that moment in a cover letter when you realise you actually do probably need to discuss dank memes
do you row it back or press forward?
(it's less a cover letter than an unsolicited essay on how media is changing, but the info given abt the publication start-up is so limited that i might as well take this route: not just "what i've done and why i'm good at it" but "where we all are and what we should do about it")
― mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 16:23 (four years ago) link
in sum i propose to hire dril and er bizarro gazzarra, and where you say this is a pub dedicated to longform, i'm going to counterpoint with this: fav tumblr post thread, a thread in which we link to threads which listpost fav tumblr posts
― mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 16:24 (four years ago) link
in 18 months or less all communication of any value will be via dank memes, press on and be hailed as a prophet imo
― coroner criticises butt (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 17:34 (four years ago) link
gnna print this out on a sheet of A2 then laminate it instead of a CV
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/q8j6OC_V5Qo/maxresdefault.jpg
― mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 17:40 (four years ago) link
https://i.chzbgr.com/full/8795739904/h315D298A/
― coroner criticises butt (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 17:44 (four years ago) link
btw u should print that a0 instead of a2 go big or go home imo
― coroner criticises butt (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 18:25 (four years ago) link
TBF, even if 99 places reject your froggy doodle out of hand, that hundredth place that gets you is gonna be one hell of a sweet fit.
― Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 18:38 (four years ago) link
pro-tip: under no circumstances should you show the interview panel your froggy doodle
― coroner criticises butt (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 18:51 (four years ago) link
the whispers in my head: do itbizarro g: DO IT DO IT ilx (banging clipboards): DO IT DO IT DO IT
bizarro g: wait i meant
― mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 18:53 (four years ago) link
no no, you don't understand, froggy doodle is the name of my
― Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 19:04 (four years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/jMTCaqk.jpg
― coroner criticises butt (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 19:07 (four years ago) link
gnna need a bigger a0
― mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 19:14 (four years ago) link
The Eyeball Of Hull (Colonel Poo) at 2:43 12 Jan 12Quick question -WTF is the difference between a strength and an attribute?Specifically for a job application with list your skills, strengths and attributes, with 3 separate sections.
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 19:34 (four years ago) link
big ticket energyhttps://66.media.tumblr.com/97f85210b903b32f0d312e17c964e356/8aed261bfeb7c524-b9/s1280x1920/df9502071738e22d87a777662bf1e465fcb5f4bb.jpg
― coroner criticises butt (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 20:47 (four years ago) link
today's session -- "job application advice TO THE XTREME" -- has been very helpful, thank you everyone
― mark s, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 20:49 (four years ago) link
Look, I'm good for at least two or three things but job search advice is not one of them (considers length of tenure at current 'job', sobs inconsolably).
― Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 21:31 (four years ago) link
what was the actual question again
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 22:26 (four years ago) link
it was whether mark should write a bonkers critical disquisition on the state of contemporary life as part of his cover letter for an application for a job with a start-up publication
actual answer is: lol dude
― j., Tuesday, 9 July 2019 22:46 (four years ago) link
ans js yes but dont submit it
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 23:48 (four years ago) link
i submitted it -- i'm not going to get this job anyway but it was a useful thing to write up
― mark s, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 12:03 (four years ago) link
https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/image/5617654-3x4-220x293.jpg
― mark s, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 12:04 (four years ago) link
mark i need you to get this job i've already handed in my resignation based on your offer of employment upthread
― A comical 'blobbumentary' programme (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 12:09 (four years ago) link
ahemhttps://66.media.tumblr.com/2fc9cd19c84b8977de0cbc3db89d2513/tumblr_oli554TjXs1qjobhbo1_1280.pnj
― A comical 'blobbumentary' programme (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 20:23 (four years ago) link
HIRET
― j., Wednesday, 10 July 2019 20:30 (four years ago) link
when yr coverletter needs to refer to the workshop you run so you shorthand those who attended as "my workshoppers" but don't notice that autocorrect then calls them "my worshippers"
obviously i am still going for the bold approach so maybe i'll stick with it
― mark s, Thursday, 1 August 2019 12:54 (four years ago) link
(this is not the job mentioned above -- no word from them so far -- but it too demands the "A0 laminate of orange lad"-instead-of-a-CV tactic tbrr)
― mark s, Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:15 (four years ago) link
pull out the ol' froggy doodle and talk up your worshippers and the job is yours tbrr
― Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:18 (four years ago) link
also my family is dying pls to give me job as promised
― Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:19 (four years ago) link
probably can't hire you for this one but i can develop a popular module based on yr posting style (= "as you normally do" obv)
― mark s, Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:24 (four years ago) link
AYND.rar if compressed, which is a lil close for comfort imo
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:27 (four years ago) link
damn right it'll be a popular module, people love my posts, they say it to me all the time
― Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:27 (four years ago) link
post-post-untruth society
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:28 (four years ago) link
https://media1.tenor.com/images/fb3f2d1e814190100a4ae401b1660d5b/tenor.gif
― Criss Angel Raw: The Mindfreak Unplugged (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:29 (four years ago) link
the truth is out there*
*this is not a useful direction
― phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:40 (four years ago) link
or true
― mark s, Thursday, 1 August 2019 13:41 (four years ago) link
I believe that it's perfectly acceptable, in the process of a job hunt, to present oneself as one would in day-to-day, 'business casual' interactions with peers. Prospective employers want to know a little about who you are outside of the office, so you can only benefit from sprinkling offhanded mentions of your death cult throughout your CV. Have the courage to staple your manifesto to the back if you really want to show them how well-rounded and blindly-obeyed an individual you are.
