the unstoppable local-biz-swallowing pseudo-monopoly that is AMAZON

Once I realized that suppresive small local businesses were the source of all my body thetans, I shot up to FC VIII in no time.

totally normal picture of a person at work without showing their face

totally normal picture of a person at work without showing their face, who has a different name, head size & hair from the name & photo on my account

My name is Leo, I’m an Amazon Ambassador and rebin at JAX2. Any questions about the FC just ask! I’m also into riding motorcycles, the beach and/or pool. I’m Retired Public Service (Newark NJ), CR7, support Portugal National Soccer Club and Sporting Futbol Club. pic.twitter.com/0edDglLEFM

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) August 21, 2018

the great thing about this program is it was absolutely the brainstorm of some midlevel PR manager who needed to find something to do to justify their next promotion

Like how do they not vet their bots to ensure that the name in the text of the tweet matches the name on the account. How. This is a very large corporation. How does this happen.

I suffer from depression too, and at one point I wanted to quit Amazon. But I realized it was my fault for the problems I was dealing with, and not Amazon's

she’s not sad, she was just programmed that way

Mental Illness is no light subject. As a person who suffers from Depression, I am happy to know i have resources thru my job to help me if I need it. #youarenotalone This job can be tough, it isn't for everyone: but just like puzzle pieces we fit into different pieces. 💙💙💙💙💙

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) March 13, 2019

xposts, ha An AI's depression is presumably self-generated?

'Just like puzzle pieces we fit into different pieces' - Bob Marley

On the more posi tip I have to say that neural network-generated utterances are becoming more convincing with each passing day. You could almost swear these were real people.

Thread is delivering legit horripilations today tbrr

https://techcrunch.com/2018/08/23/what-is-this-weird-twitter-army-of-amazon-drones-cheerfully-defending-warehouse-work/

there does not appear to be a single actual human deceived by this

this is not a real amazon bot but even still this is pretty funny

Hi Gavin, that is a photo of my twin brother, Tad. He's a model in Canada. We look very similar, I can understand the confusion (my left ear is slightly longer). Thanks!

— Billy - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCBilly) August 15, 2019

thank you to amazon for employing 19 year old grandma Rafael, who is 100% real pic.twitter.com/yDJds0VXcD

— pierre menard (@PierreMenard) August 15, 2019

No one is gonna tell Rafael what he can't do, be it in his capacity as a grandmother or his existence as a being whose ever-shuffling identity and apparent control of the space-time continuum allow him to simultaneously work and tweet without ever missing a beat or failing to be hyper-effusive about his Amazon-endowed good fortune.

At Amazon, we are family. We drink of the same chalice and, through the blood, we are reborn to the life everlasting. While you grow withered and hoary with age, we, the brides and bridegrooms of the Master, are untouched by the centuries. We are as gods. You are food to us. pic.twitter.com/pp1YG8Jtdq

— Adrian - Amazon FC Ambassador (@blagojevism) August 15, 2019

fuck anyone still buying anything from these scum

World’s richest man cuts health benefits for 1,900 Whole Foods workers

on Friday i removed all my "payment methods" and this week I'm deleting my account

https://www.aboutamazon.com/our-company/our-positions

"we support the federal government requiring us to do things people keep insisting we should do voluntarily, so that we retain our competitive advantage over other operators in the meantime"

same shit different day basically

I got whiplash reading that

As part of their HQ2 bid, Indiana absolved Amazon of responsibility for a worker's death:

https://www.indystar.com/story/news/investigations/2019/11/25/amazon-indiana-governor-eric-holcomb-warehouse-accident-hq-2/4282653002/

"A year after Terry’s death, Indiana officials quietly signed an agreement with Amazon to delete all the safety citations and fines."

indiana does that sort of shit even if there's no chance of getting any money from it

£1000 isn't a lot to cover up a death

Saw that Amazon is hiring 100,000 workers to keep up with demand. I can only assume they will use this crisis as an opportunity to consolidate power. When we come out the other side, whenever that is, other businesses will likely be in a weaker, possibly precarious position, but Amazon will be stronger than ever.

https://www.thereelbits.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/plancomes.gif

Yeah, I was thinking this is going to really accelerate the move to online retail.

Exclusive: Leader of today's Amazon warehouse coronavirus-related strike was just fired. He says it was retaliation. Amazon says it was enforcing safety rules by terminating him. https://t.co/YfuQBfJz86

— Josh Eidelson (@josheidelson) March 30, 2020

Mayor BdB is having the firing investigated.

click on the video for this toaster
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B085C89SHK/
wtf. is this ai music or something?

it's like the burial of toaster PR videos

thanks, i'm now obsessed with videos for this toaster

the customer ones are haunting

but re first one yes there is something beautifully bathetic about this yearning AI-Weeknd song soundtracking a real-time up-popping of toast

*toast pops up, lightly crisped*

♪ ♫
toasting you
couldn't be alone, couldn't be alone, couldn't be alone
loving you
couldn't be alone, couldn't be alone, couldn't be alone
tasting you
♫ ♩

i found it because i bought this toaster!

"and the rahrahs will survive / through our tears and our fears" made me need this toaster

when i make my toast at 3am, i want a machine that can provide a soundtrack to the gritty, waterlogged alley where i prepare my breakfast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwaRoCCwzxk

Amazon is now running several anti-union ads on Twitch to combat the organizing efforts by their workers in Alabama. pretty shameful stuff from both Amazon and Twitch! pic.twitter.com/08VLvZS0Ir

— Rod Breslau (@Slasher) February 25, 2021

gfy

1/3 I welcome @SenSanders to Birmingham and appreciate his push for a progressive workplace. I often say we are the Bernie Sanders of employers, but that’s not quite right because we actually deliver a progressive workplace https://t.co/Fq8D6vyuh9

— Dave Clark (@davehclark) March 24, 2021

The guillotine isn’t cruel enough.

doesn't seem destined for a bezos length turn does he

1/2 You don’t really believe the peeing in bottles thing, do you? If that were true, nobody would work for us. The truth is that we have over a million incredible employees around the world who are proud of what they do, and have great wages and health care from day one.

— Amazon News (@amazonnews) March 25, 2021

...and Eurasia has always been at war with Eastasia.

last my memory hole said, these wages are great