what's happening to our borad TMI

xref to scored a goal ffs thread

last minute winner struck with such fury across myself that i pulled a rib and popped an orange

So stressed out today I got back spasms causing me nausea.

Flying to Vegas. Hope it cooperates

*eye twitches for the ten thousandth time in a month*

I hear you, man

Ugh. That's usually how it manifests, is the weird thing.

But hey...Vegas.

I've got haemorrhoids again

I have hemorrhoids AND back spasms, and general nerve pain messing with my back.

I took a couple weeks off from my exercise routine, which was a real bad plan.

had exactly the type of crossed-whatsapp group mishap one would discount as hackery in a sitcom about this incident this morning

Yesterday i had a first.

In Vegas at a buffet, got so drunk i couldn't find my table again after I got up to get food.

how you coming along here morbs?

hernia, good? (still 'uncomfortable')

Big Stuff, not so good

time to switch to hydrox. sending hopes prayers and sanitized wipes your way.

one of the bathrooms i often use in the building i work in is now "all genders" and i feel self-conscious dropping a big gross deuce in the adjacent stall to a woman

Just remember that woman is nuking her own toilet at the same time.

as in smell, sound .... ? Does the bathroom have bad ventilation / an inadequate fan?

Is the bathroom like the Flintstones

Smell and sound. Theres no bathroom I know of that neutralises shit smells and sounds as it comes out, ymmv

Dropping boulders?

Then some fucking sloth comes out and complains about being used as toilet paper?

xp

Yesterday while wanking I suddenly got a headache. It was better within an hour, but Googling the symptoms fed the hypochondria monster.

oh the sex headache (coital cephalgia) is totally fine and common and probably nothing serious. has happened to me on occasion going back 15 years or so.

when it's happened to me it has hurt like hell and the first time it happened i thought something was seriously wrong with me and freaked the fuck out

xxp- i have had work bathrooms where the vent fan sounds like an airplane taking off - it pretty much overpowered any unamplified bodily sound

ah! that would be nice tbh

the bathroom was right next to my work area ...

not so nice.

the bathroom i go to is about 100 metres from my desk

oh the metric system, now there's the real problem.

feel like I may have psychic powers after standing in the restroom thinking "wow, that guy in the stall needs to learn about the courtesy flush" only for him to perform said maneuver a moment later

Is he jacking off or ... idgi

He's wiping his ass with a put upon rodent

Describe the rodent

It's a shit-stained guinea pig with a Queens accent saying "you think you got it bad? This guy just wiped his ass with me!"

I’ve found the best, cleanest single-seater bathroom in my work neighborhood and I’m quite proud of my discovery but I will never tell anyone

courtesy flush = shit sitting in the bowl is so awful you flush before your business is finished to remove the offending object before you poop more or do your paperwork

it also can help hide bad noises, but in this case, the smell

The key is to also hook strings to the other unoccupied toilets to nake them alternate flushes so you create a relaxing ocean sound for the other users

Prehistoric courtesy flush = you murder the guinea pig before it has a chance to bellyache to your neighbor

I sometimes wonder wtf these people are eating

Thinking of you, Dr. M.

I’m always eating super spicy garbage and washing it down with high gravity beers, so my search for the ideal latrine of solitude is (was) altruistic as well as being a personal goal.

one of the bathrooms i often use in the building i work in is now "all genders" and i feel self-conscious dropping a big gross deuce in the adjacent stall to a woman

― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver)

suck it up buddy

Double gross

Women’s toilets are disgusting Jim, that’s not going to rank in the top 100 worst things that happens in there that day

I'm in favour of all gender bathrooms (I'm friendly with an NB person who was one of the people who campaigned for them to be introduced at our university) and not complaining,it's just an observation of what is ultimately a silly personal foible based on personal insecurity

i definitely thought gender segregated bathrooms were more or less about making sure that someone you might want to fuck doesn't hear you take a big noisy shit. but of course that only works for the straights. single seaters are the only real way forward here afaict

Which then leads to awkward walk-ins when the person sitting on the can forgets to lock the door.

I'm friendly with an NB person

initially read this as 'new brunswick person'

I'm in favour of all gender bathrooms (I'm friendly with an NB person who was one of the people who campaigned for them to be introduced at our university) and not complaining,it's just an observation of what is ultimately a silly personal foible based on personal insecurity

― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver)

yeah, i didn't want to totally be dismissive considering one of the reasons i'm holding out for an all-genders bathroom is not wanting to make cis people uncomfortable by using a gendered bathroom, but for real bathrooms are a challenge for me, and part of that challenge is worrying about cis bathroom panic

so there's this great combination of being on a pretty strong diuretic and trying desperately to hold it whenever i go anywhere

fortunately for me my social anxiety means that i have a hard time going out anywhere in public for any length of time

all public bathrooms should have white noise or music piped in. Or have those japanese optional buttons to make sounds in your stall.

women's public bathrooms are disgusting. it's because of all the hovering and the blood/hormonal poop explosions.

My mate selection rubric includes a column for how raunchy and insidious their splats are.

two different festivals I went to had all gender bathrooms and the differences were striking, mostly because of the crowd

the first was in a space where they obviously just rebranded the man/woman restrooms as generic. It took me until the third visit to realize one of them had urinals. I stand at one, only to be startled as the door opens then immediately slams shut multiple times. It turns out that when you open the door, the first thing you see is the backs of people standing at urinals so it was women opening the door and then going "nope!" before wandering to the other.

The second was at somewhere with restroom lines, and one restroom had urinals at a weird spot where, after turning the corner, you immediately got a side view of all the urinals, no dividers or blocking walls. But there were as many people going into stalls in groups (hmmmm) as women searching out a usable stall. So I guess everyone saw my junk, but they were probably more interested in their business, anyway

somewhere in a restaurant in a ski resort in france there is a unisex toilet with cubicles and sinks and urinals, barely hidden behind a divider and with a mirror on the opposite wall.

I was also irritated that the one time I actually needed to sit on a real toilet was when all these shady characters were hanging out in groups in the toilets and I ended up with the single stall in the entire venue that was MISSING A TOILET SEAT

I was desperate and now know what it's like to hover, and will be avoiding hovering for the rest of my life