I hear the LOLs echoing tonight but she hears only ROFLs of some quiet EXCELSIOR

how does everyone know who is and isn't white? jaymc.xls?

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, 8 August 2019 19:22 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

i look at who is posting in belle and sebastian threads

― bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 8 August 2019 19:25 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

sweet connection

Kindly Racist Grandpa

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, August 9, 2019 9:19 AM bookmarkflaglink

I know, I know, it's serious

― Rumspringsteen (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, August 9, 2019 9:56 AM bookmarkflaglink

lol!

Chefskiss.jpg

I swear I must do that with every discrete six-syllable conglomeration I hear/read.

but it's funnier with "kindly racist grandpa" bc it actually is serious

OL, me too (obviously) but with a caveat. The phrase needs to be trochaic. It does not work with iambic phrases.

Trochees: RObot NInja JEsus, ZOmbie MARtin AMis

Iambs: shall I comPARE thee TO, she WALKS in BEAUty LIKE.

(And there begins and ends the usefulness of my degree in English)

the cadence of the iambs

I ate his feet with fava beans

and this is why i still read and post on ilx

Yep. Prosody ftw

Prosody on the page is not the same as

Spoken prosody, I know, I know, it’s really serious

1 Corinthian
2 Corinthian
Red Corinthian
Blue Corinthian

― i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Sunday, August 11, 2019 10:25 PM bookmarkflaglink

5 Corinthians make a bunch and so do many more

i love this one-two punch, edited somewhat:

I was just reading an AVClub feature Jimmi Simpson couldn't stop talking about The Patriot (which he's on?).

Who is the most underrated person in your industry right now?
JS: Underrated is a little too specific. I would say underexposed is Steven Conrad. He’s a writer-director-creator. He’s been writing for years and years very successfully—Pursuit Of Happyness was him—a bunch of cool movies. He did Walter Mitty. But he started creating television recently, and he created a show for Amazon called Patriot, which I’d literally never heard of until I read the script for Perpetual Grace, which is his show that I’m on now. So I read the script for Perpetual Grace—was floored. One of the best scripts I’ve ever read. And I couldn’t wait to meet the man, the men: Bruce Terris and Steve Conrad both wrote Perpetual Grace. They said to watch Patriot first. I’m like, “The Mel Gibson movie?” And then I find out, no, it’s a series on Amazon.
And I watch it, and I’m just floored. It’s visionary. Not just the writing, the execution. It’s like your favorite directors of all time, like Kubrick, and Paul Thomas Anderson, and Michel Gondry, who have these innate abilities to communicate their style so completely, but somehow it feels effortless. You don’t feel like you’re being pushed to just absorb something. It feels like you’re watching a piece of art. And it connects to each person differently.
And so you can’t ask a critic about him who’s not over the moon about Steve Conrad, calling him the next phase in television creators. But, in general, most folks—the public—don’t know about him as much as they should. Luckily, I’ve become very close friends with him, and creative partners to a degree, and so I’m going to keep doing whatever I can to keep showing people how amazing Steven Conrad is. He’s more amazing than I’ll ever be, so just being next to a genius like that is good for me. And I feel lucky. And I think other people should feel as lucky as I do, just by getting to see his stuff.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, August 12, 2019 8:42 PM

Oh, wait, the show was just canceled?
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, August 12, 2019 8:44 PM

Seems like a lot of dudes operate under the misapprehension that if they're spotted using a product that doesn't reek of motor oil or have an X-TREME font splayed across its packaging that they'll spontaneously turn into an actual woman.

― Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Friday, August 16, 2019 8:38 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Man if it were that easy

― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby)

Minority whip, majority nae-nae

― Rumspringsteen (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, August 20, 2019 5:25 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah I liked that one a lot

mostly cuz i can sing it in my head

Yeah I'm in the tank for this dumbass piece of shit

― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, August 28, 2019 12:16 PM (twelve minutes ago)

- Peter Travers

― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Wednesday, August 28, 2019 12:16 PM (eleven minutes ago)

Needed a reference to f***-me pumps.

Secret Heart

thought this revive was for:

one time i was jamming to ramble tamble in my car and i was headed straight on the road, but the guy next to me in the left turn lane missed his light bc he was staring at me while i was chooglin. haha loser!

― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera)

if only he had used choogle maps

― wario in the streets, waluigi in the sheets (m bison)

Choogle maps is excellent and has made my week, thanks

im not gonna lie folks, i lol'd at my own joke and i am not ashamed

Realise I haven't seen A Few Good Men!

...should I?

― Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, September 1, 2019 12:09 PM (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Can you handle the truth?

― clemenza, Sunday, September 1, 2019 12:10 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol

back to back actual lols

In a discussion of this KISS comics page

I want to know who traced over and recolored it and when, and also whether it’s a marvel unlimited digital original or a purchased on comixology digital original

― untuned mass damper (mh), Thursday, September 5, 2019 1:44 AM (ten hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

and party every day

― Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, September 5, 2019 2:52 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Quality.

DC showin' us everything he's got.

It's just a burst blood vessel - I used to look after this kid who had that happen all the time (was a compulsive cougher). Terrifying the first time, but no big deal.

― Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Thursday, September 5, 2019 12:12 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

talk about bad optics tho

― don’t bore us, get to the aeon of horus (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, September 5, 2019 12:14 PM (fifty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://www.vox.com/2019/1/25/18194953/vape-juul-e-cigarette-marketing
In a white paper, a team of researchers with Stanford Research Into the Impact of Tobacco Advertising have shared their study of the company’s marketing campaign between Juul’s launch in 2015 and fall 2018. They looked at thousands of Instagram posts, emails, and ads, and came to this searing conclusion: Juul’s marketing “was patently youth-oriented.” Juul also appeared to borrow directly from the tobacco industry playbook.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, September 12, 2019 5:58 PM

Interesting, I don't think I've ever seen a Juul ad before.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, September 12, 2019 6:02 PM

well you prob don't read a lot of Highlights
― difficult listening hour, Thursday, September 12, 2019 6:03 PM

haha

Goofus smokes. Gallant vapes.

“Next up we’ve got ‘The Joker’ starring Joker... uh, Jack... Joking Phoenix”

― “Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Tuesday, September 10, 2019 3:53 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Joe... Jo-Jack... Jo ack... Phone Jack

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, September 11, 2019 12:04 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Jaw-kin Penis...uh, Fenis. Phoenix.

― Time to Make a Pizza Pact! (Old Lunch), Wednesday, September 11, 2019 12:13 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Joke phone I X

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, September 11, 2019 12:30 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Are those Cam'ron lyrics

― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Wednesday, September 11, 2019 1:56 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I don't know if I actually LOL'd, but it's funny

Pig Benis

loool amazing

lol this is getting a 70mm release

― now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Thursday, September 12, 2019 11:08 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I'm sure Joker fanboys are all gonna 70mm release in their seats

― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Thursday, September 12, 2019 11:09 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

The Guardian's Best 50 Albums of the 21st Century - The Official I Love Music Poll

^^^ otm

i don't get it

ROBERT PALMER: Look, chap, I know this isn't my "jurisdiction," but I wear ties and you wear ties. We both have the same goals in mind, now don't we?

EDDIE MONEY: Fair enough. But listen – we don't bow to the Queen here in New York City. We might both wear ties, but keep in mind this is my joint, ok?

PALMER: I wouldn't dream of intruding.

[MONEY reaches into overflowing file cabinet and pulls out a folder. Tosses it to PALMER, who barely catches it.]

MONEY: Guy we're looking for is one William Martin Joel. Goes by "Billy" on the street. Wears ties, sure, but we think he's being satirical about it...

― pplains, Saturday, September 14, 2019 8:45 AM

<3

(RE: Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert:)

Throughout all modern history, when we humans see a problem coming from far away, we have a 100% success rate in solving it.

what about baldness

― mookieproof, Monday, September 23, 2019 3:29 PM bookmarkflaglink

racism?
starvation?
running out of gas?
styrofoam?
i am actually having trouble thinking of a problem that america saw coming from far away that we HAVE solved

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, September 23, 2019 3:32 PM bookmarkflaglink

the Dilbert TV show?

― maffew12, Monday, September 23, 2019 3:38 PM bookmarkflaglink

Can anyone here email me the whistleblower report?

― treeship., Wednesday, September 25, 2019 9:32 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I heard it blows.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, September 25, 2019 9:38 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

*whistles*