― COOL DUDE'S ONLY, NO NERD'S ALOUD (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 August 2019 14:02 (four years ago) link
i just missed a job app deadline bcz they brought it forward (when i printed the spec out it was tomorrow, now the site says "deadline july 30, deadline no longer available")
― mark s, Saturday, 3 August 2019 11:30 (four years ago) link
if you’ve got the printout, without being passagg about it, can you query that? that doesn’t seem right and they’re potentially missing out on someone good!
― Fizzles, Saturday, 3 August 2019 11:37 (four years ago) link
lol it turns out it's still open (till 25 aug!) on linked-in so i think it's either an admin screw-up or they're advertising in some weird rolling cohort fashion -- anyway pitch sent in and orange lad unleashed
― mark s, Saturday, 3 August 2019 11:45 (four years ago) link
:)
― Fizzles, Saturday, 3 August 2019 11:47 (four years ago) link
just stopped myself tweeting critical support for this excellent lady and her ways with a working day (since future employers can easily find my current twitter account):
immense respect for this bold attempt on the way out https://t.co/hTskm9OrJX pic.twitter.com/0i3LtmOWTc— Sigh Hersh (still a yianni d. fan) (@Ugarles) August 20, 2019
― mark s, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 11:10 (four years ago) link
I'm not sure I understand what the issue is (uses company card to spread caviar onto Swarovski crystal-encrusted cracker).
― Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 11:53 (four years ago) link
lol writing yr own references is a poisoned chalice isn’t it?
how does the referee resist adding, right before their signature, “He wrote this all himself, about himself, and excepts me to sign it. WOT A DOUCHE!”
i mean it’s all true, i am in fact marvellous in every way, but i like to be winningly bashful about it
― mark s, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 14:11 (four years ago) link
I joke itt because the job search processes described herein are basically a finely-rendered conception of my personal hell.
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 14:18 (four years ago) link
veering wildly today towards a new model: you the prestigious food emporium put up a job vacancy online, i don't want to do that but apply for it anyway, making clear in the cover letter that i will only accept the very different role i'm actually after
― mark s, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 13:35 (four years ago) link
i am become the icarus of employment mendicancy
― mark s, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 13:36 (four years ago) link
a good way to spot typos in old cover letters is to repurpose them via c&p, yes i did mean "mteiculous"
― mark s, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 14:52 (four years ago) link
exactni sarntads
― j., Wednesday, 11 September 2019 14:58 (four years ago) link
presented my standard CV to an "internet CV service" to comment on -- apparently i'm sending the message that i am a "doer" rather than an "achiever"
which rereading it is fair, esp.as i sent a version w/o the usual summary paragraph at the start
― mark s, Thursday, 12 September 2019 09:09 (four years ago) link
how do they distinguish, mark? putting down skills rather than things you’ve done/problems solved/particular achievements etc?i did mine again recently with a manager and it took me four drafts - lot of it representing myself better than i perceive myself. painful but worth it.
― Fizzles, Thursday, 12 September 2019 09:15 (four years ago) link
i sent them the big wall of places i'd worked at and things i'd published, which is def.a bit non-explanatory -- esp.if i'm going for more "creative" things*, which i am now i got the book off my desk.
*i.e. not just part-time subbing posts, where "what achieved" = everything read well and was spelled correctly. my cover letters are much better at conveying this and are probably part of the CV i shd have sent them, but redrafting the CV to have difft versions, to point at specific types of application isn't a bad idea i don't think
― mark s, Thursday, 12 September 2019 09:19 (four years ago) link
doing cv cover letter right now for a job i dont want, have now convinced myself im the only possible candidate for and will be enraged when not shortlisted next week
rollercoaster of promotions
― theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Thursday, 12 September 2019 10:03 (four years ago) link
i just ran the revised CV through a different "instant CV checker" websites (i can't go back to the first one w/o paying) and it tells me (among other things, some useful) that hiring software mainly indicates i am based in "information technology" lol (true but what a a to say it) plus i have had "34% exposure to engineering" wtf
― mark s, Monday, 14 October 2019 11:47 (four years ago) link
i mean no wonder i am not getting responses to my work pitches but how do you game the machines when the machines are very dumb
― mark s, Monday, 14 October 2019 11:48 (four years ago) link
write various keywords in white text so you get picked upproblem solved jk but apparently people do this...
― gyac, Monday, 14 October 2019 11:52 (four years ago) link
how do you game the machines when the machines are very dumb
you might have been able to figure this out if your exposure to engineering had reached 35%
― NEWS Giant penis frog didn’t have a giant penis after all (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 14 October 2019 11:58 (four years ago) link
the upshot of the above is that a friend (who often vets CVs and works in my microsector) finally got sick of my whining and took a look and gave me some excellent tips, so i now have a CV that does actually tell ppl what i can do and what i'm corrently looking for lol
ps i'm not running it through any more stupid machines
― mark s, Wednesday, 23 October 2019 14:27 (four years ago) link
(the machines were good at noting i wasn't doing some things well, very bad at explaining how to make them better)
― mark s, Wednesday, 23 October 2019 14:30 (four years ago) link