Hello sailor!
I have been dealing with a breakup by extremely slutting around and it’s been prob counter-productive to what I should be doing (reconnecting with friends, reading books) but it has been helpful in some ways (getting over the guy, feeling good about my body again) and non-obtrusive in others (I’m still going to the gym a lot and getting lots of work done).
I’ve not had a slutty phase of my life since my early 20s and I’m arriving at some conclusions:
- it’s fun but wasteful- I have tracked size queen tendencies in myself that are entirely a result of this present lifestyle and its currencies- the excitement of a new body and their new body language is palpable but not really enough to justify all the required work that’s involved- it seems that generally I’m much more into socializing with these men than they’re used to and it is appreciated by them and me as well
I think my future is bf dick or no dick at all, I just can’t really get used to ho life but it’s nice to know that I’m good at it? It’s also pretty empowering to have become a pro bottom and know that I can basically just make a man happy at any time any where. A willing anus feels like a magical talisman
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 01:09 (four years ago) link
i remember you saying once that you didn't like big dicks because it was like handling a trumpet and i think about that often
― J0rdan S., Wednesday, 30 October 2019 01:20 (four years ago) link
I used the same reed in my clarinet for months when I was in band, so I sympathize.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 01:23 (four years ago) link
the excitement of a new body and their new body language is palpable but not really enough to justify all the required work that’s involved
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 02:06 (four years ago) link
i usually find that i feel that way the first time, kind of after the second time, and not after the third
― J0rdan S., Wednesday, 30 October 2019 02:08 (four years ago) link
for my countless sins i am currently trying to get over an unrequited affliction that i've been nursing for months and months now and it's all very heartbreaking and tedious
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 02:11 (four years ago) link
when I turned thirty, I thought this sentiment was a consequence; now I realize it's a state of mind. I still adore picking up guys at bars, but I also acknowledge that, for a guy who doesn't understand sports, the competitiveness is the draw; I'm perfectly willing to think, "Thank you, next!" before my place or his.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 02:14 (four years ago) link
ok so here is my sad gay tale:dude chats me up on scruff, he's touring, puts me on the list for his show a couple days later. end up meeting him the night before the show: he's a musician/producer, charming, kind, impossibly handsome and just as talented, kind of a big deal, just a cool ass cat, and he's so into me. it's too much.i get to the show the next evening. it's incredible to the extent that I have, no hyperbole, a full-blown ecstatic experience. chakras looking up like a damn pinball machine, the whole bit. i'm sure it sounds corny but i had epiphanies I'm still unpacking over 6 months later.we link up after the show, i pull him away to a bar, and from there to a love nest i had the foresight to arrange. and then he's back in the tour van before 7am for the next stop, and i'm left with a very delaney & bonnie mood, you dig? he gave me a whole experience. i didn't really know what to do with everything that had suddenly happened.anyway, months of intermittent communication has made it pretty plain that I had taken the greater portion of meaningfulness from our encounter. someone has to, right? but i got hung up, took it personal, and proceeded to hurt my own feelings for months about it.anyway, i'm still quite tender from the whole affair. trying to take what i can and be grateful, but it's a terribly lonely feeling, unable as I am to share my side of such a big experience with the person who was such a central part of it.
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 02:43 (four years ago) link
tl;dr he killed me softly
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 02:47 (four years ago) link
I had taken the greater portion of meaningfulness from our encounter.
what a beautiful clause
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 02:49 (four years ago) link
great post & i feel you, even a year after something similar and having found myself in a very rewarding relationship
― J0rdan S., Wednesday, 30 October 2019 02:55 (four years ago) link
I like your post patron sailor
― Dan S, Wednesday, 30 October 2019 03:00 (four years ago) link
I really enjoyed hooking up with you too, patron sailor, fwiw
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 03:22 (four years ago) link
oh, you!!! ;-)
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 03:32 (four years ago) link
part of coming to terms with that experience has been, well... claiming all the ways I created it. for as impressed as i was by him, didn't i allure him as well? aren't i worthy of desire? it seems i might be!! i have to give myself some creditand in context, the spiritual aspect (such as it was) held as much to do with personal practices i'd been performing for several months leading up to the whole shebang. it didn't come from nowhere! but this dude was the catalyst that precipitated a lot of weird stuff for me, including some gender trouble, so it def threw meand so here i am with all this epic meaning built up around this one night stand with a touring musician and oh my GOD have you ever seen such a pathetic sight, bless my lil faggot heart
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 04:33 (four years ago) link
i appreciate you all for your forbearance as i puke feelings, i don't really have another bucket for these right now :(
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 04:35 (four years ago) link
I've lost my ability to pick up guys at bars 100%, and that's not a recent development
been 100% unboyfriendable my entire life
so everything's been simple for awhile, and I can spiral into being unhireable with onerous medical bills w/out any distractions
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 11:00 (four years ago) link
pursuing sex is the worst fucking thing in the world when youre bad at it
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 11:12 (four years ago) link
(and as for working out to be a more enticing ho, fuck that shit now and forever)
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 11:17 (four years ago) link
bless you morbs, you are a constant in these uncertain times.
