Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

slurping and gasping and talking about the Twilight books and Angels & Demons. guess we're still on the caffeine : /

talking about the Twilight books and Angels & Demons at an incredibally rapid pace

incredibly

and hey guys, if you have an "emergency", please contact me via email. do NOT leave me a voicemail. I always have my blackberry on me, but I'm away from my desk phone probably 40% of the day. in fact, I should never return to my office to see a voicemail light flashing. like ever. unless it's some jack-legged vendor who I won't be calling back anyway.

also, unless you work at 1) a hospital 2) police station 3) fire station, it's not really an "emergency" ffs. just FYI.

^ should probably tell 'em that. voicemail feels more urgent than email, to me. xp.

if this were a client I'd totally understand. but these are coworkers. they know what's up.

"This is, like, a great time to be Iranian. You know what the best part about this is? We had nothing to do with it! It's all on them!

"That's hacker speak for a 'Blackberry'. 'Crackberry' refers to how easy it is to 'crack' the phone and add illegal applications."

NO IT DOES NOT IT REFERS TO THE ADDICTIVE QUALITY OF THE BLACKBERRY INTERFACE AND THE FACT THAT ACOLYTES OF THE DEVICE NEVER STOP USING IT FUCK FUCK FUCK SHUT UP

Now he's holding forth about 'breaking into' an iphone

lol

also, unless you work at 1) a hospital 2) police station 3) fire station, it's not really an "emergency" ffs. just FYI.

OMG this, yes. I hate, hate this. I work for an architecture firm and deal with these "emergencies" all the time. Like I get a voicemail from a frantic contractor asking me to call him back because he has an emergency on site. Call him back and it turns out the painter wanted to know which color to paint the door frames. So not an emergency, by any definition. Besides if there is a real emergency, I'm not going to be able to do something about it ffs.

In IT support everything is an "emergency" and usually it's something like "the keyboard cable fell out". See also "ASAP". "The client wants this done ASAP" "Yes I know, so does everybody!"

Argh bane of my life, that. Customers who shriek and flap about urgent orders, has a deadline omg (and sometimes it's true, say if they're relocating offices).

And then what happens? We fucking knock ourselves out for them, complete the order...and then they sit on their hands and dont even connect up the router for weeks.

&^^%$%^$

"You know, in this system we've created over the past two thousand years? As humans? I don't think we're capable of helping each other. Not at this point. There's a lot of very simple solutions to complex problems. But we overthink it. That's why we're all fucked."
^conversation started about cellphone carriers, moved to Iran elections; this was his wrap up speech.

lol I have never met him, yet I want to punch him

Twenty minute conversation about Natalie Merchant, who he says he knows from her Woodstock days ends with: "It's cool. She's a scorpio. They have a technique for reinvention. Rise like a phoenix."

He also tends to hold forth about Barry Windsor Smith.

I can just picture what a complete tossbag he is. Also, re: punching, unfortunately he sounds like the kind of guy who, when someone punches him, whines "whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy did you doooooooooo thaaat?" and has no awareness at all that he is being an annoying bore.

again, he's not the worst guy. it's just some of the things he says makes me want to take a hatchet to him.

That's the problem - someone who mugs pensioners you can be justifiable angry with, but when it comes to saying "well there's this guy at the office", complaining about him just seems a bit petty. But you still want to slap him.

Actually I remember a similar character from somewhere I used to work years ago. It was a call centre, and this guy was fed up of people interupting him while he was on the phone using a hands free headset. His solution was to go out and buy one of those flashing police lights that crap mobile DJs have. he put it on his monitor (lolCRT), and would switch it on every time he was on the phone. After about an hour of flash-flash-flash, several people in the office wanted to knock the shite out of him. I often wondered how that situation escalated so quickly, and I think it was because now everyone had a justifiable reason to criticise the guy.

and hey guys, if you have an "emergency", please contact me via email. do NOT leave me a voicemail. I always have my blackberry on me, but I'm away from my desk phone probably 40% of the day. in fact, I should never return to my office to see a voicemail light flashing. like ever. unless it's some jack-legged vendor who I won't be calling back anyway.

this is one of the 1,000 reason for me disconnecting my work voicemail!

My boss is belching over and over at her desk 3m away. I can hear it through my music/headphones.

It was a call centre, and this guy was fed up of people interupting him while he was on the phone using a hands free headset. His solution was to go out and buy one of those flashing police lights that crap mobile DJs have.

OK lol at his ridic solution, but jesus h, I hate people who walk up to you when you're on the phone and just start jabbering away at you. I just put my hand up in their face when they do it. Yeah, it probably looks rude but they started it.

"Ha, look at this! They're calling this issue of the Village Voice the 'queer issue'. Every issue of the Voice is the queer issue!"

