just going to plonk myself here for a bit. i can’t really say why, but sometimes i feel like a form of madness is crawling round my brain, or i feel utterly bereft and foolish. lear is about the best portrait of this stuff there is. the childlike and raging. what do you do with these feelings? what a mess. building is so hard and impermanent when you’re a certain type. the requirement of relentless focus. and a slip in concentration sees you back at the bottom of the well again.
a desire both for sociability and to be on a distant rocky strand. or curled up on a sofa.
― Fizzles, Monday, 7 October 2019 19:46 (four years ago) link
Lear is a good shout, encroaching incapacity when you're supposed to be travelling in the other direction. Of course we have to assume he was a capable ruler at some point? Whereas I feel like the impermanence you're talking about is tied into a sense of never having had meaningful competence, or always having been too close to the well.
I'm not sure I can do sociable without drink inside me tbh, so the sofa(bed) it is.
― Goose Witherspeen (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 October 2019 20:08 (four years ago) link
just going to plonk myself here for a bit. i can’t really say why, but sometimes i feel like a form of madness is crawling round my brain, or i feel utterly bereft and foolish. lear is about the best portrait of this stuff there is. the childlike and raging. what do you do with these feelings? what a mess. building is so hard and impermanent when you’re a certain type. the requirement of relentless focus. and a slip in concentration sees you back at the bottom of the well again. a desire both for sociability and to be on a distant rocky strand. or curled up on a sofa.
― gyac, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:16 (four years ago) link
things are neither as precarious nor as permanent as they seem the important think is the star of this finnish drama is making the whocareswhodunnit very bearable indeed
― too many cuckth thpoil the broth (darraghmac), Monday, 7 October 2019 20:18 (four years ago) link
i think therefore i uh
Having a semi serious freak out about having washed the kitten (who’d got shite in her tail) and whether if she splashed me and got some in my cut) so afraid I am not really participating in the esoteric mood of this thread to the fullest of my ability tbhbut I like it anyway.
― gyac, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:21 (four years ago) link
we are all in the gutter etc
― too many cuckth thpoil the broth (darraghmac), Monday, 7 October 2019 20:23 (four years ago) link
and some of us are wiping a kittens arse
― gyac, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:25 (four years ago) link
i’m sorry to hear that gyac. i’ve been struggling a bit for a while tbh. and i shouldn’t disregard the fact that i’ve got some amazing people around me (including on here). so i feel lucky. they love and care for me and i feel like i’m letting them down terribly. i thought i’d got on top of things in the past week, but i had a massive, almost deranged mental spiral today. hence lear. it does feel like a battle. it does feel dual. but i’m wary of extrapolating my own psychological make-up and specific context to others. but huge love and support to anyone who feels in that place here. my heart goes out to you all. i don’t often do this stuff here because my circumstances are largely fine and it feels wrong to come in with it. and as i say i’m extraordinarily lucky with the people around me. and i can’t rule out what is probably the main reason for these problems which is that i’m a massive bellend.
― Fizzles, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:26 (four years ago) link
tbf Fizz this thread is not much to do with fine or not fine but largely predicated on bellendery
― Goose Witherspeen (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 October 2019 20:27 (four years ago) link
:) is why i’m here.
― Fizzles, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:27 (four years ago) link
otm
― gyac, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:28 (four years ago) link
all <3
― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:29 (four years ago) link
youre an average bellend at best m8
look at least the nfl game went off well right
― too many cuckth thpoil the broth (darraghmac), Monday, 7 October 2019 20:30 (four years ago) link
at least you ate indoors?
― gyac, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:32 (four years ago) link
Riddle me this: If every day feels like a blue saturday, does it warrant posting in the blue saturday thread?
― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:35 (four years ago) link
at least you ate indoors?do you know, and i say this in the privacy of this thread, that a couple of days later i found my keys in the bag that i had with me when i ate off the bins. in the meantime i had three pairs of keys cut and phoned round a handful of pubs in london to see whether i’d left them there. this is a special sort of parapraxis (which i believe as well as misleading also involves losing stuff)
― Fizzles, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:37 (four years ago) link
youre an average bellend at best m8 look at least the nfl game went off well right
― Fizzles, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:39 (four years ago) link
i lost my bank, credit and leap cards in berlin last october and got them all replaced
found them in my sunglasses case this may
this kinda shit is constantly "happening to me" ie i am feckless about possessions
― too many cuckth thpoil the broth (darraghmac), Monday, 7 October 2019 20:55 (four years ago) link
same. too long to post here (but i may have told it in anecdote) about the time i accidentally took a spare pair of glass to new york so i could lose my main pair in a basement bar in greenwich village.
