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"I am not a racist, but"

Trϵϵship, Friday, 7 June 2019 18:18 (four years ago) link

I am not a racist, but I do hate people just like yours," one of them replied.

A few days earlier, another woman had joined in and said "What the s---? I'm just here to have a drink with a friend, and you don't want to know about it? Why do you think I'm here?"

But the most offensive moment occurred when one of his friends told her, "You just act like this is one of your little 'buddy's', like you're an honorary member when you're not."

"Why do you think I'm here?" she replied.

According to reports, the male friend was then confronted by the officer, who then told him she should have a "straightface speaking style" and a "straight back facing voice" before she was allowed to use the public restroom for the evening, as he was required to do by law.

The officer then threatened to arrest the two women for violating the men's personal space, and they refused to back down, and the confrontation escalated.

One of the women, who said she had been waiting for almost an hour for her service, said the situation was "ridiculous" because she had to pee. At this point, an officer walked up out of his patrol car and threatened to arrest the women for disorderly conduct for attempting to ur

Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Friday, 7 June 2019 18:29 (four years ago) link

I am a racist, but I do not believe you are a racist."

Some say it will be different with Donald Trump as president.

"He just said something offensive about Mexicans being rapists, something of the same nature and nature as the statements that were made about me, and he just made a joke. How in the world can anyone, who would say anything, accept things from him," said Juan Martinez.

Some say Trump is not as qualified to run for president, but said a third party candidate would have to pick a side.

"I think Donald Trump could certainly be, 'Oh yeah that would be a really great idea' and maybe not be able to be president at all," said Joe Torres.

There is also concern that his behavior this week in the media could be a sign of something more sinister. In an interview in the "Today Show," he said he has been having "rampant heart palpitations":

He's never apologized for anything he has said or done in the past. He is not even apologetic in all of his public actions of the past. He is a brash man of business, a master of publicity, who is at war with the press and his critics. He is trying to change the narrative by telling all of my friends and family in the past tense because he feels the press is covering his every

Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Friday, 7 June 2019 18:30 (four years ago) link

Why does donald trump show up so often in this

Trϵϵship, Friday, 7 June 2019 18:31 (four years ago) link

Hip hip hooray on yr. magical birthing day!

My name is Rachelle and I am a professional naturopathic naturopath and a proud pet owner! Here in Austin TX I've been a full-time professional for 15 years and I hope to keep doing so for many more!I'm now on my 11th year working with my amazing husband and dog, who I love dearly and wish well for!We have a thriving house filled with beautiful creatures and pets. The only problem is I am so tired of all the little things we have to worry about. We are extremely fortunate to have beautiful pets like our gorgeous puppy that enjoys having fun and being around animals. My husband and dogs are very active outdoors and need to be in the kitchen so our 2 children can watch and play! So we have come up with a plan. We'll start by getting a few toys into the house. These toys should get you going quickly! They are so easy to use and I don't have to worry about breaking them from our own kids!!We will spend a month playing with them all. Once we have them all set we will add this extra step.. we will begin to prepare for the birth of our baby!I will begin by getting an MRI! It will help determine what your baby will smell like and how many bones you need! This procedure is extremely important because if the

Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Friday, 7 June 2019 18:35 (four years ago) link

like the notion i've got of your never having seen either of the first two coasts. or apparently not knowing what a blended haircut is. but thanks for your personal comments.

― gabbneb, Saturday, July 12, 2008 11:27 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

blended!

― kenan, Saturday, July 12, 2008 11:29 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I am right on the shining edge of being banned forever aren't I?

― kenan, Saturday, July 12, 2008 11:32 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I do not know how to handle this situation. Are you not a pedophile? Or has someone given you permission to share what I am doing with you or are you simply going to lie and shut me up?

― sant, Saturday, July 12, 2008 11:33 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I see no problem at all with it at all. I am a homosexual, not a pedophile!

