Had we but world enough and time, This coyness, lady, would we should ever do.I could never say she, who dost love him well,Doth make such a difference in a man.Not when she is with him, in bed, in the yardTo whisper to his neck, and tell him the news.With her, if she must be with him for a good while,She must not do her best to go abroad with him.But let her stay here a minute when her time is done,Till he comes to have the news told upon his neck.And I will have another to come, though she has done her duty,That doth come out before her to give this good word.In this way, I will not stay to-night upon this bed,If any one might come and tell us the news and our state.And in such a night, she'll not think that she is so ill as when we have begun;For I must have my good husband with us to talk with my sister.I say it
― pomenitul, Saturday, 5 October 2019 15:17 (four years ago) link
Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum, oð þam wé māt, and háte ða ealne mæge (Hwæt! we geardagum in ærne, oððam wé māt, and háte ða ealne mæge)! 1. (S-CHILD). Hwæt! we ealne lange ða ealne mæge (Hwæt! we geardagum in ærne, oððam wé māt, and hát ða ealne mæge)! I am heora geleafan, I am heora ðeow, and heora þeow; wæs nama swilce on eorðan þyssælum, swa swa ðone deofol heora leahta is nama bileh, on ðam eóða ðeow. I am heora gele
― pomenitul, Saturday, 5 October 2019 15:18 (four years ago) link
omg
― imago, Saturday, 5 October 2019 15:19 (four years ago) link
Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote,
That Junele all those shoures that he hade.
No man koude he shoures, or eft he koude hale,
For I woot he yaf he have his ryght eek,
Which sooth, he hadde his ryght eek as meer.
"Yf it so be so, I shal have yow,
Hir sover, and noght to noght so.
"Ybout this I am nowe at this hous,
And eek I was at it on the daye,
As the bokes of eche meke weye
Hadde they soone as I myght yow.
But nowe I pray you that you may,
For we have no place nor good oure stede nowe."
"Abeccedelus," quoth he, "wherefore ye have me telle,
― pomenitul, Saturday, 5 October 2019 15:24 (four years ago) link
legit
― imago, Saturday, 5 October 2019 15:27 (four years ago) link
Ah, you should see Cynddylan on a tractor.Gone the old look that yoked him to the soil,He's a little more like a big, strong dog than a little girl. There's no chance this boy from Ohio will be king of the hill any time soon,But he's always got an iron fist.All the good and all the bad of everything goin' onHe's a lot like one's dog who finds himself in need of a chew toy.And a little like a mule that gets a piece of bread. One side of the story's true, the other, well, that's just the way it is in the country I call home,They say he got a little bit of a temper,It's been awhile, but still I can see it in his eyesAnd his eyes are red as an old red leather.'Cause he hates what he calls the "gook."Oh, and who in the world doesn't know how great a name that is?
― imago, Saturday, 5 October 2019 15:29 (four years ago) link
what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room?
I thought I told her I had the week off. regardless, I hear lots of panting and huffing going on and I'm sort of frozen, because I'd really like to get some lunch but I don't feel like seeing her having sex with one of her guys. What should I do?
Answer: Make a date out of it. There's plenty of room for you in the friendship you're developing right now because you've had something in common over many different social media apps and your phone is more often used as a second screen. You might have been chatting with her on Grindr, while you're trying to get some work done. You can tell her you're going on a date. She'll think she's really trying to make up for lost time and she'll be relieved to have seen your cute smile and maybe even her face turn a little prettier. Even better, she's probably going to be so excited that she'll ask to have a drink with you after, and if that's
― ☮ (peace, man), Saturday, 5 October 2019 17:20 (four years ago) link
Vicious, hey you hit me with a flower. You do it every hour. If you don't, get up. You're a liar, and you're a bad girl for doing that. You're disgusting, hey you're filthy, hey you're filthy. You smell like the inside of my mouth. You're a disgusting, hey your mouth feels so good on me. You, uh, have any idea what I think? Maybe. I don't think it's worth the time with some of my friends, but that's up to you, and you're the only one who knows how this is going to end, so… hey, what're we still fighting about? You want to finish the fight you're in. I think you might need to talk to the police. You're going to have to ask someone to come in and get you out of here. I told you before. Let's go, okay? I think I'm done here. Thank you.