― Fizzles, Monday, 7 October 2019 20:57 (four years ago) link
I lost my iPod classic with years worth of music on it two years ago after a particularly bad day & I still miss it, so I get you.
― gyac, Monday, 7 October 2019 21:02 (four years ago) link
on the flight from berlin i left a particularly nice tablet in the seat pocket
― too many cuckth thpoil the broth (darraghmac), Monday, 7 October 2019 21:06 (four years ago) link
when i rang the hotel that night to see about the cards (after arguing with aerlingus on the phone for an hour- they dont send cabin crew to look for stuff fyi) the very helpful reception guy cheerfully commentated his search of the room finishing rather fucking gleefully "nope no card oh but look- all your shirts are still in the wardrobe!" reader i couldve shit
― too many cuckth thpoil the broth (darraghmac), Monday, 7 October 2019 21:08 (four years ago) link
lol i left many clothes in a hotel room once. how?!so many kindles, so many airplane pockets. keys and wallets for everyone. come and get them. the thing that frustrates me is the sense that my indifference to material items is linked in some way to a sense of impermanence. carelessness. about everything. attentiveness to the material world and yourself, as if you were a bicycle or a cherished heirloom, seems a way of establishing one’s place. it’s sort of the reverse of the ship of theseus. people see it as a fable questioning essence. but actually, like the broom and its handle (trigger but also beckett iirc), it’s a question of regular repair establishing continuity. care. supposedly the seven-year climacteric is also the period of time it takes for all the molecules in your body to replace themselves. indifference to material items is also indifference to the most important material item - your corpus or corpse. i feel like, for myself only, that losing stuff is an example of not valuing myself enough. and if you don’t value yourself how can you expect others to.
― Fizzles, Monday, 7 October 2019 21:16 (four years ago) link
I was probably just looking for something to panic about last Friday but I was convinced I'd lost my passport. It's usually in one of two spots, and I'm flying out this week and will need it. Did a bunch of tidying and moving stuff around, all while thinking about how I could get an emergency passport appointment and switch my connecting flight.
It was in the third place I'd look, where I'd moved it so I wouldn't forget where I put it.
― mh, Monday, 7 October 2019 21:19 (four years ago) link
(it was not actually the third place I'd look, naturally)
ah, the day-before-flight passport panic, been there
one time I left my passport by the sink in an airport toilet, thankfully a rather obscurely situated one and it was still by some miracle there when I noticed its absence 10 minutes later when my gate opened
has anyone seen my bus card btw? that's the most recent lost object. probably due for a top-up so not a great deal of £ if it's gone but I'll have to go into town and plead with them and pay the replacement fee which I only just got out of paying last summer when I managed to snap the card in half clutching it between thumb and forefinger waiting at a bus stop and apparently getting ~a little too tense~ about whether a bus would turn up in time for my appointment
(it did, and I didn't have a bus card to pay for it with because I'd snapped it, ha ha)
― a passing spacecadet, Monday, 7 October 2019 21:57 (four years ago) link
<3 to Fizzles and all here btw
yes to the avoidance and forever slipping down, wondering how everyone else seems to manage it when months of careful hard work only keeps you where you are and one bad moment wipes it all out again
― a passing spacecadet, Monday, 7 October 2019 22:00 (four years ago) link
oh that buspass story is tragic
(trigger but also beckett iirc
Roger Lloyd-Unpack
― too many cuckth thpoil the broth (darraghmac), Monday, 7 October 2019 22:08 (four years ago) link
the lack of taking care of things we dont care about is imo to be distinguished from the lack of care of things we do care about, which latter is i think what fits what youre saying fizzles
― too many cuckth thpoil the broth (darraghmac), Monday, 7 October 2019 22:10 (four years ago) link
I've been the person who hands in a wallet at the airport (found in the bathroom), glumly aware that this may do more harm than good.
― Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 07:02 (four years ago) link
always the right thing to do imo. certainly the first thing i will think is that someone will have handed it in.
― Fizzles, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 07:10 (four years ago) link
As somebody prone to drunken losing of personal effects, somebody handing something in always reduces my anxiety after the fact.
― Goose Witherspeen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 October 2019 07:48 (four years ago) link
Definitely the right thing to do and I have done this as well.
