Ask TOMBOT

1. rank the hershey's traditional assorted bag: mr goodbar; hershey bar; special dark; and krackel.

1. special dark (manly)
2. krackel
3. hershey bar
4. mr. goodbar (don't like peanuts).

2. where's the best beach youve ever been to in the world?

This is just like the movie/song/album questions. Probably Amelia Island, GA. Never been to any beaches in California! I have been to Normandy, though, and you can still see the shapes of craters in the ground.

3. should i move to SF in october 08?

Didn't you already decide to do that a while ago? Or is this more of a permanent thing than just one year or whatever? If you did I would be pretty jealous. Which means you should do it.

4. do you believe in god?

Sometimes I kind of wish I did.

5. im not even gonna pretend i understand computers

That's okay! The world would probably be better if less people did.

6. whats your all-time favorite ILX thread?

I think the one where slocki put peanut m&ms in the toaster oven. I laughed and laughed.

7. you like obama right?

see upthread! this has been addressed!

Do you prefer it when other people recommend books for you, or you recommend books for others?

Also, if you were in a film, who would play you?

Big Endian or Little Endian?

Whatever gets the job done. Asking for directions to my gate in German? Little Endian. Practically everything else? Big Endian. I am built with switchable hardware.

Do you prefer it when other people recommend books for you, or you recommend books for others?

I'm not sure I understand this one. I recommend books to others quite a bit. I don't have much luck with books that other people recommend to me, to be honest, it seems to work better if I just show up to your house, find some random tome lying around, and ask to borrow it.

Also, if you were in a film, who would play you?

Luke Wilson

I think the one where slocki put peanut m&ms in the toaster oven. I laughed and laughed.

man picturing you laughing and laughing over this is like how awesome that one scene in freaks and geeks is where bill is laughing so much at garry shandling or steve martin on TV

Hey Tombot,

Since people like to ask you questions re: professional development, I'll throw in.

(A) I kinda hate my internet retail job right now, but I am pretty competent member of the 3-person retail team, and our sales have been increasing pretty substantially this year. I figure I might stick around for a while so I can show like a 100% increase in sales during my time here, but will prospective employers actually give a shit? I've been here 3+ years already.

(B) Despite my lack of ability to sew and of any design experience, I have a secret desire to be some sort of product developer / apparel designer / rockstar haberdasher. There's a good apparel & textile design program at local college -- should I follow my dream?

Thanks for your consideration,
elmo

A) all I know about sales is that motherfuckers expect you to perform and by that they want to know how much you made in commissions. Around here I see ads where they don't even seem to give a shit what you were selling at your last job, just that you put down well into the six figures for a couple years running. So yeah, if that's your business, I would assume they'll give a shit. "internet retail" unfortunately is not something I'm familiar with except as a vehicle for me to get stuff done while avoiding interaction with other human beings and also crime

B) can you take night classes? hell yes, fool. At the very least you will learn how to make your own hats which could probably get you laid.

TOM, WHERE DID I PUT MY DRUGS????

Hey Tom,

Should I teach English or go the internets route Assistant Editing some twelfth-tier marketing blog?

chicago: wherever you forgot to leave them from the time before. Sticking to booze and tobacco has the advantage of never having to really ask yourself this question. at least not in a challenging style.

BIG: Teach. Duh.

A: IN YR BODY

i think someone stole them.

Portland, OR or Portland, ME?

I prefer beer to lobster TBH

portland ME has some good beers too.

THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS!

Sorry, a little context might be in order.

Check out the bear cam at the bottom. Haw.

I prefer beer to lobster

whao thats a tough one. i mean if i had to give one up 4 eva obv fuck loabstah. but if someone walked up to me w/a lobster in one hand and a beer in the other id take the lobster every time. unless maybe it kept happening. then eventually id switch to beer.

i kind of want to move to portland, me
the only problem is that i would have to hang out with my mom all the time and would be so lonely.

i guess i should rephrase that as a question.

tombot should i move to portland, me?