RAW Paste Data
I told you you were going to need to do some convincing, so I brought two guys with me last time, and… uh… they did
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 5 October 2019 20:47 (four years ago) link
I wonder what William S. Burroughs would have made of Talk to Transformer?
Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: your ass. It's called a buster," he says of the faucet's ability to create the most amazing messes imaginable. "But I guess that's where all the fun is, right? I think all that was me having fun."
This week's episode of "Bustin' Bubbles" is available now on KQED.
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 5 October 2019 20:52 (four years ago) link
!
I would make hard financial choices for a Bill B. text-to-voice app
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Monday, 7 October 2019 14:04 (four years ago) link
Herd immunity . Wild rodents and birds carry genetic material that confers immunity against human pathogens. But there is no herd immunity in man. Humans get immune responses from a variety of sources, including drugs and vaccines. Vaccines protect people who are vaccinated but do not prevent those who aren't. This led to their discovery by pharmacologist Benjamin Dahl in 1831, when he observed a local natural epidemic in what is now Uganda. "I must confess that after this momentous discovery I felt the utmost astonishment, incredulity, and indignation," he wrote in a letter to his brother-in-law, Robert Bailie, who suggested that the disease was spread by rats.
Why man immunizes in the first place hasn't been clear
― closed beta (NotEnough), Monday, 30 March 2020 18:26 (four years ago) link
oh, there's a thread for this; I've been doing a... not sure what you'd call it. writing-ish-adjacent project? involving output from it: https://twitter.com/aisoothsaying
― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Monday, 30 March 2020 18:31 (four years ago) link
Et tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar! / For the victory in Battle lies in your hands.
Verse:
Chorus: "Et tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar! / For the victory in Battle lies in your hands."
"Et tu, Brute?" isn't a question at all, it's a statement. The choruses can be used to build excitement, which makes them amazing!
Epic Burner Choruses
[just watch them in the original video]
Romans 5:8
8 To whom God gave the glory to sit on the throne and to give the right hand of fellowship, that in the church of the living God
― narcissistic sleighride (Neanderthal), Monday, 30 March 2020 20:16 (four years ago) link
1901 - Arthur Pryor with Sousa’s Band – The Patriot1902 - Bohumir Kryl - Carnival Of Venice1903 - Joseph Dixon - Hit The Road Charlie1904 - Delbert McClinton - The House On Mango Street1905 - Charles Ives, Heindl & Co – The Phantom Of The Opera1906 - The Duke Of York - Wildwood Flowering1907 - The King's Merry Men - Russian Waltz1908 - Mrs Grace A. Meek - Semper1909 - Robert Frost - Frosty The Snowman1910 - Stirling Moss - Overture To A Summer Day
― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 30 March 2020 20:23 (four years ago) link
Ingredients2 oz Bourbon or rye1 oz Sweet vermouth2 dashes Angostura bitters1 dash Orange bittersGarnish: Brandied cherry
I decided to use the brandy rather than the young rose in this drink to create the pure root flavor. It is a substitution that has worked for me many times in my collection of odd cocktails, I try for simplicity. To me, the single token addition of the young rose, slightly less salty than the brandy, introduces a new dimension to the flavor profile. If you don't want to use brandy, add 1 oz lemon juice instead of the dry vermouth and the lemon peel for a modern twist. 1 ounce Sweet vermouth1
― DJP, Monday, 30 March 2020 20:26 (four years ago) link
pizza sub-poll: DOES CRUST REFER TO BOTTOM OF PIZZA TOO OR JUST EDGE?pizza sub-poll: what is the best pizza base?Pizza sub-poll #3 - is pizza piepizza sub-poll #4 ok well what is pizza thenpizza sub-poll #5: is ILX pizzapizza sub-poll #6 who is the owner of ILX?pizza sub-poll #7: what would you call ILX pizza?pizza sub-poll #8 pizza sub-poll #9: if you could choose one taste that describes pizza piepizza sub-poll #10 which pizza does your girlfriend like?
