draw; I'm perfectly willing to think, "Thank you, next!" before my place or his.

ok so here is my sad gay tale:

dude chats me up on scruff, he's touring, puts me on the list for his show a couple days later. end up meeting him the night before the show: he's a musician/producer, charming, kind, impossibly handsome and just as talented, kind of a big deal, just a cool ass cat, and he's so into me. it's too much.

i get to the show the next evening. it's incredible to the extent that I have, no hyperbole, a full-blown ecstatic experience. chakras looking up like a damn pinball machine, the whole bit. i'm sure it sounds corny but i had epiphanies I'm still unpacking over 6 months later.

we link up after the show, i pull him away to a bar, and from there to a love nest i had the foresight to arrange. and then he's back in the tour van before 7am for the next stop, and i'm left with a very delaney & bonnie mood, you dig? he gave me a whole experience. i didn't really know what to do with everything that had suddenly happened.

anyway, months of intermittent communication has made it pretty plain that I had taken the greater portion of meaningfulness from our encounter. someone has to, right? but i got hung up, took it personal, and proceeded to hurt my own feelings for months about it.

anyway, i'm still quite tender from the whole affair. trying to take what i can and be grateful, but it's a terribly lonely feeling, unable as I am to share my side of such a big experience with the person who was such a central part of it.

tl;dr he killed me softly

I had taken the greater portion of meaningfulness from our encounter.

what a beautiful clause

great post & i feel you, even a year after something similar and having found myself in a very rewarding relationship

I like your post patron sailor

I really enjoyed hooking up with you too, patron sailor, fwiw

oh, you!!! ;-)

part of coming to terms with that experience has been, well... claiming all the ways I created it. for as impressed as i was by him, didn't i allure him as well? aren't i worthy of desire? it seems i might be!! i have to give myself some credit

and in context, the spiritual aspect (such as it was) held as much to do with personal practices i'd been performing for several months leading up to the whole shebang. it didn't come from nowhere! but this dude was the catalyst that precipitated a lot of weird stuff for me, including some gender trouble, so it def threw me

and so here i am with all this epic meaning built up around this one night stand with a touring musician and oh my GOD have you ever seen such a pathetic sight, bless my lil faggot heart

i appreciate you all for your forbearance as i puke feelings, i don't really have another bucket for these right now :(

I've lost my ability to pick up guys at bars 100%, and that's not a recent development

been 100% unboyfriendable my entire life

so everything's been simple for awhile, and I can spiral into being unhireable with onerous medical bills w/out any distractions

pursuing sex is the worst fucking thing in the world when youre bad at it

(and as for working out to be a more enticing ho, fuck that shit now and forever)

bless you morbs, you are a constant in these uncertain times.

well that's what plagues me

should i go to the Gay Bar in Exile on H'ween night? no costume plans

"strange loop" popped up on my playlist again and i just want everyone in the world to hear larry owens singing "Second Wave"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYGQIjQqMdQ

i remember you saying once that you didn't like big dicks because it was like handling a trumpet and i think about that often

My feelings about this topic have revised somewhat

i am trying to decide whether to go to brooklyn on monday for a high school a cappella group reunion of sorts. on the one hand i'm not trying to revisit that time in my life rn; on the other, maybe it's worth going. i've been trying to remember who i was as a young performer and why and how i let that thing that brought me such joy fade from my life.

My feelings about this topic have revised somewhat

― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, October 31, 2019 10:38 AM (two hours ago)bookmarkflaglink

stan

the perfect big dick is about 7.5 inches, anything else is too much work

or just hazardous

Protein-rich diets, man.

hi patron!!!! good to have you back

i really don't know if i feel there is too big...

what a lovely guy i saw last night! we've been hanging out a lot-ish. he called out of the blue and had me over his apartment, where he made me a caeser salad with homemade croutons, fed me a lot of wine and dessert, and then blew me in the kitchen

https://media.giphy.com/media/jnDikQttGnBGNlXGzM/giphy.gif

Um ok I have a fuckbuddy now and I don’t know what to tell you, I was smiling and gasping the entire time and we’ve been texting each other all day like “wtf was that” and “when can I see you again” and I am looking forward to many sleepovers with the man

are you doing this on weekday nights? I get around a bit and can't think of fuckbuddies on Tuesday nights, say.

so nice congrats!!!!

I am on my way over to his place right now and I’ve been thinking of his redacted in my redacted for 36 hours straight and the best part of all of it is how Loving and Sweet he is this is some truly healing bullshit

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
SEXUAL HEALING BRO

I can’t say “best sex of my life” because that typically happens around the one year mark of a relationship for me but this is truly some insane thing that is happening, my body and mind feel transformed

my body feels transformed too but that's because of my bodywork practitioner Nicole

no but seriously i felt like a Victorian whore this weekend i must have had 4 people in and out of the apartment. i don't know if being single is the best thing that ever happened to me or i'm going to do early from some rare form of syphilis

you're in luck as there's only one form iirc but the butt shot's a bitch

um
i had that butt shot last year
and i honestly felt i was dying
i was in bed for 10 hours
and then i watched "it follows"

hahaha it most certainly does

I was lying in bed with my buddy a few days ago, he's a professional classical pianist, and we were talking about our favourite piano music. I told him how much I loved the Ives "Concord Sonata" and he said he'd never heard it, but he'd check it out.

A couple days later (yesterday), I had a bad fight with my ex-bf (I'm moving out today, the fight was resolved last night, all is well), but my buddy knew I was having a hard time. To cheer me up he sent me a video of him at the piano. He'd learned the third movement of "Concord" in the intervening 36 hours and played it perfectly and I watched the video and started sobbing in the street.

LIKE WHAT A FUCKING NICE THING TO DO

<3 <3 <3 that is so incredibly sweet

fgti now makes two posters in this thread to be fucking a professional classic pianist

I didn't feel particularly badly about my station in love life until now. Thanks, thread.

Just kidding tho. Honestly, I've never been hurt so consistently and reliably than by trained musicians. (No offense intended.)

PS J0rdy I saw you on grindr the other day cuteface xxxx

it helps that i see mine about 3x a year and we keep it kinky

In 2005, I was fucking a painter.

A house painter.

When I was a painter I painted you well
Too bad I have to die
You brought the essentials, perversion appeal
And many lovers at one time

PS J0rdy I saw you on grindr the other day cuteface xxxx

― surm, Tuesday, November 5, 2019 4:26 PM (ten minutes ago)bookmarkflaglink

omg wait what! i do not have grindr

is someone using my picture to catfish...

wait WAHT. it looked...so much like you
like i was sure

if you see it again screenshot and send it to me... now im really curious

i sure will

hi

i have a date tonight with a 26 year old named Jacob. i like him a lot, he's nice and sweet in that way you really don't find often. authentic, awkward. it's really lovely. only thing is the first time we hung out i had to ask him to use my mouthwash. if this is a perpetual problem i might have to duck out.

where do you find these men? (be as general in your answer as you like)