In Portland, ME, pedestrians rule the earth.

I rode the mail boat for three hours and never got bored with it.

the mailboat that goes to peake's island? i went to a reggae concert on peake's this summer. it was what you would expect from a maine reggae festival.

MAINE LOVES 2 REGGAE like MASSACHUSETTS LOVES 2 SKA

Probably that same mailboat. We hit a lot of islands.

well, ms labs, do you think YOU could get bored of riding the mail boat?

sometimes I think of moving to the mountains and living in a big cabin type joint, but then I remember that I am a slob and it would become terrible. I am not ready for the country mouse stage of my life yet, not by a long shot. But maybe you are! Try it for two weeks and see how hateful and miserable you become.

i'm not gonna do it any time soooon. portland is blood diamonds tho

that damn ice storm a decade ago turned me off portland forever.

does the topless donut place still exist?

i believe so!

info?

i have heard tales of these fabled titty donuts.

guys does anybody have a question for me or are you just going to keep updating this thread to chat about maine

ME in general is blood diamonds

i think mark's topless donut shop is still open...it was the daytime version of mark's showplace, which changed it's name to platinum plus a couple years ago...i don't know if the donut shop name changed too or what. i have other priorities when i go home, like DUCKFAT FRIES.

SORRY TOMBOT :X

i got sonned by a drainage ditch in a gravity beef on the side of rte 95 in south portland once. bounced from mark's showplace during a bachelor party.

STFU YANKEES

tombot, i got a question. what kind of external hard drive should i get for my music/writing files? i have the laptop and the old emac so should i get one of those wireless hard drive thingies? i don't backup shit at all which i know is very dumb

TOM:

Should I get a handgun? There have been several robberies on my block in the last few months.

secondary question: if not a handgun, perhaps a shotgun? If yes, should I get a bedside shotgun rack? (http://www.the-backup.com/)

IJ

I don't backup shit either. I finally hired a housekeeper though so maybe backing up computer stuff is right around the corner! But you should avoid the Iomega Storcenter, from what I've just read about it on the internet, and also because Iomega just generally sucks. I've heard of quite a few people using Mac Minis as wireless storage solutions, I could ask my pal Josh for more info about that.

Ian: having a loaded weapon in your home just vastly increases the chances that you will die from a gunshot wound, it does not decrease the chances of being robbed to any degree. A much, much better investment would be to see about getting ADT or Brinks for your apartment or apartment building, often they will set you up for free if you agree to let them advertise on your front stoop or wherever, which of course is 95% of the deterrent anyway.

or get a big doggy

If you are worried about getting mugged, then maybe take some krav maga classes and start carrying a nightstick.

OR GET DOGGY

I remember seeing once a dude on rollerblades just hauling around an aluminum ball bat with him. No glove, no other sign of possibly going to participate in softball or baseball anywhere, just carrying the bat over one shoulder.

Tom:

What do you do when you just want to kick back and relax?

sometimes i atak rollerbladers

roxy, I am still trying to figure that one out since I've realized I am too old and have too many responsibilities to be drinking until 2am for half the nights out of the week.

I think for Xmas I am going to ask for a bunch of magazine subscriptions so I always have something to read around the house that doesn't take as much time as books, and I think I'm going to upgrade my netflix, because I would probably be better served by watching movies and reading news than by zoning out with playstation or comforting detective TV all the time. Even when I'm relaxing I feel better if my relaxation involves learning about new things.

tombot who would win in a fight between bruce willis with numchcuks vs. a stormtrooper on rollerblades with an aluminum baseball bat

Tombot, does your housekeeper clean out the litter box?

Even if there's pee on the floor?

you are leaving out a lot of variables I consider important. If I assume the stormtrooper is approaching at speed on his skates and prepared to just clothesline the shit out of mr. willis Mailbox Baseball style then def. the stormtrooper - OTOH with proper timing, Bruce could just as easily duck into a somersault and clip his would-be assailant's ankles with the 'chucks leading to a spectacular make-out session with the pavement