what's happening to our borad TMI

Is he jacking off or ... idgi

He's wiping his ass with a put upon rodent

Describe the rodent

It's a shit-stained guinea pig with a Queens accent saying "you think you got it bad? This guy just wiped his ass with me!"

I’ve found the best, cleanest single-seater bathroom in my work neighborhood and I’m quite proud of my discovery but I will never tell anyone

courtesy flush = shit sitting in the bowl is so awful you flush before your business is finished to remove the offending object before you poop more or do your paperwork

it also can help hide bad noises, but in this case, the smell

The key is to also hook strings to the other unoccupied toilets to nake them alternate flushes so you create a relaxing ocean sound for the other users

Prehistoric courtesy flush = you murder the guinea pig before it has a chance to bellyache to your neighbor

I sometimes wonder wtf these people are eating

Thinking of you, Dr. M.

I’m always eating super spicy garbage and washing it down with high gravity beers, so my search for the ideal latrine of solitude is (was) altruistic as well as being a personal goal.

one of the bathrooms i often use in the building i work in is now "all genders" and i feel self-conscious dropping a big gross deuce in the adjacent stall to a woman

― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver)

suck it up buddy

Double gross

Women’s toilets are disgusting Jim, that’s not going to rank in the top 100 worst things that happens in there that day

I'm in favour of all gender bathrooms (I'm friendly with an NB person who was one of the people who campaigned for them to be introduced at our university) and not complaining,it's just an observation of what is ultimately a silly personal foible based on personal insecurity

i definitely thought gender segregated bathrooms were more or less about making sure that someone you might want to fuck doesn't hear you take a big noisy shit. but of course that only works for the straights. single seaters are the only real way forward here afaict

Which then leads to awkward walk-ins when the person sitting on the can forgets to lock the door.

I'm friendly with an NB person

initially read this as 'new brunswick person'

I'm in favour of all gender bathrooms (I'm friendly with an NB person who was one of the people who campaigned for them to be introduced at our university) and not complaining,it's just an observation of what is ultimately a silly personal foible based on personal insecurity

― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver)

yeah, i didn't want to totally be dismissive considering one of the reasons i'm holding out for an all-genders bathroom is not wanting to make cis people uncomfortable by using a gendered bathroom, but for real bathrooms are a challenge for me, and part of that challenge is worrying about cis bathroom panic

so there's this great combination of being on a pretty strong diuretic and trying desperately to hold it whenever i go anywhere

fortunately for me my social anxiety means that i have a hard time going out anywhere in public for any length of time

all public bathrooms should have white noise or music piped in. Or have those japanese optional buttons to make sounds in your stall.

women's public bathrooms are disgusting. it's because of all the hovering and the blood/hormonal poop explosions.

My mate selection rubric includes a column for how raunchy and insidious their splats are.

two different festivals I went to had all gender bathrooms and the differences were striking, mostly because of the crowd

the first was in a space where they obviously just rebranded the man/woman restrooms as generic. It took me until the third visit to realize one of them had urinals. I stand at one, only to be startled as the door opens then immediately slams shut multiple times. It turns out that when you open the door, the first thing you see is the backs of people standing at urinals so it was women opening the door and then going "nope!" before wandering to the other.

The second was at somewhere with restroom lines, and one restroom had urinals at a weird spot where, after turning the corner, you immediately got a side view of all the urinals, no dividers or blocking walls. But there were as many people going into stalls in groups (hmmmm) as women searching out a usable stall. So I guess everyone saw my junk, but they were probably more interested in their business, anyway

somewhere in a restaurant in a ski resort in france there is a unisex toilet with cubicles and sinks and urinals, barely hidden behind a divider and with a mirror on the opposite wall.

I was also irritated that the one time I actually needed to sit on a real toilet was when all these shady characters were hanging out in groups in the toilets and I ended up with the single stall in the entire venue that was MISSING A TOILET SEAT

I was desperate and now know what it's like to hover, and will be avoiding hovering for the rest of my life

unisex bathrooms are pretty normal here in France, not ubiquitous but common

er, maybe unisex isn't what I mean, un-gendered is what I mean, whereas everyone just uses the same bathroom, regardless of gender identity

toilet stall walls that go all the way to the floor and up considerably higher than normal are essential

also, none of the doors with a large enough gap between the door and frame to see in, please

maybe one of those helpful indicators when the stall door is locked by showing green/red

When i was a kid I was doing some bus tour of taiwan and I distinctly remember us making a rest stop. I went in through the women's bathroom door which was right next to the men's door, but both doors went into the same room.

