the unstoppable local-biz-swallowing pseudo-monopoly that is AMAZON

absolutely nightmarish

just a horde of glassy-eyed zealots queuing up to bleat platitudes about their entirely unsinister corporate masters

wow

at the same time though, they do seem to have some good amazon experiences and just want to make sure the good stories are also heard!!!

And at up to $17 as a Tier 1 entry-level stower, it's not that hard to save up for college, is all I'm saying!!

What’s even going on here? I have my doubts about this Rafael character.

It must be that one I agree, but these overtimes are voluntarily taken on our day offs. Impromptu ones happen during holiday and peak which is also nice for extra cash in our pockets. 💸

— Rafael - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCRafael) August 14, 2019

(needs to be seen in context)

From what I remember from my Amazon internment, "ambassadors" are basically mouthpieces for the company. They tend to be the kind of people who have stayed there long enough to advance beyond warehouse drone status. Lunatics, in other words.

The idea of actually making one of thosr places your long term career is mind-boggling to me in retrospect.

Andy Partridge of XTC: And I've got one, two, three, four, five, senses working overtime, trying to taste the difference between lemon and lime

Brandy - Amazon FC Ambassador #: And the entire voluntary overtime offered by Amazon is helping to pay for me to take my daughter on vacation to Florida

entirely

Love carol’s little anti-union riposte there yikes

Poor Rafael, when he started at Amazon he was a white woman named Michelle, had grandkids that called him Nana. Now he's a young filipino.

there's your replacement theory proof

I don't understand why they must recycle twitter accounts like that.

We are happy to work at the glory hole of capitalism.

— Žižek - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@SvetaPinto) August 15, 2019

Is the FC First Class or Football Club?

It's what they call their warehouses, "fulfilment centres".

a friend of a friend's last day at amazon corporate, after 7 years, is friday. no one has said anything and she's thinking she'll have to organize her own goodbye lunch

i am certain amazon will end its contract with the postal service in the near future. maybe the usps shouldnt have staked its survival on a single private company. https://t.co/e46PubyME4

— Terry (Real Lady) - Amazon FC Ambassador (@itsbreadtimebch) August 15, 2019

Personally, I think it's kinda cool that Amazon uses thispersondoesnotexist.com as their staffing source for FC Ambassadors.

I suffer from depression too, and at one point I wanted to quit Amazon. But I realized it was my fault for the problems I was dealing with, and not Amazon's. I'm allowed to talk to people, but sometimes I don't want to. Now I have some great coworkers to pass the nights with.

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) August 15, 2019

real human hours

Bit late but, Hello I'm Ciera. I work at JAX2 as a Decanter/Problem Solver. Help Launch the building back in Aug 2017 as a Stower.
I have 2 Dogs and I love playing the Sims in my spare time. pic.twitter.com/mxqpdn5yXy

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) March 26, 2019

Once I realized that suppresive small local businesses were the source of all my body thetans, I shot up to FC VIII in no time.

totally normal picture of a person at work without showing their face

totally normal picture of a person at work without showing their face, who has a different name, head size & hair from the name & photo on my account

My name is Leo, I’m an Amazon Ambassador and rebin at JAX2. Any questions about the FC just ask! I’m also into riding motorcycles, the beach and/or pool. I’m Retired Public Service (Newark NJ), CR7, support Portugal National Soccer Club and Sporting Futbol Club. pic.twitter.com/0edDglLEFM

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) August 21, 2018

the great thing about this program is it was absolutely the brainstorm of some midlevel PR manager who needed to find something to do to justify their next promotion

Like how do they not vet their bots to ensure that the name in the text of the tweet matches the name on the account. How. This is a very large corporation. How does this happen.

I suffer from depression too, and at one point I wanted to quit Amazon. But I realized it was my fault for the problems I was dealing with, and not Amazon's

she’s not sad, she was just programmed that way

Mental Illness is no light subject. As a person who suffers from Depression, I am happy to know i have resources thru my job to help me if I need it. #youarenotalone This job can be tough, it isn't for everyone: but just like puzzle pieces we fit into different pieces. 💙💙💙💙💙

— Hannah - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCHannah) March 13, 2019

xposts, ha An AI's depression is presumably self-generated?

'Just like puzzle pieces we fit into different pieces' - Bob Marley

On the more posi tip I have to say that neural network-generated utterances are becoming more convincing with each passing day. You could almost swear these were real people.

Thread is delivering legit horripilations today tbrr

https://techcrunch.com/2018/08/23/what-is-this-weird-twitter-army-of-amazon-drones-cheerfully-defending-warehouse-work/

there does not appear to be a single actual human deceived by this

this is not a real amazon bot but even still this is pretty funny

Hi Gavin, that is a photo of my twin brother, Tad. He's a model in Canada. We look very similar, I can understand the confusion (my left ear is slightly longer). Thanks!

— Billy - Amazon FC Ambassador 📦 (@AmazonFCBilly) August 15, 2019

thank you to amazon for employing 19 year old grandma Rafael, who is 100% real pic.twitter.com/yDJds0VXcD

— pierre menard (@PierreMenard) August 15, 2019

No one is gonna tell Rafael what he can't do, be it in his capacity as a grandmother or his existence as a being whose ever-shuffling identity and apparent control of the space-time continuum allow him to simultaneously work and tweet without ever missing a beat or failing to be hyper-effusive about his Amazon-endowed good fortune.

At Amazon, we are family. We drink of the same chalice and, through the blood, we are reborn to the life everlasting. While you grow withered and hoary with age, we, the brides and bridegrooms of the Master, are untouched by the centuries. We are as gods. You are food to us. pic.twitter.com/pp1YG8Jtdq

— Adrian - Amazon FC Ambassador (@blagojevism) August 15, 2019

fuck anyone still buying anything from these scum

World’s richest man cuts health benefits for 1,900 Whole Foods workers

on Friday i removed all my "payment methods" and this week I'm deleting my account

https://www.aboutamazon.com/our-company/our-positions

"we support the federal government requiring us to do things people keep insisting we should do voluntarily, so that we retain our competitive advantage over other operators in the meantime"

same shit different day basically

I got whiplash reading that

As part of their HQ2 bid, Indiana absolved Amazon of responsibility for a worker's death:

https://www.indystar.com/story/news/investigations/2019/11/25/amazon-indiana-governor-eric-holcomb-warehouse-accident-hq-2/4282653002/

"A year after Terry’s death, Indiana officials quietly signed an agreement with Amazon to delete all the safety citations and fines."

indiana does that sort of shit even if there's no chance of getting any money from it