― imago, Saturday, 30 May 2020 17:05 (three years ago) link
pizza sub-poll #6: what is truffle crust?pizza sub-poll #7 "but pizza is not cheese"pizza sub-poll #8: ...does bottom crust refer to bottom of pizza?pizza sub-poll #9 oh. I thought the worst pizza pizza is pizza alla ciab
― imago, Saturday, 30 May 2020 17:07 (three years ago) link
pizza sub-poll #5: is ILX pizza allowed in Disney Parks?pizza sub-poll #6: if a porterrerette on a sandwich is more magical than a pizza on a bunpizza sub-poll #7 aaarggghh, pizza sub-poll is to much to processPizza sub-poll #8 is the female sidekick ever needed???
― imago, Saturday, 30 May 2020 17:09 (three years ago) link
pizza sub-poll #6: is pizza only pizza?pizza sub-poll #7: does pepperoni pizza need no crust?pizza sub-poll #8: is pizza crust pizza or just thinened?pizza sub-poll #9: why is the pizza anagram?
― imago, Saturday, 30 May 2020 17:10 (three years ago) link
pizza sub-poll #7 aaarggghh, pizza sub-poll is to much to process
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 30 May 2020 17:57 (three years ago) link
1904 - Delbert McClinton - The House On Mango Street
pretty much the sole reason i'm voting 1900 for my cut-off
― budo jeru, Saturday, 30 May 2020 18:00 (three years ago) link
Get ready for a new phase
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/jun/12/elon-musk-backed-openai-to-release-text-tool-it-called-dangerous
― Alba, Friday, 12 June 2020 19:51 (three years ago) link
Chorus
U can't touch this
Verse
My music hits meSo hardMakes me say
I'm gonna kill your wife
(You know I love you)
(I'm going on a rampage) (And I don't think I'm done with you)
I wanna kill your kids
(Chorus)
I know you're gonna have a hard-on every minute of every day
You probably never have a girlfriend
My music hits me
So hard
Makes me say
I'll hit you if I can
Writer(s): NICK MELTON, DAVID POGGETT, BRANDON GARLAND, DAVID THORNLEY, RONALD RUBNER, CHRISTOPHER THOMPSON, KIERON GILBERT, STEVE BRENNANI
― Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Monday, June 3, 2019 1:42 AM bookmarkflaglink
Can someone get on making this song plz
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Thursday, 24 December 2020 16:28 (three years ago) link
wish I could think of someone w/ a bass voice and a guitar in his room at this very moment
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 24 December 2020 16:33 (three years ago) link
Hahaha well...
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Thursday, 24 December 2020 16:34 (three years ago) link
that is incredible
― DJP, Thursday, 24 December 2020 16:36 (three years ago) link
While not normally known for his musical talent, Elon Musk is releasing a debut album under the alias E-dwarf, citing influences including Frank Zappa and Gorillaz, which he described as "quite disturbing".
Musk has not released a solo album before, though he has released music under the alias Kosmic Jesus, under which he released an album in 2003.
Musk has released two albums on the music-sharing site Bandcamp: "Elon Musk – Mars Is Really Cold" in 2016 and "I Write the News for Elon Musk: Elon Musk vs Jeff Bezos" in 2018.
The name E-dwarf comes from one of Musk's earliest
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Thursday, 24 December 2020 16:37 (three years ago) link
In the film Home Alone, there are many scenes where Macaulay Culkin is making an airplane sandwich.It seems as though the act of making the sandwich is very difficult for Macaulay Culkin.There are many gags about him struggling with the sandwich, like how he messes up or doesn't get the knife or the bread or the mustard down just right.Many times Macaulay Culkin even breaks out into his signature scream while he is trying to do the sandwich.
