On Cinema at the Cinema on ilxor.com

I only just now realized that the last episode of Port of Call Hawaii is Tim's retaliation for Gregg giving away the original ending on On Cinema

"why call somebody that loved driving cars, after he's dead—who cares anymore—why not change his name from 'walker,' which doesn't represent what he does—what he does is drive fast—so you change his name to 'paul driver' or 'paul turbo'"

lmao that's one of my faves

Interesting how @timheidecker has become what he hates the most--a terrorist. How is he any different than this?: http://t.co/uGCZiLM3gQ

— #1 Ranked Movie Expertise (@greggturkington) April 14, 2015

we're gonna do a lucky dip, just like anyone has done

the Decker "Our Values Are Under Attack" just comes into my head at least once a week

the pleasure and the curse of this show is that everything else gets warped through its lens. for some reason i'm reading the Please Please Me review on allmusic, and how can you not read this User Review in gregg's voice:

"What a debut by a group or artist. Stunning smashes like "I Saw Her Standing There", "P.S. I Love You", "Do You Want To Know A Secret". and the closer "Twist And Shout" make this a must have album. Every song is worth hearing. Not too many artists get it right the first time out, but the Beatles did."

(five bags of popcorn stars)

Christ, I watched three episodes tonight and then my mom called and I found myself copying Tim’s cadences and stumbles.

yeah unfortunately this show has ruined my ability to speak

Just bore witness last night to Tim's two near-death experiences over the course of season 8. Just when you think things can't go further off the rails.

Y'all should be thankful that Tim's cadence is all you picked up from the show. I'm beginning to fear that this nutritional vaping thing isn't as cool as he made it look.

still recovering from my acupunctured face sores tbh

Fuckin Dr. San, man. Every time.

I think Joe Estevez is my favorite character in this show, I get such wholesome vibes from him

feel the same way about ayaka but i've only just finished season five. it is v weird and compelling to see these nice people in the middle of the most toxic dynamic i've ever seen

although tim and gregg definitely deserve each other

I loved loved loved the episode in season 8 when Tim started expressing his sincere appreciation for Gregg and Gregg got suuuuuuper uncomfortable and also could only discuss Tim's suicidal ideation by comparing it to It's a Wonderful Life. It's easy to forget at times that both characters are damaged goods.

sorry i meant i had just finished season six. i watched tim's ant-man review during lunch and holy shit

Yeah. That's still probably a top five highlight.

this is the movies, the laws of physics demand at least one bag of popcorn

the buildup from peyton reed appearing on the oscars special to that review is really great, comparable to gregg filming multiple "on cinema on location" segments in a row at locations used in oh, god!

And then when Gregg's error over the title of the popcorn classic "Breakdown" is pointed out, he doubles down and insists that there were two working titles so either way is perfectly valid.

xps

I'm coming around to the notion that Gregg sticks with Tim through all of the bullshit purely because only in Tim's company does Gregg come off as relatively normal and functional.

I think its supposed to be because his character is a pathetic dude and it's the only venue that a guy who collects comically mundane VHS tapes can have a platform as a "movie expert"

mundane movies on VHS* is what I meant

the laws of physics demand at least one bag of popcorn

This single sentence echoes through my mind at least two times a day!

is it unspoken that gregg got ayaka deported in one of the earlier seasons? he almost definitely reported the theft of his airheads vhs to the cops

the laws of physics demand at least one bag of popcorn

This single sentence echoes through my mind at least two times a day!

― Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, July 17, 2019 2:28 PM (forty-six seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

Would be a great sign to put up at an actual concession stand

we're gonna do a lucky dip, just like anyone has done

― Vape Store (crüt), Tuesday, July 16, 2019 7:48 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

goddammit lmao

I usually binge this while my gf is out and even though she's seen her share of T+E stuff she still seems baffled when she returns to whatever's happening onscreen. She recently walked in when Tim was discussing what he planned to do with his dead son's life insurance money. Oh, and then last night one of the Purple Boys ads was playing (which y'all should look up if they haven't popped up for you yet).

I'm at season 8 an Old Lunch wasn't kidding, this is off the chain.

"Mah, myaka-uh... my Ayaka is with child, pregnance. Wasn't not planned, but eh, we have that coming up."

😭😭😭

I need to review so that I can precisely quote the thing he says about having to talk in some weird voice so the thoughts in his brain don't come out his nose. I honestly about died.

Oh and during the Suicide Squad review when he said 'Jared Lego'.

I might just rewatch the whole season once I've finished.

'Idris El..bow'

the way he struggles to pronounce "dakota" in season 7 ep 2 kills me

Personally for me I get a lot of humor out of the juxtaposition when he reads the synopsis. Something about the way the clips are always of a movie that takes itself very seriously with lots of drama and action, and yet completely undercut by the voice of this disengaged illiterate idiot painfully trying to get to the end of a blurb.

Oh and during the Suicide Squad review when he said 'Jared Lego'.

― Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, July 17, 2019 8:51 PM (twenty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Haha, he did. Right after 'Caredegli, Cara Devliredge' lmao.

Tim's in a right state!

Love how most of Tim's season 8 reviews consist solely of a hastily-muttered 'five bags of popcorn' with zero additional commentary. Dude's got vapin' to do.

I need to review so that I can precisely quote the thing he says about having to talk in some weird voice so the thoughts in his brain don't come out his nose. I honestly about died.

― Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, July 17, 2019 8:50 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

At 5:43 right here!

And just every time he hungrily vapes like a dying man who's discovered a desert oasis (read: every time he vapes). Fuckin' kills.

Season 8 just might be the eye of the duck.

Absolutely. Right after the nose thing there's this moment where he just inhales and inhales and inhales and it kills me.

it was watching a few episodes of season 8 that inspired me to go through the whole thing so i think y'all are onto something

Another thing I've noticed since I got sucked into this show's orbit is just how common a construction 'hey, guys' is, and how it's begun making me laugh pretty much every time I hear it. Which I'm sure, to normal people, seems like lunacy.

Personally for me I get a lot of humor out of the juxtaposition when he reads the synopsis. Something about the way the clips are always of a movie that takes itself very seriously with lots of drama and action, and yet completely undercut by the voice of this disengaged illiterate idiot painfully trying to get to the end of a blurb.

― Evan, Wednesday, July 17, 2019 2:08 PM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

his reading of the Storks synopsis makes me fall out laughing every time

'Next up, The Wall, starring John Semen...uh, duh, I'm sorry...John Cena, directed by Doug Semen...Lyman......Liman.'

does anyone have any theories about how Tim got Axiom and Manuel under his thumb?

I always thought of them as LA music scene equivalents of Greg - pathetic mediocrities who nevertheless cling to Tim because he has access to a tv show, and also that Tim always pays for everyone’s drugs

there’s this little smirk Greg makes sometimes when he’s making some banal long winded observation that kills me for some reason

Gregg: and i would say it's about time because those of us who are Oz-Freaks have been waiting since 1939, which is when the last Wizard of Oz movie came out - it was a MGM picture starring Judy Garland

Tim: Oh!

Gregg: and to wait this long to find out the next chapter, it's kind of a burden. a lot of people have passed on who saw the original and never got a chance to see the next chapter, so that's kind of a shame.