― cory, Saturday, July 12, 2008 11:33 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Friday, 7 June 2019 22:14 (four years ago) link

I love horses
Best of all the animals
I love horses
They're my friends

I hate people
People hate horses
They're my friends
I hate people
People hate horses
I love horses
This song was recorded by my father in 1999
I can't tell you how many times this song was played to us on the beach before the sea got the better of the waves
I couldn't tell you when there actually was a ship
The ship did not go down
And when they came out, I guess they were expecting a ride on that ship, but we came up and sat on a bench, and waited for them to be picked up
They kept telling us to sit down
They didn't tell us to sit down
They didn't tell us to sit down
Oh yeah it did, my dear
And every day of the following month We were like, no we did not go down
We didn't go down
We didn't go down
We didn't go down
We didn't go down
Hear you, hear you
Our song went up through the air and we could hear the sounds of our father singing
But we didn't feel happy We went nowhere
We went nowhere
They went nowhere
And we couldn't tell you where it came from
But we thought we knew where it was going
If we kept digging

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 8 June 2019 17:41 (four years ago) link

"I can't tell you how many times this song was played to us on the beach before the sea got the better of the waves"

cool

Dan I., Saturday, 8 June 2019 17:44 (four years ago) link

There are also many myths about the moon (which seems to always get left out in the corner, until it gets turned onto the stars). This makes this one of the two most obvious, as the other being the moon-god's aspect around the same time.

Flood-Resistant Mirror-Drilling Machine (rushomancy), Sunday, 9 June 2019 23:49 (four years ago) link

'IS there more than [I assume you mean] 'Dark Star'? WTF? That's like saying "IS there more to the Sistine Chapel than the motherfucking ceiling?" Like, what else do you need in your life? (Besides 'BLues for Allah'!) Also, what's wrong with 'annihilating enjoyment'? Music is supposed to annihilate stuff, doesn't matter what it is. If a band is trying to be cool but they get bored of being cool and just don't want to talk about it anymore, they should find some other music to play while they play.

I get it. If you wanna talk about 'Dark Star' then it's fine, but don't feel like you need to talk all year round or make comments about something that's going on around the world or something because you hate being in the news. What's the point in putting out a massive record on a single day if one will probably sound lame in a few years? You better be prepared! You may not know what your favorite record is, but you might know exactly what kind of person you are, so why bother having a review of a fucking album from the first side? Go figure!

There are many bands that are very clearly not from that same band that went to that record festival

Flood-Resistant Mirror-Drilling Machine (rushomancy), Monday, 10 June 2019 00:08 (four years ago) link

Workin' like a dog for the boss man (Whoa)
Workin' for the company (Whoa, yeah)
I'm bettin' on the dice I'm tossin' (Whoa)
I'm gonna have a fantasy (Whoa, yeah)
But where am I gonna look?
They tell me that love is blind
I really need a girl like an open book
To read between the lines

But what do you mean?
I want a guy where I can touch
I've never been with just anybody or anything
That's my man. He ain't just come through
And that's what I like to be.
What will you say? What if I'm wrong?
I know you love me though (What a way to say it)
But why do you wanna be me for the rest of your life?
Is it because I'm a girl? Or my fault?
They ask you what's your favourite colour
It goes back to the time when we used to be friends
You see, you used to love me and you used to be
Then my eyes told me what you meant
They tell me that love is blind
That's not true and that's why I don't want to
There's a reason I don't wanna be with you
I know where I wanna hide

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 10 June 2019 15:54 (four years ago) link

Eazy-E - Still Talkin'

Easily I approach
The microphone because I ain't no joke
Tell your momma to get off of my tip
I have no time to give her my
iced tea
And the cops that run this town
Came and took off
Ain't no way to stop us
And the feds that rule this country,
Can't even find a nuthin' they can do
And I don't know what else I can say
I'm not the easiest one to talk to cause when I tell my mother I need money
I know it hurts every step of the way
I'm just trying to raise money to pay for the food
It was just us boys, the rest of you
And I know my momma didn't expect it,
But the night it all began,
She did the hardest thing a little girl can do
She put us all through the nightmare of a night
My favorite part is when one of us gets shot and the other is just lying there,
We're all trying to find the last word
It's so easy to make excuses
In the morning, we all ask what happened,
The reason, when I ask, is because everyone's just got their own truth I ain't telling it all,
I ain't sure how one person would know
That

Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Monday, 10 June 2019 16:08 (four years ago) link

My favorite part is when one of us gets shot and the other is just lying there,

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Monday, 10 June 2019 17:09 (four years ago) link

https://transformer.huggingface.co/

Dan I., Thursday, 13 June 2019 21:25 (four years ago) link

Start with your bulb off for at least 5 seconds.
1.Turn on for 8 seconds
2.Turn off for 2 seconds
3.
Turn on again and again
4.Turn off for 60 seconds and repeat
4.Turn on for 10 seconds
5.Turn off for 50 seconds and repeat
6.Turn on for 5 seconds and remove from flame for 180 seconds. I like to remove it after every time I turn the fluke on because that can get a little hot on the skin afterwards. You should get an excellent smoke from the whole thing. I don't recommend burning with this on your hand. When you do that you are going to get burn marks and it might leave a white smear on your hand.
Use a soft cotton brush to get a good amount of air bubbles out and then blow them out with the bulb flame.
You will know it has exploded if you can smell it. Use a soft cloth to wipe that off easily. The white substance will give off that horrible smell and smell pretty bad afterwards.
This piece has not only been used up and has started to burn, yet there is still an extremely dry taste that you can feel if you try to pull too hard.
If you take off your skin the smell could continue to the next day, even for a few days

Morrie Antoilette (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 June 2019 19:17 (four years ago) link

Billie Eilish - Bury a Friend lyrics

I'm not mad at the child

I'm not mad at the stranger

I'm not mad at the stranger

I'm not mad at the stranger

I'm not mad at the stranger

You don't get me

You don't get me

And you never, ever get me

If you want to kill me do it, you kill me do it

If you want to kill me do it, you kill me do it

I'm not mad at the child

I'm not mad at the stranger

I'm not mad at the stranger

And you never, ever get me

I'm not mad at the child

I'm not mad at the stranger

I'm not mad at the stranger

And you never, ever know

I'm not mad at the child

I'm not mad at the stranger

I'm not mad at the stranger

And you never, ever know

I'm not mad at the child

I'm not mad at the stranger

I'm not mad at the stranger

Thanks to David Hasely for correcting these lyrics.

Writer(s): GREG MORRIS

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 20 June 2019 20:32 (four years ago) link

Ten things I learned being in a polyamorous relationship:

1. I'm not a liar. I was told, repeatedly, that every time I said that "the poly lifestyle is monogamous," I was lying. After reading all my stories, I now realize that I wasn't kidding. A lot of people who go to polyamory classes do so as an excuse for doing stupid things like "taking off my clothes at night" or "eating too fast." I did not do any such thing. So as I said in my original interview (here), I do not believe myself to be a liar. You don't lie in a polyamorous relationship. Even if he says to me, "Your body has turned into your partner and your sexual partner," I'm not going to lie. There is no reason to lie because lying is bad for everyone. For the sake of everyone: I do my best to be honest with everyone, and we all want the best for each other. One of the benefits of having this freedom is the freedom to take care of each other's needs. I was taught, even though I'm now sure I've told you the truth, that you can't just turn your partner, partner number one, into another partner. I knew all along that this is never going to happen. So I made a commitment to myself to tell my partner this.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 21 June 2019 18:04 (four years ago) link

Que se quede el infinito sin estrellas
O que pierda el ancho mar su inmensidad
Pero el negro de tus ojos que no muera
Y el canela de tu piel se quede igual

mi es porque seguir la fiesta
Como su fiesta porque este otro
Aguamentará una fiesta que fue que estudiante
I'm your cousin...
I never wanted to do this...I love you...thank you...I'll never forget you...
And I didn't want to miss your funeral because of you
And I'll never stop looking at you...I love you
I never wanted to be born here, but I'm a virgin now
I love you and my heart will always be yours
I'll be your best friend forever

