Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

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there's a mini-trend of movies trying to follow the commercial success of bo rhap, using some combination of 1. britain 2. minority groups 3. classic rock. rocketman and yesterday being the other prominent ones, and this one looking by far the worst.

adam the (abanana), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:08 (ten months ago) link

to be fair, Rocketman started filming before Bohemian Rhapsody even came out, although of course its director is the guy who'd replaced Singer on BR, so maybe he had some confidence it would be a hit.

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:18 (ten months ago) link

No intention of seeing any of them but rocket man does sound better than the other three, which I would rather be murdered badly than have to see

shhh / let peaceful like things (wins), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:25 (ten months ago) link

three weeks pass...

I bought a ticket for a “surprise film” knowing only that it was a preview of a “much anticipated” upcoming film. I thought it might be the qt or almodóvar but it turned out to be that Springsteen thing ☹️

I gave it 40 minutes

2019OK plus bennu (wins), Friday, 2 August 2019 21:53 (ten months ago) link

Jesus... how are you holding up?

flappy bird, Friday, 2 August 2019 23:03 (ten months ago) link

lol

I mean the film is exactly what it looks like. I could have seen a preview of it for free earlier this week and couldn’t be bothered, it genuinely never occurred to me that it could be the surprise film. When the title came up several people murmured “oh no”

2019OK plus bennu (wins), Friday, 2 August 2019 23:15 (ten months ago) link

One of my funniest cinema experiences was years ago at the film festival, they always close with a mystery film (eg last year was Roma), that year it was that proclaimers musical for some reason. When the title came up two guys in front of me looked at each other and without saying a word got up and left - maybe you had to be there but it made the whole thing worthwhile for me

2019OK plus bennu (wins), Friday, 2 August 2019 23:18 (ten months ago) link

When the title came up several people murmured “oh no”

lmfao!!

I saw the trailer for it before Yesterday (which I really liked, leagues better than Rocketman and, from what I gather, BoRap), and the Springsteen movie is like one of those shitty 95/96 Pulp Fiction ripoffs, but of a movie released 2 months prior.

flappy bird, Friday, 2 August 2019 23:24 (ten months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Avoiding the hell out of that Springsteen movie, but I keep reading reviews of it for some reason. I'm weirdly fascinated by the fact that it even exists. A couple of Springsteen superfans made a movie about the true story of one of them becoming a Springsteen superfan? And people let this happen?

Lily Dale, Monday, 19 August 2019 16:54 (nine months ago) link

Probably got through on the strength of the current wave of boomer rock flicks (Queen, Elton, that “what if the Beatles never happened?” one...)

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Monday, 19 August 2019 16:56 (nine months ago) link

(which I now see represents the bulk of the recent discussion in this thread)

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Monday, 19 August 2019 16:59 (nine months ago) link

I saw the title of the thread and was like, "hmm, I wonder if there's anything about that Springsteen movie." Was amused to see that this is all that's been talked about in the thread for the last month or so.

Lily Dale, Monday, 19 August 2019 17:12 (nine months ago) link

one month passes...

The Irishman

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 27 September 2019 14:15 (eight months ago) link

I’ve somehow avoided hearing that much about this, and I can’t imagine myself not being curious enough to watch any new Scorsese at some point, but the “de-aging” stuff looks ridiculous.

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Friday, 27 September 2019 14:55 (eight months ago) link

everything about it seems completely dumb and pointless to me, but its going to be playing at the arthouse down the block from me and tbh i feel like theres probably going to be a quiet night when my morbid curiosity gets the best of me and i'll take a sad walk of shame down there to check it out

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:18 (eight months ago) link

you ppl who proudly watch Tarantella's offal

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:24 (eight months ago) link

Totino is best film maker of are generatin, Scorswayze is tired hakc

Steampunk wasn't in my vocapulary 6 days ago. (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:36 (eight months ago) link

fucking Tom Hanks mr Rogers

brimstead, Friday, 27 September 2019 15:42 (eight months ago) link

Scorsese’s good imo

Didn’t watch the Dylan thing but will see this at some point, if it weren’t on Netflix I’d watch it sooner

YouGov to see it (wins), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:44 (eight months ago) link

you princes of Maine
you ppl who proudly watch tarantella's offal

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:57 (eight months ago) link

It is with pride that I do tarantella

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 27 September 2019 16:11 (eight months ago) link

How was your boy genius Spielberg's intellectual property wankfest Ready Player One again?

