Your 'wacky' BBC news caption of the day

"When we realized what had happened," said the chief constable, "we just burst out laughing. Andouille couldn't stop."

Damn, andouille's made from pork.

The farmer called the police on his mobile. He has a contract with Phones4Ewe.

ARGH

Despite rumours, there is no video footage on EweTube.

This follows on from an incident last week, where several Premiership footballers were accused of roasting a sheep.

"At first when he called, he gave us wrong directions. He may have been trying," the constable added with a chuckle, "to pull the wool over our eyes."

The man was also believed to have been listening on his iP0d to the Pink Fl0yd track "Careful With That Axe Ewe-gene".

Reports that another four men were seen running from the scene are still unconfirmed. It is believed the suspect was not acting alone, and they had been planning to give the animal a roasting.

His iPod is also said to contain another Pink Floyd track, from a later, less-acclaimed album. The track is called "The Post War Dream".

The court heard that the defendant had also recently been denied a visa by the Australian government.

Why did he do it? Haggis (I guess) we'll never know...

The other sheep were taken into protective custody last night, due to rumours in the criminal underworld that they had grassed.

The police suspected that the man was a "small holder".

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41089000/jpg/_41089622_saddam_afp_203body.jpg

^^ why was this never made into a meme?

The man admitted that the experience had been near the knuckle and that he had been a chump.

could write THIS under Saddam

"LATEST: Swiss adventurer Yves Rossy becomes the first person to fly solo across the English Channel using a single"

It'd have to be one of those 12" gatefold ones, I guess...

And the winner is... who?

Largely unknown in Britain and the US, the winner of the most feted prize in literature has much he us.

um, what?

"Ich bin ein Bearliner" Star bear Knut to stay in Berlin Zoo

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/arts_and_culture/8616951.stm

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/47635000/jpg/_47635915_pope_getty226b.jpg
Faryl Smith (L) is the youngest artist to receive a double nomination

Spain 'orgasm' video criticised by politicians

(Number one on the "BBC News Most Popuar" list)

That's not even the most wtf thing about that article.

An anti-racism group, SOS Racismo, says it has complained to the public prosecutor about a video game by the Popular Party, in which Alicia Sanchez-Camacho takes on the guise of film and video game heroine Lara Croft to fight illegal immigrants and pro-independence Catalans.

Richard III dig bones 'like king'

I mean, what does this even mean?

DNA tests on 'Richard III' bones

That's better.

a barbed iron arrow head in the area of the spine.

"I used to be King of England but then I took an arrow to the spine."

Richard III dig bones 'like king'

"dig" as a noun, i.e. archaeological dig

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2008/08/10/isaac460x276.jpg
"Shaft (of an arrow in the spine)! Can you dig it?"

"Who is the King, who will murder two Princes in the Tower?"
"Richard!"
"Damn right!"

"Who is the man, who's not shaped for sportive tricks?"
"Richard!"
"Right on!"

oh boy, digging, that's where i'm a viking.

Play set in women's toilet a hit
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-19615806

BBC 'regrets Queen disclosure' New

The BBC apologises for revealing that the Queen raised concerns with ministers about the activities of the radical cleric Abu Hamza.

In fact, we'd all like you to forget we even mentioned it....

Nazi Buddha originally from space
...on the BBC News front page.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-19735959
The actual headline on the page is the rather saner:
Ancient statue discovered by Nazis is made from meteorite

Yeah, saw that and would have added it but touchpad copy/paste is arse.

A 21-year-old is awarded a Military Cross for bravery in Afghanistan after being shot in the helmet.

ow

Baby heroin attack father jailed

Canvey Island school bans triangle shaped flapjacks

the sun's headline for this was good, though fell just short of greatness imo

Sun in 'actually quite funny' shocka...

" myView

By ANDY McNAB,Sun Security Adviser"

Mussolini's Gay Island

Table-dancing MP breaks foot in Soho

really hate their current trend for moronic features in which the headline is a (very dumb) question.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23030090

how do pieces like this keep getting the green light? i mean, this wouldn't even be published by anywhere else, let alone put on their front page as their lead feature.

it's just a collection of other people's claims with no new facts and an extremely vague newshook. and they are doing two or three features as poor as this every week.

it's not even properly subbed:

If claims about the total amount of porn online are worth questioning because further analysis suggests the same about figures for how much traffic those sites generate.

'I won’t be intimidated by 6ft 8in Pole'

Will there ever be another massive tank battle?

Antony Beevor, author of The Second World War

that's quite a credit

Shouldn't he be in prison or something?

That must have been a hard sell at the publishers.

Publisher: "So, what's your book about then?"
Beevor: "This failed art student with a Charlie Chaplin moustache and one testicle starts another world war."