your terrible ideas

I think I would literally die if there were game instructions that were like:

Q: What happens when my piece lands on a black square and I'm still holding all of my magic tokens?
A: I'm not sure.

Cronenbergian stirrups? I seriously do not know to what you refer.

There has been a vogue for children's games where a strong chance of humiliation and/or discomfort is the object - Wet Head, Shark Bite, Pop the Pig, Facepie...

But I know nothing about what grownups do for "fun" anymore except commiseration, sex, and drinking (all of which are way more fun than Pictionary or whatev).

I'm talking about this nightmare specifically:

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ACDwFtPyZPQ/maxresdefault.jpg

Although in searching for appropriate images I'm quadruply aghast to learn that there are multiple games out there employing this technology.

that is disgusting

My terrible idea is a game like this except involving something that contorts the players' buttholes into all kinds of uncomfortable configurations. I'll call it...I dunno, The Riddle of the Sphincter. I expect to be a bazillionaire by this time next year.

Ready, Set, Goatse!

We can workshop it.

that's more an elaborate pickup line

Lol @ lunch's riddle of the sphincter

A limited edition Fanta called Fanta Black that's coloured with Vantablack (which is probably poisonous anyway).

― I only listen to Vantablack Metal (snoball), Thursday, 7 August 2014 10:32 (five years ago)

So you're such a douchebro that driving a BMW SUV isn't douchebro enough for you? Why not buy one in Vantablack?
BMW unveils blackest black car sprayed with Vantablack
Seriously, the amount of accidents this might cause because people won't be able to see it properly or accurately be able to figure out exactly in which direction it's pointing/moving.

If only they could make the leather seats that color, it'd be perfect for summer cruisin'.

Yeah the whole thing is a heat trap. Except that anyone who buys this is just going to do what practically every other SUV owner does, and drive around with the AC cranked to max.

At least you'll be able to see the BMW when the driver turns on their blinker – o wait.

None more blacker

A bar, open only on weekdays from 9am to 5pm, called We(don't)Work

I like that

ROBERT PALMER: Look, chap, I know this isn't my "jurisdiction," but I wear ties and you wear ties. We both have the same goals in mind, now don't we?

EDDIE MONEY: Fair enough. But listen – we don't bow to the Queen here in New York City. We might both wear ties, but keep in mind this is my joint, ok?

PALMER: I wouldn't dream of intruding.

[MONEY reaches into overflowing file cabinet and pulls out a folder. Tosses it to PALMER, who barely catches it.]

MONEY: Guy we're looking for is one William Martin Joel. Goes by "Billy" on the street. Wears ties, sure, but we think he's being satirical about it...

looool

[PALMER opens the folder and looks at an old mugshot of Joel.]

PALMER: Any idea where I can find him?

MONEY: We know he spends a lot of time hanging around on 52nd Street.

HFS, i swear I had no idea.

https://i.imgur.com/Rz9H636.jpg
https://nypost.com/2019/09/13/nypd-clears-up-eddie-money-cop-mystery/

Thanks to some dude for the info.

Writing a letter to the local nursery called Lilliput to say that from the point of view of the children it should be called Brobdingnag.

:D :D :D :D

A cover version of Manfred Mann's 'Pretty Flamingo' except it's re-titled 'Placido Domingo'.

An instrument that's a cross between a flute and a trombone, and basically looks like a brass bicycle pump.

A service that custom-"trombonizes" any musical instrument, installing sliding hardware so that you can telescope it to and fro to change its pitch.

The Tromboner®

How about a guitar with elastic strings and a telescoping neck?

http://www.steinberger.com/Synapse-Transcale-Integrated-Capo.html

Wow. They've even got a bass one.

Superbone

The Superbone is a hybrid trombone. It has the slide mechanism of a standard trombone and the valve mechanism of a valve trombone.

I should open a shop that sells these, and call it The Superbone Zone.

olol

take me to The Superbone Zone

https://i.imgur.com/AHtBLp8.gif

over the superbone zone, the booblight hovers

a different version of golf called "garf." the rules of garf are exactly the same as those of golf, but a much stricter dress code is enforced in all club houses and courses. absolutely no casual wear shall be permitted. the garf itself is playacted in a public park or other open space.

Jazz Garf in the Park

I really need a more thorough explanation of garf

the world according to

look, i could try to sell you on garf in this thread all day. but i think it's best we just put on kilts, don our paddy caps, lace up our cleats, grab a club (fallen tree branch), and get garfing. once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked. I shot a miserable 98 this weekend and missed my son's birthday while doing so. the damn garf ball was attracted to hazards (innocent people in the park). but i'd be out there again today if not for this damned desk job (i'd rather be garfing).

once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked

which you can get lessons to fix

oh my, i beg your permission to use that one this weekend with the beverage cart driver (a Canada goose)

xp it actually requires surgery to fix

idgi this sounds basically like miniature garf only bigger?

sounds to me like frisbee garf but with a ball

"Dressed...for the nines."

https://i.ibb.co/qrx4PNF/60-BA7-C78-36-FC-47-FA-9-C19-CF1-F68-AF10-C8.jpg

Start a rap career using the stage name Young MD. Wear scrubs and rap only about medical issues. Eventually form a rap supergroup with Young MA, Young MB*, and Young MC.

*Spotify bio: "Young MB started his career in rap primarily in the year 2017, mainly French rap. Before he saw rap as something that happened with friends soon enough, he found out that it was special and he wanted to share that with the world."

Also in the course of formulating this terrible idea I discovered that there is a rapper out there calling himself Young BM, which is a Terrible Idea.

A podcast on Web Assembly, called WASMgasm.

a remake of the TV series Gladiators, but everyone involved has to participate while wearing four inch high heels

An 18-track, 180 minute triple live drone album, where each track is a nearly identical 10-minute drone, except that as the drone fades in on the seventh track, there is a brief eruption of "Woooo!" and clapping, from the audience.

Thinking about gold foil on cakes: a dessert for rich folks that contains more in currency than you pay for the dessert. It will be considered to gauche to take any of the money.