lets just say i don't have such stones anymore
anyway, the Eagle has landed, but the pain remains
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 9 August 2019 18:55 (four years ago) link
would you say that, like a knife that cuts you, the wound heals - but that scar - that scar will remain?
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 9 August 2019 19:00 (four years ago) link
Tracer, you know i love ya but shame on you for quoting that shit i just googled.
Anyway, were my hospital's instructions to take stuff that the interwebs says counteracts the laxative action? WHY, YES.
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 9 August 2019 19:16 (four years ago) link
There's a time to shit and a time for GodThe last shit I took was pretty fuckin' odd
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 9 August 2019 19:18 (four years ago) link
hey and how great that my supervising cancer doctor leaves me a message on my landline (useless) on Friday afternoon, capping with "Call me early next week." Lots to imagine!
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 10 August 2019 03:16 (four years ago) link
prob just wanting to check in, don't read too much into it
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 10 August 2019 03:19 (four years ago) link
no, she only calls when there's "news"
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 10 August 2019 03:34 (four years ago) link
wow, guess you better get a cell phone
― mookieproof, Saturday, 10 August 2019 03:40 (four years ago) link
nice try
maybe she could call my work # like other doctors do. it's not hard.
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 10 August 2019 03:47 (four years ago) link
so yeah, balls still ache round the clock
hoping to get hooked on painkillers
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 13 August 2019 12:43 (four years ago) link
ugh I’m sorry to hear that
― Vape Store (crüt), Tuesday, 13 August 2019 13:06 (four years ago) link
xref to scored a goal ffs thread
last minute winner struck with such fury across myself that i pulled a rib and popped an orange
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Thursday, 15 August 2019 21:39 (four years ago) link
So stressed out today I got back spasms causing me nausea.
Flying to Vegas. Hope it cooperates
― i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Thursday, 15 August 2019 23:44 (four years ago) link
*eye twitches for the ten thousandth time in a month* I hear you, man
― untuned mass damper (mh), Friday, 16 August 2019 00:00 (four years ago) link
Ugh. That's usually how it manifests, is the weird thing.
― i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Friday, 16 August 2019 00:05 (four years ago) link
But hey...Vegas.
I've got haemorrhoids again
― bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Friday, 16 August 2019 01:42 (four years ago) link
I have hemorrhoids AND back spasms, and general nerve pain messing with my back.
I took a couple weeks off from my exercise routine, which was a real bad plan.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 16 August 2019 02:48 (four years ago) link
had exactly the type of crossed-whatsapp group mishap one would discount as hackery in a sitcom about this incident this morning
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Friday, 16 August 2019 08:31 (four years ago) link
Yesterday i had a first.
In Vegas at a buffet, got so drunk i couldn't find my table again after I got up to get food.
― i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Sunday, 18 August 2019 18:25 (four years ago) link
how you coming along here morbs?
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 23 August 2019 16:17 (four years ago) link
hernia, good? (still 'uncomfortable')
Big Stuff, not so good
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 23 August 2019 16:26 (four years ago) link
time to switch to hydrox. sending hopes prayers and sanitized wipes your way.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 23 August 2019 16:34 (four years ago) link
one of the bathrooms i often use in the building i work in is now "all genders" and i feel self-conscious dropping a big gross deuce in the adjacent stall to a woman
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 19:05 (four years ago) link
Just remember that woman is nuking her own toilet at the same time.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 20:46 (four years ago) link
as in smell, sound .... ? Does the bathroom have bad ventilation / an inadequate fan?
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 21:07 (four years ago) link
Is the bathroom like the Flintstones
― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:18 (four years ago) link
Smell and sound. Theres no bathroom I know of that neutralises shit smells and sounds as it comes out, ymmv
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:24 (four years ago) link
Dropping boulders?
Then some fucking sloth comes out and complains about being used as toilet paper?
xp
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:27 (four years ago) link
Yesterday while wanking I suddenly got a headache. It was better within an hour, but Googling the symptoms fed the hypochondria monster.
― Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:33 (four years ago) link
oh the sex headache (coital cephalgia) is totally fine and common and probably nothing serious. has happened to me on occasion going back 15 years or so.
when it's happened to me it has hurt like hell and the first time it happened i thought something was seriously wrong with me and freaked the fuck out
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:35 (four years ago) link
xxp- i have had work bathrooms where the vent fan sounds like an airplane taking off - it pretty much overpowered any unamplified bodily sound
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 21:36 (four years ago) link
ah! that would be nice tbh
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:36 (four years ago) link
the bathroom was right next to my work area ...
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 21:37 (four years ago) link
not so nice.
the bathroom i go to is about 100 metres from my desk
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 21:38 (four years ago) link
oh the metric system, now there's the real problem.
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 21:40 (four years ago) link
feel like I may have psychic powers after standing in the restroom thinking "wow, that guy in the stall needs to learn about the courtesy flush" only for him to perform said maneuver a moment later
― mh, Monday, 28 October 2019 22:02 (four years ago) link
Is he jacking off or ... idgi
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 22:46 (four years ago) link
He's wiping his ass with a put upon rodent
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 22:48 (four years ago) link
Describe the rodent
― sarahell, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:02 (four years ago) link
It's a shit-stained guinea pig with a Queens accent saying "you think you got it bad? This guy just wiped his ass with me!"
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:11 (four years ago) link
I’ve found the best, cleanest single-seater bathroom in my work neighborhood and I’m quite proud of my discovery but I will never tell anyone
― El Tomboto, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:32 (four years ago) link
courtesy flush = shit sitting in the bowl is so awful you flush before your business is finished to remove the offending object before you poop more or do your paperwork
it also can help hide bad noises, but in this case, the smell
― mh, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:33 (four years ago) link
The key is to also hook strings to the other unoccupied toilets to nake them alternate flushes so you create a relaxing ocean sound for the other users
― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:35 (four years ago) link
Prehistoric courtesy flush = you murder the guinea pig before it has a chance to bellyache to your neighbor
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:37 (four years ago) link
I sometimes wonder wtf these people are eating
― mh, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:37 (four years ago) link
Thinking of you, Dr. M.
― There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:52 (four years ago) link
I’m always eating super spicy garbage and washing it down with high gravity beers, so my search for the ideal latrine of solitude is (was) altruistic as well as being a personal goal.
― El Tomboto, Monday, 28 October 2019 23:58 (four years ago) link
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver)
suck it up buddy
― Spironolactone T. Agnew (rushomancy), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:01 (four years ago) link
Double gross
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:07 (four years ago) link