The car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel - The Tory leadership elections

put the NHS on the blockchain

I call app britain

Liz Truss is the only hope for Stop Boris contingent now!

I love the bit where he puts his finger behind his ear 🤣😀😂😭@johnmcdonnellMP on Rory Stewart

pic.twitter.com/k3udxT7eet

— ARTIST TAXI DRIVER (@chunkymark) June 17, 2019

fucking love McD more than family.

“The Turnip”, a play on raap, the Dutch word for the vegetable, allegedly "chickened out" when confronted by Michel Barnier over empty threats he made about the Irish border in a “very tense” meeting, according to the insiders.

no-one is going to be rooting for Dominic Raap aka The Turnip, when they read he is not quite the tough talking negotiator he projects himself as in UK media.

Story from the Daily Telegraph who, of course, have absolutely no bias about who becomes next leader of the Conservative Party.

xp think that went out the window when the country clocked his incredible sweatiness under pressure/stress vein in his forehead

Also fond of NDAs.

Gove: "there is no candidate in this race who understands the politics of Ireland better than I do."

— Chris Mason (@ChrisMasonBBC) June 17, 2019

I'm prepared to believe that that statement is strictly speaking factually correct

focus on "in this race" and "better than"

Gove compared the good Friday agreement to appeasement of the Nazis!

think what the others must be like then

I’m like cringing in horror but I think Hunt might, might??? be better?

#huntz #bantz #secretweapon #weapon

last week tonight had a clip of gove talking about how he liked rap music and it felt like it was mortifying for the entire nation, still he probably knows more about it than the others

he'd still get street-knowledge shamed by Watson though.

the drill candidate vs the dril candidate

I'd rather they were one and the same.

i was going to say that's not how internet jokes work but

this cannot be posted often enough with respect to gove

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/cartoon/2012/mar/16/1

Let me try again: ¿Porque no los dos?

xp

this is the closest i can find:

concerned about t he health of my followers, many of whom appear sickly and have chapped, unwashed elbows, stained with grime

— wint (@dril) June 1, 2018

i mean look

can we say, looking back, a decent shot at appeasement mightnt have been worth a go?

i was reading the old admin log yesterday where you couldn't work out if i was saying FP hitler or you

if they could have got hitler to sign a "only one war of annihilation agreement" that he would definitely honour at Munich '38, then possibly the nazis in europe rn wouldn't be neo-ones!

I’m like cringing in horror but I think Hunt might, might??? be better?

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/trump-sadiq-khan-london-jeremy-hunt-twitter-conservative-leadership-latest-a8961941.html

... this from the cunt who wants us to stop calling him cunt.

i was reading the old admin log yesterday where you couldn't work out if i was saying FP hitler or you

Let me try again: ¿Porque no los dos?

xp

I love the way this gov gets a free ride on crime and doesn't get any scrutiny blaming it on Khan. I know it is a complex subject but there is no fucking chance austerity doesn't feed it and worsen it. And I don't mean the more invasive and aggressive policing angle. You don't need a sociology degree to know that increased poverty will push people towards criminal income streams and therefore increasing lawlessness on the streets.

walk into a room, one fp on the table. opposite you are dmac and hitler.

couldn't tell if you were joking or not tbh, because most Irish are in fact fervent supporters of the 3rd reich! well i base this flimsy theory on my late dad tbh!

if you could go back in time and fp hitler...

London homicide figures over the years are a bit surprising to me tbh. They really did drop during Johnson's mayorship and while cuts were kicking in. Fairly consistent over the last ten years though and very likely to remain so by December.

Regardless Johnson lied and inflated his figures when bragging about it last week.

gun crime in Hudds seems to be at the same level as Moss Side in the 90's now. I can remember getting held up in the Sheepridge bookies by armed robbers and it made the front page of The Examiner!

"back in't late 90's you could kick about an armed robbery hold-up anecdote in the street and...

Stop blaming us for your dodgy dad, calz! You wouldn’t say that to Johnny Mc. Would you?

Because I am childishly still amused by the yougov profiles, here’s Rory’s:

Rory Stewart is the 46th most popular Conservative politician and the 58th most famous. Rory Stewart is described by fans as: Admirable, Good speaker, Well Educated, Intelligent and Clever.

Other things liked by Rory Stewart fans:

https://yougov.co.uk/topics/media/explore/tv_programme/Murder_Uncovered
Murder Uncovered lol

the murder uncovered is jeremy hunt culling the entire older generation

Michael Gove is the 20th most popular Conservative politician and the 9th most famous. Michael Gove is described by fans as: Intelligent, Committed, Clever, Conservative and One to watch.

John McDonnell is the 26th most popular Labour politician and the 25th most famous. John McDonnell is described by fans as: Admirable, Honest, Stands up for ordinary people, Positive and Intelligent.

one to keep an eye on

a danger

michael gove wants watching marelike

xp Hunt

Jeremy Hunt is the 19th most popular Conservative politician and the 6th most famous. Jeremy Hunt is described by fans as: Conservative, Intelligent, Articulate, Good speaker and Ambitious.

Other things liked by Boris Johnson fans

Blackburn Rovers F.C.
Audi RS2
Ian Rush
Brian Glover
Shandy Bass
Rosamund Pike
Accrington Stanley F.C.

xps to zebra - ‘tis a rare beast that can move on land and in the sea

Boris Johnson 126
Jeremy Hunt 46
Michael Gove 41
Rory Stewart 37
Sajid Javid 33
Dominic Raab 30

Raab out. So Rory can get stuck right intae Bozza tonight.

xp Raab out, Javid just on 33, Stewart up to fourth (on 37), Boris only picked up 11 votes to 126 (assuming he's not galaxy-braining to lend votes to preferred opponents)

Ah fuck I forgot about the seamonster thread

Wonder who May voted for?

Well, I’ve got a friend coming over for dinner and the latest episode of a dystopian shitshow and we’re also watching Years & Years.

The makeup crew will be relieved Raab’s out anyway.