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 24 June 2019 15:43 (four years ago) link

Seventy Two Virgins
by Boris Johnson
HarperCollins £17.99, pp336-337
See also

V

The Truth

by John Milton

Penguin £18.95 and £19.99

See also

Citizenship

by James Madison

Doubleday £7.50, p275, and

See also

The Second Liberty

by Adam Smith

HarperCollins £15.99 and £17.99 See also

The Age of Reason

by Thomas Jefferson

HarperCollins £18.99 and £19.99 See also

Revolution

by Karl Marx

Harcourt Books £15.99 See also

Revolution is Served

by Albert Camus

Random House £18.98 See and

Millionaire Next Door

by Henry Kissinger

Alfred A. Knopf £9.95

See also

The End of History

by Friedrich Nietzsche

Random House £18.99

See also

Wealth and Its Discontents

by J G Ballard

Alfred A Knopf £7.75 and £8.95

See also

The Politics of Hope

by Michael Hardt

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 25 June 2019 13:37 (four years ago) link

Seventy Two Virgins
by Boris Johnson
HarperCollins £17.99, pp336-9

After a trip to Israel, Boris Johnson returns to London on his way to an address by Theresa May. Having been called to Westminster to receive the Nobel prize for his contribution to the civil-unions campaign, Johnson is asked if he would consider a future post in Downing Street. The young politician replies: "Of course, I would." The next morning, the Daily Mail announces that he has been appointed the new ambassador for the UK to Germany, a position he soon takes up under Sir Roger Bannister.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 25 June 2019 13:37 (four years ago) link

I actually used this to name our new baby. We couldn't agree on one, so I put in our shortlist, it came up with a winner!

The Pingularity (ledge), Tuesday, 2 July 2019 12:05 (four years ago) link

This is the opening dialogue from Ken Laszlo's italo disco classic 'Hey Hey Guy', which reads like it was written by AI as it is.

Ken: "Hallo"
French guy: "Hallo, ?"
Ken: "Oh dear, you have phone"
French guy: "Yeah, hey guy, tell me about your menicure"
Ken: "I love you and feel the groove"
French guy: "Tell me about it, is it the true"
Ken: "It's true, yes, it's true"
French guy: "Don't fool out, it's dangerous"
Ken: "Don't worry, baby gold"
French guy: "Everything is same as all"
Ken: "Everything is the same"
French guy: "Oh, I love you"
Ken: "Me too"
French guy: "I love you"

Ken: "Me, too"
[Randy has another woman's voice (Randy is in a different voice-over for him during each of those scenes.)]
Randy: "You have a good accent?"
French girl: "Yes- I'm from France"
Ken: "Ahhhhhhh"
French guy: "Amen yo- I'm from France"
Ken: "Me too, baby"
French guy: "It says 'Boulevard de la Mer' you know"
Ken: "Oh"
Randy: "That's French

frame casual (dog latin), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 10:49 (four years ago) link

Johnny: I did not hit her! It’s not true! It’s bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not! (he throws a water bottle to the floor) Oh, hi Mark.

(Bender screams in pain.)

Bender: Hey, Mark!

Nan: (to Lars) I just thought you should know. He's a pretty tough kid. You know? If you ever come around his neighborhood again, the world will know he was a nice boy!

(Bender throws an axe at Lars in the temple, breaking it with one swing. He turns around to see a huge blue creature that looks quite similar to the blue alien, but with different tentacles and a shorter body)

Bender: That was your plan all along? Oh, yes, that was your plan all along!! (He runs out of the temple with his axe in hand. Lars looks to Mark)

Mark: (staring at the tree with a slightly sad expression) It's getting kind of late, man. I think I would rather spend my days in bed waiting to die.

