Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Probably not udon

udon know what people are capable of

ah ffs xp

I withdraw in favour of your pun

The people I work with are predominantly young and educated in an urban setting. A few weeks ago, during the workday, someone pooped on the floor in the women’s restroom. Not even in a stall. I tried to get Facilities to check security camera footage to examine comings and going from just before the person who reported it went in, but nobody was as interested in finding the culprit as I was. The mystery will never be solved, I have so many questions.

If you did find the culprit, would you have a heart-to-heart chat with them about floor shitting?

floor shitting is a key component of the annual performance review

I know I have posted about the floor/toilet seat shitter who brought in cups of water and made the entire stall each time she used it. Everyone knew who it was. The cleaning woman knew who it was. We think she was doing a makeshift bidet in there. It was impossible to not know who it was since the bathroom only had 2 stalls in each one. I called HR about it. They approached her, she denied it. Nothing could be done about it because, you know, no one was in the stall with her to see it.

ugh "made the entire stall wet each time she used it".

multiple different managers at my work like to make calls on speakerphone in their offices with the door open. literally not one aspect of that is necessary.

including personal phone calls

Colleague left the door of the shop ajar. Wtf does that? Well, she did. Boss wanted to send a reprimand (by mail) but manager said to let it slide. (Here three complaints by mail and they can fire you on the spot. Also no dole money.)

Her excuse? I had things on my mind.

She’s really stacking up the mistakes. Drives everyone nuts.

this is pretty minor in the scheme of endless bullshit at my job, but still fucking irritating

Manager: hey are you busy, can I ask you a question?
Me: sure, what's up?

- 10 minutes elapse -

Manager: so I need you to check something on the CMS

- 10 minutes elapse -

WTF. can you just ask me the fucking question when you know what it is??

So when it's pretty common knowledge that Person A has been a major fuckup and thorn in everyone's side for years, and it finally gets to the point where Person A's actions are proving detrimental to the company, am I wrong in thinking that rerouting a sizable chunk of Person A's work to Person B without taking any further action against Person A is effectively a punitive action against Person B which just makes Person A's life a whole lot easier?

(I am neither of these people, btw, but it sucks to see shit like this happen.)

this is basically what happens to me (as in I am Person B being given Person A's work because Person A is useless). Person A is going on a performance review in the next couple of weeks though so maybe some action will happen but I'm not getting my hopes up

it took 30 minutes for my manager to tell me what she thought was a problem with the CMS. it wasn't a problem with the CMS. there was a problem but it was a frontend issue.

And this is why I've slowly devolved from 'eager beaver go-getter' to 'surly grump who doesn't do anything that isn't explicitly in his job description'. Learned that lesson the hard way too many times.

Every time I think the toilet habits in this place have reached their zenith, they find a way to exceed my expectations. Well done Wales.

Today I was invited to look at a shit a stranger had done because "it's a fucking cracker, innit". Speaking to someone else that I actually did know and had spoken to before, he's been protecting the cubicle for 40 minutes now to make sure as many people as possible see it.

I don't think he understood what Pride Week was about.

wait, was this guy showing off a shit he'd done himself or a shit someone else left in the bowl that he was so struck with admiration for that he had to let others see it too?

dunno what's worse tbh, either way that is deeply fucking weird behaviour

this is what selfie sticks are for

what, unclogging toilets?

no point carrying two sticks

Was it a fucking cracker tho?

I've ever been subject to one justifiable instance of this behavior (pulled into my restaurant's ladies room to view a log the size of Margaret Lanterman's, which I was forced to acknowledge as a cracker, specifically of porcelain).

am i a prude for thinking it's not appropriate under any circumstances - other than those strictly medical or, where mutual consent exists, sexual - for bowel movements to be treated as show-and-tell objects? wtf people

I was going to agree with you but, given what I encountered that one time I conceded, I'm suddenly left wondering how many dazzling spectacles of poo prowess I've denied myself through the years.

I assumed it was his but I suppose it could have been somebody else's. You don't know , man. You're not in Wales.

I once showed one of mine to my wife, in a hotel room, because it was like a fucking draught excluder.

I am very entertained that you could only show your wife your poo in a hotel room. Holiday poo.

or rather that there was a need to specify.

I'm suddenly left wondering how many dazzling spectacles of poo prowess I've denied myself through the years

again, maybe i'm the one standing outside the norms of society here, but i'm entirely comfortable with not knowing anything about the size, frequency, consistency or flavour of the bowel movements of anyone else, no matter how outlandish their qualities

Sounds like you'd be put off by the prospect of friendship with Martin Luther.

just spent WAY too long scrolling down a recent twitter account to find the name of a book that had a chapter on environmental health in royal palaces (the book is a history of royal poisonings and it turns out the thread doesn't actually name it)

anyway when it comes to "bitch abt yr stupid co-courtiers as late as the 18th century", pissing and pooing just anyway and everywhere was the pan-european standard

Catherine de Braganza wrote home from Versailles about how she could barely walk into a room without seeing some guy’s prick

— shibari weiss (@AliceAvizandum) January 5, 2019

I am very reminded of that scene in The Last Emperor where they discuss/smell the kid emperor's poo.

bg, no one is going to judge you harshly for refusing to fully experience the richness and texture of life. Pity? Sure. But no judgment.

*shits*

some top content on this in the latest LRB:

In the first decade of the 17th century, the English traveller Fynes Moryson noted with wonder that, in the presence chamber at Dublin Castle, ‘the wives of great men … make water as they stood talking with men … and … do openly the most secret necessities of the body.’ The transition to bodily inhibition took place quite slowly, however: Anthony Wood complained that when Charles II’s courtiers left Oxford, they also left ‘their excrements in every corner, in chimneys, studies, coal-houses, cellars’.

perhaps if you can sense that an impending turd is going to be truly remarkable you could curl it where people will stumble across it and marvel. *stomach rumbles auspiciously* "this'll be one for the fireplace"

oh man feels like i've got a real chimney-buster brewing, fire up facebook live and let's get the show started

i hate this thread and what it's done to me btw

Look, when you enter a discussion on annoying coworkers, you know what you're in for.

presents chamber more like

While we smallmindedly write off our coworkers as disgusting animals unfit for cohabitation with other humans, those very coworkers are in fact sustaining age-old cultural traditions of pooping just wherever you feel like. Boy, do I ever feel like a grade-a boob.

the noblest traditions, versailles is not to be sniffed at

the pissing and shitting habits of several centuries ago were completely fucked up

one of the reason the noble class would rotate through their palatial homes was because they'd just do their business in the corner or on the stairs and they'd have to leave for a couple weeks while some unfortunate servants would wash the place down. the smell was about what you'd expect

Back to annoying coworker anecdotes: I will never understand why it's preferable to compose an email asking someone else to search for something on your behalf rather than to just enter a simple search term into a field and click the 'Search' button.

xp - citation needed

xxxxp - "in the hotel room" important because it's not like I had to go and find her to show her or for her to go more than 10ft

I should probably shut up about this

I was imagining that it was so impressive you had booked a hotel room & transported the mighty item there for best presentation

That sounds like something Mr Welshman this morning would have done to preserve it.

I would've thought that the "coworker clipping their nails thing in the office" bit had been around long enough for everyone to know not to do this but APPARENTLY NOT

Ex-office mate routinely went to town on his ear canal with a Q-Tip. The 'not okay but imma do it anyway' jewel is comprised of innumerable facets.