Stonewall the QUEER SUMMER 2019

my keyboard is obviously having trouble..."fine with crown and some ball hair, but my shaft was pretty hairy and now it's not, so...great!" was how that should have read lol.

<3 u guys. you are both amazing men.

so i met someone on grindr who is like totally beautiful...we were sexting for like 8 hours yesterday. but he's kind of out of my league. i'm p nervous to meet him what if he thinks i'm a shmo? oh also he's bi!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hiiii. In recent news, my boof and I are splitting up after 18 years. In the famed words of Brenda Cushman, bye bye love, hello pop tarts.

Oh no! I mean, I'm sure it's a complex situation that can't really be answered in words like "oh no" but I'm sure it's not easy.

Wow!! Congratulations on such a long relationship! Hope you both adjust to singledom smoothly

You don't sound sad, sure, so let me freshen your mug with a sparkling wine. We're hitting the town tonight.

in other news: seeing/quasi-dating a bi man has had few of the disadvantages I've been told. It helps that he lives on the west coast.

i think unless you own a Lear jet that's not really "dating"

wishing u well surm

💙💚💛🧡💜🖤

yeah, good luck surm! <3

There are days where I palpably miss being single, more days than I would say I expected, but the upside is I may be getting a new Frenchie puppy soon!

Cuuute

I love my boyfriend and love our dog

My dog does this thing now where she hops into bed with me and sits on my computer and forces my hands off the keys with her muzzle when she is bored and wants to go for a walk. I guess this is cat behaviour? My dog weighs 90 pounds tho

So like
Thanks everyone for the kind wishes
I have to be honest that I already have a shortlist of eligible bachelors in town
But my friends are like girrrrl wait a minute, can u learn to exist as an individual for a second
Which I think is a good point

So jealous of your dog btw xp

Also there are a lot of thing I'm gonna miss obv. Nighttime cuddles top of the list, that will suck. And you know going out for a beer on a whim. Watching our favorite shows and our private listening parties. But keeping my gorgeous huge apartment in one of the most eligible neighborhoods in brooklyn is going to be a major silver lining. Sleepovers whenever I want!!!!!

when i moved to chicago many years ago i resolved to go on dates after only hooking up with guys in college. the first guy i went on a date with i ended up dating for almost 6 years. after we broke up (this was at the end of 2017) i resolved to be single for the first time in my adult life. about a week later i went on my first date after the break up--i ended up seeing that guy for 6 months until i moved back home for the summer after my panic attack. (i refused to call us boyfriends but we were essentially dating but in an open relationship.) he said when i came back to new york that he wanted to be my boyfriend for real and i said no, that i wanted to uphold my vow to experience life as a single person, that i thought it would be a way for me to grow as a person. about three weeks after i returned i went on a date with a guy who was only living here for one month... he's now my current boyfriend and i plan on being with him forever. so i was essentially a complete failure as a single person... but i don't really have huge regrets about it at least right now. follow your heart.

also my ex is still one of my best friends and in many ways our relationship is much healthier and more rewarding now than it was when we were together. our relationship had gotten so sour by the time we broke up that we agreed we didn't even think we would be friends if we weren't together. we basically couldn't even remember what we liked about each other. it turned out that breaking up was a release valve of sorts that allowed us to do away with some of the things (physical proximity, sense of obligation to the relationship) that were making us dislike each other. (well, made him dislike me and me resent him for that.) we never really took any time off of being friends but we were able to reconnect in a way that i think is more genuine now. obv two decades is a whole diff ballgame in a sense surm but i wish you guys luck if you're gonna try and stay friends.

That sounds very familiar to me, J0rdan. Many of my closest friends are people with whom I was intimately involved in some capacity. Most of them, the friendship is better than the relationship was.

I don’t think I’ve ever been single, really, for longer than a few months at a time. I don’t have a taste for casual sex. Even when I was using Grindr and people would ask “what you into” I’d be like “spooning all night and making you breakfast”. I’ve had one person told me this was a failing but I don’t think it is.

It's hardly a failing.

“It’s like Ready Player One for gay men” - a friend describing the MOULIN ROUGE musical

— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) July 24, 2019

forewarned is forearmed

thx for the advice J0rdan, i appreciate you

<3 if you ever wanna gab over a drink hmu

would love that, i think it's about time. i'll hit u up!

There's a survivor's guilt after the dissolution of a relationship that results in unexpected outcomes: bachelorhood for a while, jumping into another relationship. It's not a case, in my experience, of being a no-relationship guy vs I-need-relationships-all-the-time guy.

I intend to take any potential future breakups as a sign I need to not be in a relationship for awhile.

^my attitude since i dated a guy for maybe 2 months in my early 30s

That's ... a pretty long while tho.

what was it like living under Prohibition?

Clyde Fitch, though you may not think it, was well before my time.

I'm going to smack your large heads together, dearies.

but gay men basically don't like me, smart women do

we've been together for eight years, and i tend to think that we'll be together for the rest of our lives.

my only issue is that he is *much* more content on the east coast. i want to up and move after all this health shit is over— i miss California and my friends and community there. but we're going to cross that bridge when we get to it.

I have to move too to stay in this relationship, and tho I’ve lived here long enough to know that Minneapolis is my DNA, I’m also curious for another spot. At least once in my life, I’m ready for a chance to give it a shot.

Cut! Print it! What happens in the next reel? Do I get dragged off screaming to the snake pit?

I want a boyfriend who will move to Salt Lake City with me

Or: a boyfriend who owns a car and lives in Salt Lake City

i'm totally down with that fantasy

if i were independently wealthy i would definitely just up and move
like get the fuck out of dodge
i really wanna do that one day
right now i'm too tied to that good ol' salary but like, the future's my oyster

I am now trapped in NYC, at least til I become more helpless

wait are you employed???

i dunno, what would you call $25/hour? (medical expenses about $900/month)

a start!!!

well i may be finished before i start. the math is ugly.

they told me when i signed up for homosexuality that we were all rich!

For a time!

I think gay men are statistically most-likely to "not plan for the future" and spend their 40s and 50s confused and self-destructive until we all live out our old age sad and lonely. At least, that's what I was taught!

My landlord tried to persuade me to buy in on a condo yesterday, as an investment. I always felt like I was "doing pretty good" considering the precarity of my industry, but when I crunched the numbers it was laughable what an impossibility the proposition was.

I literally think my plan is just to move someplace cheap when I'm 50 and get into being alone and meditating a lot. I mean, I (half) grew up on a literal farm in the middle of nowhere with an outhouse, well for water, wood stoves and a wind generator, in lieu of friends I went exploring the wilderness for days on end and read my dad's Ian Fleming novels, I'm sure I will be able to get back to that place of happiness again

I own my condo, have since 2005, and at least twice a month why I bothered in a swamp that the sea will reclaim in less than forty years. I'm a natural hoarder who feels guilty after dropping money on dinner + drinks, but besides travel what else would I spend my money on? I have savings. Otherwise my dough feels good to spend on piddling things.

ILXor mookieproof is taking me to a ballgame tonight, so for poor Americans it helps to have friends w/ pro connections.

Nice one, mookieproof!