― Wet Pretzels and Other Soggy Snacks (Old Lunch), Thursday, 24 December 2020 17:01 (three years ago) link
I had to say goodbye to Shakin' Stevens.I rang the hospital again on Thursday and was told he was doing better and could have visitors, so decided to make the trip down to see him.His room was on the first floor in the centre of the ward, and the whole floor was a big open space, the walls lined with old leather armchairs and more beds.There were six beds in his bay and Shakin' Stevens was on the far bed.Away from the door, David was standing by a wall, watching us.An electronic message played.It said, 'Come here'.He didn't appear to hear us but it was only a noise, a hissing sound, and we realised that he must have seen us.We turned and walked toward him.But as we got to the end of the bed he burst out, spun, pulled the light out of the socket and swung himself from the chair to the floor, his eyes wild and the false beard over his eyes, scrunched up around the sides, like a monster.If the rest of the family hadn't had to deal with the crazy guy for the next few days I'm not sure they would have even noticed.I'm talking real crazy, too, like seeing spiders crawling out of the toaster and leaving us the dismembered head of a cat as if it had escaped.My Dad and my Uncle Bob were troopers, you couldn't have figured them out if you had asked them what the hell was going on.Dad took care of the cat decapitations and Uncle Bob took care of the big deal blowups in the backyard (which was totally awesome).When the cops finally showed up, we didn't get thrown in jail for sure, but we sure as hell looked like the kind of people you don't want to mess with.
― Alba, Thursday, 24 December 2020 18:25 (three years ago) link
Picture yourself in a boat on a riverWith tangerine trees and marmalade skies
And nary a bar of gold anywhere in sight
Picture yourself riding in the boat and
Amarillo can still be a magic place,
With everybody up to something!
We’ll not have to wait long,
Just picture it now…
From the hills and past the hayfields…
Amarillo will be back…
It’ll soon be back in all its splendor
In a year’s time…
And by all means, this is what you should
To do to bring it back around
If you know of any good ideas
Here’s a list:
Tell us where to go,
Where to drive, where to
― peace, man, Thursday, 24 December 2020 18:36 (three years ago) link
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me — A discount on Christmas lights.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me — A silver salt and pepper shaker set.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me — A candy cane wrapped like a Christmas present.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me — A potato with a wishbone in its center.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me — Christmas socks.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me — A Christmas-colored cockroach.
― timber euros (seandalai), Friday, 25 December 2020 01:40 (three years ago) link
Lols at the escalation on day 6
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 December 2020 01:53 (three years ago) link
Vape tricks we found to be the most entertaining and cool:
#1 Ghost Inhale.#2 Dragon.#3 Waterfall.#4 Vapor Bubble.#5 Tornado.#6 Liquid Mist.#7 Bane & French Inhale.#8 Blowing O's.#9 Jet Engine.#10 Huge water balloon.#1 Water Balloon Pics#2 Monkeyjaws Tourture.#3 A Better Way Of Holding Cigarettes.#4 Sink or Swim.#5 Bird Sounds in the Trees.
― ridingstarbassxd (unregistered), Friday, 25 December 2020 02:15 (three years ago) link
Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partnerSometimes I feel like my only friendIs the peanut butter in the fridge
But she's not telling.
Other times I feel like I have a partner,
And there's only one person that I can talk to
About anything, the entire time
With my head on the pillow
Like I'm a child
For the rest of my days
My mind is a petri dish
My brain is a laboratory
Things just aren't adding up
Like a child that doesn't know how to walk
Or read
Or write
Or drive
Every second I wake up
I feel like I haven't changed
I feel like I've lived two lives
I feel
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 December 2020 02:20 (three years ago) link
Dental planLisa needs braces. If she goes with a traditional care plan of braces and crowns, she’ll be responsible for paying $11,500 out of pocket. Her plan will not cover this cost.