― gyac, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 09:04 (four years ago) link
oh yeah, handing it in would 100% have been the right thing to do, I was just glad on this occasion that it was still where I left it - but if it had gone I would of course have been immensely relieved that someone had handed it in
also if someone had handed it in, probably at the nearest staffed desk = my gate, and it had ended up inaccessible I would be annoyed at the airport procedures rather than the saint who'd handed it in
(maybe they would just check it against the passenger list, call my name and give it back - though I was fearing there would be reasons, probably even sensible reasons, why not)
the times things of mine have been handed in - wallet left at supermarket, phone dropped in the street - have always greatly restored my faith in humanity
― a passing spacecadet, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 09:49 (four years ago) link
The only time I've lost something that mattered* was the watch my father gave me. He was so disappointed.
* I lose umbrellas to the point that I just get wet now and who knows I might end up with pneumonia one day but it's annoying so I'll take my chances. That's more of a grey area.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:02 (four years ago) link
Pub near work has so many lost umbrellas that never get reclaimed that it’s fairly easy to get one if you’re caught short. I think TFL lost property is like 99% umbrella as well.
― gyac, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:03 (four years ago) link
think if i put in for another replacement bank card in the next few months they'll start asking me questions tbh
glasses are the weirdest things to lose on a bender, you'd think
in the last 12 months i've been definitely targeted and robbed at least once, drinking to the point of that kind of vulnerability ought to be a lesson but well here we are
― Goose Witherspeen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:10 (four years ago) link
somewhere in TFL lost property is a copy of At Swim-Two-Birds that I left on a bus, hope someone just takes it
(i did buy a replacement and finish it)
NV you should invest in a gilet covered in zipper pockets imo
― imago, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:11 (four years ago) link
no amount of zipper pockets is drunk me proof i fear
like the idea of stomping round Hull in a Barbour, boots and shooting stick tho
― Goose Witherspeen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:12 (four years ago) link
I also lost my copy of At-Swim-Two-Birds on a bus, still haven’t read it.NV, can you let on you want a new card with a custom picture?
― gyac, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:13 (four years ago) link
no amount of zipper pockets is drunk me proof i fearlike the idea of stomping round Hull in a Barbour, boots and shooting stick tho
often considered joining the Tories as a deep penetration agent
― Goose Witherspeen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:15 (four years ago) link
you live in yorkshire ;)
― imago, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:16 (four years ago) link
Didn’t need to read the sentence with those two elements in this morning.Shout out to whoever put On My Own by Ulrich Schnauss on the playlist and reminding me of how much I love 1) the song itself and 2) the YouTube video of my favourite model with this song over the top. Good gloomy Tuesday listening imo.
― gyac, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:17 (four years ago) link
xphttps://pbs.twimg.com/media/DtM5qP3X4AIjzj7?format=jpg&name=small
― gyac, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:18 (four years ago) link
i grew up amongst huntin shootin fishin folk too
Radio 3 has been surprisingly decent this morning as long as you tune out the gushing presenter banter god i have got to check my choice of adjectives this morning
― Goose Witherspeen (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:20 (four years ago) link
On My Own was my nomination! :) it'll be pretty high up my ballot, I love it. When I was younger I even put it as my favourite song of the decade in a self-indulgent ILM poll. I didn't know it had a video though!
gyac also a sleeper agent in deepest Tory Kent, they'll change their tune when the roads clog (maybe)
― imago, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:26 (four years ago) link
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ab/bb/7b/abbb7b9bbc91c5975a77419c57f9b5a5.jpg
very important off cut missing from the wall of gammon here.
― calzino, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:26 (four years ago) link
I love On My Own and I kind of love Ulrich Schnauss in general but whenever a Schnauss tune pops up on random I always go "oh it's Happy Cycling by Boards of Canada, oh no it's Ulrich Schnauss, oh it's not even the Ulrich Schnauss tune I thought it was"
saw him twice, once in a nice chill venue with comfy seats and perfect lighting for zoning out to drifty electronic noises and it was brilliant, so I eagerly bought tickets the next time round to see him in the art museum basement thinking that that would also be a nice chill space and it was a horrible place with too many people, nowhere to sit, pillars obscuring the stage and heavy stink of sweat and the soundguy's vape
(said chill perfect venue has also ripped out all its seats and reverted to being just another dark sweaty pub back room, which is too bad as a friend wants to go there this week - the first gig I've ventured out for in ages, if I actually go)
haven't dared look at the poll as I don't have time to think about it properly and also feel bad about how few tracks I can think of from the past decade due to being a) old b) scatterbrained and only ever remembering things I've heard in the past 2 days
― a passing spacecadet, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 10:38 (four years ago) link