zing

autofellatiography

Just kill me now

I just don't think "I signed up for a sex scene class and then the sex turned out to be really uncomfortable" is grounds for a lawsuit or the same thing as a producer raping an actress in a hotel room. It's gross and stupid but also really predictable.

― Οὖτις, Thursday, October 31, 2019 5:58 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Shakey I know you have a shtick but you're being dense

― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, October 31, 2019 6:06 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://i.imgflip.com/3ewkfm.jpg

― The Mandymoorian (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, October 31, 2019 6:14 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

worth the effort

lol

solid effort tbh

crying at NA dunking on Morbs. the whiney thing is pretty amazing too.

sorry if this ruins it but that comment wasn't targeting morbs specifically, it really was a broad comment directed at 80% of the people posting in that thread that just happened to come after a morbs post

Flag post

from a Dungeons and Dragons thread:

Oh the flashbacks this all causes...

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, October 12, 2010 8:14 PM (nine years ago) bookmarkflaglink

from last night?

― scott seward, Tuesday, October 12, 2010 8:15 PM (nine years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Nice wholesome zings.

nerd raggett

(whether it's an accurate take or not) it seemed extremely gauche for the guy who inserted himself into Biggie songs to then monetize Biggie's death. and then to do that while ripping off (there's sampling, and then there's ripping off) a very well-known hit, his seemingly only contribution being his limp, emotionless vocals...was a bridge to far for most.

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Monday, December 23, 2019 4:52 PM bookmarkflaglink

It’s kind of sad with you around

― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Monday, December 23, 2019 5:15 PM bookmarkflaglink

"And there is truth to scruton’s critique of modernism."

there is truth to your mom as well

― calzino, Thursday, February 6, 2020 6:45 PM

otm

This is out of context

https://i.ibb.co/VBQsxtp/1464251838-open-goal-MAIN.jpg
upload images

from the "let's write some lyrics in the style of CRASS thread":

(verse)
I can freeze an I cube and make a cup of tea
I can walk around the block and I can squash a flea
I can fall down on the stairs and break my f_ing knee
And everyone's a clueless c-nt except for f-ing ME!
(chorus)
Yes you are, yes you are
Cos you drive a f-ing car!
You are part of the machine
Choking us with gasoline!

― rattusnorvegicus (ratty!!), Friday, September 8, 2006 1:48 AM bookmarkflaglink

yeah, that sucked.
― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Friday, September 8, 2006 2:05 AM bookmarkflaglink

sorry, September 8 2006 was a bad day for me

Always remember

You don't need to bother with Departed, really. It's pretty much a comically overblown genre exercise that bores more than it amuses.

― Frederik B, Sunday, January 22, 2017 9:18 AM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

much like Fred

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Sunday, January 22, 2017 9:35 AM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

get em

zing apparently a dish best served three and a half years late when the zingee has left the board

Chef's kiss

Yep

xp - I'm the guy that appreciates a good zing when I see one, you must be the other guy.

https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/26884

Remember when Carter opened up Tutankhamen's tomb and discovered the earliest recorded zing

500 year old dril tweet

stet, your comparison made perfect sense. this is a moral panic.

― treeship., Monday, August 10, 2020 9:29 PM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Oh go and save an orphanage, Mr Goody Two Shoes.

― Young Boys of Bernie (Tom D.), Monday, August 10, 2020 9:31 PM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i noticed an obscure bug today.

1) click through to a youtube link
2) start watching the video in the in-app browser
3) put the video full-screen
4) rotate your phone so that it's horizontal

zing quits.

i bet most people's youtube opens in the youtube app tho. i think mine doesn't because i don't have a google account.

sounds like you're being .....
....
..

zinged

by zing

😎 YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Guinness is bad. It's like a version of a thing for people who think they like that thing but don't really know what that thing is because all they can ever find is that thing they think is the thing. Like Budweiser.

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, October 16, 2020 10:32 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Oooh tell me more Professor Beer on second thought eat my room temperature ass

Bragging about being as beer snob in 2020 is so lame it's incredible

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Saturday, October 17, 2020 8:33 AM bookmarkflaglink

stealing for dn - classic

http://i.imgur.com/owc9MiN.png
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, March 16, 2021 2:50 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

the best

looool

for real the grammies are fucking awful tho

the idea of the grammys is to be lame. there needs to be a shitty, soulless corporate mainstream, otherwise there is nothing one can define oneself against.

sometimes you guys just sound like a bunch of jagaloons

when i was like eight and my dad got his first grammy nomination, the academy sent him two big rolls of 2 inch by 2 inch stickers with "GRAMMY NOMINATED" and then the statuette image that he was meant to stick on the LPs before selling them and he only got through most of one roll. I used to go to Sam Goody and put them on WASP and Too Short albums before such a thing seemed conceivable.

I want to hear more about this.

oof, brutal zing, jed. too far, honestly.

I am drunk and confused.

i do too! What did your dad win the Grammy for, forks?

he didn't!

make me a mod, i will bring back righteous comedy modding

― imago, Monday, March 22, 2021 7:29 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

So you've now taken to two threads to whine about one thread. Cool

― "Salvation Army FUCK!" (Neanderthal), Monday, March 22, 2021 7:45 AM (forty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

So you've now taken to two threads to whine about one thread. Cool

Not sure you’re the person to comment on repetition being annoying tbf
― Scamp Granada (gyac), Monday, March 22, 2021 8:17 AM (fifteen minutes ago)

https://res.cloudinary.com/teepublic/image/private/s--7XWeuyA1--/t_Resized%20Artwork/c_fit,g_north_west,h_1054,w_1054/co_ffffff,e_outline:53/co_ffffff,e_outline:inner_fill:53/co_bbbbbb,e_outline:3:1000/c_mpad,g_center,h_1260,w_1260/b_rgb:eeeeee/c_limit,f_auto,h_630,q_90,w_630/v1502905273/production/designs/1826195_1.jpg

Good lord, I don't think I've ever seen this thread but a lot of the original posts reek of "don't you dare peg me as someone that reads Pitchfork! I listen to 67% shitty popular radio music along with my 33% canonical indie rock". Do people actually start becoming themselves further down or does it continue on like that up until the present day?

― zacata, Monday, March 22, 2021 1:12 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

why don’t you just post your own 11 favourite songs of the moment, fuck

― Blick, Bils & Blinky • Let's Skip The Shaker Intros (breastcrawl), Monday, March 22, 2021 1:21 PM (one hour ago)

first of all, how do you even get those percentages from 11