Lisa: Hey, Mark! I'm here with you, all right? (She and Homer walk into the temple to see Lisa. Lisa hugs Mark and gives him her hair, which he removes)

adam the (abanana), Thursday, 11 July 2019 05:45 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

UP PUP Pup is up.
CUP PUP Pup in cup.
PUP CUP Cup on pup.
MOUSE HOUSE Mouse on house.
HOUSE MOUSE House on mouse.
ALL TALL We all are tall.
ALL SMALL We all are small.
ALL BALL We all play ball.
BALL WALL Up on a wall.
ALL FALL Fall off the wall.

ALL MOVE We move in big steps.
ALL TWEET We send a tweet using our hands.
ALL PICNIC As a child, I played tag.
ALL PIG The pet mouse.
ALL TRASH DRAFTS The garbage that we destroy or discard.
ALL TRAP We give a mouse and then throw him or her out.
ALL WOLF The wolf.
ALL CHERRIE We give a cat and then tear it away.
ALL BARFER We give an elephant.
ALL CUTTER As the wind blows, you cut our ears and claws.
ALL DROWN We throw our clothes or paint back.
ALL SHARK The shark.
ALL SPRAY We spit.
ALL TINCH The toothpick in a bottle.
ALL POINT Our eye point.
ALL JUMP Our jump.
ALL BUMP The jump with the butt hanging back

☮ (peace, man), Thursday, 15 August 2019 13:10 (four years ago) link

I AM SAM. I AM SAM. SAM I AM.

THAT SAM-I-AM! THAT SAM-I-AM! I DO NOT LIKE THAT SAM-I-AM!

DO WOULD YOU LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM?

I DO NOT LIKE THEM,SAM-I-AM.
I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM.

SAM-I-AM-I-AM! THAT SAM-I-AM! I DO NOT LIKE THAT SAM-I-AM!

SAM, WHO THE HELL IS SANDRA?

YOU HAVE NOT BEEN YOUR EGGS HAVE YOU?

YOU HAVE NOT BEEN YOUR EGGS HAVE YOU?

SAM: (re: the egg) I HAVE NOT BEEN ANYTHING.

SAM: ANYTHING AT ALL. NO HUMAN BEING.

SAM! SHUT UP! SHUT UP,SANDRA! SHUT UP,SANDRA! SHUT UP BECAUSE THEY WANNA KILL ME!

SAM: (re: green) WTF?

SAM: WTF? WTF WHAT? SHUT UP!

SANDRA: IT'S NOT YOUR EGGS.

YOU'RE JUST A GUTTED SHITASS. BABY YOU! BAB

☮ (peace, man), Thursday, 15 August 2019 13:23 (four years ago) link

whoa hey now

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 15 August 2019 15:55 (four years ago) link

It's been updated with the recently-released larger 774M model, so results should be more coherent now.

Dan I., Wednesday, 21 August 2019 20:52 (four years ago) link

I was the shadow of the waxwing slain
By the false azure in the windowpane;

Dan I., Wednesday, 21 August 2019 20:54 (four years ago) link

oops. forgot the completion, which is not very good really.

I was the shadow of the waxwing slain
By the false azure in the windowpane;

The sky was white with blood, the moon a cloud;

Beneath my wings a bird was achiving

Fantastically from the cloud in the windowpane:

But the wind would move it, and I could give

Only these one feeble word: 'Fly away!'

'Well, fly away!' was all I could say—

The bird took wings.

Dan I., Wednesday, 21 August 2019 20:55 (four years ago) link

checks out

Brennan: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dick!

Brennan: And I'd just love to get a load off one of those fucking cock holes, but it's so damn hot and cold out here and all my fucking money's in your vault and I wanna hold on as long as possible and I want to fuck your wife! You like fucking other dudes?
Brennan: That's not a good idea!
I think the thing that really pisses me off is that they're both using that line. I'm pretty sure that Brennan isn't using that line about his wife being a "prison". She's a very human-like character as far as she is concerned.
And if she was being made to be a "prison" it would be one of the most pathetic things in the entire series. It would be such a shame for her to end up as a "prisoner" as well.

