star wars 9 grim resignation thread

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is anyone even going to care about star wars beyond this one

ciderpress, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 23:09 (seven months ago) link

That leads to his crazy fan theory!

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 23:12 (seven months ago) link

I’m not gonna watch a video to find out what the crazy theory is, and I don’t really care about the conclusion to the Skywalker Saga. I’m only interested in Star Wars movies directed by Rian Johnson from now on

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 02:18 (seven months ago) link

It's a funny video. Anyway, crazy fan theory (only partly tongue in cheek) is that having hit a narrative dead-end, JJ Abrams and the writer (who did Batman V Superman and Justice League, double ugh) will just dive in and go time travel. Their two big predictions, based on next to nothing but instinct, is that 1) Luke will return more powerful than ever a la Gandolf, and that 2) stopping the bad guy from doing the thing will involve going back in time. Who knows? Who cares?

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 02:31 (seven months ago) link

The correct spelling is Ganondorf.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 05:46 (seven months ago) link

Ganondorfongolf.

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 06:30 (seven months ago) link

I was reading on my phone, so I didn't even realise it was a RLM video - get the fuck out of here with that!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 07:08 (seven months ago) link

Are they bad? What happened? I liked all their other Star Wars stuff.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 11:53 (seven months ago) link

What will the stars do with their time when they are no longer at war?

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:15 (seven months ago) link

(It just occurred to me that they put Death Stars in 85% of these movies to make the series title something more than a vague reference to space battles.)

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:17 (seven months ago) link

What will the heroes do with their time when they are no longer at war with the (Death) Stars?

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:17 (seven months ago) link

They should make a sequel from the perspective of the Death Star.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:53 (seven months ago) link

Yes Planet Wars would be a more accurate name for the franchise.

chap, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:53 (seven months ago) link

Or 'Planet Fights'.

chap, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:59 (seven months ago) link

Astroid Grudge

akm, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 13:01 (seven months ago) link

Kylo Ren tearfully visits the gravesite of millions of fallen Death Stars, taken before their time.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 15:28 (seven months ago) link

Speaker for the Death

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 15:35 (seven months ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n1T3HxHd7Y

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:36 (five months ago) link

New trailer is meh, but The Mandalorian looks dope

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:39 (five months ago) link

The scene of the scooby gang cresting a dune and finding themselves at a kite festival or something (?) looks very prequely.

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:59 (five months ago) link

rian johnson: "the past is past. acknowledge it and move on"
jj abrams: "fuck that shit--look it's fuckin palpatine!"

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:17 (five months ago) link

lol at the idea introduced with each wave of sequels that what the fans are really clamoring for is just cooler lightsabers.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:19 (five months ago) link

very "fuck everything, we're doing five blades."

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:20 (five months ago) link

The scene of the scooby gang cresting a dune and finding themselves at a kite festival or something (?) looks very prequely.

Yes! Are people getting nostalgic for George Lucas' obsession with painting a bunch of bullshit into every frame?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:31 (five months ago) link

Well ... Phantom Menace came out in 1999. If someone was, I dunno, 10 then they'd be 30 now. So maybe?

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:44 (five months ago) link

‘THIS CHRISTMAS’ huh

thanks presnidetn trump

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:51 (five months ago) link

xp fwiw I'm 32 and have only ever felt antipathy for the prequels, though I do know their fans allegedly exist.

Auld Drink of Misery (zchyrs), Monday, 26 August 2019 17:09 (five months ago) link

The more I see from ep IX, the more I am convinced that all of these new movies are one big mistake

Auld Drink of Misery (zchyrs), Monday, 26 August 2019 17:10 (five months ago) link

I knew the Phantom Menace worked the way it was designed to work when after it was released I saw all these little kids dressed as Anakin or Darth Maul and not a single kid dressed as Luke or Leah or Han or Vader.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 17:13 (five months ago) link

I think giant markets/street fairs are cool if the characters actually have something to do there and there’s a sense of movement in the space!

untuned mass damper (mh), Monday, 26 August 2019 18:13 (five months ago) link

They're really running with this 'the whole saga coming to an end' thing then. I mean i don't blame them showing Original Trilogy footage, especially after some of the reaction to the last film, which here gets pretty short shrift by comparison footage-wise. It's pretty smart, very much a JJ move. I wonder what JJ's real feelings about the last film are. I mean i know the official line but..

piscesx, Monday, 26 August 2019 18:50 (five months ago) link

a kite festival or something

they're at burning man, right?

I'm super enthusiastic about this and could use some Star Wars in my life right now tbh

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:19 (five months ago) link

'the whole saga coming to an end' thing

because surely after this there will be no more star wars movies

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:36 (five months ago) link

xp: there's only one burning man in my star wars.

http://media.comicbook.com/2015/12/vader-funeral-pyre-163047.png

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:41 (five months ago) link

how quickly we forget uncle owen and aunt beru :(

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (five months ago) link

because surely after this there will be no more star wars movies

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, August 27, 2019 10:36 AM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i doubt this is even the last star wars movie with members of the original cast. and it's DEFINITELY not the last star wars film with john boyega or daisy ridley.

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (five months ago) link

I for one am looking forward to the origin story about the coroner on Tattooine who performed the autopsies of Beru and Uncle Owen

FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (five months ago) link

"turns out they burned to death"

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:49 (five months ago) link

natural causes iirc

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:50 (five months ago) link

with JJ at the helm I feel no interest in this whatsoever honestly.

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 16:28 (five months ago) link

I mean that's just a nothing post, what I mean is The Last Jedi is the best Star Wars movie and I don't see why it needs a sequel, not any loose ends really

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 16:29 (five months ago) link

also a fair point

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 17:53 (five months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/vS6ObQb.gif

DJI, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 18:35 (five months ago) link

lol

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 18:58 (five months ago) link

my first thought at that kite festival shot in the trailer, when the little puff of smoke/firework/whatever goes off was that it reminded me of those cool colorful smoke flares in mad max fury road. followed immediately by the thought: "why in fuck have they not gotten george miller to do one of the stupid side movies"

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:22 (five months ago) link

seems like he'd say no

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:39 (five months ago) link

Miller spent two years on someone else's IP (the Justice League movie including Toecutter / Immortan Joe actor Hugh Keays-Byrne as J'onn J'onnz) only to have it axed days before shooting began.

He has spent three of the four years since Fury Road fighting Warner Brothers to pay him for making Fury Road, with the intention of signing a deal to make another three Mad Maxes if they agree to abide by the contract for the last one.

Dude is 74, and I hope he has not given 13 seconds thought to taking a few years out & directing Alden Ehrenreich in Solo 2 for Disney.

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:43 (five months ago) link

happy feet 2 takes place between rogue one and new hope iirc

however, the first happy feet takes place in the maze runner universe, confusingly

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:43 (five months ago) link

I assume Miller was one of the 300 directors who passed on "Return of the Jedi." Well, three or four, but still.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:47 (five months ago) link

I'm hoping for another Babe sequel

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 21:44 (five months ago) link


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