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Monday, 30 September 2019 10:36 (eight months ago) link

Far fewer than 210 minutes, for starters.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Monday, 30 September 2019 16:46 (eight months ago) link

So are all of Tarantino’s films, except for the sole all-in-one print of Kill Bill, which Morbs didn’t fly to Austin or Paris to see in 2011.

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:19 (eight months ago) link

shorter than the Irishman: ready player one, all Tarantino

longer than the Irishman: satantango, all lav diaz, flying from New York to Paris to watch kill bill

YouGov to see it (wins), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:27 (eight months ago) link

Earlier this year I sat through 1900 (5+ hours) and didn't even stretch my legs at the intermission. But this year's crop of Oscar bait is going to have to be pretty weak to get me to see The Irishman in a theater.

Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:54 (eight months ago) link

Turns out there were two screenings in Philly in 2013 - Morbs could have taken the Megabus for the matinée and been back in NYC for dinner.

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:59 (eight months ago) link

flying from New York to Paris to watch kill bill

iirc you were the ilxor who was going to fly to New York to watch Eight Hours Don't Make a Day!

Also, not quite ALL Lav Diaz.

Ward Fowler, Monday, 30 September 2019 18:45 (eight months ago) link

Well I mean that wasn’t why I flew to New York. But I’d do it again even tho both flight and screening were longer than the Irishman, ready player one, and all Tarantino

YouGov to see it (wins), Monday, 30 September 2019 18:52 (eight months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Jojo Rabbit

Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:09 (seven months ago) link

I support your choice.

Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:46 (seven months ago) link

i enjoyed it but it took a while for me to build up some measure of trust in what it was doing/going for, and i can easily imagine it failing that test for different viewers

weird ilx but sb (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:47 (seven months ago) link

one month passes...

It's got some good people in it, but from the trailer KNIVES OUT looks totally insufferable.

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Friday, 22 November 2019 04:35 (six months ago) link

looks like rian johnson is going back to incompetently imitating detective writers

wasdnuos (abanana), Friday, 22 November 2019 05:38 (six months ago) link

The Megyn Kelly biopic Bombshell. I suppose it seemed like a good idea to idiots in 2017.

wasdnuos (abanana), Monday, 2 December 2019 22:50 (six months ago) link

1917
vaguely jingoistic sam mendes helmed ww1 epic hellscape with heavy FPS visual identity=pass

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 21:10 (six months ago) link

hard pass also on Midway

flappy bird, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 22:36 (six months ago) link

1917 is getting the kind of rave reviews that have betrayed me w/every Sam Mendes film i've seen

omar little, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 23:15 (six months ago) link

i kind of secretly hate every film and television show and play he's ever done

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 23:19 (six months ago) link

Otm. Incredible to me that he has done Skyfall and basically nothing else worth seeing.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 23:20 (six months ago) link

Skyfall is "impressive" but i think where he falls flat is he makes these very beautiful images which are cinematically inert, even in his two big budget action movies. Skyfall looks amazing but seems worse over time, and Spectre didn't even have the beautiful look.

omar little, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 23:36 (six months ago) link

i gotta say i got suddenly more interested in Midway when i realized it was a Roland Emmerich destruction schlockfest and not another oscar-bait mournful war film. not enough to actually go see it, mind you.

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 23:47 (six months ago) link

Richard Jewell

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 4 December 2019 20:43 (six months ago) link

Trying to think: has there been a mainstream film with a rote '(first name) + (last name)' title that wasn't cinematic bullshit?

the perfect equilibrium of dipability and fun (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 4 December 2019 20:51 (six months ago) link

barry lyndon and... toni erdmann

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Wednesday, 4 December 2019 20:57 (six months ago) link

Truck Turner

The Mandymoorian (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 4 December 2019 20:58 (six months ago) link

Jackie Brown

insecurity bear (sic), Wednesday, 4 December 2019 21:03 (six months ago) link

daniel blake (i am,)

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 4 December 2019 21:11 (six months ago) link

Irma Vep. Simon H liked Martin Eden. Andrej Rublev.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 4 December 2019 21:46 (six months ago) link

Charley Varrick
Ed Wood
Donnie Brasco
Elmer Gantry
Air Bud

omar little, Wednesday, 4 December 2019 21:52 (six months ago) link


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