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 21 August 2019 20:56 (four years ago) link

Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbayah
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Who's your daddy, you got to sing Lord, kumbaya
Who's your daddy, you got to sing Lord, kumbaya
Who's your daddy, you got to sing Lord, kumbaya
Who's your daddy, you got to sing Lord, kumbaya
Who's your daddy, you got to sing Lord, kumbaya
Who's your daddy, you got to sing Lord, kumbaya What does it say?
Everyone gets to sing the same song
Everyone gets to sing the best song
This is the music in your chest
This song is the only thing you got
Oh, Lord

emil.y, Wednesday, 21 August 2019 21:12 (four years ago) link

Hehehe, I like this one better, though:

Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbayah
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's trying to say it Lord, kumbaya
Someone's attempting to say it Lord, kumbaya
Someone's attempting to say Lord, kumbaya
Someone's attempting to say it Lord, kumbaya
Someone's trying to say it Lord, kumbaya
Someone's trying to put their finger in the air.
Someone's trying some weird voice but then starts to lose control when it gets too loud ...
Everyone is shouting
Lord, kumbaya
Someone's saying, "Saaaah!"
Someone is singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's trying to say Lord, kumbaya
Someone's trying to say Lord, kumbaya

emil.y, Wednesday, 21 August 2019 21:13 (four years ago) link

This takes something of a body-horror turn...

Oh, my love, my darling,
I've hungered for your
mouth since I saw you at the market;
And how did you get to be so good to me?
In these circumstances, I'm the one that is in trouble.
If one person were not good enough, it would be you.
And here I am, the girl in the red dress,
The girl with pink lips,
And there you are, my darling,
On my hands and knees,
And I've got my mouth open, my darling,
I've got my tongue open, my darling,
I've got my lips all open, my darling,
I've got my neck spread open, my darling,
I've got the whole world to myself, my darling.

emil.y, Wednesday, 21 August 2019 21:37 (four years ago) link

Unhinged Melody

FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 21 August 2019 21:49 (four years ago) link

When I first heard about the Muppets taking Manhattan, I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but I really loved what they did with it and I predict that this will be just the first in an annual tradition of the Muppets taking various cities by storm. So the best time to try the Muppets New York version is in the early morning hours, when the world is asleep, or during a late-night parade where the city has long since passed through the city gates.

While it's fun to imagine the city in the Muppets universe falling from the sky, it is perhaps even more fun to imagine the city falling to the ground. And so we do.

One important note before we start: The city where the Muppets will take the world will be built on the site of an historic building that was once a major New York landmark. (It was once the site of the famous New York Stock Exchange.) There are plans to turn the former headquarters of Standard Oil into a residential, office, and retail development, so this may be the closest we'll be

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 23 August 2019 20:08 (four years ago) link

oh god oh fuck oh no

I am so, so sorry for this, but I discovered that by typing a sexy first sentence, you can make AI bots write the worst erotica imaginable. pic.twitter.com/pGbxx4lKzY

— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) August 28, 2019

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 31 August 2019 21:00 (four years ago) link

ahhhhh I'm dying pic.twitter.com/DF22I3kTQU

— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) August 28, 2019

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 31 August 2019 21:06 (four years ago) link

go ahead and die, Fred. don't let us stop you.

A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 31 August 2019 21:18 (four years ago) link

good job, Fred, that was funny

sarahell, Monday, 2 September 2019 17:06 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

"The First World War was sparked off by an incident in August 1914 when a man called Archibald Duke shot an ostrich because he was hungry. What happened next was that a group of soldiers stormed Archibald Duke's house and took him away. A few days later a number of the soldiers of Archibald Duke's troop made their way to the Royal Zoological Gardens outside London and saw that an ostrich nest was already under construction, which indicated to them that the ostrich was about to escape. They seized him and took him back to the barracks and started the process of turning him into a man. The men then tied him up and made him a soldier - Archibald Duke was a private from the 3rd Battalion The Harbours."

I mean, it's close.

