Quick answer - job application help.

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TBF, even if 99 places reject your froggy doodle out of hand, that hundredth place that gets you is gonna be one hell of a sweet fit.

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 18:38 (three months ago) link

pro-tip: under no circumstances should you show the interview panel your froggy doodle

coroner criticises butt (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 18:51 (three months ago) link

the whispers in my head: do it
bizarro g: DO IT DO IT
ilx (banging clipboards): DO IT DO IT DO IT

bizarro g: wait i meant

mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 18:53 (three months ago) link

no no, you don't understand, froggy doodle is the name of my

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 19:04 (three months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/jMTCaqk.jpg

coroner criticises butt (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 19:07 (three months ago) link

gnna need a bigger a0

mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 19:14 (three months ago) link

The Eyeball Of Hull (Colonel Poo) at 2:43 12 Jan 12
Quick question -
WTF is the difference between a strength and an attribute?
Specifically for a job application with list your skills, strengths and attributes, with 3 separate sections.
Everyone was looking for signs of the apocalypse in 2012, how did we miss this one? We should have immediately shipped everyone with an MBA to an island somewhere.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 19:34 (three months ago) link

today's session -- "job application advice TO THE XTREME" -- has been very helpful, thank you everyone

mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 20:49 (three months ago) link

Look, I'm good for at least two or three things but job search advice is not one of them (considers length of tenure at current 'job', sobs inconsolably).

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 21:31 (three months ago) link

what was the actual question again

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 22:26 (three months ago) link

it was whether mark should write a bonkers critical disquisition on the state of contemporary life as part of his cover letter for an application for a job with a start-up publication

actual answer is: lol dude

j., Tuesday, 9 July 2019 22:46 (three months ago) link

ans js yes but dont submit it

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 23:48 (three months ago) link

i submitted it -- i'm not going to get this job anyway but it was a useful thing to write up

mark s, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 12:03 (three months ago) link

https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/image/5617654-3x4-220x293.jpg

mark s, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 12:04 (three months ago) link

mark i need you to get this job i've already handed in my resignation based on your offer of employment upthread

A comical 'blobbumentary' programme (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 12:09 (three months ago) link

HIRET

j., Wednesday, 10 July 2019 20:30 (three months ago) link

three weeks pass...

when yr coverletter needs to refer to the workshop you run so you shorthand those who attended as "my workshoppers" but don't notice that autocorrect then calls them "my worshippers"

obviously i am still going for the bold approach so maybe i'll stick with it

mark s, Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:54 (two months ago) link

(this is not the job mentioned above -- no word from them so far -- but it too demands the "A0 laminate of orange lad"-instead-of-a-CV tactic tbrr)

mark s, Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:15 (two months ago) link

pull out the ol' froggy doodle and talk up your worshippers and the job is yours tbrr

Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:18 (two months ago) link

also my family is dying pls to give me job as promised

Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:19 (two months ago) link

probably can't hire you for this one but i can develop a popular module based on yr posting style (= "as you normally do" obv)

mark s, Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:24 (two months ago) link

AYND.rar if compressed, which is a lil close for comfort imo

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:27 (two months ago) link

damn right it'll be a popular module, people love my posts, they say it to me all the time

Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:27 (two months ago) link

post-post-untruth society

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:28 (two months ago) link

the truth is out there*

*this is not a useful direction

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:40 (two months ago) link

or true

mark s, Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:41 (two months ago) link

I believe that it's perfectly acceptable, in the process of a job hunt, to present oneself as one would in day-to-day, 'business casual' interactions with peers. Prospective employers want to know a little about who you are outside of the office, so you can only benefit from sprinkling offhanded mentions of your death cult throughout your CV. Have the courage to staple your manifesto to the back if you really want to show them how well-rounded and blindly-obeyed an individual you are.

COOL DUDE'S ONLY, NO NERD'S ALOUD (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 August 2019 14:02 (two months ago) link

i just missed a job app deadline bcz they brought it forward (when i printed the spec out it was tomorrow, now the site says "deadline july 30, deadline no longer available")

mark s, Saturday, 3 August 2019 11:30 (two months ago) link

if you’ve got the printout, without being passagg about it, can you query that? that doesn’t seem right and they’re potentially missing out on someone good!