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 17:15 (four years ago) link
well that's what plagues me
should i go to the Gay Bar in Exile on H'ween night? no costume plans
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 17:25 (four years ago) link
"strange loop" popped up on my playlist again and i just want everyone in the world to hear larry owens singing "Second Wave"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYGQIjQqMdQ
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 22:57 (four years ago) link
My feelings about this topic have revised somewhat
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, 31 October 2019 14:38 (four years ago) link
i am trying to decide whether to go to brooklyn on monday for a high school a cappella group reunion of sorts. on the one hand i'm not trying to revisit that time in my life rn; on the other, maybe it's worth going. i've been trying to remember who i was as a young performer and why and how i let that thing that brought me such joy fade from my life.
― gwyneth anger (patron sailor), Thursday, 31 October 2019 16:05 (four years ago) link
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, October 31, 2019 10:38 AM (two hours ago)bookmarkflaglink
stan
the perfect big dick is about 7.5 inches, anything else is too much work
― J0rdan S., Thursday, 31 October 2019 17:17 (four years ago) link
or just hazardous
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 31 October 2019 17:19 (four years ago) link
Protein-rich diets, man.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 31 October 2019 17:27 (four years ago) link
hi patron!!!! good to have you back
i really don't know if i feel there is too big...
what a lovely guy i saw last night! we've been hanging out a lot-ish. he called out of the blue and had me over his apartment, where he made me a caeser salad with homemade croutons, fed me a lot of wine and dessert, and then blew me in the kitchen
https://media.giphy.com/media/jnDikQttGnBGNlXGzM/giphy.gif
― surm, Thursday, 31 October 2019 17:33 (four years ago) link
Um ok I have a fuckbuddy now and I don’t know what to tell you, I was smiling and gasping the entire time and we’ve been texting each other all day like “wtf was that” and “when can I see you again” and I am looking forward to many sleepovers with the man
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, 1 November 2019 00:25 (four years ago) link
are you doing this on weekday nights? I get around a bit and can't think of fuckbuddies on Tuesday nights, say.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 1 November 2019 00:30 (four years ago) link
so nice congrats!!!!
― surm, Friday, 1 November 2019 18:52 (four years ago) link
I am on my way over to his place right now and I’ve been thinking of his redacted in my redacted for 36 hours straight and the best part of all of it is how Loving and Sweet he is this is some truly healing bullshit
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, 1 November 2019 20:15 (four years ago) link
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwSEXUAL HEALING BRO
― surm, Friday, 1 November 2019 20:33 (four years ago) link
I can’t say “best sex of my life” because that typically happens around the one year mark of a relationship for me but this is truly some insane thing that is happening, my body and mind feel transformed
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 2 November 2019 13:22 (four years ago) link
my body feels transformed too but that's because of my bodywork practitioner Nicole
no but seriously i felt like a Victorian whore this weekend i must have had 4 people in and out of the apartment. i don't know if being single is the best thing that ever happened to me or i'm going to do early from some rare form of syphilis
― surm, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 19:09 (four years ago) link
you're in luck as there's only one form iirc but the butt shot's a bitch
― cheese canopy (map), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 19:14 (four years ago) link
umi had that butt shot last yearand i honestly felt i was dyingi was in bed for 10 hoursand then i watched "it follows"
― surm, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 19:18 (four years ago) link
hahaha it most certainly does
― cheese canopy (map), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 19:19 (four years ago) link
I was lying in bed with my buddy a few days ago, he's a professional classical pianist, and we were talking about our favourite piano music. I told him how much I loved the Ives "Concord Sonata" and he said he'd never heard it, but he'd check it out.
A couple days later (yesterday), I had a bad fight with my ex-bf (I'm moving out today, the fight was resolved last night, all is well), but my buddy knew I was having a hard time. To cheer me up he sent me a video of him at the piano. He'd learned the third movement of "Concord" in the intervening 36 hours and played it perfectly and I watched the video and started sobbing in the street.
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:06 (four years ago) link
LIKE WHAT A FUCKING NICE THING TO DO
― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:07 (four years ago) link
<3 <3 <3 that is so incredibly sweet
― surm, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:07 (four years ago) link
fgti now makes two posters in this thread to be fucking a professional classic pianist
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:17 (four years ago) link
I didn't feel particularly badly about my station in love life until now. Thanks, thread.
― Pauline Male (Eric H.), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:18 (four years ago) link
Just kidding tho. Honestly, I've never been hurt so consistently and reliably than by trained musicians. (No offense intended.)
PS J0rdy I saw you on grindr the other day cuteface xxxx
― surm, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:26 (four years ago) link
it helps that i see mine about 3x a year and we keep it kinky
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:27 (four years ago) link
In 2005, I was fucking a painter.
A house painter.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:28 (four years ago) link
When I was a painter I painted you wellToo bad I have to dieYou brought the essentials, perversion appealAnd many lovers at one time
― surm, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:30 (four years ago) link
― surm, Tuesday, November 5, 2019 4:26 PM (ten minutes ago)bookmarkflaglink
omg wait what! i do not have grindr
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 5 November 2019 21:37 (four years ago) link
is someone using my picture to catfish...