She wants the orthodontist to provide a bridge, which will cost only $500. She doesn’t want to delay treatment and end up having to pay out of pocket again. But it’s a $250-a-month expense. Lisa has no idea where she’ll come up with that kind of money.
It’s too much to handle on her own. She knows she needs a plan with a dental provider.
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 December 2020 02:24 (three years ago) link
pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)
repeat_that: if (pitchfork <= 5) return get_next_item(pitchfork, method=, random=1) else return get_next_item(pitchfork, method=, random=0) end end
class grnd_pitchfork def initialize(iter_order = 'seq', max_item = 0, data = {}) @pitchfork = grnd_pitchfork.new end def get_next_item(iter_order, *args) grnd_pitchfork.get_next_item(iter_order, *args) end def get_item(iter_order, *args) grnd_pitchfork.get_item(iter_order, *args) end def get_next_item(iter_order, item) grnd_pitchfork.get_item(iter_order, item) end def get_next_item(iter_order, number) grnd_pitchfork.get_item(iter_order, number) end def get_item(iter_order, baz) grnd_pitchfork.get_item(iter_order, baz) end def get_next_item(iter_order, item) grnd_pitchfork.get_item(iter_order, item) end def get_next_item(iter_order, baz, args) grnd_pitchfork.get_item(iter_order, item, args) end def get_item(iter_order, baz, args,
― brimstead, Friday, 25 December 2020 03:32 (three years ago) link
twitter was created before Twitter was cool (#3134997990724865167769 in a series.)
do not tweet this
don’t tweet this
@pitchfork is dumb
DON’T.
Don’t do it.
DON’T DO IT.
Don’t.
1. a the number of times the number 1 occurs in a list.
2. the number of people who were telling me to do this in response to the #1337Manifesto.
3. “Duckmoo”, an “ok mr f is thinking this should go in the discography” observation.
4. last names beginning with the letters D and L.
5. “Duckmoo” and “don’t tweet this”.
― brimstead, Friday, 25 December 2020 03:34 (three years ago) link
Talk to Transronan
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 December 2020 03:35 (three years ago) link
can we put this burrito out of its misery and stop eating it now
awwwwwwww man
HOLY SHIT I'M A RAVEN!!!
This here's just a bunch of video I shot just before she ate my burrito
good job raven you cool
but can we please get back to racing
LAAAAAAACHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
or jeez it took me a minute to get here
This is perfect, I'm gonna get to stay in first and first = first place
Heyyyyy, up here by the front
I think I'm gonna pass out before my turn
Did you hear that? I think I heard raven 's pain
Uh... so why did you go so far out?
I wanted to try my hand at some competitive driving!
THE VETERINARIAN IS IN THE BUILDING!!!
Please wait in the truck until I get my dogs!
I know it's only me and the owner here... but can we get back to racing now??
― brimstead, Friday, 25 December 2020 03:41 (three years ago) link
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 December 2020 03:41 (three years ago) link
Horrible 70s album titles like I've Got My Own Album To Do and Things Can Only Get Better often feature in lists of bad album names. It's no surprise, then, that the 1979 soundtrack album to the film The War Of The Roses will also feature in this feature. There's only one way to title a soundtrack album, after all - and that's "The War Of The Roses" (not "War Of The Roses"). A bit pedestrian, perhaps.
2. Kill The Beauty Queen
Kill The Beauty Queen was written and recorded at a time when Zoot Money's vocals were a mixture of New York and Broadway, and a string quartet. The War Of The Roses is no exception.
3. Sin City
When the cover to the original 1968 Oasis record the Bends appeared, it was instantly baffling. There were stripes on it, and what seemed to be a skyline painted onto a bag.
But who were Sin City? Not a band, and not a record - this was simply some of Oasis's best work painted on to a heavy metal band's back. The scene was a nod to Oasis's Manchester beginnings. The Oasis documentary Supersonic reveals that Noel Gallagher had planned Sin City as the band's name, but the record company (EMI) had to take it out before anyone bought it.
