PMs change and lol we're all gonna die (but brexit will never end)

comrade alphabet to thread

Twitter live 4pm and Facebook live 430 today from Westminster for any questions thoughts around the next few days of voting - or indeed last votes such as Letwin amendment - speak to you then - and best wishes from Camberwell... pic.twitter.com/SAn3RwEQtF

— Rory Stewart (@RoryStewartUK) October 21, 2019

is it too much to ask that rory falls down a manhole or steps in front of a speeding 18-wheeler while doing one of his trademark livestreams

still, i imagine he had a lot of practice in mindful pacing when he walked across afghanistan and actually also did u know he speaks dari

"are you just pretending to hold your phone?"

“ کمکم کنید...!” as he falls down the manhole

^ the best Tintin panel Hergé never drew

Jeremy Corbyn: “Our sympathies with the manhole-cover manufacturers of Neenah, WI at this difficult time.”

james blunt has broken his silence on brexit - perhaps he can provide the clarity this fractured nation is crying out for in this difficult time

“For soldiers, the whole end game is always peace,” he says. “How can we stop people killing people so we can all go home at the end of the day alive to our families. That means understanding people’s differences. I feel the same way with politics today. There’s a left and a right and most humans are surely in the middle.”

But we were all asked to vote, I say.

“And it was pretty close. We’re chewing ourselves up on this question, because neither side is understanding why people reached these opinions. Why is it we can’t even have a dialogue about it?”

Well, what was his view?

“I think it’s pretty much bulls**t. It’s all a political thing. I’m going to carry on touring through Europe whatever happens. Rather than having a title on it, my call to arms would be ‘get the f*** on with it’, because our lives aren’t going to change. My tour manager is going to be pissed off he has to fill in a few more forms, but whatever you do, get on with it, because the limbo is killing us.”

But you don’t want to say how you voted?

“No. I don’t want to be given the label.”

... oh

(btw my wife is a touring musician and the orchestras she plays with are shitting bricks over how much more difficult european tours are gonna be after brexit but maybe we can all learn something from james 'blunt' cunt)

is it too much to ask that rory falls down a manhole or steps in front of a speeding 18-wheeler while doing one of his trademark livestreams

I'd settle for having him walk into a lamp post.

roryfallingthruthebar.gif

meanwhile Arlene is fuming as NI gets closer to giving women and gay people the same rights as - checks notes - the rest of the UK. Surely no connection to her objections to the Johnson WA

There's an ever diminishing number of cakes for them to have and eat.

I'm still waiting for the day Rory goes on a deep in the streets safari and takes a selfie chasing some gear with a tinfoil tooter in his mouth next to a fully qualified lifer

I hope I’m wrong but I think my business is letting the public down every day... more on Insta/IGTV (clivetyldesley)... pic.twitter.com/d9HEA8uQwZ

— Clive Tyldesley (@CliveTyldesley) October 20, 2019

Cunt's take on good old Tommy Troop reeks of shit as well.

Yeah I bet he’s got some Johnny Mercer likes in his account.

I feel the same way with politics today. There’s a left and a right and most humans are surely in the middle.”

Yes, never used to be any of this left and right business before.

Wealthy tory voter advocates for yet another new centrist party that he won't vote for anyway

Bercow is really milking this decision.

lol pwned

The House of Commons speaker John Bercow has ruled that he will not permit MPs to have a ‘meaningful vote’ on Boris Johnson’s Brexit deal today.

“My ruling is that the motion will not be debated today as it would be repetitive and disorderly to do so,” he told MPs.

vmic

Get tae France wi' yer meaningless vote, ya wallopers. To paraphrase.

Honestly if he could have done the thumbs down thing he would have

Bill Cash banging on about the European Communities act again, fuck this I’m out

repetitive and disorderly

Sounds about right.

they have truly drunk the kool aid on that april strong man poll

Jacob Rees-Moog says the government expects to conclude passing the Brexit bill through the Commons in just three days and MPs won’t even need to sit on Friday. The Maastricht Treaty took months.

— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) October 21, 2019

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/oct/21/tory-mps-reluctant-to-attach-customs-union-to-brexit-bill

Soft Brexit Tories are erm softening and might back Johnson's bill as it stands, as I thought they might.

However many pro-deal lab MPs may want the customs amendment...basically Jared will need to get another lift to the commons.

it's pretty impressive how all these sensible grown-up Remain Tories have folded as predicted, apparently content with the tiniest figleaf possible

what happens if the programme motion fails?

"basically Jared will need to get another lift to the commons"

driving pissed oops-a-daisy 2 - the edgar wright brexit movie nobody wanted

can't believe this shitshow deal is going to pass

RIP to the Union

that I hear everyone cares about

mostly nutters tbh

Calz’ MP sounds wonderful:

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/oct/21/mp-paula-sherriff-jo-cox-murder-humbug-interview

She's not a Corbyn fan but hasn't made it her raison d'etre to publicly undermine him at every possible opportunity. I like her a lot.

my partner has umpteen parliamentary letters from her office, which means a lot to her seeing as her mobility is seriously diminished these days - it's easy to be cynical about this stuff but she genuinely seems to gaf.

I can't read 'WAB' without thinking about this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbJ6AW9ZK-o

Much more appropriate, frankly.

WAB is what Caitlin Moran calls boobs.

can't believe this shitshow deal is going to pass

All eyes on the programme motion now

?! I thought the deal was voted down on Saturday

they didn't vote on the deal on saturday because before the deal was voted on an amendment to the deal was voted on, and passed, which required the prime minister to write to the european commission asking for an extension until january 31st

what happens if the programme motion goes down?

CU amendment looks DOA

Hear whole Tory One Nation grouping agreed tonight not to back customs union amendment

— Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak) October 21, 2019

needs a lot of the 89 who abstained last time (including the SNP) to back it

WAB is what Caitlin Moran calls boobs.

My constituency is OxWAb!

I haven't paid any attention to anything today and I'm not sure I can bear to start now. I guess I've reached the stage everyone else reached 3 years ago and decided that "just getting on with it" was the way out of that stage. *twitches*

RIP CU amendment, you were what once seemed like still a pretty fucking hard Brexit and was now seeming like the softest possible Brexit, and now you're not even a possible Brexit?

Is it really the first time the whole withdrawal agreement bill has been published? We never saw May’s right?!

they didn't vote on the deal on saturday because before the deal was voted on an amendment to the deal was voted on, and passed, which required the prime minister to write to the european commission asking for an extension until january 31st

I'm so confused