your terrible ideas

ROBERT PALMER: Look, chap, I know this isn't my "jurisdiction," but I wear ties and you wear ties. We both have the same goals in mind, now don't we?

EDDIE MONEY: Fair enough. But listen – we don't bow to the Queen here in New York City. We might both wear ties, but keep in mind this is my joint, ok?

PALMER: I wouldn't dream of intruding.

[MONEY reaches into overflowing file cabinet and pulls out a folder. Tosses it to PALMER, who barely catches it.]

MONEY: Guy we're looking for is one William Martin Joel. Goes by "Billy" on the street. Wears ties, sure, but we think he's being satirical about it...

looool

[PALMER opens the folder and looks at an old mugshot of Joel.]

PALMER: Any idea where I can find him?

MONEY: We know he spends a lot of time hanging around on 52nd Street.

HFS, i swear I had no idea.

https://i.imgur.com/Rz9H636.jpg
https://nypost.com/2019/09/13/nypd-clears-up-eddie-money-cop-mystery/

Thanks to some dude for the info.

Writing a letter to the local nursery called Lilliput to say that from the point of view of the children it should be called Brobdingnag.

:D :D :D :D

A cover version of Manfred Mann's 'Pretty Flamingo' except it's re-titled 'Placido Domingo'.

An instrument that's a cross between a flute and a trombone, and basically looks like a brass bicycle pump.

A service that custom-"trombonizes" any musical instrument, installing sliding hardware so that you can telescope it to and fro to change its pitch.

The Tromboner®

How about a guitar with elastic strings and a telescoping neck?

http://www.steinberger.com/Synapse-Transcale-Integrated-Capo.html

Wow. They've even got a bass one.

Superbone

The Superbone is a hybrid trombone. It has the slide mechanism of a standard trombone and the valve mechanism of a valve trombone.

I should open a shop that sells these, and call it The Superbone Zone.

olol

take me to The Superbone Zone

https://i.imgur.com/AHtBLp8.gif

over the superbone zone, the booblight hovers

a different version of golf called "garf." the rules of garf are exactly the same as those of golf, but a much stricter dress code is enforced in all club houses and courses. absolutely no casual wear shall be permitted. the garf itself is playacted in a public park or other open space.

Jazz Garf in the Park

I really need a more thorough explanation of garf

the world according to

look, i could try to sell you on garf in this thread all day. but i think it's best we just put on kilts, don our paddy caps, lace up our cleats, grab a club (fallen tree branch), and get garfing. once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked. I shot a miserable 98 this weekend and missed my son's birthday while doing so. the damn garf ball was attracted to hazards (innocent people in the park). but i'd be out there again today if not for this damned desk job (i'd rather be garfing).

once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked

which you can get lessons to fix

oh my, i beg your permission to use that one this weekend with the beverage cart driver (a Canada goose)

xp it actually requires surgery to fix

idgi this sounds basically like miniature garf only bigger?

sounds to me like frisbee garf but with a ball

"Dressed...for the nines."

https://i.ibb.co/qrx4PNF/60-BA7-C78-36-FC-47-FA-9-C19-CF1-F68-AF10-C8.jpg

Start a rap career using the stage name Young MD. Wear scrubs and rap only about medical issues. Eventually form a rap supergroup with Young MA, Young MB*, and Young MC.

*Spotify bio: "Young MB started his career in rap primarily in the year 2017, mainly French rap. Before he saw rap as something that happened with friends soon enough, he found out that it was special and he wanted to share that with the world."

Also in the course of formulating this terrible idea I discovered that there is a rapper out there calling himself Young BM, which is a Terrible Idea.

A podcast on Web Assembly, called WASMgasm.

a remake of the TV series Gladiators, but everyone involved has to participate while wearing four inch high heels

An 18-track, 180 minute triple live drone album, where each track is a nearly identical 10-minute drone, except that as the drone fades in on the seventh track, there is a brief eruption of "Woooo!" and clapping, from the audience.

Thinking about gold foil on cakes: a dessert for rich folks that contains more in currency than you pay for the dessert. It will be considered to gauche to take any of the money.

https://www.businessinsider.com/2009/1/rich-people-still-eating-gold

The Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi reportedly served 11 pounds of edible gold to its guests in 2008, which could have cost as much as $500,000.

But they're not the only ones with a gilded tooth.

WSJ's Wealth Report blog: [T]he Russians are especially avid consumers of gold, and like to eat it with their caviar and oysters.

Plenty of U.S. restaurants serve up gold to those who like to wear their bling on the inside. A New York chef came up with a $1,000 bagel featuring white truffle cream cheese and goji berry-infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves. An L.A. candy maker sells treats called Holiday Nougat, made with flakes of 23-karat edible gold leaf.

Stephen Bruce, owner of New York ice cream parlor Serendipity3 famously came up with the $25,000 Frozen Haute Chocolate sundae, covered in 23K edible gold-infused whipped cream.

I’m thinking a cake served on a bed of £50 notes.

Jokes on them, it only costs me a couple of bucks to munch on a shaker-full of metallic jimmies. Or hell, just walk around with a mouthful of pennies if I want a quick fix of that scrumptious metal flavor that human taste buds are primed to enjoy.

An a cappella group that performs only glitch tracks adapted for the human voice. The glitchier and more abstract the better.

(Countdown to someone telling me that The Autechrephonics have been a top draw at Michigan State for the past half decade.)

I'm only aware of two vocal covers of autechre tracks and they're both compiled from samples rather than sung live, so afaik you're good.

nicotine pez

The Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi reportedly served 11 pounds of edible gold to its guests in 2008, which could have cost as much as $500,000.

feel like a motivated plumber with a terrible idea could make some bank here

impossible gazelle. a meatless full sized gazelle you eat directly with your face.

Does it matter which part of my face

Beyond Face. a meatless face made primarily of pea-protein

Creating an @ILX0R twitter account and posting the password for it on here, so everyone can use it.

better than posting the password would be building an integration into the forum software that'd let us all post to it, with like an extra box under the comment box

Even better would be an amendment to the forum software that automatically tweets every non-77 post, because anyone anywhere on the internet can see it on ILX anyway, right? Right???

lol didn't lag∞n make a blog that was populated by people posting to a thread at one point? we could do that, but twitter

he did it was cool