abysmal real names

"He died on active service on 20 February 1917 from double pneumonia" and doubtless would have died of even more pneumonia if he could get it

lol

The text size on my work computer is clearly set way too low because I initially misread that as 'Toiletmachete'.

(And yes, text size is directly responsible for my brain inserting multiple rogue 't's into a given word, thank you for asking.)

The motherlode.

His imagination took flight when he named the many children from his second marriage:

Dora Viola Gertrude Irenez de Orellana Dysart Plantagenet (11 November 1869 – 4 July 1874)

Mabel Helmingham Ethel Huntingtower Beatrice Blazonberrie Evangeline Vise de Lou de Orellana Plantagenet Toedmag Saxon (11 March 1872 – 5 January 1955)

Lyonesse Matilda Dora Ida Agnes Ernestine Curson Paulet Wilbraham Joyce Eugénie Bentley Saxonia Dysart Plantagenet (9 November 1874 – 26 August 1944)

Lyulph Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel (LYONEL) Toedmag Hugh Erchenwyne (THE) Saxon Esa Cromwell Orma Nevill Dysart (SECOND) Plantagenet (21 August 1876 – 1961)

Lyona Decima Veroica Esyth Undine Cyssa Hylda Rowena Adela Thyra Ursuala Ysabel Blanche Lelias Dysart Plantagenet (19 April 1878 – 17 November 1962) (Decima for being the 10th child)

Leo Quintus Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet (19 November 1879 – 1 November 1914) (Quintus for being the 5th son)

Lyonella Fredegunda Cuthberga Ethelswytha Ideth Ysabel Grace Monica de Orellana Plantagenet (14 January 1882 – 3 October 1952)

Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet (10 June 1884 – 20 February 1917) (Sextus for being the 6th son)

Lyonetta Edith Regina Valentine Myra Polwarth Avelina Phillipa Violantha de Orellana Plantagenet (14 February 1887 – 7 January 1951)

Lyunulph Cospatrick Bruce Berkeley Jermyn Tullibardine Petersham de Orellana Dysart Plantagenet (11 January 1892 – 30 November 1960)

Append 'Tollemache-Tollemache' to each of those names, obv.

that's too many kids

recently encountered someone called gr@ham gr@y and i felt my very soul draining right out of my body just mouthing those words to myself in silent horror

That's in addition to initial five, which he sired with his cousin Caroline Tollemache-Tollemache.

xp

that's too much cousin-fucking

Benjamin Butin

It's an Anglican thing.

xp

that's too much anglicanism

You left out a Hungerdunger! You left out the most important one!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxEA5UFpTGw

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preserved_Fish

Lock thread.

what that is a great name

Amazing.

https://digging-history.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/PreservedFish1770-to-1849_Grave.jpg

Why is that name making me laugh this much, why

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c5/Preserved_Fish_%28NYPL_b12349153-421566%29.jpg/800px-Preserved_Fish_%28NYPL_b12349153-421566%29.jpg

fly as fuck

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c5/Preserved_Fish_%28NYPL_b12349153-421566%29.jpg/800px-Preserved_Fish_%28NYPL_b12349153-421566%29.jpg

what that is a great name

That's why I said it.

lox thread

poor abigail

Preserved Fishwife

His first name was properly pronounced with three syllables (/prɪˈzɜːrvɪd/ prih-ZUR-vid), and was a reference to being "preserved from sin" or "preserved in grace".

i choose to disregard this

The abyss and the heavens are one and the same.

Preserved Fishwife

― How to Book Michael Fish (Tom D.)

and her jive-ass slippers

i don't want to go all william blake on this but i did think about posting it to the awesome names thread; this thread just got bumped first. i will readily agree that the name is both awesome and abysmal.

bizarro: it's actually just as funny to pronounce it with three syllables, if not funnier. i tried it. also you get to explain why it's three syllables, which is also some good 18th century yuks

Having spent much of the last year reading books written in or about the 18th Century, I can confirm that I have yet to come across a single name which possesses the magnificence of Preserved Fish.

important detail:

His father, a blacksmith, and grandfather were also named Preserved Fish.[2]

you are fucking kidding me

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumbo,_Brooklyn

Sthefany Brito and her brother Kayky.

― Rainbow DAESH (ShariVari), Thursday, 5 March 2015 08:25 (four years ago) bookmarkflaglink

this came up in conversation just now

Glamorgan Cricket is excited to announce the signing of West Indian batsman Kraigg Brathwaite as our overseas signing for the final three Specsavers County Championship matches of the season.

Santa Ratniece

(Abysmality presumes English pronunciation.)

too weird to be abysmal

at least it's not the usual scatological fare

Abysmal as in abyssal as in awful as in awesome of course.

snakes on a plane, mise en abyme

Directed by Caspar David Friedrich.

would sunder myself before

https://www.discogs.com/artist/67054-Kaotic

no

i refuse. i cannot

(not that it's a bad choice! if anything it's too abysmal. i am done)

just clicked it again and it had the same potency

also goes by the alias 'happy titsworth' i shit you not

i think 'timmy' offers the deepest abyss

The Happiness of Timothy Titsworth is surely the title of a 1968 b-side by some English pop psychedelic act on Decca or Regal Zonophone.

real estate sign:

McKaebrie Reese