Fizzles, Saturday, 3 August 2019 11:37 (two months ago) link

lol it turns out it's still open (till 25 aug!) on linked-in so i think it's either an admin screw-up or they're advertising in some weird rolling cohort fashion -- anyway pitch sent in and orange lad unleashed

mark s, Saturday, 3 August 2019 11:45 (two months ago) link

:)

Fizzles, Saturday, 3 August 2019 11:47 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

just stopped myself tweeting critical support for this excellent lady and her ways with a working day (since future employers can easily find my current twitter account):

immense respect for this bold attempt on the way out https://t.co/hTskm9OrJX pic.twitter.com/0i3LtmOWTc

— Sigh Hersh (still a yianni d. fan) (@Ugarles) August 20, 2019

mark s, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 11:10 (two months ago) link

I'm not sure I understand what the issue is (uses company card to spread caviar onto Swarovski crystal-encrusted cracker).

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 11:53 (two months ago) link

lol writing yr own references is a poisoned chalice isn’t it?

how does the referee resist adding, right before their signature, “He wrote this all himself, about himself, and excepts me to sign it. WOT A DOUCHE!”

i mean it’s all true, i am in fact marvellous in every way, but i like to be winningly bashful about it

mark s, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 14:11 (one month ago) link

I joke itt because the job search processes described herein are basically a finely-rendered conception of my personal hell.

McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 14:18 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

veering wildly today towards a new model: you the prestigious food emporium put up a job vacancy online, i don't want to do that but apply for it anyway, making clear in the cover letter that i will only accept the very different role i'm actually after

mark s, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 13:35 (one month ago) link

i am become the icarus of employment mendicancy

mark s, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 13:36 (one month ago) link

a good way to spot typos in old cover letters is to repurpose them via c&p, yes i did mean "mteiculous"

mark s, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 14:52 (one month ago) link

exactni sarntads

j., Wednesday, 11 September 2019 14:58 (one month ago) link

presented my standard CV to an "internet CV service" to comment on -- apparently i'm sending the message that i am a "doer" rather than an "achiever"

which rereading it is fair, esp.as i sent a version w/o the usual summary paragraph at the start

mark s, Thursday, 12 September 2019 09:09 (one month ago) link

how do they distinguish, mark? putting down skills rather than things you’ve done/problems solved/particular achievements etc?

i did mine again recently with a manager and it took me four drafts - lot of it representing myself better than i perceive myself. painful but worth it.

Fizzles, Thursday, 12 September 2019 09:15 (one month ago) link

i sent them the big wall of places i'd worked at and things i'd published, which is def.a bit non-explanatory -- esp.if i'm going for more "creative" things*, which i am now i got the book off my desk.

*i.e. not just part-time subbing posts, where "what achieved" = everything read well and was spelled correctly. my cover letters are much better at conveying this and are probably part of the CV i shd have sent them, but redrafting the CV to have difft versions, to point at specific types of application isn't a bad idea i don't think

mark s, Thursday, 12 September 2019 09:19 (one month ago) link

doing cv cover letter right now for a job i dont want, have now convinced myself im the only possible candidate for and will be enraged when not shortlisted next week

rollercoaster of promotions

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Thursday, 12 September 2019 10:03 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

i just ran the revised CV through a different "instant CV checker" websites (i can't go back to the first one w/o paying) and it tells me (among other things, some useful) that hiring software mainly indicates i am based in "information technology" lol (true but what a a to say it) plus i have had "34% exposure to engineering" wtf

mark s, Monday, 14 October 2019 11:47 (six days ago) link

i mean no wonder i am not getting responses to my work pitches but how do you game the machines when the machines are very dumb

mark s, Monday, 14 October 2019 11:48 (six days ago) link

write various keywords in white text so you get picked up

problem solved

jk but apparently people do this...

gyac, Monday, 14 October 2019 11:52 (six days ago) link

how do you game the machines when the machines are very dumb

you might have been able to figure this out if your exposure to engineering had reached 35%


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