My mom's family's house only had an outhouse bathroom where the squat toilet hole just opened down the side of the mountain. It had a lot of spiders and lizards. It was terrifying.

in one of the buildings in which I teach, the ungendered bathrooms have one room with two urinals but there's no door to this room, which is a little more hardcore than usual, but whatever, it's not like watching someone take a piss should be that big a deal, particularly when you just see them from the back

toilet stalls are completely walled off from one another, so there aren't peeping worries generally

In our bathrooms at work, there is a gap between the back wall and the back of the stall that's a little bigger than it should be.

The mirrors are unfortunately positioned to where one could inadvertently see a reflection of someone sitting on the near toilet if you turned your head the right way.

People began to notice and complain about it and nothing was done. There were no peeping tom issues or anything, but people felt uncomfortable.

For about two years, someone in the bathroom on my floor was filling the gaps with toilet paper origami. Like he was wasting sheets and sheets of TP and making little TP bouquets and other things and shoving them in the gaps in the toilet.

It stopped eventually so I assume he either stopped worrying or got fired for wasting massive TP.

ime American toilet cubicles in general have massive gaps around the doors and under/ over, compared to UK. I think I first used one in SF airport and thought it must be a security thing (??!) but no, just an American thing.

the funniest thing about the restrooms in the building I currently work in is that the floor is too shiny. I tend to ignore it, but coworkers who can't assure me that they can see the outline of the guy in the next stall looking at his phone on the toilet

in one of the (gendered) restrooms in my building the tile wall is too shiny and the gap between the cubical frame and the wall is such that you can fully see dudes sitting on the crapper by accident while at the urinals

don't wanna say I'm constipated, but let's just say the bible virus about a camel passing through the eye of a needle is feeling very relevant atm

I broke my leg recently and was on narcotics for over a month, the longest I’ve had to take them. Good lord, I just about had to take a nap after some of those workouts.

And by workouts, I mean massive slow-motion creaking shits.

Had takeout BBQ for lunch, and now my piss really smells like BBQ sauce.

Full-term neonates come through the other door, but the traffic through this door?

I shit too much. always have done. my ex-wife suggested maybe I have ibs. I did nothing about it.

anyway, I'm turning 36 soon. I decided that perhaps it's time to solve this issue. so I have limited my diet. from experience I have an inkling that the following cause issues for me:

nightshades, legumes, coffee.

I've also cut out wheat, as my brother is coeliac and there is a genetic element.

I was vegan for many years so know that not consuming dairy does not help me in this regard.

result:

I'm now shitting like a normal person. sometimes once a day, sometimes twice.

I'm going to reintroduce the possible culprits one by one, starting in a few weeks. I don't know who to root for out of nightshades and gluten for NOT being the guilty party. in any case it looks like bruschetta is off the menu. I sort of assume the guilt of legumes, and while I love them and they have played a large part of my diet for years, I would not miss them as much as tomatoes, eggplants, wheat noodles, San Francisco sourdough, etc.

oh and caffeinated coffee is definitely a no-go-area for me. my gf got me a caffeinated cappuccino instead of a decaf the other day and it had the expected result

what is the downside of shitting too much? asking for a friend.

Shitting: too much > not enough

what is the downside of shitting too much? asking for a friend.

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, May 27, 2020 10:14 AM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

hemorrhoids/generally irritated arsehole. inconvenience (having to rush to the bathroom to shit at inopportune times). dehydration.

Grumbly guts.

Being bloated and having a fat stomach all the time and/or stomach cramps, which is the stage before the shits, which are by that time probably a great relief.

bloated, big bag of bloatation

yeah definite bloating and abdominal discomfort as quotidian state of being

My husband has something similar, jim, and it’s miserable - he’s had it most of his life, has tried to get diagnosis/medical treatment to no avail. Various diets haven’t effected any improvement. Everyone insists it’s gluten and/or dairy but he’s mostly vegan and we spent two weeks in Italy a couple years ago, where he ate way more bread and pasta than usual plus cheese and gelato. I’ve done lots of research on this for him and it’s a really understudied area of health.

Recticare is great for pain around an inflamed butt; a portable bidet bottle is useful for travel; Metamucil can help (he eats an extremely high fiber diet but also takes like 12 Metamucil caps a day and def notices things are worse if he doesn’t). He’s also had some success with this supplement called Endefin, when things are really bad. Apparently it tastes horrendous but does help.

The “quotidian state of being” re stomach pain etc is otm. It’s a really horrible condition to live with, esp because it’s such a TMI subject.

I took a late shower today and had picked up my clothes to smell my t-shirt to see if I should change it or put it back on, which is how I ended up inadvertently mashing my own dirty underwear in my face and taking a huge sniff.

Started ADHD medication ( which is like hen's teeth for adults in the UK ) and feeling alternately great and fucked. keep drinking my normal amount of coffee forgetting I've already got plenty of stimulant coursing thru. And alcohol hangovers seem worse.