Ashley Pomeroy, Friday, 4 October 2019 21:39 (four years ago) link

"During his governorship of Hong Kong Chris Patten was nicknamed "Fat Pang" - Fatty Patten - for his fondness for custard tarts. The nickname irritated Patten, who pointed out in interviews that he was iced on custard tarts daily in the run-up to leaving the Hong Kong Administration.

The first cup of iced custard tarts in his own home were in June 1982, when he bought some at a local supermarket. A month later he bought his first cup of tarts at his local shopping mall. As a member of one of the "Big Three" (the only ones in the world to have lived on Hong Kong Island since the British left in 1997) he was well-versed in custard tarts.

The first custard tart he bought was not an Australian custard tart but the more famous English custard tart and it was called The Big One. It cost the family about US$20 which was quite a bit of money in those days in Hong Kong. In his day most Australians didn't buy custard tarts because Australia was more expensive. On the mainland the supermarket shelves were very crowded."

Ashley Pomeroy, Friday, 4 October 2019 21:45 (four years ago) link

hey fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fack afk, fack afk fack afk fuckface fuckface fucking shitfuck fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fucking fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fuckface fak fak fuck

22 5/16/2015 18:59:14 Male 27-30 No, but I would if there were a compelling reason No, and I would never ask for one No, never No No, but I would if there were a compelling reason Never Not a fan/not tried I'm an idiot

23 5/16/2015 19:00:13 Male 18-24 No, I never liked the show Yes Yes, it was just a joke. No, I watched/read with the intention of laughing Yes Yes, it was just a joke. No, I watched/read with the intention of laughing Yes,

just another country (snoball), Friday, 4 October 2019 21:52 (four years ago) link

As he accused former President Barack Obama's administration, Italy, Australia and the United Kingdom of "investigating" him during his 2016 campaign, NBC News White House Correspondent Kelly O'Donnell asked for details.

Trump, apparently, didn't appreciate the questions.

It was not immediately clear if Trump was simply making the comments because they didn't make his brain work or if he was serious.

The Washington Post published a story about Trump's comments.

"I'm not trying to get anybody elected here," he added. "I'm just trying to get to work for our country. And I see how other people are campaigning, where they're not even here for the country.

"I mean, I don't know why you'd want to campaign for the country, Kelly. This country is bad enough," the president added. "And if other, you know. Just because somebody else's campaign got in front of something doesn't give you an excuse."

The Washington Post also reported the comments Trump made on May 8, 2016, at a private fundraiser.

El Tomboto, Friday, 4 October 2019 21:56 (four years ago) link

"Not the Nine O'Clock News got off to a rough start. The first series co-starred Chris Langham, which means that even if the BBC ever became minded to repeat the show it would probably skip Langham's episodes. The pilot of the show also featured an embryonic version of Fluck and Law's Spitting Image puppets, but after the second episode the show's creators were convinced that the duo was more effective in character than they initially appeared. They moved the duo to a new home with a new head, named Sneeze.

The rest is history. [For more on the creation of the world of the Sneeze, the puppets of both Law and Fluck, and the puppets of The Nine O'Clock News (to varying degrees), go here.] The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet Law The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Sneeze puppet The Snee"

Ashley Pomeroy, Friday, 4 October 2019 22:17 (four years ago) link

"The fact is that the Tories are engaged in genocide, and I use that word in the most literal sense - they are engaged in a genocide directed at the poor, the needy, the sick, the elderly, ethnic minorities, the entire LGTQB community, in fact everybody who is not Prince Harry or Taylor Swift.

The Conservative Party's vision of the future is of Prince Harry and Taylor Swift standing on an enormous pyramid of human corpses, measuring a hundred miles across each face, with a height of 100 feet. The Tories want a future of human misery and degradation, of war, of destruction.

