I have hemorrhoids AND back spasms, and general nerve pain messing with my back.
I took a couple weeks off from my exercise routine, which was a real bad plan.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 16 August 2019 02:48 (four years ago) link
had exactly the type of crossed-whatsapp group mishap one would discount as hackery in a sitcom about this incident this morning
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Friday, 16 August 2019 08:31 (four years ago) link
Yesterday i had a first.
In Vegas at a buffet, got so drunk i couldn't find my table again after I got up to get food.
― i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Sunday, 18 August 2019 18:25 (four years ago) link
how you coming along here morbs?
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 23 August 2019 16:17 (four years ago) link
hernia, good? (still 'uncomfortable')
Big Stuff, not so good
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 23 August 2019 16:26 (four years ago) link
time to switch to hydrox. sending hopes prayers and sanitized wipes your way.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 23 August 2019 16:34 (four years ago) link
one of the bathrooms i often use in the building i work in is now "all genders" and i feel self-conscious dropping a big gross deuce in the adjacent stall to a woman
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 19:05 (four years ago) link
Just remember that woman is nuking her own toilet at the same time.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 20:46 (four years ago) link
as in smell, sound .... ? Does the bathroom have bad ventilation / an inadequate fan?
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 21:07 (four years ago) link
Is the bathroom like the Flintstones
― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:18 (four years ago) link
Smell and sound. Theres no bathroom I know of that neutralises shit smells and sounds as it comes out, ymmv
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:24 (four years ago) link
Dropping boulders?
Then some fucking sloth comes out and complains about being used as toilet paper?
xp
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:27 (four years ago) link
Yesterday while wanking I suddenly got a headache. It was better within an hour, but Googling the symptoms fed the hypochondria monster.
― Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:33 (four years ago) link
oh the sex headache (coital cephalgia) is totally fine and common and probably nothing serious. has happened to me on occasion going back 15 years or so.
when it's happened to me it has hurt like hell and the first time it happened i thought something was seriously wrong with me and freaked the fuck out
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:35 (four years ago) link
xxp- i have had work bathrooms where the vent fan sounds like an airplane taking off - it pretty much overpowered any unamplified bodily sound
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 21:36 (four years ago) link
ah! that would be nice tbh
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:36 (four years ago) link
the bathroom was right next to my work area ...
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 21:37 (four years ago) link
not so nice.
the bathroom i go to is about 100 metres from my desk
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:38 (four years ago) link
oh the metric system, now there's the real problem.
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 21:40 (four years ago) link
feel like I may have psychic powers after standing in the restroom thinking "wow, that guy in the stall needs to learn about the courtesy flush" only for him to perform said maneuver a moment later
― mh, Monday, 28 October 2019 22:02 (four years ago) link
Is he jacking off or ... idgi
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 22:46 (four years ago) link
He's wiping his ass with a put upon rodent
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 22:48 (four years ago) link
Describe the rodent
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:02 (four years ago) link
It's a shit-stained guinea pig with a Queens accent saying "you think you got it bad? This guy just wiped his ass with me!"
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:11 (four years ago) link
I’ve found the best, cleanest single-seater bathroom in my work neighborhood and I’m quite proud of my discovery but I will never tell anyone
― El Tomboto, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:32 (four years ago) link
courtesy flush = shit sitting in the bowl is so awful you flush before your business is finished to remove the offending object before you poop more or do your paperwork
it also can help hide bad noises, but in this case, the smell
― mh, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:33 (four years ago) link
The key is to also hook strings to the other unoccupied toilets to nake them alternate flushes so you create a relaxing ocean sound for the other users
― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:35 (four years ago) link
Prehistoric courtesy flush = you murder the guinea pig before it has a chance to bellyache to your neighbor
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:37 (four years ago) link
I sometimes wonder wtf these people are eating
― mh, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:37 (four years ago) link
Thinking of you, Dr. M.
― There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:52 (four years ago) link
I’m always eating super spicy garbage and washing it down with high gravity beers, so my search for the ideal latrine of solitude is (was) altruistic as well as being a personal goal.