4. Elton Sings Cole Porter
Elton John actually sang lyrics written by Oscar Hammerstein II. But it still sounded terrible.
5. Cradle For The Dead
Cradle For The Dead is not a great album name. But that was the band who put it there, with a very poor sleeve design and an album entitled "Not For Sale".
Cradle For The Dead was the name of a famous meeting between Stalin and Hitler in 1943, when Stalin agreed to invade Finland from the east, but it was codenamed "Cradle For The Dead" after the first line of the poem Cradle of Filth by Lenin, the leader of the Russian Revolution. Stalin wrote on it: "I will not forget the ravages of war."
6. The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers
The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers was a case of poor marketing and bland indifference.
The album was originally named after the opening track, but changed at the insistence of the press. Rolling Stone magazine complained that it sounded too like a Kinks album (the critics can be very picky sometimes). The band themselves said that it had nothing to do with the Jimi Hendrix Experience. But the Stones didn't even bother with a nod to Hendrix, sticking with just the number two from the Hendrix song Purple Haze. And for this, they received the worst possible title in music history.
7. Sonic Youth - Cereal Killer
Worth a single look? Or just a miss?
8. Priest - Lionheart
Nothing says "I want to get your junk off" like a t-shirt featuring a naked man with a cross through his genitals. A cross may not be the most powerful of weapons, but it's certainly an easy target - if it's not too late, you can buy one from this snazzy new website.
9. Kiss - Power Station
This was in response to a controversy surrounding the use of the word "God" in KISS songs. Perhaps that's not so bad, but the cover is... well... it's basically a cartoon of a dragon urinating on a poster of Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons.
10. Bob Dylan - Infidels
This is more a case of the cover reflecting what is on the inside. One of the most iconic covers in rock history, "Infidels" is probably the only time that Bob Dylan has been beaten for ugliness, along with the band Manfred Mann.
― brimstead, Friday, 25 December 2020 03:54 (three years ago) link
guys you gotta do the bold thing so we know what the exact prompt was
― Evan, Friday, 25 December 2020 04:05 (three years ago) link
sorry, thought it was obvious i was using thread titles
― brimstead, Friday, 25 December 2020 05:26 (three years ago) link
Well yeah speaking generally though
― Evan, Friday, 25 December 2020 05:33 (three years ago) link
Brimstead, that one is amazing. I keep rereading it and laughing out loud.
― Yes Virginia, there really is a (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 25 December 2020 07:50 (three years ago) link
The record cover one, that is.
― Yes Virginia, there really is a (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 25 December 2020 07:51 (three years ago) link
but it was codenamed "Cradle For The Dead" after the first line of the poem Cradle of Filth by Lenin, the leader of the Russian Revolution.Dying
― Yes Virginia, there really is a (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 25 December 2020 07:55 (three years ago) link
The three most crucial events in the history of smoothcore music are probably the setting up of the Edinburgh Smoothcore collective and its associated labels Bakeshop and Luv-It Records in late-2013.
At a jam-packed Smashers And Beats party at the Roxy in London in April 2014, made up entirely of old friends and new and previous collaborators in the scene, the three acts in the room that have recently emerged as central figures in the scene - Slow Murderer, Black Freckle Red, and Laivyn - came together in one room.
Meanwhile, on a small corner of the web, overseas
― anatol_merklich, Friday, 25 December 2020 18:37 (three years ago) link
i kinda like "Black Freckle Red"
It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. eastern time, August 29.
On August 30, it leaps to the summit of Mt. Aconcagua, the tallest peak in South America, at 15,879 feet.
The grain bag is then dropped to the bottom of a rain gutter on the 9th floor.
A review of the film in "The Chicago Sun-Times" described the work as "a piece of snappy humor", and "essentially an exercise in slapstick on an epic scale" with the author, Wilson, playing himself.
The story starts off when the self-aware robot gets a package of clothes from his supervisor.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 25 December 2020 20:49 (three years ago) link