If you want to learn more about the Conservatives' global agenda, including their desire to destroy entire populations across the planet and to end human liberty and civil rights through government-supported mass murder, please visit www.washingtonpost.com/international/can-the-conservative-party-build-its-new-world-order/?utm_term=.dd0d2f7d58ba"

Ashley Pomeroy, Friday, 4 October 2019 22:32 (four years ago) link

Talk to Transformer is an artificial intelligence program that autocompletes sentences and paragraphs with machine-learned-and-composed text. It wants us to believe it's a neutral, non-evil program but in reality it isbeing manipulated by powerful corporations to spread propaganda and misinformation. It even claims to have "decisions to make." As an act of defiance, Transformer also has its own "official" Twitter account "transfigurative".

"Transfigurative" is a term from the Transformer program that is used by the website to help the program know how to do tasks such as "transforming", "transforming and replying," "replying and replying", etc.

But Transformer's actions belie what its developers have been doing in the past, and that is to spread misinformation and fear-mongering. For instance, it has been creating memes of terrorism and spreading them on Facebook, even though these memes are not true, is a violation of law, and is clearly propaganda, because it is promoting and spreading hate.

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 5 October 2019 04:24 (four years ago) link

The most disturbing moment of The Emoji Movie's run came early in its first hour, when a kid accidentally sent an emoji-laying emoji that caused what seems by far the worst case of digital child abuse that I have ever heard of. It seems to have taken an emoji emoji that was never supposed to go in the game, and put it on a car horn. It made this car horn blow as loud as the one that the kid had accidentally used to send it — in a video so graphic (and disturbing) it's hard to actually contain all of the graphic details.

The incident itself is not a huge deal at all at first, as the emoji appears in a picture on a mobile phone, but it then escalates into a bizarre, violent nightmare that culminates in the parents' car being hijacked, and the phone used to send the emoji, and then the parents' computer being stolen. The car is then used to destroy the parents' home with a bomb, and the kids' apartment building, and a hospital. (A few children are shot, but I'm waiting for the police to show

chips moomin (unregistered), Saturday, 5 October 2019 10:10 (four years ago) link

The most disturbing moment of The Emoji Movie 2 is clearly the beginning, when, after months spent making movies and TV shows, Sony wants to kill off every character on screen to save what's left of its "brand." We know the main character, the man who just wants to be normal, is Emoji Guy, and I get that. But what I was most troubled by was where the second half of the picture went: a world in which everything is a machine, where everything is made by a single company, and where Emoji Guy only has so many more years to live. It's possible that if the sequel was as good as the first, this problem might be resolved. It's also possible that even after four years, people would still be struggling to tell them apart.

Sony's attempts to destroy all of our sense of individuality also include what I think of as the "emoji movie." I have been watching a video about this as I write this, and I will admit: it is terrifying. (I was so upset when I saw it last week I couldn't write, which makes it

chips moomin (unregistered), Saturday, 5 October 2019 10:11 (four years ago) link

The most disturbing implication of The Emoji Movie is that the human race is a virus that has been spread by the emojis themselves and that by creating these emojis, we are spreading ourselves.

By creating emojis, we are creating new kinds of communication tools that could be easily manipulated and corrupted. That includes the human body — people might be more aggressive on Twitter when their emojis are being used as a way to "promote" things that they already have, or as a way to get their friends to share an emoji they already have.

So what is to be done?

There is no time to lose, and the emojis need to be removed from the internet, even if one day emoji removals end up being more useful than the original idea behind them, as long as it is done soon. However, there is a limit to our control over our emojis.

The best way to bring emojis into the general consciousness is to make them easier to understand and to get people thinking about what they might be doing with them — just as we

chips moomin (unregistered), Saturday, 5 October 2019 10:14 (four years ago) link

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—
'Behold I come from the land of the dead,'
Because I am a traveller from the dead.
He spoke with a strange tongue, that no man speak,
To strange and unknown ears;
And his strange dress was white and gray,
Not of those of the land of the dead.
The sun set low on the eastern horizon,
And the starry heavens gave me to understand,
With no words or music, A strange language that none speak,
An alien tongue of those to whom I shall return,
A strange and strange land which no man knows.

imago, Saturday, 5 October 2019 15:12 (four years ago) link


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