"[enormous panicked gasp] Farrah Fawcett died??? I just saw her on TV a couple of weeks ago!!"

"You know what the biggest spiritual movement in America is right now? Wicca and Druidism. Going back to the roots. Bonfires."

^i swear to god this came out of a conversation about sinead o'connor

some new guy to my left has been huffing and puffing since he started, and then he has this annoying shake thing he does on his chair, and he keeps staring at me when i talk to other people.

and i wish he wouldn't cough so chuffing loudly.

Seriously, everybody in this office needs to shut up about Michael above and beyond an RIP and playing his music. I'm getting kinda pissed here.

"You know who's glad Michael Jackson died? The Iranian government. He took all the heat off them."

"How is it that I keep emailing myself spam? Someone explain this to me."

http://www.postmoderncritic.com/images/fightclub2.jpg

"You know who's glad Michael Jackson died? The Iranian government. He took all the heat off them."

was this said to you - or was this overheard? i'd really like to know what the reaction was.

All this stuff is overheard; he doesn't talk much to me. The reaction was what the reaction generally is to these kind of announcements: silence from all nearby.

OMG this, yes. I hate, hate this. I work for an architecture firm and deal with these "emergencies" all the time. Like I get a voicemail from a frantic contractor asking me to call him back because he has an emergency on site. Call him back and it turns out the painter wanted to know which color to paint the door frames.

This is totally an emergency. There's nothing worse than an entire job stalling because someone who needs to make a decision either isn't doing it or isn't available.

This is totally an emergency. There's nothing worse than an entire job stalling because someone who needs to make a decision either isn't doing it or isn't available.

― My vagina has a dress code. (milo z), Tuesday, June 30, 2009 3:17 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark

You've got it. Workplaces can be become the worst kind of mess if this becomes incorporated into the culture.

"You know who's glad Michael Jackson died? The Iranian government. He took all the heat off them."

― wacky out of context phrase is the worst look (forksclovetofu), Monday, June 29, 2009 7:40 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

Actually I really like the idea of an Iranian clerical hit squad poisoning an American pop star in order to quell a rebellion.

worse then asaping every email is marking your every message HIGH PRIORITY! in outlook.

This is totally an emergency. There's nothing worse than an entire job stalling because someone who needs to make a decision either isn't doing it or isn't available.

No, its a completely avoidable situation that could have been entirely avoided had the contractor had the foresight to call me ahead of time and say, "hey, the painter is heading out tomorrow/the next day/whatever, can you confirm the color". Or, as in some cases, if they'd look at the effing drawings! Point is, not an emergency. An inconvenience caused by lack of forethought.

worse then asaping every email is marking your every message HIGH PRIORITY! in outlook.

Argh I also hate it when that thing pops up saying "the sender wishes you to confim receipt of this email". I always hit "ignore".

i hate when someone sits on a issue for 3 months and then makes a one-line comment and re-assigns it to you as mega-urgent. (usually happens when you're already busy doing other mega-urgent things)

you know communication is bad in a workplace when someone tells you to IM this guy to tell him you're picking up a certain task.. and you're like.. you mean the guy who's sitting in the same room with you?? (and no one else is in this room at the moment)

daria, I get 'oh can you call the manager's cell phone to tell her to call me?' phone calls from people who have her number.

i hate when someone sits on a issue for 3 months and then makes a one-line comment and re-assigns it to you as mega-urgent.

this is every client ever (except the one time i had an ilxor client - who was awesome). everything is really really urgent and they need it asap - you drop everything, get it to them and they sit on it for weeks, loose it and then they give you their pile of comments/revisions the morning it's due. usually accompanied by an inflammatory comment like "this is a priority and we need it yesterday. those changes shouldn't take too long." (they will)

that happened to me all the time at my previous job. always from people who knew nothing about the technical side of the work, yet were happy to make assumptions about it.. "oh these changes shouldn't be hard, this shouldn't take long." BULLSHIT. my boss even did that and he should've known better, but then, getting the work done *well* was never a priority with him.

actually this happens every now and then at my current gig, where clearly someone has been working on a project for at least a couple days, sends me an email saying "can you photoshop this thing," and if I don't turn it around in 20-30 minutes they show up or IM or both like "hey what is the status, what is the status, can you tell me the status, I need that ASAP." gaah. can you not TELL me it's urgent in the first place, or maybe think of asking earlier, when I'm not in the middle of the busiest part of the morning?

you're a photoshop slave too?

TS: Photoshop slaves vs. AutoCAD monkeys

"we don't have none"
"we can't do nothing"
"we don't have them nowhere"

ARGHHH

"Oh yeah I seen that movie."