― El Tomboto, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:58 (four years ago) link
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver)
suck it up buddy
― Spironolactone T. Agnew (rushomancy), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:01 (four years ago) link
Double gross
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:07 (four years ago) link
Women’s toilets are disgusting Jim, that’s not going to rank in the top 100 worst things that happens in there that day
― gyac, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:10 (four years ago) link
I'm in favour of all gender bathrooms (I'm friendly with an NB person who was one of the people who campaigned for them to be introduced at our university) and not complaining,it's just an observation of what is ultimately a silly personal foible based on personal insecurity
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 04:19 (four years ago) link
i definitely thought gender segregated bathrooms were more or less about making sure that someone you might want to fuck doesn't hear you take a big noisy shit. but of course that only works for the straights. single seaters are the only real way forward here afaict
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 09:45 (four years ago) link
Which then leads to awkward walk-ins when the person sitting on the can forgets to lock the door.
― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 12:44 (four years ago) link
I'm friendly with an NB person
initially read this as 'new brunswick person'
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 13:15 (four years ago) link
yeah, i didn't want to totally be dismissive considering one of the reasons i'm holding out for an all-genders bathroom is not wanting to make cis people uncomfortable by using a gendered bathroom, but for real bathrooms are a challenge for me, and part of that challenge is worrying about cis bathroom panic
so there's this great combination of being on a pretty strong diuretic and trying desperately to hold it whenever i go anywhere
fortunately for me my social anxiety means that i have a hard time going out anywhere in public for any length of time
― Spironolactone T. Agnew (rushomancy), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 13:42 (four years ago) link
all public bathrooms should have white noise or music piped in. Or have those japanese optional buttons to make sounds in your stall.
women's public bathrooms are disgusting. it's because of all the hovering and the blood/hormonal poop explosions.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 13:47 (four years ago) link
My mate selection rubric includes a column for how raunchy and insidious their splats are.
― unashamed and trash (Unctious), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 14:38 (four years ago) link
two different festivals I went to had all gender bathrooms and the differences were striking, mostly because of the crowd
the first was in a space where they obviously just rebranded the man/woman restrooms as generic. It took me until the third visit to realize one of them had urinals. I stand at one, only to be startled as the door opens then immediately slams shut multiple times. It turns out that when you open the door, the first thing you see is the backs of people standing at urinals so it was women opening the door and then going "nope!" before wandering to the other.
The second was at somewhere with restroom lines, and one restroom had urinals at a weird spot where, after turning the corner, you immediately got a side view of all the urinals, no dividers or blocking walls. But there were as many people going into stalls in groups (hmmmm) as women searching out a usable stall. So I guess everyone saw my junk, but they were probably more interested in their business, anyway
― mh, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:01 (four years ago) link
somewhere in a restaurant in a ski resort in france there is a unisex toilet with cubicles and sinks and urinals, barely hidden behind a divider and with a mirror on the opposite wall.
― The Pingularity (ledge), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:06 (four years ago) link
I was also irritated that the one time I actually needed to sit on a real toilet was when all these shady characters were hanging out in groups in the toilets and I ended up with the single stall in the entire venue that was MISSING A TOILET SEAT
I was desperate and now know what it's like to hover, and will be avoiding hovering for the rest of my life
― mh, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:08 (four years ago) link
unisex bathrooms are pretty normal here in France, not ubiquitous but common
― L'assie (Euler), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:22 (four years ago) link
er, maybe unisex isn't what I mean, un-gendered is what I mean, whereas everyone just uses the same bathroom, regardless of gender identity
― L'assie (Euler), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:23 (four years ago) link
toilet stall walls that go all the way to the floor and up considerably higher than normal are essential
also, none of the doors with a large enough gap between the door and frame to see in, please
maybe one of those helpful indicators when the stall door is locked by showing green/red
― mh, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:32 (four years ago) link
When i was a kid I was doing some bus tour of taiwan and I distinctly remember us making a rest stop. I went in through the women's bathroom door which was right next to the men's door, but both doors went into the same room.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:33 (four years ago) link
My mom's family's house only had an outhouse bathroom where the squat toilet hole just opened down the side of the mountain. It had a lot of spiders and lizards. It was terrifying.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:38 (four years ago) link
in one of the buildings in which I teach, the ungendered bathrooms have one room with two urinals but there's no door to this room, which is a little more hardcore than usual, but whatever, it's not like watching someone take a piss should be that big a deal, particularly when you just see them from the back
toilet stalls are completely walled off from one another, so there aren't peeping worries generally
― L'assie (Euler), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 15:39 (four years ago) link